The person that I am in my mind doesn't match the person that I am in real life. I do care about how I look, for example, but there's always something in the way that stops me from doing the beauty rituals that I would like to do. I would like to buy new clothes but having two daughters pulling my clothes in public and not being in my ideal weight I continue to postpone it. In my mind I dress sexy (like I used to), but in reality I have that yoga teacher look that most new moms have. Anyway, I have no excuse for certain things like not wearing makeup or postponing buying new underware. My hair is always tied up with a big clip, which I think my husband is getting tired to look at.

I'm really bad about not getting my hair cut often enough. I don't like to do my hair in the mornings, but when a haircut starts to look bad, I just keep with it until someone says something, usually my husband. I tried wearing makeup for awhile, but I quit after a month or so. I just don't wear makeup now. Oh well. Everyone else can just live with my "natural" beauty!

Marie

I have managed to solve the haircutting issue...I do my own bangs, and let my hair grow long for about two years. Then when I have ten inches to spare, I get it lopped off and styled at a salon that donates it to Locks of Love. It's a nice tradition with my niece for Rosh HaShanah. In between it's usually up in a clip but if I'm feeling bummed about the shagginess I fluff it out on top and spritz some blue into it. I don't wear makeup anymore, I don't have time to put it on and nowhere to wear it. The clothes are frumpy because everything's uncomfortable due to my weight. I can't afford it anyway. Ya know though, I really hate clothes shopping. It is a constant focus, comparing prices, thinking it all through and takes forever. I usually shop at Goodwill and sometimes there are no sizes on things, which makes it challenging to pick the right thing. Lately I've been wearing my husband's clothes because they're so darn comfortable. I even tried his boxer briefs...boy are those things comfortable! Flush the thong, man! Excuse the tangent but I can't help but wonder what women would really wear if given a choice and not heterosexual men trying to dress them and tell them what looks good? I looked in my friend's Victoria Secret catalog...honestly...40 bucks for some lacey, itchy, tight, wedgy-making undies! 40 bucks for something made for the first 5 minutes of foreplay! Ooops, sorry, family site and I'm being naughty again.

Back to issue...when I take the time to look on the outside what I feel like on the inside it takes way too long for a low-maintenance girl like me. Does anyone here truly take the time to bother? I just want to look healthy and have energy...DON'T! sigh....

I try, try, try to maintain myself. My boyfriend says he thought I was high maintainence when we first went out. He says to his happy surprise I am not that bad. :confused:

I have wanted to be girlie, but it is uncomfortable to me. I paint my toenails but the polish is chipped. I can grow my nails long and polish them, only to let them go and have some long and some short. Of course the polish is chipping and I help it along by picking at it. I get my hair styled at the salon and I am girlie for a day, only to wash it and put it in a pony tail the next day.

I like outdoorsy clothes. I like jeans and hiking gear...do you know what I mean? I don't dress Liz Claiborne. I think I have class, my ex husband told me so. But I don't know if there is such a thing as a classy-tomboy. :confused:

My Mom told me my grandma used to buy me pink dresses with lace and such. The next thing she would see is me outside climbing a tree in it. So beauty has to remain natural for me....

I personally go through what I like to call "BEAUTIFYING SPURTS", not only is it FUN to say...lol it teds to explain it quite clearly.
Bueaty products come in the millions, Biore` introduces the "PORE CLEANSING STRIPS...I of course HAD to HAVE them. Physicians Formula Make-up, had to have it. A new straightening formula for the hair, had to do it. The hair iscurly again (lack of maintenance, the make up sits in a basket in the bathroom, looks nices, but rarely gets worn, the pore strips, they come in packs of 6, there are 4 left. Because I have nice displays of all these beauty products in my bathroom, that is normally what I receive as gifts from those who frequent my home, so they now overflow into a closet. I wear makeup only when going to something where makeup is needed. I wear capri pants and t shirts most days, unless I have a meeting then I do my best to look half way presentable. My hair is 99.95% of the time pulled up in a pony tail (thatis messy, I might add) because I dont want to have to mess with it. I have not had my eyebrows waxed in YEARS, and well, it truly doesnt bother me. COuld I look better? YES! Do I have the means and products to do so? YES! Do I have the time? Well, I could make time, but why bother, it is so much nicer to roll out of bed 10 minutes before I have to be to work, jump in and outof the shower, throw up my hair, and throw on some clothes. Why stand in the bathroom for an hour plus primping justto go to work and come home again, and then have to do it all over day in and day out.
I like to buy anduse new products, but they just endup sitting there. Now my focus is on trying NOT to buy things that I KNOW I am not going to use.

Ha ha Latesha! I bought those Oil of Olay face wash towlettes like 4 years ago. They remain on my sink with like four in the box. The box looks nice on my sink.

Hey? What if a guest wants to freshen up??

Heh, I always have to get a new hairdo every few months. I just get bored with the same look. But its never anything glamourous. Sometimes I cut my own hair. Right now Im sporting the short messy shag currently with bangs in my eyes.

I don't like to wear makeup. I only wore makeup in my highschool years and early twenties because of the acne. I love the natural look. Ill only wear a little bit of makeup for going out.

I hate nail polish except for clear color. And I hate long nails.

I do hate wearing dresses and skirts or anything too girly. I hate pink and pastels. Dont wear alot of jewelery if any at all. Whenever I do dress up, Its usually some nice slacks, high heels, and a bold colored shirt.

I don't do any "beauty rituals".

I hate thongs. They are the most uncomfortable things in the world. Women who wear them all the time are only doing it because guys like it. They are lying when they say they are comfortable. How can a permanent wedgie be comfortable? Am I wrong? My bf loves thongs so I bought one just for him, but I never wear it. It like my last pair I wear before laundry day when I have nothing left.

Nah, you aren't hopeless. I hate fingernail polish, wearing dresses, and I have no talent for hair whatsoever. I don't do beauty rituals either, though I have noticed that women who have beauty rituals seem to always look nice, even when they 'go casual.' I also hate that you can't call thongs (those things one wears on one's feet), 'thongs' anymore  we have to refer to them as 'flip-flops' now so people know which part of the body we are talking about. How primitive! Anyway, you are not alone!

I have tons of creams and makeup that just sit around. I keep meaning to use them but never do. I could never keep up with those skin treatment routines so I've quit buying that stuff. I don't dress up a lot but when I do I can look pretty decent. I usually look neat but the clothes are pretty plain and comfortable. I do the toenails in the summer but do wind up with the chipped look eventually. I do my nails occassionally when they get long enough to bother with and give up when they start to break. I could never seem to keep up a nail routine.

I don't have the money or time to do the weekly or monthly haircut, so it's pretty long. My best friend trims it every couple of months or so. I usually wear it long with a hair clip and fluff up the bangs. All the female people I know would like to see me hack it off. All the men tell me it's beautiful and to never cut it. Who do I listen too? Take a guess? I will probably take it to the grave. It's just a me thing. It's become an extension of me. I think there would actually be people who didn't recognize me if I cut it short. Besides the fact that I hate short hair on me. When I was a girl my mother had it hacked off every month and I looked like a boy. As for makeup, ever since right before high school I've always used some eyeliner and mascara. I have large italian doe eyes and it really accents them. I feel naked without it. Most of the time that's about all I do. I add a little blush when I am going to work or out somewhere special. I also sometimes line my eyebrows because they are so light you can hardly see them. Lucky for me I don't have to pluck them all the time, what a pain. It only takes a few minutes for the makeup because I don't use that much of it. I do love jeans but right now I look to heavy in them so I mostly just wear a nice top and Kacky pants. I would say most of the time I am pretty low maintenance. Years ago it used to take me 3 hours to get ready, now I'm down to a half hour or less depending where I'm going. Big difference. Oh, and I agree about the thongs, very uncomfortable. I think as most women get older we notice the comfort as much as the look of clothes. I try to look nice but feel comfortable too. For me it just takes too much time and focus to look totally perfect every day of the week.

um one second while I get my hair out of my eyes :D

I think I am beyond procrastination in this area. The last time I went to put makeup on for a special event I had to throw it out because it was all dried out.

