question:

1. When you get in depressed moods dose it make your ADD worse and you feel like your running in circles so to speak?

2. For those on strattara, I am on a low dose i know but dose it ware off? I mean if I don't take my meds by at least 5:00 I feel like it wares off and I am the most misrible person.

3. When your family dosn't quite understand and they pourpously try to make you feel in adiquite what do you do?

4. Do you remember any episodes you have? LAst night I forgot to take my meds and I didn't take it till late last night but between 6 and 10 is all a blur to me. My wife said I wasn't very nice. :(

Please help..
Thank you

self esteem is pretty low today, really I should be used to it by now.

Dsherman~

Man, I'm sad that today's been a low day for you so far.... Right now, I can tell you that you are not alone; there is a roller coaster we all ride...and with each comorbid condition (i.e., depression (got it), anxiety (got it), Tourettes, pick your diagnosis...) the coaster gets crazier.

I've got some articles on ADD and depression/comorbidities and ADD and dealing with family relationships...keep your eye on this thread...be back soon.

Most importantly, hang in there! Might not seem like it now, but this, too, shall pass.... I know that 'cause I've been where you are...past tense. :)

:D
smoo

My ADHD is effected greatly by my mood swings, but when I find myself getting into really bad spats I go into chanting and I focus on the chant and it helps...as long as I can stay focused on the words. Your Not alone because recently my depression reached an all time low and I actually scared my sister so badly that she hid all the knives from me in her house cause she thought I was going to hurt myself worse...(different story there) I was taking meds that night but had a very nasty mixture with Booze(self destructive behavior:eek: ) but I have those up and down roller coasters (except not so severe as tht night for a long time). Things do get better...hang in der shugga.;)

question:

3. When your family dosn't quite understand and they pourpously try to make you feel in adiquite what do you do?

D~

I have a few questions about your Q #3.... Whom do you include in your use of the word "family"? Your wife only, or other members of your family as well?

Regarding the purposeful belittling to which you refer, was this happening before your diagnosis with ADHD? If so, the hurtful behavior might not have anything to do with your ADHD, per se, but may indicate the existence of a deeper (relationship?) issue.

How much does your family know about your particular ADHD, and how much have you learned about it? Have you attempted to explain to or teach your family about how the ADHD affects you specifically? Perhaps you and your family, together, have begun to learn about this?

Based on your answers to my questions, I'll be better able to pull the most applicable information from the articles I have.

In answer to your Q #1 about depression worsening ADHD symptoms, yes, it definitely can. In fact, depression is often diagnosed long before ADHD is diagnosed or even suspected (as was the case with me). However, many other things can affect your symptoms, and your symptoms can change their intensity hour-to-hour, day-to-day, or on an even more inconsistent basis. What I had to accept is that I'm definitely going to have down times/days, and that I need to identify those times for what they really are (one aspect of the nature of the beast), and trust that the down times will go away...eventually.

Regarding Q #2, I do not take Strattera, so I do not know about wearing off effects. You might consider looking into the Strattera section on the Forums. I did find an article from this year that reviews its use in adults with ADHD. I'll get back to you with what I find.

Q #4: By "episode" do you mean a sort of 'blacking out"? I have an article or two at home about "blinking" in folks with ADHD; it might shed some light. Personally, I don't experience blackouts, but then again, I may have misunderstood.

Keep hangin' in there!

:D
smooch

In regards to question 3, My wife is cool with it. She actually encouraged me to seek help. She is a teacher and has taken courses and read up on ADD and ADHD and knew that I had to seek help. She has kept me out of trouble since I met her. My mother in law Just says I am making excuses because I am a selfish person and don't care about anyone but myself :rolleyes: (ugh mother in-laws). The unfortunite part is that she lives with us because my wife's father died a few years ago. And I hear it from her every day. Every little thing she picks on "you shouldn't have lost it", "why didn't you put it somewhere you would remember it", "you need to pay more attention". Then I would get angry because I thought I did. Don't get me wrong she is a nice person and wants me to be a good father, (oh I already got the I am not a good father speech because I don't bother paying attention to my daughter). Most of my wifes brothers and sisters since most of them are teachers and counselers know more about it then me(I'm still learning) so they are cool with it also. On MY side, My father thinks I am a mental patient and that I am only trying to find thing wrong with me. They (my mom and dad)are mad at my wife for getting me help and thinks she is only trying to find fault in me. I keep trying to discuss it with my mother but she dosn't believe the condition exists and that it's all in my head and always changes the subject and will not talk to me about it or if we are on the phone only talks to me for short times and then has to go. She also feels that it makes her look bad me being DX with ADD. It's gotten to the point where they will not come down even to visit there grandaughter because of me. My parents have always been into themselves, and we never did see eye to eye on everything even before I was dx'd. so with my parents me being dx'd just added fule to the fire. There is a long story with me and my parents, too much to explain here. My wifes mom everything started as soon as she moved in. She has been dx'd with depression after her husband died so that may have something to do with it. She is also I diabetic and has bad knees. But I have the habit that I blame myself for everything even if it isn't my fault. My wife says I say I'm sorry way too often

As for question 1 I think that meeting my wife and her actually understanding me helped me pull out of depression states. I mean there were times before I met my wife where I felt like the blob on those zoloft commercials. Where I wasn't good to anyone, nobody wanted to be with me, Then when I met my wife she knew just how to handle me and it helped. In anycase I have always been on the emotional rollercoaster alot because of my parents. It was so much that I just learned to live with it. There was a time where I was so misrible that no one wanted to be around me.

for question 2 i'll check the strattara area for more info any articles would be great, I am on a really low dose so that may have something to do with it.

and last question #4 I don't know if it was a black out per se. I only remember bits and pieces. I remember being ok, I forgot to take my medicine and ba, all of a sudden something that my wife said shouldn't have bothered me got me real angry. from there I remember only little bits and pieces of the night. My wife said I wasn't nice, I wasn't yelling and screeming but just like jumping on every little thing, I took my meds somethime during that period and sometime that night started to feel better again which made me think it was the medicine. could just have been an episode.

