View Full Version : Hal E. Toesis : Agent of N.A.S.T.Y.


mctavish23
07-05-11, 08:39 AM
Welcome to Chapter One of : Hal E. Toesis (Agent of N.A.S.T.Y.)

That stands for Negative Attention Seeking Tools (are) Yuck.

As I'm sure you realize by now, a new and insidious type of "Troll"

has innudated the ADD FORUM with trivialized trite, designed to

undermine the overall integrity of the site (seriously).

So I think for now, we'll just call them ..."trite trolls." :D

Now our "hero" Hal, works for the "super secret" FORUM section

entitled N.A.S.T.Y.

Currently, he's "undercover" as a therapist at a rural community

mental health center,just south of the North Pole, but still in the

USA. :p

Together, with is trusty "sidekick" and wife in real life, the lovely

Mindy Fres Breth (or "Mindy Fresh" for short), they battle trite trolls

on behalf of the FORUM.

Learn how he uses his "secret weapon" (ugh, you guessed it) to escape

harm by saying "Howw did THAT make you feel?" :(

Journey with us now back to yesterday (literally),when this train of

thought stopped at the "station," instead of speeding past.


CHAPTER ONE: Poor Social Skills Or Just The Dreaded Foot B.O.

Opening scene (Trite Troll # 1)

Typing new thread...Poor Me : I Suck

Hal responds : Cheer up "Bunkie (always wondered where that came from)".

Things aren't THAT bad are they ?

What? You say your HS nickname suddenly changed from "Unibrow" to (omg)

"Absorbine Jr.?"

You can't get a date either and your favorite songs are Beck's "I'm A Loser

Baby" and the Mask Marauders classic "Can't Get No Nookie?"

Well, I think I've found the problem....."It's YOU, you "jackwagon."

Try Oder Eaters, with a heavy dose of corn starch,sprinkled liberally

with Dillweed (somehow that fits).

Now, "get a grip" and come back later.

In closing, "Howw did THAT make you feel?"

EDITOR's NOTE:

I hope it made you feel like smiling.

Later (and stayed tuned for more "stuff" ) :rolleyes:

tc

mctavish23

Robert

Turbochica
07-05-11, 11:22 AM
Hal the new superhero, movies? televesion series? you might need an agent soon ;)

mctavish23
07-05-11, 09:09 PM
Chapter Two: Hal E. Toesis (Agent of N.A.S.T.Y.) in Toe Jam Football

DISCLAIMER: No cavities in over 5 years=Minty Fresh Breath +I have

NEVER been accused of saying "How did that make you feel?" in therapy.


Chapter Two : We find the ever watchful Hal checking up and down the

FORUM for signs of the newly developed "Trite Trolls."

As he carefully watches and waits for signs of annoying irrelevant threads,

supposedly designed to elicit "pity" for the OP, while really meant to

denigrate the validity and purpose of the FORUM, he suddenly gets a "hit."

"Yowzer," he exclaims to his awesome "side kick" Minty Fresh, I believe

we have a "customer" for our services.

As he reads further, it becomes painfully obvious that the thread in

question has nothing to do with anything remotely relevant,other than to

annoy the members.

However, this one has real "promise."

"OMG," says Hal, "Woulda take a look at this." :doh:

It seems that the "Trite Troll" has asked the truly important question of :

THREAD : Do You Know Anyone Whose Ever Snorted Toe Jam While

Yodeling?"

Hal immediately springs into action.

Hal: "Uh, dude, so what's up with that?"

After stalling a little, Hal uses his special "therapist type powers" to get

him to "spill the beans."

It seems the Trite Troll couldn't get a date, so he went to ...dun dun dun:p

Creepo Suave's Single's Soiree' Site For "Cute Babes".

After that painful revelation, Hal continues to to use his "mind powers"

to learn more.

Here's the "ugly truth" :

Hal: "So Bunkie, you really went and did it?"

"You hooked up with someone from that "site" because you can't get

your own date AND, she dumped you for the Roto Rutabega guy?"

"What happened?"

"Omg... she was a part time librarian and flower arranger who worked as

a pole dancer on Tuesdays?"

"Her name was what?"

"No way,...nobody's named "VAVA VOOM."

"Oh well, first time for everything I suppose."

"So how did you strike out ?"

"You didn't?"

"You mean you told toe jam jokes at dinner and then started "yodeling?"

"That's beyond sad."

"However, it doesn't have "jack" to do with ADHD."

Hal then suggests that he might want to try Dr Scholls office so he can

"feel better."

That way he can then "Get the hell out of here and go back to "Loserville."

The End.

The Moral of the Story is "It Must Suck To Be You, But Not On Your Toes." :p

(And definately NOT in our FORUM).

Later

Robert

mctavish23
07-06-11, 09:32 AM
Chapter 3 :Hal.E.Toesis (Agent of N.A.S.T.Y.) in "Skid Row :The Chester

Drawers Case." :cool:

Scene: We open as our hero Hal just discovers another attempt at an

'invasion" of the infamous "Trite Trolls."

However, this one seems a little "lower" than most.

Suddenly, he uses his amazing "therapist type insight powers" to deduce,

"Omg. It can't be HIM?"

But unfortunately it is.

As Hal realizes who he's dealing with, he blurts out..."Not that evil asss-

wipe again."

"I thought we wiped him off the planet and out of the FORUM a long time

ago."

Hal then decides the only way to confront this evil butt munch is a surprise

attack within the FORUM.

So he finds his latest poll on "Flatulence: Good Or Bad For Picking Up

"Hot" ADHD Chicks ? " :confused:

Brilliant.

Without consideration for life and limb, Hal storms in (holding his nose).

"Listen buttsnoid, we're sick up and fed of all this disgusting dillweed

grunge you're putting down in here;none of which is relevant to anything."

Hal is on a roll, so he goes on.."Okay, Fruit of the Loom brains, it's time to

ask the ultimate question."

"No,it's not "Are you feeling lucky today punk ?"

"It's...dun dun dun... "HOWWW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?" :(

"GOTCHA."

As the insanely evil "Chester Drawers" realizes he's just gotten his sorry

butt kicked out of the FORUM, he utters a curse on the way out...

"You'll be sorry. I'll be back, in the end...Muahhaaa." :mad:

And in conclusion...

"I'm Robert. Deal with it." :D

mctavish23
07-08-11, 11:42 PM
EPILOGUE : Hal E.Toesis (Agent of N.A.S.T.Y.)

To say the least, it appears that our "problem" is temporarily gone;

at least for now.

I think it's probably safe to assume that anyone with such a large ego

and an equally small mind, would be compelled to return, as though

some great injustice had been done them.

Whatever, they can do a poll on how "unfair" it was to delete their

"posts."

The bottom line is that they'll give themselves away by posting the

same old/same old "trite," which will then result in the exact same

ending as our good friend Hal derived by kicking these butts.

I'm about to embark on my own "adventure" to try and settle and

eight year old "problem" at work, that has done a real "number" on me

over the years.

I'm almost squared away.

My EMDR for the PTSD worked and I'm "up and running" emotionally.

I definately need to start working out again, but as far as my "ADHD

training" goes, I'll let ya'll be the judge(s) of whether or not my expertise

is "in shape."

I already know it is, so that was rhetorical.

I don't say it enough, but ya'll will never know how much the FORUM has meant to

me as a stress release and a place of support; so THANK YOU.

Take Care.

Robert