Every once in awhile I am inspired to try some new beauty thing but since having kids I just don't bother.

Hey girls! I will tell you one beauty ritual that is fairly easy and doesn't take hours of fuss. I get those Mega Women GNC vitamins and pop one in the morning after breakfast and one in the afternoon after lunch.

I started taking them after much research on the subject and found them to be superior to the others. They may be a little more expensive, but it's worth it. They make me feel better and look better.

Exercise is another healthy beauty ritual, but I'll talk about that when I start doing it on a regular basis!

Latesha,
that's kind of like me. I like to buy the products, but then don't use them consistently.

Thanks for your replies. I can relate to all of you. I never paint my nails. Thongs are uncomfortable to me also. I only have two thongs to play with my husband and for some pants were you can see regular panties through them. I do like to dress up and look girly but it has to be comfortable. If I cannot move freely, I get in a bad mood. Also, I like very long hair and hate to go to hairdressers because they will start pushing me to let them cut my hair shorter. I cut it myself. I never wear jewerly. Like I have said: In my mind, I like it. But in reality, I rarely use any. When I do, the first thing I do when I get home is taking the jewelrs off. I'm in search of my "beauty identity" (haha, how phylosophical I'm getting about such trivial thing). I guess I'm a "natural" who likes dress up or look girly when she is in the mood or on special occassions.

this thread is interesting...I thought of my lack of style for the past 15 years was do to having kids,a non glam job and being over weight.

I usally wear my hair up and pulled back. At 4:30am who the heck cares about their hair. I wash my face with special anti not look my age stuff and throw on some moisturizer. I wear sunglasses while I work so I don't bother with eyes makeup. It's only on the cloudy days I think about putting some on. My clothes are T shirts, sweat shirts and jeans..

Funny story: I drop off a group early in the am. Because it was 6 hours before they wanted to be picked up I went home. I washed my hair,styled it nice and added some makeup. When I went back to get this group they thought I was a different girl... It was embarrassing in a way ... :D


If I do wear something different than my jeans and a t shirt and add makeup. leave my hair down, my girls will ask me were I'm going..... :D

I paint my toenails but the polish is chipped. I can grow my nails long and polish them, only to let them go and have some long and some short. Of course the polish is chipping and I help it along by picking at it

Wait, are you trying to say this isn't the way all us stylish women wear their toe polish and their nails :D I thought I was being very fashionable.. hee hee

Call it the new nail trend from Paris...Le chip :p

I don't often do my nails, especially my fingernails, because I destroy them immediately. I refer to it as the "distressed" or "shabby chic" look, but no one seems to get the joke. :rolleyes: DH is actually kind of annoyed that I don't do them more often .... he got me a nice manicure set and everything. I think he'd probably appreciate a little more "girliness" on my part. :rolleyes:

My hair tends to go too long between haircuts. It tends towards curly/frizzy, and I often let it airdry in summer, with mixed results. Right now it is at that really annoying phase when it's determined to look bad whatever I try to do to it, until I break down and get it cut.

In general, I often feel as if there was a secret class that every other woman took years ago, to teach her exactly what is fashionable, show her how to look pulled-together, and convince her that it's all worth her time. I can dress up and look good, but the finer points still elude me.

wow i thought it was just me who didn't care about that kinda stuff. Yeh my hair is nearly always tied up.. make up, well i think partly im allergic to it, especially around my eyes.. my eyes just go red and get sore/itchy. Ive got moisturiser stuff my mum got me over 5 yrs ago, which i put on somtimes when my face looks all dry. Clothes, well shopping is ok, somtimes.

"In general, I often feel as if there was a secret class that every other woman took years ago, to teach her exactly what is fashionable, show her how to look pulled-together, and convince her that it's all worth her time. I can dress up and look good, but the finer points still elude me."

that is so true... exactly what i think!!

I'm lucky I guess. In my job, no polish is allowed, moderate make-up, and casual dress. I wear jeans so I don't have to take the extra time to match things up. I buy all this stuff and tell myself I'm going to try harder, but when you don't take the time to shave your legs like they should be done, well the other stuff gets pushed to the side too.

This is a really interesting thread.....

All of my life I have been a "tom boy". In fact, to this day, I don't even know HOW to put on make-up! I am "girl impaired" my female friend tells me. I keep my nails short, because I am just too damn clumsy to function with long fingernails (I have a hard enough time with short ones!). I used to keep my hair pretty short, in efforts for an easier hair style, but it got old to get it cut every 4 weeks, so now its about sholder lenght. Its in that "in between" stage, where I can't tie it back, or do much of anything with it.

Fortunatly at my job, I am required to wear a baseball cap. Also, we have tee-shirts for work, and with that I usualy wear shorts (it gets hot in the kitchen). When I leave work, I basically just switch hats, and put on a regular "girl" tee shirt. I have a VERY simple wardrobe. I've always been that way.

Girly is one thing I don't think I will ever be.

-Anty

I'm lucky I guess. In my job, no polish is allowed, moderate make-up, and casual dress. I wear jeans so I don't have to take the extra time to match things up. I buy all this stuff and tell myself I'm going to try harder, but when you don't take the time to shave your legs like they should be done, well the other stuff gets pushed to the side too.
I do pretty well with the shaving in the summer, but in the winter--watch out! I just tell my husband that I'm growing my winter coat for extra warmth. He's not amused.

I wear foundation, lipstick and blush every day. Haven't put any eye make up on in I don't know when; it drives me crazy.

Nails? Inconsistent in that department. Not a biter. I can grow 'em long, but sometimes I like polish and other times I don't. (Usually I can't find my polish so I guess it really doesn't matter!)

I absolutely hate curling irons and curlers and blow dryers and all that stuff, so I have a wash and wear cut.

I'm not a big jewelry fan either. I can't begin to tell you how much jewelry I 've misplaced over the years. Now I only wear my wedding set, my mother's ring and some diamond studs. I don't care if I ever have any more jewelry. (Ok, that's a lie. I REALLY want a nice strand of pearls. But that's all. Really.)

Oh my gosh, you are talking to me! I get a haircut when I can't see though my bangs anymore, I get my nails done every three years. Luckily I have little body hair, but I shave under my arms and my legs like every two or three months. I do shower regularly though. I have makeup that I usually wear 7-10 times before the makeup expires. Very expensive waste.

You ladies just made me smile, see me transform :)

Hmmm, I am completely the opposite. Most threads I have read about ADD I can immediatly relate with but not this one.


I go every 3 weeks to get my nails filled, they are acrylic and are done in pink and white so it always looks like I have a perfect french manicure.

I wear make up - couldn't imagine even going for coffee in the morning without any one. I don't look heavily made up but always have some on.

I have tons of jewelry.

Huge wardrobe, I have friends that actually "shop" in my closet. If they have functions they come to me - I probably have 20 dresses for black tie events. My 13 yr old daughters friends keep telling her how lucky she is because she can borrow her Mom's Abecrombie jeans.

