View Full Version : How to explain


Huskitch
06-25-11, 03:19 AM
Hello everyone!
I'm new here so please excuse me if I sometimes use the incorrect terminology here.

I'm a 16 year old teenager and I think I have ADD.
I have problems focusing, always fidgeting, bad memory and I'm always depressed.

The problem is, I don't know how to ask my mother to get me checked out.
If I was to ask her, she would just disregard it and say something like "oh, you're just being stupid, get over it".

Please help!

trishcan
06-25-11, 03:55 AM
If she does respond that way, why not say something like "You're probably right, but I think I'd feel better about things if I heard that from a doctor." Maybe even frame it as a way for the doctor to help you find ways to cope with the feelings you're having without saying that you disagree with your mother. If she thinks she can appease you by taking you to the doctor one time, that may be all it takes to get a diagnosis if you do, in fact, have ADHD.

happytexas
06-25-11, 09:35 AM
If the above fails and you have a school nurse or counselor you could try there next.

This book is recommended by the royal academy of psychiatrists (http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/specialties/faculties/childandadolescent/booksforteensadults.aspx#ah) (which may be helpful if you reference the book to authority figures) and had good reviews on Amazon; it is geared toward ADHD teens: Help4ADD@Highschool

Reading it may also help you articulate your issues to your mother and what help you expect from a doctor. Though it isn't right for you to be in this position, you can often get better results from people when you have a plan/solution to the problem you are presenting them with.

It may also be helpful when dealing with doctors as (1) you are suggesting the diagnosis, the idea isn't coming from the school or your parents, (2) you seem to be dealing with primarily inattentive ADHD, and (3) you are female with depressive symptoms; doctors tend to focus on depressive symptoms in females without adequately considering the possibility/role of ADHD.

Below are some links (http://www.lighthousegroup.org.uk/links.php) that may help if your mom is uncooperative and you need to help yourself:
ChildLine

Free 24hr counselling service for children and young people.
Freephone: 0800 11 11
Website: www.childline.org.uk (http://www.childline.org.uk/)


Youth Access

Can tell young people under 25 where their nearest free advice, info and counselling service is.
Telephone: 020 8772 9900
(Mon-Fri, 9.00am-1.00pm & 2.00pm-4.30pm)
Website: www.youthaccess.org.uk (http://www.youthaccess.org.uk/)

Notafadd
06-25-11, 02:28 PM
First of all, sometimes teenagers have the wrong idea about their parents. I know I did! You should still TRY to talk to her. However, if that doesn't work I believe that you can see your GP without her permission on the NHS.

Huskitch
06-25-11, 05:36 PM
If the above fails and you have a school nurse or counselor you could try there next.

This book is recommended by the royal academy of psychiatrists (http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/specialties/faculties/childandadolescent/booksforteensadults.aspx#ah) (which may be helpful if you reference the book to authority figures) and had good reviews on Amazon; it is geared toward ADHD teens: Help4ADD@Highschool

Reading it may also help you articulate your issues to your mother and what help you expect from a doctor. Though it isn't right for you to be in this position, you can often get better results from people when you have a plan/solution to the problem you are presenting them with.

It may also be helpful when dealing with doctors as (1) you are suggesting the diagnosis, the idea isn't coming from the school or your parents, (2) you seem to be dealing with primarily inattentive ADHD, and (3) you are female with depressive symptoms; doctors tend to focus on depressive symptoms in females without adequately considering the possibility/role of ADHD.

Below are some links (http://www.lighthousegroup.org.uk/links.php) that may help if your mom is uncooperative and you need to help yourself:
ChildLine

Free 24hr counselling service for children and young people.
Freephone: 0800 11 11
Website: www.childline.org.uk (http://www.childline.org.uk/)


Youth Access

Can tell young people under 25 where their nearest free advice, info and counselling service is.
Telephone: 020 8772 9900
(Mon-Fri, 9.00am-1.00pm & 2.00pm-4.30pm)
Website: www.youthaccess.org.uk (http://www.youthaccess.org.uk/)

No, it's nothing like that, I just don't think she realises what ADD actually is, and since not many people have it around here she just thinks it's not possible to have it.
She's not a bad person! :D

happytexas
06-26-11, 08:03 AM
No, it's nothing like that, I just don't think she realises what ADD actually is, and since not many people have it around here she just thinks it's not possible to have it.
She's not a bad person! :D

I'm not making assumptions, just wanted to offer alternatives, jic :); primarily inattentive ADHD can be difficult to get people to recognize and accept; and ADHD diagnosis in general seems to get a bad rap in your media.

If that is what she says, I'd say that we should make the appointment anyway and see what the doctor has to say. I still recommend that you both read the book; depending on her opinions on psychiatrists and the government, it may carry some weight with her ;).

Codykins
06-27-11, 12:59 PM
Depression in teens is a huge problem these days there is so much stress on your guys both socially and academically. Most of the Parents these days are so aware of teens and depression,

Talk to your Mom about your depression and your desire to talk to someone. From there you can work with councling on ther possibility of ADHD.

Best of luck and have faith in your parents, be honest about your feelings and don't suggest a diagnoses, just get them to listen to you enough to schedule a meeting with a councler they will take it from there.

Good luck!