View Full Version : ADHD people acting like kids at 20 yrs old?


Emotions
07-14-11, 08:31 AM
My boyfriend has ADHD and doesn't like taking his medication. We are both 20 years old. When he doesn't take his med's he really aggravates me even more than he does when he is on them. Its like i'm not his girlfriend, i'm his babysitter.

Some examples just from yesterday..
-He gets bossy with everything. When we try and play video games, it just makes me not want to play with him and i tell him.. "you can just play yourself then" and then he fakes being sad. He puts his head down and makes a sad face. He drives me crazy.
-He's like hypomanic when he gets really really excited. We went on one of the rides at a theme park and it was like he was high on some kinda drug. He screams in my ears "OMG OMG" He just overdo's it.
-He freaked out at my little dog and chased him under my bed and was just screaming at him and he terrified the poor little guy. He nipped back because he was being harassed and cornered (he never bites or growls unless you try and take away his bone or toy, he just has an attitude but is extremely loveable.) He treats him like crap because apparently I baby my dog too much and I guess he is jealous.
-My little dog chases the cats so he put my dog and one of the cats in a cardboard box together just for the hell of it.. wtf.. Probably traumatized my cat and could have given either two a heart attack. Imagine being in a cardboard box with a bear?

I have adhd and im just getting medicated now. I NEVER act this bad even off my meds.
How can a 20 year old adhd guy act so childish. Adhd cannot be an excuse for acting this bad...

Please help me to understand this guy. I like him but he is just annoying.

gerwin
07-14-11, 08:35 AM
what's he like with medication?
there might be some other issues he's dealing with, have you talked about this with him?

Emotions
07-14-11, 08:52 AM
When he takes his med's he just seems like he actually listens to me for once but he still acts childish in ways that are not socially appropriate for his age. He still is bossy, but just not to the point that makes me decide to just get up and leave him do whatever we were doing by himself. He constantly needs to be the the center of attention. When I practice piano, he always comes over and takes over. Still has a hard time sharing simple things.. Wont share popcorn at a movie, he thinks we should both have our own. Blames me for his failures like school etc..

At the end of the day, I always wonder why i'm not getting paid to "Be" with this guy. Its rare that I ever feel like we are dating.

The things I dislike about him are amplified about 5x when he doesn't take meds.

I do bad stuff too so i'm not saying that i'm an angel but I act my age.
Ive met other adhd guys and I am friends with one but when he doesn't take his meds I still enjoy his company and he acts his age. Its just as if my boyfriend doesn't care about anything, like he doesn't even try to control his behaviour. He has hardly any good friends because of this.

invictus
07-14-11, 10:21 AM
I think immaturity is definitely part of ADHD. Before being diagnosed I was summoned by my child's 4th grade teacher at a new school with great concern because socially my son was a good 2 years behind the other kids in class. He was immature, didn't catch on to social cues, didn't know what was an appropriate response to certain situations, ect.

That being said boys in general are much more immature than girls at the age of 20, ADHD or not. I wouldn't expect him to start acting his age for another 5 years or so, sorry to break it to ya. Hell, I didn't really start growing up until 25 either. Acting 20 is gonna look a whole lot different for a male than it does for a female.

gerwin
07-14-11, 10:37 AM
I think immaturity is definitely part of ADHD. Before being diagnosed I was summoned by my child's 4th grade teacher at a new school with great concern because socially my son was a good 2 years behind the other kids in class. He was immature, didn't catch on to social cues, didn't know what was an appropriate response to certain situations, ect.

That being said boys in general are much more immature than girls at the age of 20, ADHD or not. I wouldn't expect him to start acting his age for another 5 years or so, sorry to break it to ya. Hell, I didn't really start growing up until 25 either. Acting 20 is gonna look a whole lot different for a male than it does for a female.

Good point, looking back I wasn't all that mature untill about the age of 28 and I'm still behind. i will never be properly mature, but i'm ok with that.
without the negative, there's no positive.
I take my meds to stay a little more centred for my environment.
when everything is that much better on meds, you should find a way to convince him to take them.

Muggzy
07-14-11, 01:06 PM
I just turned 40 and I have moments like this still.
Sometimes I feel almost manic and only half realize I am doing things AS I am doing them.
If my GF points them out to me I realize what I am doing and feel very embarrassed and stop, even if I don't show it I get a little depressed because I don't like losing control like that. She is cool about it and our joke is that I "need a keeper" sometimes.