I color my hair. I work out 4 to 5 days a week - which to me is the single most important thing that I do for myself. I am such a girlie girl. I think that is why people have been so surprised that have ADD (people who live with me understand) but outsiders always say I am so "put together".

I guess I am the odd one out on this thread.

Debs, that is kinda what i want to be like.. but ive got no idea where to start. GRR i hate being me.. why am i so retarded and know nothing!!

I mean i can go to places, but i just dotn really connect withthe chicks that work at those kinda places... im thinking about my car or something and they wanna discus.. i duno, something else...

I may be a girlie girl but I can connect much better with men. At a party where I don't know many people I gravitate to the males - I find women are much more difficult to get to know.

I'm always, always, always trying. I have decent clothes--but mostly they are jumbled up in piles or need to be taken to the dry cleaners, so I have trouble finding anything decent to wear. I do my hair and make-up everyday. OK, so my makeup routine is like brushing my teeth--I do EXACTLY the same thing everyday in order to look like a decent southern girl, and no more. And my hair is very long, so all I do is put it up in a twist--but I do try to make it look polished, at least for work. I try to do my nails regularly, although I do have lapses, so I keep only very pale stuff on my hands so that if it chips it isn't too noticeable. Leave the color for my toes! :)

So, basically, this is like everything else in my life. I'm a girlie-girl at heart, and make a decent effort at it, but unfortunately I never can accomplish what I'd really like to accomplish.

I can really relate to this thred! In HS I used to be the girl who spent an hour in front of the bathroom mirror curling her hair and doing her makeup. Now I'm lucky if I can get 5 minutes to put on my makeup in the mornings. I have decided to stop trying to keep up with my gray hair and have colored my hair my natural mousey-brown so that when the roots grow out it won't look so bad. (I will probably change my mind when I start seeing those grays! LOL) I used to dress nice, but between finances and no time or energy for clothes care my work wardobe is basically dockers and knit tops. I hate it, though, I miss looking pretty, and feel my self-esteem suffers.

"beauty matters"...
:D

i just got this crew cut - mostly because i needed to treat my itching scalp (docs think it's some kind of psoriasis), and it's *so* much easier without all that curly hair - but also 'cause i kind of like it!

make-up's not for me - never has been...

i wash, brush my teeth and put some "boss" (deodorant) on, and i'm outta there!

"beauty matters"...
:D

I have never worn make-up, nor done any skin care routine beyond washing my face with Dove soap daily, in the shower. Now that I am diagnosed with ADD and on Strattera, I am finally able to perform the previous mysteries: cleaning, moisturizing, applying make-up daily--I look much better than ever before!

I can shop now, too. Clothing departments are like this new wonderland. Where I was way too overwhelmed to even peek before meds, I can now spend hours trying on clothes to find just the right things for me. It is fun! I just splurged on a new wardrobe and I feel pretty.

My husband is so good to me. My hope is that my looking good makes him happy. He never complained, but I think the new me must be better.

Oh, yeah. Jewelry. I can't stand it. I wear earrings once in a while, to be "dressed up," and an occasional necklace, but I don't like to spend money on such things. And I can't stand bracelets or watches--I go mad quickly having something touching my wrist.

You mean my shaggy haircut (wash, shake and go), no make-up, extra 10 or more pounds, pajama's and Piglet slippers aren't proper public attire or sexy?

I just don't have the time anymore it seems like. Between working full time, hubby, kids, house, pets, charities, the kids sporting events, homework. LIFE? what's that? The last time I went shopping for me I debated for over an hour on whether or not to spend $50.00 on a pair of work shoes (mine had lost their soul--ironic huh?) and I finally grabbed the shoes, paid for them and ran out with my husband on my heels bellowing "OMG we're all doomed she's spent 50 bucks on herself OOOO what shall we ever do?" Big dope!!*rolls eyes* But, I think as a mother and the balancer of the checkbook it gets really hard to part with money used on ourselves. And haircut the last time I had a haircut the baby was small enough to sit still on my lap, now he thinks he can walk.

I am super high maintainence =(

Nails done bi weekly, weekly pedicures, my hair is platnium blonde and I have naturally brown hair so I get my roots done monthly but I tend to touch it up with a rince or semi-permanet weekly, I buy new cloths monthly (underwear has to match), I've had plastic surgery, breast augmentation and liposuction.

I shave everyday (completely hairless from the neck down) and I take on average about 2 showers a day. My hair and make-up always has to be done.

I'm a freakishly girly girl. I wear high heels and skirts more than jeans, although I do wear jeans with my heels now and then, I have some sneakers for working out and one pair of these black shoes to wear to work in the winter when it snows, and a couple pairs of flip flops for vacations/going out side to the hot tub or grabbing the mail, etc., but other than that all my shoes are heels (and I have about 40 pairs of shoes). I have more pink cloths (and even some shoes) than any normal person should legally beable to own....

I have tons of face and body lotions. (not to mention purfume) I am obssessed with anti-ageing creams, my body is basically covered in creams and lotions from head to toe after every shower, except for what I can't reach on my back.... it is insanity. Teeth whitening crap, cellulite creams, alfa hydroxies, retinals, .....

I have an elliptical, I exercise a lot, do yoga/pilates tapes.... I am always "stretching"....

But all of this is really bad, we're not rich, so I am "expensive but cute" as my husband would say... I feel terrible I cost so much money. I feel terrible that everyone has to wait for me because Bunny has to take get ready.

I spend copeous amounts of time exfoliateing, plukeing, showeing, doing facials, and other crap when I could be doing something productive. I do enjoy these activities, but it's obessive.

Besides being vain as hell, it's emotional, my parents and grandmother use to dress me up as a doll basically as a child and they were always praised for having such a "pretty little girl" and because I was viewed as "stupid and a bad kid" in school it was the only thing that made me feel good about myself. (I do that now with my husband, I get dressed up to look nice on his arm but I usually just stand there and don't say anything) Then there is high school, which is a mind screw for self esteem anyway, so again importance was put on looks. And again because I felt like I was stupid and saw how being attractive makes life easier.

It sounds really horrible, and it is and I feel like I'm a bad person sometimes. Vanity is evil and all that rot. But it's because I have self esteem issues, I hate it that everyone thinks I'm stupid because I can't express my intelligence, I have an eating disorder, and I pretty much changed everything I possiblely could about myself trying to become someone different. I have transformed into Bunny Star, but it really doesn't matter, I still feel dumb, misunderstood and alone. It's something to hide behind I guess.

hmmm, I can both relate to this post and not relate to this post. I also have had plastic surgery (breast augmentation) which I gave myself as a present after losing 60lbs. I get my nails done, go mystic tanning every week, I wore a sweatshirt with jeans and sneakers out to my son's soccer game last week and hated it!! I am usually dressed up or at least have heals on, I color my hair...etc. But I don't feel vain, first of all I have always felt very ordinary in my looks (low self-esteem) although in reality I know that I am above average, only because I get told that all the time. That is so hard for me to even type. But I don't think I am the least bit shallow, I give platelets every two weeks ( over a two hour process) and give blood as often as allowed, I send gift packages to children that have cancer (I have over 30 children that I follow and keep in touch with weekly) I volunteer at the Ronald McDonald house, and I have a full time job, husband and 3 kids. Those things make me feel good about myself as the makeup, workouts etc.

