I finally asked My sis to pick up a book and read at my condtion so maybe she will understad me better and :eek: she didn't argue with me. Maybe part of her wants to understand. Who knows:rolleyes:? All she seams to see is that I am not a mentally well person...but she does not know what makes me tic.

I would rather her read a book cause If I try to explain my symptoms ......it's toooo overwhelming for her to hear it seems and tells me to stop talking about it...I would have better luck getting my Dog to understand me.

She has her cushy life with her work and friends and not exposed to learning about disorders and I dont think she wants to cause she just might find out things about her...

I have No Idea,...this is specualtion...but Good Grief... What is her Problem? :( :mad: :confused:

Shadow Syndromes by Ratey & Johnson is an interesting book. It looks at various disorders and how they can play a role in even 'normal' people & talks about how meds can help. The idea sounds scary (OMG I'm nuts just like the crazy people) but it's handled in a way that I think could be pretty easily accepted by most folks & help them see how these disorders feel and like in their lives in a mild form & understand that it's not just for people seeing hallucinations in mental hospitals.

I am ready to throw a lot of books at her...No Pun intended..if she doesn't wanna hear it from me she can hear it from the Pro's.

really big {{hugs}} Mel.......

I think it's the worse thing any family can do, be it mental or physical is to be ignorant about it......

I hope you get through to your sister......

I hope so too, Hugsss Paula!

Draga,
I notice my family all want to ignore any possibility of any mental illness.
My gut feeling is that they hope none of it rubs off the genetic tree onto them.

Addictions are talked about in my family the same way, kind of around the issues "yeah we all have the tendency to be addictive type personalities", but no one really wants to get involved in anyone’s struggle or have it rub off on them or theirs.

I'm just thinking out loud here.

It's not that the ‘normies’ don't care it's that they are afraid, that's my take on it anyway.

I am starting to agree with ya there, Charlie...Hugs

I invited my sister to talk to my doc when I had gotten my dx. She didn't believe me when I told her I have ts+adhd. "Ok, but you can't have severe ts or adhd." was her reply. She talked almost 40 minutes with my doc about what is ocd and what ts is and what is severe and mild symptoms... My sister almost cried after that and said she was soooooo sorry for hating me all these years, she just thought I was a bully and liked saying bad stuff, playing a clown and doing those crazy things.

Maybe talking to your doc could help your sister too? :)

i'm still on a non-speaking level with(out?) my mom (haven't seen or spoken to her since mid-march, but i'm "okay" with that...), but i brought my friends to my doctor, so she/they could meet...
i think doing so was one of the most brilliant ideas i've ever had (and i've been known to have a few good ones, and a whole heap of really *bad* ones, too;-), because they got to ask whatever questions they wanted to ask, and my doctor and i tried to answer those questions, and also my doctor got to ask my friends questions...

suddenly, the whole idea of "psychiatry", "shrink" and so on, didn't seem so "scary" to my friends (these words are all part of the major "three monkeys" attitude towards people who are - in this particular example - *(neuro)psychiatrically* "different) and they've learned *a lot*, as have *i*!

i actually think the relationship(s) i have with/(?) my friends has/have *improved* since they met and talked to my doctor...
"the lines of communication are open", kinda...

:D

That's an idea :D if she goes for it..cross fingers and legs...I need all help I can get ;) Thanks Hun.

Both of Ya's :D

What is it about even the most difficult members of our family, we want (need) them to understand us? Some family members I can already predict don't want to hear about it. They like their own version of reality.

My mother-in-law doesn't understand. She thinks I have "issues" and doesn't see the chemistry problem. She wants medication to work instantly (as far as bipolar goes), and is skeptical about ADD.

Next time Mike talks to her (we see my therapist on Thursday) he's going to see about sending her some info about bipolar. I copied some stuff from about.com. It might help her understand what I've been struggling with all these years. She worries constantly, she doesn't know that it hurts worse from the inside.

When you think about it, it may confuse or annoy them, but it can be downright painful for us! With the physically ill there seems to be endless amounts of care and support. When it comes to the "mentally ill" people become so easily frustrated when it's not "cured yet". They find it "convenient" for us, to just blame it when something isn't going right.

Aw heck, I went and ranted instead of being helpful. So sorry. Hope your sister is cooperative. Hope it comforts you.

No No......It nice to know I am not alone and if it helps to get it out of ya system shug rant away:)

LOL! that's good Eye!
"Aw heck, I went and ranted instead of being helpful. So sorry. Hope your sister is cooperative. Hope it comforts you"

hehe if someone can relate...so much de betta:D Im sure too many of us can relate.sigh

I left a few pages of information regarding ADD at my parents house and had them read . I really dont know what i expected but it certainly was not this. my father jus called and commented on the material that i left.his words" sometimes when people read these type of things they start to see all the symptoms in them. Sometime they are looking for sympathy. " That was all i needed to hear. I simply said , "fine dad" All i wanted was some validation, someone to understand but its not gonna happen. I will have no help form anyone in my life. I dont think i ever felt this alone in my life. Why cant others just understand?

Toaster,
You have us!
I'm thinking families are too close to us to be objective.
Like I read in another post if it was physical you/we would be getting support and sympathy...but
There are lots of support groups out there, just reach out don't keep it in!

