View Full Version : Another relationship bites the dust...


quest51210
05-20-11, 11:28 PM
Hello i am new here. I was Dx'd back in 1994 with ADD and went off meds in 2000. Ever since then it has been one failed relationship after another. there was a time there where I was in a relationship for 5.5 years and in that time i was extremely focused and finished my Associates degree in 2009.

After that breakup and successful degree I literally fell off the map. Had a child with someone whom i had only dated for a few months and when i tried to do the "right thing" my ADD kicked in and my impulsivity ruined that relationship.

in classic form i was "single" for about two months and found this "friend" on facebook. she had been following some of my community activism for years and her family, personal, and personality traits were something i had never experienced before. very similar upbringing, culture, language, music, etc.

we hit it off, talked for 5 months before we made it official late march and exactly two months later we were broken up. she being a "psych" major uncovered my ignorance to my ADD. I had filed it in the back of my brain for so long and she tried to help and understand and ultimately compromised herself, which we all know is not good for any relationship.

i pleaded many times since the first month that i would improve my impulsivity, my mood swings, my depression, and that i would be ok as long as our spiritual side was strong. well, you guys know the routine. i was dealing with my sons mother, my super low paying job, lost my financial aid in college and was struggling to make up old "incompletes" form the previous semester as well as complete the studies i had now and "looking" for help for my ADD but was not asking the people around me for the financial or personal support i really needed.

long story short i ruined this one too and in all actuality i should have never started dating so soon. i just felt like an opportunity like this would not be present later and ignored my instinct to better myself before i hurt someone else.

so, here i am now after lurking the site for three months....

Binwooke
05-22-11, 01:52 PM
I am curious. Why did you go off the meds?

I survived 29 years without medication through various self-medicating habits and almost a constant stream of therapies. In that time I was both arrogant as well as in denial regarding my ADD. It was only recently that I overreached in my life and in doing so destabilized in a big way, nearly wrecking my marriage in the process. I sort out help, got re-confirmed that ADD was the principle contributor and was promptly Rx'd medication. Since then, I have been a totally different person. I cannot ever imagine wanting to go back to the way I was before.

TheChemicals
05-22-11, 02:24 PM
I am curious. Why did you go off the meds?

I survived 29 years without medication through various self-medicating habits and almost a constant stream of therapies. In that time I was both arrogant as well as in denial regarding my ADD. It was only recently that I overreached in my life and in doing so destabilized in a big way, nearly wrecking my marriage in the process. I sort out help, got re-confirmed that ADD was the principle contributor and was promptly Rx'd medication. Since then, I have been a totally different person. I cannot ever imagine wanting to go back to the way I was before.

lol i want to know too. I hear people wanting to get off of meds all the time- for me its hell no0- i dont want to go back to being that fuk up again.

sops
05-23-11, 12:36 AM
Hey, I'd like to know what's the impulsive thing that mess your relationship up? Coz I know mine did..

quest51210
05-23-11, 01:32 AM
I got off the meds mostly due to finances or lack thereof


impulsivity would include speaking out of turn, blurting out hurtful things and not mean them, be on the defensive all the time although i really had no issues with her bringing stuff up. etc