I think it is a blessing and a curse to have "looks". My husband and I were talking the other day about the fact that my life as a women who had undiagnosed ADD was made so much easier because of my looks. I never did well in school but was always very popular, always got the guy everyone wanted, and did well in my life. I think it is wrong but doors are definetly opened to people who look a certain way. The down side of that is I know I am treated a certain way because of how I look and got a certain amount of attention because of it. I don't always know how to validate myself any other way than getting the attention, not able to feel good about myself unless I get positive attention from others. It can make or break my day.

In the past two years I have started to realize that I am the only one who can make myself happy and that doing for others really fills me up more than what I look like. I dress like I do, put makeup on, get my nails done, because I like the way it makes me look, feel, but not because I want to impress anyone else. It took me quite a while to get more "well rounded" and it feels so much better.

I don't mean to say you are shallow bunnystar, I am understanding how you feel. There have been times that I have been at an event with my husband and just been on his arm smiling and feeling like I have nothing to say, just nodding my head and being pleasant and the people that I meet with later tell my husband what a wonderful wife he has, and I am thinking to myself - I didn't say anything intelligent to make them feel that way - hence it must be the way I look.

To others reading this post, If I come across as stuck up, I am not the LEAST bit stuck up. I am incredibly shy but when I get to know someone I am one of the most loyal friends you would ever know. It is hard for me to think of myself as anything other than very ordinary.

Bunnystar, a question for you, I am curious if when you find yourself in a group of people you don't know do you tend to gravitate towards the men in the group? I find that men are more welcoming initially than women....

I know logically I'm not a "bad person", I am told that I am very sweet and a nice person all the time. I am frequently told by my friends that I am "too nice" and they say that they wouldn't do many of the things that I do nor would they have the patience or kindness for people that I do. I tend to be extrememly sensative and it's in my nature to want to help people, I have a lot of girlfriends who all call me their "best friend" even though I feel like I haven't done anything to validate the intense connection they feel. (some of them I do)
I don't charity work, but for example the other night at the bar, some guy came up to me and started to talk to me (he was really drunk) I was trying to be polite so I talked with him although I really didn't want to and wished he would just leave me alone.

He asked me if I would go check on his wife in the bathroom since she had been in there a while (mind you I never met these people before in my life and they were, well, not the calibur of people I would normally hang out with.... I don't mean to use the words, dumb trailor trash, but yay, sorry it's the truth, I don't mean it to be stuck up, but they were low IQ, drunken *****y white trashy hicks, but they were nice people... just not people I would "hang with")...

So I went into the bathroon, his wife started talking to me like I was her best friend, she took my hand, kissed it, started talking on and on like some drunken crazy woman. I explained that her husband sent me in there to look for her because he was worried b/c she was gone for some time and she should come out and not sit in the bathroom all by herself.

At that point she began to tell me of her problems, and she started to crying. She was really, really drunk, I sat in that bathroom and I held her hand and I just let her talk and cry even though it was annoying and I wanted to be out with my friends having a good time. I just felt so bad she was so sad, so an hour later my husband comes in and tries to get me out of there, later 2 more of my friends come in and try, then a different friend, all giving me outs to leave this mess.

But I felt bad, and I felt like it was rude to leave her, even though it was rude of her to dumb all her problems on some stranger and ruin my evening. I stayed with this woman in the bathroom for 2 and a half hours.

Then... she started to puike. So I held her hair back while she yacked and I got her water, and wet towels and helped her clean up.

It was terrible, my whole night was ruined and I hated every min of it, but I felt like it was the right thing to do so I stayed with her and then got her husband and told him to take her home and that she needs something to eat like bread. Meanwhile, all my friends were, like "what they hell are you doing? You don't even know her? Why? You are too nice....."

I tend to do things like that all the time. I also get used a lot and people take advantage of my kindness.

Debs, yes, I gravitate to men more. I relate to them more and feel more comfortable around them. Woman tend to be mean to me, catty and hurtful. I can't tell you how many times in the office I think that someone is my friend but they are spreading hateful untrue rumors behind my back or trying to get me in trouble. Countless times, never had this problem with a man I worked with. With our friends (me and my husbands) I am usually closer to the male rather than the female, generally get along better with, joke around better with, etc. I have more female friends than male, because it's not appropriate for me to be hanging around guys that are not my husband. Ya know? It's not that I don't think platonic relationships are possible, I have a guy friend I am very, very close to, but he's my husband's friend too, and it's rare I hang out with out my husband, or with out our group of friends. I generally like men more though, woman are cruel, jealous creatures and I have a hard time understanding them. Men are not as manipulative in my expierence.
I don't gravitate towards men for "attention" though. Although I like to look as good as I possiblely can, I get scared, uncomfortable, or embarrassed when I am complimented or when men flirt with me. I instantly become distant.

bunny,

I think what you did was a kind and generous act that will be payed forward to you when you least expect it. Positive energy has a way of coming back to you. But, from a lot of your post's I do believe you could possibly suffer from the "Used syndrome" remember set your limits and do not overstep the bounds and do not let anyone push you into something that makes you uncomfortable. You could have very politly said "Aw your sick let me get your husband" and left with a clear conscious.

I used to be a lot like you describe yourself. Kids changed that in a hurry and the fact that I have learned to love and respect myself for who I am on the inside and not the outside. I'm getting old and gravity is starting to take over lol but, I'm still nice and try to treat everyone the way I would want to be treated.

I feel you do not give your self enough credit when you mention that you believe your beauty is all you have to offer. I beg to differ you sound like an intelligent, thoughtful, kind and loving person. It's too bad others see in us what we so desparatly want to see ourselves.

Hugs and remember to show kindness to yourself.

Nucking Futs, you really made my day, that was the nicest and best advise I've received in a long time. Thank you so much.
It is hard for me to say no to anyone. Even the simplest things like smokeing in my car, I do not smoke so it's wouldn't be rude if I told them no when they asked if they could smoke in my care but for some reason I just tell them to go ahead.
I think a lot of that sort of thing adds to my anxiety, I never yell at anyone, I never express negative thoughts or feelings even when I am being wronged, and all the while as I internalize the stress and anger is ravages my body, I am often sick to my stomach or my hearts pounds and my chest tightens up and I then when I think I'm about to freak out and lose it, I just become numb. It's no wonder it is so hard for me not to abuse substances. I have found myself many times looking at my wine bottles, wanting to open one and drink by myself after a rough day at work. Or worse, wanting to inflick pain, wanting to punch/kick/ or beat the crap out of something (and I'm such a pathetic loser that after I beat on a pillow, I find myself feeling sad, and sorry for the pillow as though it is some kind of animate object?.... FREAK!)
I know that I am weak, but it's so hard to stand up for myself. I feel like I'm being a beeotch, and it I hate to come across that way. I feel like because I tend to be reservered in many situations that I come across that way anyway and it really bothers me.
Thanks again for your kind words, it means a lot, I will try to have more courage.
XOXO, Bunny

Smoking in your car...I smoke but do not allow it in my vehicle nor in my home (I have young children...just because I choose to kill myself does not mean they should be forced to suffer my addiction). The kindest form of communication on your stand I've found is to post a little note stating "No Smoking"...I have one on both of my doors to the house and have a small one posted on the passenger side dashboard. I've found they don't ask and I don't have to say NO. :D

As for being a freak about your feelings after an episode of pillow punching. I used to do this myself and with age comes sad knowledge that I wasn't sad for the pillow but sad for myself. For my inability to stand up for myself and defend my basic human rights, for my inability to handle a rough day at work. For the inability to just say NO!!! I didn't hate those around me but more myself for lacking the courage to stand up for myself. It's a long and slow battle that can only be fought within yourself and many times those around you do not like the changes because they can no longer manipulate you at will. I would start analyzing situations that leave you wanting to punch/kick and scream and figure out how you could have handled the situation without feeling like a witch or feeling abused. For instance--the bar scene you described earlier. There is no reason why you couldn't have checked on that man's wife but there is no reason why you had to stay with her and hold her hair and miss out on being with your husband and friends. He's married to her not you and you know what they say "In sickness and health" so you could have told her OOO you poor dear let me help you and went and got her husband...that way she has assistance and you have a clear conscious that she is not going to drown herself in the toilet.

