Hello All-I'm confused. I think I have made a sincere attempt to reach out to someone I care deeply for as it relates to talking about his a.d.d. and just to be a good friend. We use to date but now we are attempting to be friends but he does not seem comfortable talking to me in general not even about normal stuff like work or other stuff. I don't want to be pushy and he says he's a little overwhelmed with my attempts to show him that i want to be there for him. Now I feel kinda bad that i'm even trying. He said he wants to talk about things but not right now. I want to believe that he will at some point sit down and talk with me but i know that talking about emotions isn't his favorite thing to do. Is this part of having a.d.d. and should i continue to try and talk with him? i have been under the impression that a.d.d. can make someone shy away from those harder discussions. any advice would be helpful.

My add friend does find it hard to discuss personal things especially if he's involved in the issue, as opposed to it being for example, my problem at work, or with someone else. I mean, who likes to think they're causing someone else's problem? Nobody!!! Anyway, I've found that by waiting a bit, and most things like that can benefit from a cooling period, we both find it so much easier to discuss anything in a kind, nonjudgemental and solution oriented manner.

My own experience suggests he's probably being quite honest and asking for some space, and he may be feeling a little overwhelmed etc. I think you might focus your attention on your own needs and interests in your general life and especially do something interesting and exciting for yourself that will make you happy and at peace.

He says he wants to talk later, so trust that. I don't know how you do your communication contact thingy, but be open and friendly to his next communication if he is likely to initiate or give him some time and check back with him later.

This is just one version/one scenario though. I think the other folks here might give some other great views and suggestions you should mull over.

Thanks for you thoughts. I appreciate it. I guess I'm overly anxious. To be honest I don't feel very positive about our next discussion and i guess at the end i feel like it won't be good discussion. I'm tired and I do need to re-energize myself. But I guess I just feel like as soon as I myself all together I'll hear from him and I'll feel anxious again. But this is very good advice and I'll definitely give it a shot.

When he calls, remember why it is that you really like him and let yourself be easy with it. He's a great guy and it would be cool to be friends, so lean back a bit and enjoy that.

I know what it is to be anxious too, but I haven't found a lot of it to it very helpful in interacting with my friend. And it's stressful too for both of us. Yuck!

I really hope things work out for you, falling.

falling,
another thing about ADDers is we are capable of talking on & on & on when comfortable... so I think your friend has some insecurity fear interfering with that natural tendency... but anyways if you notice him babbling a bit, encorage that because it's a natural thing & once he relaxes he should be amazingly capable of describing all sorts of things going on in his head. Just look for that and make him comfortable & I think he'll be flowing smoothly in no time.

i'll certainly try-thxs