Toaster, my best friend told me the exact same thing, I've told him once I'v got an adhd dx but he said exactly like your father said. After that we've never discussed it or said anything about it again, but we're still as good friends as before.

Like charlie said, we're here and we understand you :)

Toaster,
You have us!
I'm thinking families are too close to us to be objective.
Like I read in another post if it was physical you/we would be getting support and sympathy...but
There are lots of support groups out there, just reach out don't keep it in!

I second that notion!!! Hugs Toaster...we are here for ya shugga

Ah, family...many of us could probably write a book about it. I try and keep in mind that my family (parents and two brothers) live by the maxim "ignorance is bliss". I think it's just too scary for them to face their feelings of anger, pain, frustration, and fear. Also, I think they see my problems as a "failure" on their part.

Not only that, but if they started to look at my situation, they maybe would have to start dealing with a different reality than the one they've built for themselves and that's just too much work, too overwhelming. It's easier to shut me out than to consider that there is substance abuse, major depression, family violence, etc. running rampant throughout our family.

I have always said that one of my biggest "heartaches" comes from the little girl who still lives inside me who's crying for her mother, but I have accepted that my mother won't ever be able to fill that need. I have learned over the years to find a lot of that kind of support and care through mentors.

It isn't always enough, but a good cry, and off I go because I made the decision to build a better life for myself. I tried in the beginning to work with them, but eventually I chose to leave that system and have never regretted it.

Take care of yourself.

Kim

Hah I am finding that to be true..and my sis that I went and visited today seemed a bit ADD and was distracted a lot and said things like,"I meant to call but I completely forgot even though reminding myself so many times" I told her...Are You sure you are not ADD..... All she said was..."YES I'M SURE!" LOL it is too laugh:D

Yeah, gotta laugh at 'em sometimes. Enjoy what you can from your relationships with your family and leave the rest. I can barely save myself some (most?) days, what ever made me think I could save them! ;)

Kim

I watch too many sitcoms, they should be sued for false advertising. Except "Married With Children" or "The Simpsons". We're all so bloody dysfunctional! I'm on another forum (nothing to do with ADD) and it's the same there. Family isn't there for you, doesn't support you, doesn't accept you for who you are. My Mom is cool, we can disagree in a mature, friendly way (sometimes I can't always do that with my husband!). Dad on the other hand, won't listen about who I am, what I like, what I like to wear, my opinions about our relationship, my change in religion (oh boy, that wouldn't go over well), my opinions about certain political agendas, let alone being bipolar and ADD! Good grief!

Let's be honest for a sec. Do we do this to our families? Do we "not listen"? Are we "unaccepting" or "close minded"? I try hard not to be. I'd like to think I am not like that with my children. Isn't family the ONE place in this crazy world that we need to feel accepted and secure, and it's the ONE place where most of us get the least of that?

Ya know, the world has it's priorities screwed up.

I guess friends are the family you choose, and I've always liked them better than the relatives. Can I send you guys holiday cards this year, instead? (jk, then we'd have the obligation issues with each other, it would stop being friendship and start being a dysfunctional family:p; not to mention how many of us would procrastinate it until Groundhog's Day! )

Family can be the toughest to figure out. Mine won't even talk to me on the subject, then when I bring it up they change the subject and then call and cry to my brother saying my wife has me a mental medication. I have been so angry at them lately. My wife however has taken clases on ADD and what to look for and she is the one that encouraged me to see a doctor. I can always turn to my wife. She has even been my coach and several times refocusing me.

I watch too many sitcoms, they should be sued for false advertising. Except "Married With Children" or "The Simpsons". We're all so bloody dysfunctional! I'm on another forum (nothing to do with ADD) and it's the same there. Family isn't there for you, doesn't support you, doesn't accept you for who you are. My Mom is cool, we can disagree in a mature, friendly way (sometimes I can't always do that with my husband!). Dad on the other hand, won't listen about who I am, what I like, what I like to wear, my opinions about our relationship, my change in religion (oh boy, that wouldn't go over well), my opinions about certain political agendas, let alone being bipolar and ADD! Good grief!

Let's be honest for a sec. Do we do this to our families? Do we "not listen"? Are we "unaccepting" or "close minded"? I try hard not to be. I'd like to think I am not like that with my children. Isn't family the ONE place in this crazy world that we need to feel accepted and secure, and it's the ONE place where most of us get the least of that?

Ya know, the world has it's priorities screwed up.

I guess friends are the family you choose, and I've always liked them better than the relatives. Can I send you guys holiday cards this year, instead? (jk, then we'd have the obligation issues with each other, it would stop being friendship and start being a dysfunctional family:p; not to mention how many of us would procrastinate it until Groundhog's Day! )


OMG TY So Much! I been saying the same thing for years....PULEEZE!!!!! If their is a loving family such as le Huxtables...They are some very good does of Valium but I have heard there are supportive familes...but too darn rare to find expecially when one has ADD Or any other...ya know the word.

You are lucky fisherman to have a supporting wife ....I myself never made it to the alter yet cause it seems they can not handle that I was uncontrolable among other things...One actually dumped me after 5 years and said it cause he could not handle mental problems.Which is just fine with me.....I couldn't handle dating a pervert