I'd advise you to start learning constructive ways to stand up for yourself and say no. Or your going to end up like me an uptight, ulcer ridden, high blood pressured old biddy (lol OK I'm only 31 but there are days I feel older). There is nothing wrong for wanting others to like you...there is something wrong with doing their bidding and setting yourself aside all the time. There is nothing wrong with avioding confrontation but there is something wrong with letting other take advantage of your kindness. Your a good woman bunny I just have a feeling that emphasis has put on your beauty instead of your inner beauty which really stands out in your posts.

Please, for your sanity and physical health start searching out new ways to say NO that leaves your conscious free of guilt. For instance...I'd rather not go out tonight, I'm very tired. That makes me uncomfortable. I understand that your angry with me and I wish you'd come to me instead of to others. Sometimes, it's just a communication gap and if you open the line issue's can be resolved without so much stress. But, do be prepared to hear things you don't want to hear and be ready to analyze what is said there could be some point of truth to an issue. Most importantly remember your human with thoughts of your own, feelings and rights. You do not have to like everyone sometimes it's better just to simply acknowledge to a person I just don't like you and don't really want to be around you. Alway's be honest with yourself first you deserve it.

Big hugs,
Cherity

You are really an incredible person Cherity, you have so much wisdom for only being 31-years-old. You should be a theripist or write a self-help book, really, that is all such good and logical advice. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me, you seem like such a wonderful and compassionate person.

My real name is Rachel by the way, but I go by Bunny in real life as well (or Rachie, Rachel is too formal and I don't feel like it suites me, never liked it, and even thought about changeing my name legally to Bunny..... lol! I know it's kind of silly, next thing you know I will want to be known as a symbol right?)

(also, funny you should mention you are 31, a best friend just turned 31 yesterday, and my husband turns 31 on the 24th of this month, and my anniversary is on the 31st of this month...Lucky numba' 31!!... to bad gambleing is illegal in Utah)

geez bunny! you certainly do need to assert yourself. it seems that the only choice for you..is to not say anything at all and then slowly go crazy by torturing yourself..or just blow up on ppl? there is a middle ground. you need to find that. otherwise you could end up in places you don't want to be in - emotionally.
and just so you know, i know you take serious care to look a certain way- all that stress that you absorb from work and letting ppl run all over you?
guess what?
it ages you.
yup.
i aint lyin.
stress can make you die faster age faster and be bitter faster.
remember: stress= bad skin +wrinkles..
soooo
try to figures something out.
do you see a therapist? that is immensely helpful. the thing is only you have control of how you choose to live your life.

No, I am not seeing a therapist. The physcian that is perscribeing me meds for ADD and trying to figure out what to give me for anxiety, wants me to see one but I haven't looked into it yet. I've had bad expierences with therapists in the past. My mother sent me to a couple during high school but I felt patronized, like they assumed from a small conversation (where they did most of the talking) they could quickly analize who I was and what what the problem was, all of them quickly wrote a me a Rx for Prozac after the first session although I tried to explain I was not depressed. This same course of events happened with 4 different theripists. I told my mother that it didn't feel right, I didn't feel understood or a connection with them, I didn't feel like they were even listening, but quick to throw me in a catagory, and even quicker to throw me on prozac. So I refused to go anymore. Then as an adult, here in Utah, a couple years ago, I went to a theripst as well, because we were such radically different people, and this particual gentlement who was obviously very Mormon (the CTR ring gave it away), though that because that I drank socially every month or couple months at party's, that this was substance abuse, since due to his religious feelings, alcohol was wrong so of course he would feel this way. There were too many issues that came up where I disagreed with him and it just wasn't working out, he also, tried to but me on Prozac after the second session..... At this point I was discusted with the mental health profession from all the prescribtion happiness and what seemed to me un-open minded people I had come into contact with.
I also have a Physcologist in the family, and knowing him personally, he is more crazy than most of his patients. He is also very pompous, and he seems to act like he knew everything and had a bad ego and superiority complex. I could tell that he looked down on me (when he comes to visit) and he had anilized me, I can tell what he thinks of me, is a very inacurate perception, for I can tell from they way he speaks with me. I also didn't like how he underminded my intelligence, spoke to as if I were stupid or unable of understanding. Again patronizeing.
I am uneasy about seeking out a theripist but I know that I need a non-bias person to vent my frustrations to, to help provide a voice of reason, or maybe help me look at it from way I had not previously though of.

lol! Good suggestions, think of wrinkles!

geez louise, you're therapy experiences are horrible....i wouldn't make such a big deal about thinking that other ppl are undermining your intelligence...thats their business. it hurts but you can only prove through living that you're not a dunce.
it seems like you're talking about psychiatrists..they're the only ones that can prescribe meds. my therapist, a psychologist, is excellent. i've been seeing him for two years. he's a total gem. i never thought i would prefer a male therapist, and he's super overweight, he's in his 50's...but i LOVE him to death. he is my mentor. we have an excellent relationship and when i go to his office i know that i can speak as rapidly as i need to ( i speak very fast apparently. i wouldnt know this unless all the other ppl tell me which they have! LOL) cuss as much as is customary for me to- and vent if i have to and its a great relief. plus he has excellent observations and he's highly intelligent.
he doens't kiss my ssa..either.
anyway
my psychiatrist is exactly how you describe your docs which is why i ask. she sees me every few months..peers at her little notes..we only do half an hour..and she's saying "have you considered that you might have bipolar disorder?" NO. i'm aware of what that is. i work w/ a couple of women that are bipolar and that is another universe. i don't spend tons of money in a few days and the recoil from the world and sleep at work w/ my head on my desk. compared to them, adhd is a walk in the park.
anyway my point is that all psychiatrists are like that. they went to medical school. they think anything you say is a symptom. whats so funny about those kind of docs...i know what they're aiming at every time they ask me a stupid question like..."do you have manic episodes...for days?" duh.
no!
i'm a rapid speaking person 24 hrs of the day.

I'm happy to hear that you have such a wonderful theripist. That is so cool! I need it give it another try again. I think that I've matured a lot since the last time I tried it out, so maybe it was my perception or attitude that was making it difficult. I think I am more willing and open minded, more open to constructive critizisum as I get older, I should give it another go.
I use to have a big problem with pride in that I didn't want anyone to think anything was "wrong with me", or that I needed help, I tried hard to maintain an image of a very together and capable person. Now I accept myself more, and see that putting up a front and never asking for helps gets me in over my head and creates more trouble in the long wrong.

I don't really procrastinate, but I certainly don't obsess and I'm a very girly type. I have very long hair that's dark [below waist], so a simple wash and condition leaves it shiny and swinging on it's own. One sweep with the brush and it looks very groomed, or twisted all in 2 seconds and clipped looks sophisticated. No big job:D

Make-up is a not every day thing, and if I do wear it, it's a simple a la naturale` look; perhaps some red lipstick in Winter. My husband says I have beautiful skin, and it is good, so I tend to let nature do her work.

I use soap to wash my face:D

Mild moisturizer morning and night.

