View Full Version : TOM SNOOZE and The TEMPLE of TUT : Prologue


mctavish23
05-23-11, 10:38 PM
DISCLAIMER :The following story represents a work of fiction.
Any resemblence between these (fictional) characters and persons
(or ET's) living or deceased,is purely coincidental.
Also,this writer is solely responsible for the contents,and NOT
the ADD FORUM owners,moderators or members.

Prologue: Tom Snooze and The Temple of TUT

This "story" represents another part of the continuing saga

of Seanceology, started in the previous 4 Part work

entitled: "The HUMPTY HIEROGLYPHICS."

In those we learned of the "hapless hero" L."Con" Flubbard,

or L.C. for short.

When the "curtain closed," the ADD FORUM had just TP'd

the Seanceolgist's International Headquarters Alien Landing Strip

and left a "message" behind.

What you'll see in this installment closely parallels the oxymoron

of a "religion," called Scientology.

As previously noted, Scientology was actually "founded" as a bet

on how to make the most money, by science fiction writer, and

diagnosed Paranoid Schizophrenic, L. Ron Hubbard.

He developed his "theory" in a book called "Dianetics," which got

no respect from the psychiatric/mental health community.

In a nutshell (no pun intended), the basic idea is that we all have

been infested with miniature aliens, who must be "purged" from

our systems;so that we become "purified."

Before you go and diss this intro as not being "accurate," please

note that this is so over the top BS, that I don't care if it's not

"exactly" what was said or not.

It still won't make any sense.

In response to being ridiculed by psychiatry, the Scientologist's

have proceeded to attack mental health and, in particular, ADHD.

In this saga, you'll be introduced to Tom Snooze and his bff

John Revolta; two actor types now responsible for running the

"mob" of Seanceology.

Why you ask?

Because LC has "disappeared."

He has left behind a "message" of his own encouraging his

followers to look for the ultimate truth,which is supposedly

hidden within the mysterious "Temple of TUT."

Journey now to the inner sanctum of the Seanceologists and

of their plans for world domination,WHICH CAN NOW BE YOURS

ON CD,DVD or BFD :faint: FOR THE RIDICULOUSLY LOW PRICE

OF $50.00 (down,a week, for 50 years :D ).

Good Evening

mctavish23esq

(Robert)

mctavish23
05-23-11, 11:40 PM
TOM SNOOZE and The TEMPLE OF TUT (Part One) : "Mission Impacted"

Scene: The Inner Sanctum of the Seanceologist's International Headquaters

in BF Maine.

KIDS: TELL YOUR PARENTS TO "SCREW" DISNEY WORLD & UNIVERSAL.

WE WANNA GO ON VACATION TO BF MAINE !!

THAT'S RIGHT,WE WANNA GO TO "HUMPTY WORLD."

Where else can you tour a replica of the famed Humpty Pyramid, do the

Humpty Dance all day, and ride around on little replica spaceships.

PLUS : Tour the Headquarters AND the Alien Landing Strip.

While you're at it, get a discount by cleaning the ADD FORUM's

"message" off the runway, OR a FREE Humpty fake nose & glasses

mask.

You can also have endless fun bouncing on the Tom Snooze trampoline

couch, just like the one he flipped out on on The OCRA Show.

How cool is that?

Book now and we'll charge you extra $$$ because you couldn't wait.

Now where were we :

As Tom Snooze and John Revolta sit around trying to figure out what

the hell they're supposed to be doing, we hear John say :

"Tom, STOP BOUNCING ON THAT Fing COUCH."

"Is that all you ever do?"

Tom replies with : "NO. I'm just happy, happy happy."

"Why?" John asks.

"Because I've got no lil aliens in me is why," says Tom.

"I've "purged" them all by becoming a member of this "G."

He goes on to say," And now I'm going to share that message

with pathetic losers everywhere in my new hit movie...(dun dun dun)

MISSION IMPACTED.

"What's it about?" John asks

"It's about how everyone can become just like us by believing everything

we say (and by paying us LOTS of $$$ for the priviledge)."

"Okay," John says,"but what about trying to find LC and,don't forget, we

need more stupid minion TROLLS to invade the FORUM, and to pay us more

$$$$."

"No problemo holmes," Tom says.

"Dude, I thought that was your ex's last name ?"

"Oh crap. Scratch that part," stutters Tom.

"Here's the scam I got cooking," he says.

Tom then asks, "You know that new CHEEK & THONG album

called "Big Bamboosle?"