The "Up" side of this, is that I always got along great with my son and all of his friends, because while the other dads were standing around talking sports and rubbing their beer guts "too mature to PLAY", I would be directly interacting with the kids, chasing them through play structures or pushing them on the swings. Now at 17, I know I have a stronger bond with my son than many of those men that wouldn't get on their hands and knees and play with their kids.

My "moments" are almost 99% happy/manic type stuff, I tend to get silly or act like a clown, making people laugh for the most part. My (soon to be) sister in-law says I am like a "one man show", which she means in a good way. Picture a 6'3", 250lb grown man built like a football player leaping into the room and mincing around like a big oafish ballerina and you get the idea. ;-)

The bottom line is that if you get his attention, and tell him what bothers you, he should be able to reign it in to some degree in respect for you, at the same time, you need to "choose your battles" and let some of the more harmless silliness slide if you want to be with someone like this.

RedHairedWitch
07-14-11, 01:35 PM
People with ADHD develop emotionally and socially about 30% behind their peers and do not start to catch up until thier early twenties. Also men mature slower than women and boy, do you notice it in your early twenties!

Also this:

<iframe width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7cw8jHUkHiA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Conman
07-14-11, 11:47 PM
im pretty sure im not going to change when i am 20+ years old. if i havnt changed by now, im not going to change unless something really good or really ungodly bad happens.

tudorose
07-15-11, 05:54 AM
I'm 36 and I can still throw the most spectacular tantrums

love my family
07-15-11, 07:11 AM
Good point, looking back I wasn't all that mature untill about the age of 28 and I'm still behind. i will never be properly mature, but i'm ok with that.
without the negative, there's no positive.
I take my meds to stay a little more centred for my environment.
when everything is that much better on meds, you should find a way to convince him to take them.



I'm 46 and a female and still act like a kid alot. I don't think I really started to mature until about 26ish when I got married. Had kids at 30 and I still don't think I was mature. I look at other women my age and it seems ilke they are way older than me. :)

Like Gerwin said "I will never be properly mature, but I'm ok with that". That's me!

I am kind of manic. Today, I'm all over the place but I'm doing my job well today but having alot of fun. I'm kind of the funny one. Get people laughing with my stupid humor. lol

Now with meds I'm a little bit more controlled. Not as impulsive as before and seem to be staying out of trouble. :)

Etcetera
07-15-11, 07:44 AM
im pretty sure im not going to change when i am 20+ years old. if i havnt changed by now, im not going to change unless something really good or really ungodly bad happens.

I changed around the age of 20. I got actually less mature after that. :D


But. First things first: What do you actually still like about him? The way you describe it, it seems like there is nothing else to him but him being immature. That may seem that way because it's the thing you focus on, the thing that annoys you sooo much that it's hard to look at the other good things. Or you just wish to focus on that, because that's what you want advice with.
However, if you feel that this immaturitything takes so much away from your relationship, you actually have every right to end it. You deserve to be happy just as well, you know? So perhaps it would be a good thing to reflect on all his good abilities and counterweight it. You can't stay around till he is 25-26 just because he might be more mature by then...


Secondly, I've also once read that puberty actually lasts till mid-twenties. Possibly also why a lot of people say here they only got mature at the age of 26-28. Me, I'm 24 and a half. I'm counting the days till maturity and I hope that then, I'll finally know what to do with my life. Currently, I still feel like I'm standing at the same crossroad I was at ten years ago. Not knowing whether to go left or right, return or go up or down. It's all still a big question mark.
I'm also still quite a "kid". Not as much as that I harrass innocent dogs and cats (I love animals too much for that and have ever since I was a toddler and my mom taught me to have respect for animals), but childish enough to have tantrums and sulk and hop up and down on the street when I feel happy.
Me and my boyfriend are at the same level when it comes to this. So we're basically like 2 12 yr olds trying to run a household. Now that's totally awesome. ;)

love my family
07-15-11, 08:58 AM
Me and my boyfriend are at the same level when it comes to this. So we're basically like 2 12 yr olds trying to run a household. Now that's totally awesome. ;)

My husband and I are basically 14 year olds running a household with two kids. lol I guess we will grow up someday. :D

anonymouslyadd
07-15-11, 09:12 AM
How can a 20 year old adhd guy act so childish. Adhd cannot be an excuse for acting this bad...