Nails once a week in a HARD polish that lasts. [procrastination against doing it more than once a week]

Hair removal aprrox weekly....that's it......ohhhhh, except I love perfume ;)

I agree with f_wcomboadhd, stress ages a person. Great advice, and advice my Granma gave me. I don't worry about aging, so I refuse to buy into the fake world of "beauty" products galore.:D

I dress simply, but elegantly....no jeans for me except on rare ocassions.

I think I have done this by rote that I don't even think of it as a beauty routine. I really don't care!

I don't really procrastinate either..........because most often which is I am actually only going to school. The dressings here is very casual like everywhere you see people in jeans and tees. That is what my whole wardrope is about. Stress makes a person age, and i think* because i don really control my stress i tend to age pretty fast. I think* and i am worried so i take vitamin Cs and Es and whatever whenever i can afford to buy. I am also into facial masks sometimes if i am free. when it was started out, I like to iron my tee and jeans even though it doesn't seem very crumpled....... but not really lately coz didn't have time. As for make-up used to do it, but when i started taking school seriously and having to get up every 5am mostly,......i just realized i haven't got time to make-up, so a simple one with foundation and eyebrows will do. Not too much coz i think it will depleate my purpose of going to sch to study and not attending a fashion show, and beside my skills isn't good at make-up. And as for nails, haven tried manicure or pedicure before, gonna try that maybe next time. I cut them every week......sometimes using the transparent nail polish depends.

i never did post on my actual beauty procrastination or not! not suprising since its my forte to digress and get off track..
its feast or famine with me as it is with so many other things. i had my hair short for almost ten years from 18 to about 27ish..when i was 25 and getting married i decided to grow my hair out a bit b/c of the style that i wanted-upswept with roses in it..when i was in my early twenties i was a lithe wisp of a woman and short hair was very becoming.
now as a woman and a mother, i have curves now, and i like longer hair for the first time in my life. when i started growing it out i was suprised at how much i liked it. but after having short time for soooo long i was at a loss at what to do with it and still am. my stylist and everyone that cuts my hair has always said that i have perfect hair. its great to them b/c i have fine strands but they're extremely healthy and silky but i have SUPER thick hair. usually takes three people to blowdry my hair at the salon at the same time. so the one thing i'm really bad about procrastinating about is getting my hair cut! LOL..the guy that does my hair -i won't stop seeing him until he retires-he's been doing hair for over 20 yrs and he is a wizard with a razor so i just have to suck up my almost 2 hr drive to get to him. which contributes to my procrastination.
nail polish? what nail polish? i hate nails! LOL, sorry ladies, i know that its more than one woman's fancy to have elongated nails but mine are clipped as short as possible and filed and buffed. and i love them that way. my hands are one of my best features.
makeup-used to wear it almost every day and every single time i was in public b/c i felt naked without it. i have never done the cakey tons o' makeup piled up on my face but i'm big fan of lipstick...nowadays since i work in an enviroment where i'm not seen by the public-literally the whole day b/c i work in a locked suite (callcenter) i don't even bother with makeup. plus i live in texas. if you want to wear makeup here-prepare to wash and reapply three times a day! humidity in houston is like punishment for anyone who doesn't like heat. i'm find w/ it but most suffer. my point? i've grown accustomed to have a naked face and i've endeavored to become this way. i am a serious die hard feminist. does that mean i've burned my bra and i'm hairy legged and ugly? hell no. but i do see how if one is enamored of painting one's face every day and this is customary-how one would get stuck into doing it forever and then feel obligated or naked otherwise. i don't want to be a slave to makeup. the older you get the less makeup you should be wearing anyway b/c the makeup settles into creases and wrinkles and isn't flattering b/c of the dryness of older skin. i don't look old, not nearly -most ppl still think i'm in my mid twenties- but i also don't want to waste these years with make up on my face. LOL i do wear it when i go out to dinner or whatever or if i feel like it. and thats the way i like it. just whenever i WANT to vs. always.
whats so funny - i had worn makeup in a photograph -going to a company party- and some of my coworkers had seen the pic and said "who is this? who is this pretty young lady?" LOLLL (that was a friend of mine, she's in her fifties and she didn't recognize me at all!)
so its just fun as far as i'm concerned.
i like spf. and i'm considering buying driving gloves. yes i said it. i don't want my hands to be superwrinkled when i'm 50...that is a serious vanity of mine. i won't even deny it. ppl have always loved my hands.
i put lotion on religiously. talk about high maintenance! LOL..
i'm very basic but don't underestimate me kind of girl. if you think i'm being super understated then you haven't seen my in my leather studded highheels and little black dress all coiffed up!
so i feel 'uneven' about what i'm like as far as beauty is concerned..i'm very natural but i can definitely pull off modern chic with my own taste.
i do procrastinate though yes i do. thats another reason why everything i'm saying works out so well. just take care of the basics and i'm good to go.
my BIGGEST complaint of myself is the pedicure. i'm sooo lazy about doing that. when i bathe i'll do the pumice thing and soaking my feet and taking care of that..but you just have to go get pedicures regularly and i'm so damn ed lazy about it!
its a torture to drag me to a salon.
i do like getting my legs et al waxed..and my eyebrows.

I find that I don't ever have time to do what i want with my hair or my outfit in the morn. I always mean to get up in time, but for whatever reason it just dones't happen. I change my hairstyle just about evertime i get it cut. Which is about every 2 months or so. I don't do makeup at all. Can't stand the stuff!

i tend to be kind of apathetic towards beauty matters. i go through brief periods where i'll make an effort to look nice, but normally it is not very high on my list of priorities.

I have good intentions regarding beauty matters, I will buy certain things like a mask, toner, that kind of stuff . I do it for a couple days and then I just cant stick to it. So I have all of these products that never get used. I marvel at friends who do this whole routine every night! I cant get a handle on it. The most I do is put moisturizer on my face after my shower. It is maddening to me, I would like some constistancy somewhere:o

i wash my face, brush my teeth morning and night. I would rather not stop for makeup, but if i must, I will.

As far as brushing my teeth. I get bored and forget which teeth ive done and which ones i did't ... Brushing my teeth is, in fact, one of the most boring activities ever. Just the other day, I was trying to devise a strategy to enhance this experience so that it is tolerable. no ideas...if anyone has a sugestion, well, i am listening.

And the other thing...i wait much too long to get my hair cut. The other night i went out (hee hee---let myself out) so I cut my own hair. D$%#^&*^%$# why did I do that? I was so sure that i would do such a good job, too. but nooooo. I would like to add red highlights to my head. think I should wait for that one?

I dont really have any special beauty treatment. I get up in the morning, take a shower , wash my face with a special stuff, put a moisterizer, same thing at night. And that is it for me. I dont blow dry my hair, since i have short natural curly hair ( i gave up trying to straighten them). And i dont wear make up. Only on very special occasion...then i get the whole thing going , make up, hair do ect. Put some music on and i really enjoy doing it. But i could never do it on a regular bases.

oh, digitle, i love you glasses. looks like you are set to go. is that you now or then...before and after? or maybe your daughter?

i am just being silly , you know. (i hope you know)

I don't procrastinate.....I enjoy getting all dressed up when that's called for. But on an everyday basis I don't think there's much to it.

1. Teeth brushed at least twice a day, which I cannot stand doing as I too find it completely, utterly boring...almost as bad as realizing you have to stop what you're in the middle of and go to the bathroom...