Anyway thanks for the responses, I still have alot to learn. I am no where near the understanding of it. My wife helps me alot. On this low dose I have noticed I sleep better and I actually rest when I sleep, it used to be my mind went, and went and went, and I would wake up just as tired as I went to bed. IT was like I close my eyes then open them and it was morning, and my pokyness is a little improved(at least thats what my wife said, Ijust think it's knowledge and I try to be more aware). I have called and reconnected to people I haven't seen in years. so I guess knowledge is also power.

Howdy, D! :D

Nope, I haven't forgotten you!

I know you've seen the post about "blinking," and that's what I meant in answer to your Q #4. If you determine that "blinks" as described in that article are different from your blackout-like experiences, I recommend talking with your prescribing doc about it.

I'm still working through that article on Strattera (Q #2), but I will get back to you about what I find.

Q #3 stuff:

My mother in law Just says I am making excuses because I am a selfish person and don't care about anyone but myself .... And I hear it from her every day. Every little thing she picks on "you shouldn't have lost it", "why didn't you put it somewhere you would remember it", "you need to pay more attention". Then I would get angry because I thought I did.... My wifes mom everything started as soon as she moved in. She has been dx'd with depression after her husband died so that may have something to do with it.

Wow, man...that's a tough call with a live-in in-law who "just doesn't get it." When I deal with people like that (family or other) with whom I have to have consistent interaction, I try to remember that I cannot change them or their beliefs, I can only change how I deal with them in terms of my own emotions. It's a difficult situation to be in, I know, but all I can do is learn more and more about my ADHD; knowing why I do the things I do (or why I don't do the things I don't do) often helps me become more aware of them, and I seem better able (sometimes) to "fend off" those problematic behaviors. I agree with you that your mother-in-law's depression could have something to do with how she treats you. She's probably still in one of those 5 stages of grief. I don't believe that exonerates her from her poor (or nonexistent) consideration of what you're going through, but trying to remember that might help you to take her biting remarks more lightly...sort of her way of acting out her anger, depression, sadness, or whatever--you just happen to be an available target. (????)

On MY side, My father thinks I am a mental patient and that I am only trying to find thing wrong with me. They (my mom and dad)are mad at my wife for getting me help and thinks she is only trying to find fault in me. I keep trying to discuss it with my mother but she dosn't believe the condition exists and that it's all in my head and always changes the subject and will not talk to me about it or if we are on the phone only talks to me for short times and then has to go. She also feels that it makes her look bad me being DX with ADD. It's gotten to the point where they will not come down even to visit there grandaughter because of me. My parents have always been into themselves, and we never did see eye to eye on everything even before I was dx'd. so with my parents me being dx'd just added fule to the fire.

When an adult is diagnosed with ADHD (with or w/o comorbidities), there is always a sort of "dealing with it" process through which the adult must travel. Sari Solden wrote a book, Journeys Through ADDulthood, that discusses this process or journey--GREAT BOOK! Additionally, the friends and family members od the newly Dx'd adult have their own "dealing with it" processes, but I think their processes can sometimes be more similar to the grieving process. Sounds like your parents may still be vascillating between the anger and denial stages. It hurts to feel what appears to to be parental rejection, especially in light of the 3 of you having a difficult past.

Please do not accept for yourself the negative image you may think your mother-in-law and parents have of you. You are a treasure, here on this planet with a purpose. You're on the journey to find that purpose. It will be hard work to travel, but it will be worth it. You said you're still learning about ADHD...you're also learning about YOU! It'll take time.

I think the most important thing to remember, in addition to learning all that you can about your ADHD, is that it is vital that you keep understanding, compassionate, and supportive people around you. You and your wife are truly blessed to have each other! And your wife's brothers and sisters are an added bonus. Rely on them for strength, and soon you will find your own. Last but not least, keep in touch with the Forums! Who else has a 24-hour support group with 2,700+ members? :D

But I have the habit that I blame myself for everything even if it isn't my fault. My wife says I say I'm sorry way too often

Pssst...we ALL have a habit of doing this...usually because we grew up being blamed by others, or, in our childish naivete, blamed ourselves. It's a hard, hard habit to break. But you know about it, and knowing and admitting is half the battle. Next time you catch yourself (or your wife does, or whoever), try to remember to step back and take an objective look at the situation. Are you assuming the blame to "smooth things over"? Because it's "always" your fault? Is it truly, logically possible for the issue to be your fault, in part or in entirety? Or has there simply been some miscommunication or misunderstanding?

Whew! I do tend to get KBD (keyboard diarrhea)! LOL!

I'll get back to you on the Strattera stuff. Keep hangin' in there! :D

smoo

Thanks smooch, I always look foward to your posts, makes me feel alot better. I had a screaming argument with my mom on the phone the other night, and I have been feeling bad since. Since I was dx'd I contact old family members I haven't talked to in years. Unfortunitly my mother hasn't talked to hewr sister in over 8 years, so she had a near nervious breakdown when I told her I called her, and I got called everything under the sun. I thought by re-connecting with old family members I may be able to sort things out better and like you said find ME. But I am finding it all the harder.