Please help me to understand this guy. I like him but he is just annoying.

Guys are usually less mature than girls. I know I was at his age. I think this is a societal thing more than anything else. The "boys will be boys" behavior is tolerated and even seen as endearing. Perhaps, he just needs some time and understanding.

Etcetera
07-15-11, 09:41 AM
My husband and I are basically 14 year olds running a household with two kids. lol I guess we will grow up someday. :D

Hm. I hope then that by the time I turn 46, I'll be able to say I act like a 14 yr old! Like totally cool, you know, like, then I'll be totally like mature and stuff, you know? :D

mctavish23
07-15-11, 10:39 AM
LOL

If you only knew.

The "upside" is that,even though I'll be 61yo in Sept., I am perfectly suited


to my case load of adolescents and young adults, as rapport is everything

in therapy. ;)

tc

mctavish23

(Robert)

Turbochica
07-15-11, 10:44 AM
Yes, and with the 30% rule the older we get the younger we are ;)
I'm lovin ' it

LOL

If you only knew.

The "upside" is that,even though I'll be 61yo in Sept., I am perfectly suited


to my case load of adolescents and young adults, as rapport is everything

in therapy. ;)

tc

mctavish23

(Robert)

MMetelli13
07-15-11, 12:17 PM
My boyfriend has ADHD and doesn't like taking his medication. We are both 20 years old. When he doesn't take his med's he really aggravates me even more than he does when he is on them. Its like i'm not his girlfriend, i'm his babysitter.

Some examples just from yesterday..
-He gets bossy with everything. When we try and play video games, it just makes me not want to play with him and i tell him.. "you can just play yourself then" and then he fakes being sad. He puts his head down and makes a sad face. He drives me crazy.
-He's like hypomanic when he gets really really excited. We went on one of the rides at a theme park and it was like he was high on some kinda drug. He screams in my ears "OMG OMG" He just overdo's it.
-He freaked out at my little dog and chased him under my bed and was just screaming at him and he terrified the poor little guy. He nipped back because he was being harassed and cornered (he never bites or growls unless you try and take away his bone or toy, he just has an attitude but is extremely loveable.) He treats him like crap because apparently I baby my dog too much and I guess he is jealous.
-My little dog chases the cats so he put my dog and one of the cats in a cardboard box together just for the hell of it.. wtf.. Probably traumatized my cat and could have given either two a heart attack. Imagine being in a cardboard box with a bear?

I have adhd and im just getting medicated now. I NEVER act this bad even off my meds.
How can a 20 year old adhd guy act so childish. Adhd cannot be an excuse for acting this bad...

Please help me to understand this guy. I like him but he is just annoying.

I've never acted like THAT when I don't have my medication on me. I think it's less ADHD and more something else.

ADHD is a life changing disorder, but sometimes it can't exclude bad habits. I never use my disorder to explain why I'm an ******* if I ever act like one. He may just not understand what it means to behave in a relationship.

I also learned in my criminal investigations class that you can judge a person based on the way they treat their animals.

EDIT: Oh cool, these forums automatically censor out curse words, I never knew that!

RedHairedWitch
07-15-11, 12:30 PM
Oh and he is cruel to your pets. Stand up to him, it is your job to protect your pets.

sighduck
07-15-11, 01:25 PM
hmmm... reminds me of the time i endd up hanging around in a big field at varsity and managed to get my friends along with myself to throw grass at each other, roll down hills... and make a grass man. most of my friends are amazed how i havent been beaten up yet, regarding the way i always tend to play around with people throwing stuff at them, peashooting people etc... just this week, i went to a movie with a friend of mine, and we ended up throwing popcorn at people (i tend to have my immature mannerisms affect others too) but most of what i do is always fun, and never really hurts anyone (besides those shy people who get embarrased at all he attention i attract...

MMetelli13
07-16-11, 02:21 AM
I've seen people without ADHD that act less normal than some of the behaviors people tell me. Shoot, I've seen people act far worse than I have without my meds.

Maturity comes at it's own pace. I am mature enough to handle certain situations and what not on my own; but this drat economy is really telling me otherwise.

Contrary Texan
07-16-11, 02:56 PM
I've never acted like THAT when I don't have my medication on me. I think it's less ADHD and more something else.

