I have came to the conclusion that I cant be in a relationship with a girl because I have no trust, but I dont know if not having trust is as much of an issue as just myself thinking bad stuff all the time. I was in a relationship for 6 months, surprisingly with someone whom was diagnosed with Bipolar (severely) 10 years ago. I dreamt up images in my head all the time of stuff I thought was happening, or stuff I thought she was doing until I made myself believe they were true, then I wouldnt be able to stop thinking about them really happening. I think she showed me enough that she was really happy to be in the relationship she was in, I think we loved eachother mutually the same and I think she tried and tried and tried to make it all work as hard as I did. The stuff I thought up all the time literally drove me crazy, I couldnt stop thinking about them, took early outs from work all the time, and asked and nagged and pushed her and started fights with her regularly to find out if they were true. I dont think she had anything to hide from me, being Bipolar she kept a daily journal, but she told me her passwords to everything she used online, and reassured me best she could that what I thought up was false. The difficult part of all this happened recently, I cant get over this person I think about her daily, I think about what she is doing, I think about her naked, I think about when we had sex. The worse part is I have no proof, or concrete facts and I am accusing my best friend on a daily basis that he is screwing her and seeing her regularly now, that they are both lieing to me and I recently threatened my friend I would do something drastic if I found out, and that I would not stop till I did. He reasures me nothing is going on, and puts up with it daily. I sit and cry from the facts and pictures and scenerios I vision of them together. I break into her MSN, Hotmail and Yahoo accounts, make her very agitated and as I was told, since I lost the feeling of control I am now going crazy. People I talk to tell me I show the symptoms of OCD. Small things do take over my life, and worry me and this is the second time around now I have did the exact same things from a breakup, a breakup that my behavior caused. I cant really think of any compulsive traits I may have, I do make sure the shirts in my closet are straight, I adjust my shirt I am wearing all the time, go over board so my clothes dont get wrinkled and have the same routine when I shower everyday, but from just starting to read on this, I dont seem to demonstrate any signs or symptoms. Is it just the way I am suppose to feel? And the way I am suppose to act to push someone away????

hmmmmm?

well, i suffer from this also, the exact same thing, luckily somehow i dont know how but my boyfriend puts up with it, he knows what im like, i dont know for how long he can tho?i'v got alot better since thinking positivly, i was bad when i was depressed and anxious now those two are out the way and so's the constant what ifs? and negative story making in my head!

i think i may also have slight OCD constant cleaning of the kitchen, wiping, pulling out eyelashes(yuk, i know, how embarrisingly grose) all sorts of small things but i also think thsi behaviour you possess could be to do with ADD, thinking into something too much and making up stories in your head, sort of like daydreaming them up, the worst situation stories that are not true but youve made it up so well in your head you start believeing it yourself! i think this could be ocd obsessive thoughts, more on the thoughts than the physical actions maybe?

im not sure tho i just wanted to tell you your not the only one i'v been in your shoes, lol i am in your shoes i still do it now to an extent!

i just hope that you start thinking a bit more positivly lol that sounds impossible to you at the moment but it will get easier and you will stop the mis trust and making up stories!