2. Moisturizer morning and night

3. Chanel No. 5 applied (only perfume on the planet)

4. Hair brushed. If I'm going anywhere I blow dry and use an air curling thingy just for a little volume....easy as heck and takes maybe 30 seconds. Long hair is easier than short I have discovered.

5. Makeup use is dependent upon where I might be headed. Most months of the year have a tan anyhow so it's not a big deal. Don't mind it, but don't use it if not needed. Lipstick's my favorite.

6. If working at home, faded jeans, black belt, and a thin-strapped tank top is my usual outfit. When it's cold I throw something over it, or wear long sleeves...but I don't like long sleeves all that much.

As for the rest of it....I wash my face with Dove...used all the expensive stuff before and found no difference. I like a good french manicure but don't stress when I can't get one right away...light colored polish tides me over.

Clothing....I have a ton of it. I have a bit of a fetish for quality clothing. Don't like things that are cheap and fall apart...cause I've had the same bohemianly/elegant style forever regardless of the current fad. I don't have a weight issue so everything I've ever bought still fits...thank god.

Shoes....well, that was another thread....which could have gone on forever.

Oh, just added some red highlights to my hair...it's generally blonde in the summers....beach girl, here...what other life is there?

free, r u sure u got adhd?

I had trouble reading your post let alone following your grooming steps. but you sound put togehter, there, girl. ;) and that is good.



I just wonder if the person who invented dental floss knows about adhd?? :eek:

oh man, am i ever!!!! and don't i wish i didn't, too!!!!!

um...what are you saying...

You mean sweats aren't appropriate for all occasions??!!?? LOL

My beauty problems are that I am constitutionally unable to match anything and that I find nice clothing uncomfortable. I generally have to take someone shopping with me and they tell me what looks good. I'd still be 15 years behind in fashion if it wasnt for that. I have 3 pairs of shoes bc I hate shoe shopping. I'll definitley never be a fashion plate!

As for makeup, well, I have to conceal those dark undereye circles I always have from my insomnia, dont I? Guess I'm just not into makeup. Eeee!

oh, digitle, i love you glasses. looks like you are set to go. is that you now or then...before and after? or maybe your daughter?

i am just being silly , you know. (i hope you know)
That is my daughter.... a few yrs ago. She was doing a little show for us.

I know you are being silly...and i enjoy every minute of it LOL

your daughter must have been adorable then and I bet now she is a growing beauty. hugs to your sweetie...

yes, tinkerbelle, I understand how uncomfortable clothing can be, but what other alternative do we have... yikes. If I had my choice, id be wearing sweats out and pj's in and for sleep nothing. My daughter took me shopping last week because I was looking for jeans.--my others, from Ann Taylor, are 6 years old and I love em but you know it was time---all I could find were hip huggers. And my darling insists that this is the thing. um, hello, hip huggers are not comfortable. (and besides they don't stay up--but daughter tells me to wear a belt %$#) So I wear them out and I must admit **blush-blush** that they don't look half bad (hee hee) but I hate them.
probably a guy designed these things.

yes, tinkerbelle, I understand how uncomfortable clothing can be, but what other alternative do we have... yikes. If I had my choice, id be wearing sweats out and pj's in and for sleep nothing. My daughter took me shopping last week because I was looking for jeans.--my others, from Ann Taylor, are 6 years old and I love em but you know it was time---all I could find were hip huggers. And my darling insists that this is the thing. um, hello, hip huggers are not comfortable. (and besides they don't stay up--but daughter tells me to wear a belt %$#) So I wear them out and I must admit **blush-blush** that they don't look half bad (hee hee) but I hate them.
probably a guy designed these things.
What are hip huggers?

jeans that do not come up to the waist but rather sit there on the hips. where have you been? lol ( i ask very sweetly and gently:) ) guess you don't have a daughter who is at the height of fashion yet---but just wait--- or it must be nature that is rubbing off on the both of us. me at the beach and you in the woods. we are sorta out of the loop. hee hee haaaa

I'm old and tired well that's how I feel lately anyways confused and bewildered by those around me...I give up, shower, brush my hair and teeth and your lucky to get me out of my jammies.

i used to wear toenail polish, but i cant be bothered to put it on, and i have never liked fingernail polish - i don tlike having someting bright and silly on my fingers. and i would find it very distracting.

i get my hair CUT, and thats it. i just put it up in a ponytail. i dont do anything with it, ever. i dont wear it "out" because it doesnt look good. i might like to get some sort of a new 'hairstyle' but i just have no idea whati want and i dont have time to waste on thinking about that sort of thing.

jeans that do not come up to the waist but rather sit there on the hips. where have you been? lol ( i ask very sweetly and gently:) ) guess you don't have a daughter who is at the height of fashion yet---but just wait--- or it must be nature that is rubbing off on the both of us. me at the beach and you in the woods. we are sorta out of the loop. hee hee haaaa
LOL deep.....
I never heard that expression in english...i usually buy in french lol.
I do where hip huggers then LOL...not the low low ones...but the ones thar just sits on the hips. And i look pretty dang good in them too :)

I used to love hip huggers, til my c section! Now its like there's this blob 'o' belly that hangs over the front of the waistband. Ugh!

sweats, sweats, sweats all the way!!! ;)

Okay here is a big thing I dont have kids....and here is the but....I use to take care of everyone elses kids. IN HOME CHILDCARE. Even then and to the present, I make sure I have a shower. That is a must. When I was a teen I had a dance teacher ( God bless her..You were the best Gina) that took me under her wing and was like a MOM to me. She told be when she felt sick or lazy she would make sure she put on a little makeup even if it was just lipstick. It made her feel better. Ya know what it does I feel more complete.

As for the products I am a new productaholic. I take my shower or bath before I go to bed. I am not a morning person and I like to relax before going to bed or when in college do homework. When you look good you usually feel better. I do care how I look no matter where I am going even if it to visit the old lady down stairs form me.


I think it has to be with how I was raised in the sixties and seventies. The moral and values were different. I also had many good role models in my life when my mothere could not be there for me emotional. I am not saying anyone here does not have moral and values, I was just raised in a different time, life was simple, there were no computer, we wrote cursive letters by hand. Does anyone write thankyou letters? Not type but write them. WEll just my thoughts. auntchris

I love reading this thread! I am 40 and don't really take care of myself anymore. My husband likes the natural look and that is a good thing. A little blush and away I go. I wear glasses so don't worry about my eyes. I think the glasses kind of mask my eyes so I don't have to worry about mascara or liner. Plus if I wore mascara that means I have to take it off - ugggggg - Hate cleaning my face at night.

I haven't had my hair cut in about 6 months and dye it with a home kit once in a while to cover my grey. It usually looks pretty dull and drab. I think I look better with short hair but then I would have to get regular haircuts and I hate that.

I used to be so polished and pulled together before I got married and had my three kids. I had shoes, belts and purses that matched. That was back int he 80's when pumps were the style and I had them in every color. I took the time to do my hair and makeup. Makeup has always been sparse, but I used to do some at least. I have never been one to primp for long and 5-10 minutes is about all it takes me for everthing from clothes, hair to makeup.

I used to LOVE thongs (the butt floss kind) when I was in my late teens and early 20's. Yes - I wore them 25 years ago when they were not even in style. And yes, I really did like them. I wore my Jordache jeans painted on my body and I didn't want panty lines. Oh - how I remember the tight jeans - I would lie down on the bed to zip them up and not sit down for hours so my jeans didn't wrinkle. Do young girls worry about tight jeans these days? With the low rise I would guess they have to be tight or else they will be falling off.