"Ditto Dude," says John.

"Well, we can have us a telethon to raise money to help find LC and to,

you know, raise money?"

"How will that work?," asks John

"We'll get us some of our very own "experts" to trash everything we don't

like and then make it sound "real," says Tom.

John then asks," Who ya gonna call?"

"Boast Busters, of course," adds Tom.

Now sports fans, this distinguished group is composed of :

1) Frank "I.B." Bragging,MD, or "Dr Fibb" for short;

2) Werner von Buttsnoid,MD, better known as "Dr.BS" and;

3) Donald "Don" D. DonDunn,MD, or "Dr D."

TWO WEEKS LATER ( back at the HQ):

John : "Welcome Dr. Dudes."

"Today is like a "dress rehearsal" for the telethon thingy."

"Have you got a topic yet to impress everyone?" John asks.

"We do," they say in unison.

Suddenly, Tom Snooze comes bouncing in the room with

"Oh yeah, topic time. Oh yeah."

John then responds with, "Tom, if you don't stop all that "happy"

happy stuff, I gonna make you take some more of our Private Label

EX AXE and get whatever left over alienasss you've got stuck up there."

"Bummer," Tom says.

"So docs", John asks, what's the plan?"

"Before launching an all out revenge attack against the ADD FORUM, we need

to get some "Big Payback" against mental health."

They go on to say,"Our plan is to attack the upcoming DSN V,you know the

"bible" of mental health diagnoses."

"Why that?" Tom asks.

"Because it obviously stands for "DON'T SAY NO."

"Gasp" said both Tom & John.

"There's more" adds Dr. FIbb.

"The DSN V is supposed to have a "special" diagnosis for us Seanceologists,

and we can't let that get published."

"WHAT?" said Tom & John.

At first, the famous doctor type "experts" look like they don't want to say,

but finally they add in unison..(dun dun dun) "SPANKAPHOBIA."

"NOOO.NOT THAT!!" wail Tom & John.

"We're afraid so," the docs said.

EDITOR's NOTE : As our story "fades to black" here, for maybe the 2nd time,

is what that diagnosis means:

SPANKAPHOBIA ...

"Fear Of Pee Wee Herman Sitting Behind You At The Movies."

DSN V Symptoms :

1) IS SPANKY YOUR FAVORITE LIL RASCAL?

2)DO SOCK MONKEY'S MAKE YOU ALL TINGLY ?

If so, then YOU too could be at risk.

Tune in next time, when you'll hear our two

actor type dudes discuss trying to find LC and

The Temple of TUT.

Later.

(You have now been charged an extra $$99.99 for our free

Humpty World Brochure).


mctavish23esq.

(Robert)

mctavish23
05-28-11, 12:16 AM
TOM SNOOZE and The TEMPLE of TUT:Prologue (Part Two)

DISCLAIMER: This is FICTION, So DEAL WITH IT.

(Just Like : "I'm Robert, DEAL WITH IT)."

The Prologue is two parts because, wtf, it just is.

(Know what I'm saying)

Okay, when we left off the "doctor dudes" had just excused

themselves to go and play the great new hit game sensation

(If you guessed dun dun dun, you were right)....

MONKEYSPANK MONOTONY :yes:

And it can be YOURS for the low low price of just $139.99.

Best of all ,it comes in a plain brown wrapper.

BUT WAIT, there's more .....

Order Today without complaining, and we'll tastefully refrain

from advertising your purchase...for the low low additional price

of just $10.01 :D

Where else can you buy that kind of peace of mind?

Now, back to the Seanceology HQ with Tom Snooze and John

Revolta....

Tom: "Dude we have to find our leader LC (i.e., L."Con" Flubbard)."

John: "You are correct sir!"

Tom: "So how do we do that?"

John :"Look, he left some clues that he said can be found in a very

dangerous locale."

Tom" "Where's that?"

John: "I don't want to say it too loud but, you KNOW where"

Tom' "OMFG, not the ADD FORUM."

Tom" "We'll get our weenie asses kicked."

John: "Calm down dude, cause that's what stupid minion trolls

are for."

Tom: "Oh yeah, I forgot how stupid they are."

At that point, the two actor type dudes decided that they had

to risk re-invading the FORUM to hunt for clues to the (dun dun dun)

TEMPLE of TUT.

Tune in next time when I remember to make a new thread instead of

this extended F'ing Prologue.

A gracious good evening.

mctavish23esq

(Robert)