ADHD is a life changing disorder, but sometimes it can't exclude bad habits. I never use my disorder to explain why I'm an ******* if I ever act like one. He may just not understand what it means to behave in a relationship.

I also learned in my criminal investigations class that you can judge a person based on the way they treat their animals.

EDIT: Oh cool, these forums automatically censor out curse words, I never knew that!

Watch enough police and crime shows and they look at the child/young adult and how they treat animals and the possessions of others when considering serial crimes. He has a habit of abusing you and your animal -- don't think it's abuse? He has no respect for you or your possessions, demands your attention, takes over you and your time, insists on things his way. He may not hit but he's emotionally abusing you, and he may even know it causes you distress so he gets a bit of amusement because he's gotten you upset.

Unless you find something positive and redeeming about the guy, including his willingness to take his meds and work on self-improvement, then I'd advise taking the high road and break up. If he's unwilling to improve or take his meds, then you're on an endless road to self destruction. Consider your own needs first.

demfabbones
07-16-11, 06:14 PM
Being immature is one thing; being a jerk is another. I'm not saying he IS a jerk, but if he is or when he acts like one, don't let his immaturity and/or ADHD be an excuse. Some of those things sound more mean than immature - I'm pretty sure most kids would understand there was no need to be jealous of an animal, so that to me sounds more like jerkiness than immaturity.

I'm immature (at age 28) and probably will always be behind my peers in emotional intelligence. But there are also times when I know I'm acting silly and I do it for just pure entertainment. There are times when this is okay and funny and fun, and there are times when I know it annoys the crap out of those around me. He has to learn to regulate, and part of that is taking meds.

As you said, you yourself have ADHD and you don't act this way. So why does he get to use it as an excuse?

At a certain point, people have to help themselves and have to stop using their disabilities, disorders, etc. as an excuse. I dated a guy who was depressed. I stayed with him for quite awhile and tried to help him through it. It got to the point where I fought with him about everything because he just. wouldn't. do. anything. to. help. himself.

Good luck...

eclectic beagle
07-17-11, 09:55 PM
There have been instances on this very forum that exemplify "emotional disregulation" as the individual in that video called it. I've been guilty of it myself, on this forum, and many others. I've seen others here act just fine--calm as the lethe river--until their opinion has been challenged by others. They acted as I would've, to an extent. I seem to lack much of the ability to suppress emotion, even moreso than the average ADHD peer.

This is why I hate internet forums, I've encountered more hostility in them than in the vagaries of real life. Most of what I encounter online is impulsivity, over-estimation of knowledge, with only a few generally educated individuals. I can't claim such virtue, and can't help but respond like the worst of them. Severe ADHD and a grossly disadvantegous environment was my downfall. I seem to have the self-confidence boosting environment on another forum, that I actually frequent, but certain members become frustrated when they realize that pattern of someone with pervasively low self-esteem and emotional control. It's like there's no way out for me, and I know certain people would just love to see me crumble into despair.

Unmanagable
07-17-11, 09:58 PM
As a 44 yr old that works with muti-diagnosed teens, it makes my day to hear students say, "Wow, she really gets us. She's a lot like us!!!" :)

LOL

If you only knew.

The "upside" is that,even though I'll be 61yo in Sept., I am perfectly suited


to my case load of adolescents and young adults, as rapport is everything

in therapy. ;)

tc

mctavish23

(Robert)

addrian2011
08-22-11, 01:45 AM
So if Im 33 and I apply the 30% rule to my age where would that put me, about? Im horrible at math. :o

I feel like Im maybe 25 but I behave even younger than that. I still watch cartoons every day. I still eat captain crunch every day. I still have muppet charters on my PJs. And I love foot long bubble gum!

This is so great that Im not the only one! Here's to another reason I love this place!

sarek
08-22-11, 02:17 AM
Well, 33 minus 30% would come to about 23.

I think what OP described is to some extent attributable to ADHD. Just be sure not to let him use it as an excuse too much. That can be tempting for some.

I am also not too happy with what he did to your dog and cat. How is he with other animals?

sarahsweets
08-22-11, 02:50 AM
Well, 33 minus 30% would come to about 23.

I think what OP described is to some extent attributable to ADHD. Just be sure not to let him use it as an excuse too much. That can be tempting for some.