I also buy the products and they sit..... Just yesterday I came home with two new lines of hair care products. I couldn't decide on which to buy so I bought both lines. I did follow through with my promise to through out some old stuff.

My wardrobe consists of jeans and whatever shirt looked cute as I was walking by at either Target or Walmart. I buy mostly basic v-neck tshirts. So that is pretty easy. In the winter it gets tougher because a tshirt is too chilly for me.

In my head, I am absolutely that well put together woman who has perfect skin and the handbag to match the shoes... In reality, I appear to be more of the natural type. I try to take very good care of my skin. After all, I could have the best make-up money can buy and if my skin isn't at it's best, it really wont matter. I do arch my brows and wear make up every day. I really enjoy wearing jewelry and try to keep my choices sophistocated. I have a wardrobe full of nice clothes and too many purses to count. I have even converted my linen closet to toiletry space.

All of that sounds great, huh? Problem is...I don't take time to bother with any of it. I do my make up in five minutes achieving the "the girl next door" image easily. I wear the same jewelry every day and end up wearing the same tried and true outfits over and over.

It is only when I run into an old friend or feel the need to assert my professionalism that it occurs to me that my outside doesn't reflect my inside. It is just so easy to do the same thing every day and fall into a routine. (Hmmm...I just realized that I DO have some sort of routine in my life! I have always wanted to be able to stick to a routine!) It isn't that I don't have time to make my outside match my inside. It is just that in the morning, after a drug induced sleep, hitting the snooze just one more time is so much more important than anything else.

Did you just write about my life? Lots of clothes, shoes, make-up, etc...But it's so easy to wear the tried & true. Problem is that I'm a hairstylist & I'm supposed to be up on the "latest trends". I wear the low rise, & some funky attitude t-shirts, but that's about as trendy as I get.

T-shirt and jeans. No make-up. Very long hair, but always up in a ponytail.

The make-up thing is due to never being able to find the right skin care product, cleansing and moisturizing, for instance. I can not get rid of the millions of tiny black-heads that riddle my nose and cheeks, and I am never without at least one large, brain tumor-sized pimple somewhere on my face. Make-up just exacerbates the problem. I have tried so many different products through out my life, and I have not found that one magic bullet yet. But I am still trying. I dont really want to wear make-up, I just want to look clean, fresh, and maybe somewhat youthful.

HEY MAMA-- you & I would prob'ly be great friends out in the world--I too have long hair ( I wnt to donate it to LOCKS OF LOVE) & LIVE in jeans & t-shirts!!!


I LOVE the oil of olay daily scrub!!! not too oily or drying!!

Try a professional facial for those little black-heads-- if you go to a beauty school it's really cheap & usually takes longer than a salon one cuz the tech are just learning & want to do everything exactly right!!

my boyfriend complains about this to me. generally its "why dont you wear make up?"
i say i just dont wear it on a normal day.. why the h*ll should i?! i just dont. its not that i WONT, its just thati dont see a fit reason to.

one time i did put on make up and he said "oh, youre wearing make up. you look better"
(i dont know... his choice of words wasnt great there!!)

then he will go on to say "why dont you wear make up? my sister wears make up! she wears make up every day! she never leaves the house with out it on! other girls i know wear make up. why dont you wear make up?"
its agravating and makes me feel uncomfortable.

sometimes i TRY to wear make up. i went for an interview at my prac school the other day. i had to dress nice of course. i wore a black skirt and an orange shirt. i tried on 3 different lipsticks, and wiped each one off. i dont think much goes with orange anyway!

mascara makes my eyes itch so badly, during wearing it, and also the next morning. i hate it. i dont my eye colour.

i find that if i put on a nice colour lipstick, that it SEEMS like im wearing complete make up. thast kind of handy - but i always fear someone will "catch me out" haha. but that day james said "oh you look better" i was actually only wearing lipstick, and cover-up in certain places. hahaha.

i dont know abotu hair. i just brush it in the morning, and put it up. somtimes it requires bobby pins, to keep it from being too messy.

i dont like it to look entirely neat though - i just doesnt suit it! sometimes i shake my head or take the blowdryer to if AFTER ive put it up, so that its a little bit more wispy..

i dont have my ears pierced. i dont intend to.

blah blah....

yeah, james expects me to be a little bit more nicely presented, made up and girly.... and i would like to be. half the time, i just dont feel comfortable. its not me? it is me to look nice, and i always INTEND to look nice. but it just doesnt happen.

:(

i also try to dress nicely and match my clothes and stuff. it just doenst turn out that way. sometimes it works.

i have a lot of clothes, butsometimes.. a lot.. i stress out and think "i have nothing to wear..." cause i just suddenly dont like anything i have.

but i hate shopping, and dont have the money to buy lots of cloehs. and i HATE these 'fashionable' clothes currently, all the little half jacket stuff, wearing 10 different accessories such as a cross over, AND a belt, AND this, AND that, and three shirts, and a skirt, and a dangly thing hanging off the shirt, and a scarf,..... i just want to put on a shirt/top and pants or a skirt and have it over with! its so stupid. these people look like theyre wearing some sort of shackled straight jacket!

i look around the shops and dont like ANY of the clothes.

plus i hate the culture of "lets all wear the exact same outfit but in a different colour. yeah. we're so cool". i am NOT everyone else (apart from that i dont like these clothes that are out right now anyway..) and im not going to wear stuff i dont like just to be like everyone else for a few months!

I used to not wear makeup very often. Then about 2 years ago I started working in a salon. Needless to say it became part of my job requirement. My skin isn't too bad, so I realized I can get away with tinted moisturizer so my natural cheek rosiness shows. (If I put foundation on I have to wear blush) Somehow I have grown to enjoy the time I spend before work putting my eye makeup on and doing my hair.

As far as clothes go, I'm obsessed with shopping. (Mostly because I hate doing laundry and now I have piles going on that need dry cleaning) Lots of my friends are in the fashion industry so I try to keep up with the times.

This will probably all have to become a distant priority when I have kids, but I'm enjoying having this time to be fabulous in public and a mess behind closed doors!

Hi. THis is a great topic that I have just now come across. Boy what a fun thing for women to talk about.

Any group of women from any walk of life ...if you get together the hair subject comes up! What is it about hair??

One my assets is my hair, but it can really get ragged looking if I don't keep it, because the cut is layered.
So in order to keep myself on top of things, I make sure to keep a running scheduled appointment to the beauty parlor. What..........don't you call it the beauty parlor?

I heard Dianne Keaton on a talk show one time who made the statement that shoes were like p****es for women. That is a little over the top for what I am suggesting, I just thought it was funny.......

but shoes are ..........I don't think I'd better say anything else. An ADD moment?


But shoes do complete an outfit and make me feel "dressed".

As far as procrastinating goes, my biggest thing is shopping for makeup.
I get so confused when I go to the counter and then when I get home the stuff just isn't me.
And once you open the bottle, that's it......you've wasted your money, and that stuff ain't cheap!

I've always been more a tomboy than anything, never liking dresses or 'fancy things' but I do make a half hearted effort to keep my nails looking decent. I found Sally Hansen's Age Correct Growth Treatment for nails a godsend in keeping my nails from cracking off my hands :eek:

I haven't had 'real' haircut in over 20 years, trimming it myself when the ends get too uneven. I do get into moods where I do my nails with real polish & color my hair (once you start, you can't stop :rolleyes: ) but those are rare things for me anymore.

As far as clothes go, I live in sweats, jeans, T shirts & flannels. I can't imagine working in a place like an office where I'd have to wear a dress or someting similiar every day :(