View Full Version : Update: Well I did it!


Bluerose
04-13-11, 08:34 AM
Well I did it. I told psych-doc that I didnít think I needed to see her again. She made some comments about the complexity of my DID condition. But I told her that I was doing fine and that the DID symptoms had faded or been integrated. I didnít ask the questions I was going to ask because I didnít want to get agitated. So I just reassured her that my family support system was in place and very dependable. Anyway, long story short, she agreed to leaving things as they were for three months. So she gave me an appointment for three months time. Iíll chill for a while and see how I do and if everything goes okay Iíll cancel it nearer the time.

Think Iíll take a couple of day to myself and get my head around this.

excel
04-13-11, 08:50 AM
Well I did it. I told psych-doc that I didnít think I needed to see her again. She made some comments about the complexity of my DID condition. But I told her that I was doing fine and that the DID symptoms had faded or been integrated. I didnít ask the questions I was going to ask because I didnít want to get agitated. So I just reassured her that my family support system was in place and very dependable. Anyway, long story short, she agreed to leaving things as they were for three months. So she gave me an appointment for three months time. Iíll chill for a while and see how I do and if everything goes okay Iíll cancel it nearer the time.

Think Iíll take a couple of day to myself and get my head around this.
What is DID condition?

Lunacie
04-13-11, 09:53 AM
Bluerose - I'm so glad to hear you feel like you're in a good place and handling your life well now. Very good news!




What is DID condition?

Dissasociative Identity Disorder. What used to be called MPD, Multiple Personality Disorder.

Sandy4957
04-13-11, 10:15 AM
I hope that things go well for you, Bluerose.

But there's certainly no shame in seeing her earlier if things start to feel "off," you know. You don't have to "go it alone."

So how are things with you and your family? I haven't kept up because I was away from the forum for a while. Is your grandson still with you?

danelady
04-13-11, 11:09 AM
We'll be here to cheer you on!!

buddy
04-13-11, 05:36 PM
Good for you Bluerose!

sarek
04-13-11, 05:48 PM
Wonderful news Bluerose. Its so great to hear you are doing so well. You have come a long way and I think in many ways you can call this a well deserved victory.

Fortune
04-13-11, 06:28 PM
Hope this works out well. It's great news. :)

Bluerose
04-13-11, 06:41 PM
What is DID condition?


excel, :)

DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) is just one of many diagnoses I have been given over the years. I believe I went through the worst of it long before it was finally diagnosed. I also believe that I have been in recovery for quite some time with the occasional downward spiral.

DID is where certain aspects of a personality are split off and can feel like separate parts of the Self. It's a spectrum disorder as in some people are more effected than others.

Bluerose
04-13-11, 07:01 PM
I hope that things go well for you, Bluerose.

But there's certainly no shame in seeing her earlier if things start to feel "off," you know. You don't have to "go it alone."

So how are things with you and your family? I haven't kept up because I was away from the forum for a while. Is your grandson still with you?


Sandy4957, :)

Hi! I can and will get an earlier appointment if things take a turn. Many positive things are in place for a good summer; weather is improving, pressure and stress is hugely reduced and I'm doing good with no meds. Kids and grandkids are all doing well. My grandson is still with me, he will be 18 at the end of May!!!!

I hope things are going well for you, too. :)

Bluerose
04-13-11, 07:05 PM
Wonderful news Bluerose. Its so great to hear you are doing so well. You have come a long way and I think in many ways you can call this a well deserved victory.


sarek, :)

Thank you for all the wonderful support. :)

Bluerose
04-14-11, 10:44 AM
This began as a post for another thread on personality disorders. But once I started writing, it became more like a journal entry and I thought it might be a good idea to make it a part of my latest update.

I believe I'm recovering from a personality disorder. Or at the very least I have learned to cope with it and it's issues. I recently told my psych-doc that I didn't want to see her anymore. This last session of psych-doc appointments began three years ago, when I first came to this forum. It was around that time too when I refused medication apart from an antidepressant occasionally when I really needed it.

All in - over the years - I have had around ten such session periods of two to three years of talking to psych-docs. I've also had around six psych-hospital stays over a period of thirty years, the longest and most productive stay being six weeks in 1994. I had been on and off antidepressants and anti-psychotic meds since I was twenty-two. This is when the symptoms began to surface. At my worst, I heard voices and I had visions and I thought I was psychic. During 'clear spells', which gradually extended more and more as I gained more and more insight into my condition, I knew something wasn't quite right but I didn't know what was wrong.

To begin with, I worked to ignore it telling myself that it was my imagination. It was a triggered suicide attempt when I was 22 that involved my first hospital stay where the struggle began to find someone with some answers. It took a long, long time to find those answers.

Over the years I have been diagnosed with everything from severe depression to a schizoaffective disorder. And eventually in 2009, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). I've read up on this and I'm aware of some symptoms but this isn't a disorder that you are really aware of having because everything that goes on goes on below the surface, and you are only aware that something isn't quite right when you begin to feel a heavy fog of depressed descending.

The trouble with 'clear spells' is that I come to feel really peed-off at the lost time and what this has done to my life and my family. They all seem fine and tell me I worry too much if I try to ask them what they remember of those years. It makes me shiver to think about where I would be if it wasn't for them.

ginniebean
04-14-11, 12:05 PM
BlueRose,

I'm so glad to hear you're doing well. I think it's wonderful that you're family has supported you thru so many difficult times. If there's a lesson to be learned it's that love is given even when we don't think we deserve it. Which just goes to say all these ideas and qualifications we 'think' love requires are just so much tongue wagging. Love like water can get thru the cracks of those stories thank goodness.

You've had a lot of life stolen from you by this illness, honour that but careful about getting stuck.

All the very best to you.

Bluerose
04-14-11, 01:19 PM
Thank you for your words of support. I think I’m in a ‘take stock’ mode and reminding myself that nothing is ever as bad as we imagine it to be. I’m trying to look back at the whole thing without making it out worse than it actually was. I struggled as a kid but I had a whole lot of support as a young adult when this stuff began to surface. I know for sure I would never have made it on my own.