I am also not too happy with what he did to your dog and cat. How is he with other animals?
Does the 30% rule apply to physical aging? I really wouldn't mind looking like I'm 23.

Honeybadger
08-22-11, 05:16 AM
It's funny how I've grown into the most socially responsible person I've ever met, other than my dad. I really don't feel how I act to other people though. It's all a show, because I know that if I act how I feel all the time, I'd just **** everyone off to the point that they wouldn't want to be around me anymore.

My girlfriend's ex was the most childish 22 year old ADD kid I've ever seen.

Women and men traditionally express their ADD very, very differently.

Contrary to what others have said here about not letting him use his ADD as an excuse, there is more to it than that. ADD children are EXTRAORDINARILY influenced by their surroundings and upbringing, and without structure and firm, constant reinforcement, the ADD will take control and create a personality of poor impulse control that may not even remotely represent them as people.

All of the things you describe that he does are influencing his dopamine levels. He acts the way he does as a form of self medication. Similarly my step-dad fits ADD criteria to an unimaginable degree, but nobody has ever brought it up because he would likely fly off the handle at the suggestion. As a result, he's developed self-medication mechanisms because he's completely unmedicated. He picks up/drops hobbies faster than I can keep track of them, he has the most amazing degree of blinding rage that I've ever seen in a person sometimes, he procrastinates until the very last second and is a bona-fide adrenaline junkie)

That's not to say that you should just allow it all. Enabling is just as bad. But it may not necessarily be his fault, and you would be better channeling those negative emotions felt towards how he acts into helping him resolve them.

Unfortunately, the only way he'll improve is not by you simply compensating for his failings, nor will nagging or holding negative emotions towards him. People get defensive and angry when they feel even the slightest bit accused, and ADD people even moreso, because we thrive on the adrenaline brought on by conflict. It sounds to me like it's not his fault as a person, rather, his condition and his upbringing.

Why doesn't he take his meds? Forgetfulness? Negative side effects? If it's the former, have him take his pills when you do. If it's the latter, have him talk to his psychiatrist about changing medications (a perfect dose of the right med should have zero side effects for 99% of people)

And be supportive and encouraging about getting him to see a behavioral psychiatrist. But you can't do it alone. Talk to his parents and his friends, and have unanimous, clear, supportive pressure from all sides that he would be much happier if he did. If he resists, then a reasonable ultimatum may be necessary (not saying "stop being a jerk or I'll dump you", rather, saying "If you don't see your psychiatrist about getting your meds changed around, no sex for two months!")

Crazygirl79
08-23-11, 03:24 AM
1: Like the other posters have said it is quiet normal for someone with ADD/ADHD (I have ADHD myself) to be more immature that their non ADD/ADHD counterparts with or without medication, however the meds would slow someone down a little.

2: If you truly love or even like this guy then you will take the time to understand him better rather than judging and criticising him, setting more clear boundaries would be a good idea too.

3: Set clear and strong boundaries in regards to your pets, what he is doing is a form of animal cruelty and he needs to be made fully aware of that.

4: If he drives you crazy and is annoying for the most part then perhaps you should reassess your relationship and who knows maybe you're wrong for each other, having an immature boyfriend can be damn annoying but having a critical and judgmental girlfriend can be just as damn annoying.

Just remember everyone is different, everyone has their good points and everyone has their bad points including you!

SelenaMy boyfriend has ADHD and doesn't like taking his medication. We are both 20 years old. When he doesn't take his med's he really aggravates me even more than he does when he is on them. Its like i'm not his girlfriend, i'm his babysitter.

Some examples just from yesterday..
-He gets bossy with everything. When we try and play video games, it just makes me not want to play with him and i tell him.. "you can just play yourself then" and then he fakes being sad. He puts his head down and makes a sad face. He drives me crazy.
-He's like hypomanic when he gets really really excited. We went on one of the rides at a theme park and it was like he was high on some kinda drug. He screams in my ears "OMG OMG" He just overdo's it.
-He freaked out at my little dog and chased him under my bed and was just screaming at him and he terrified the poor little guy. He nipped back because he was being harassed and cornered (he never bites or growls unless you try and take away his bone or toy, he just has an attitude but is extremely loveable.) He treats him like crap because apparently I baby my dog too much and I guess he is jealous.
-My little dog chases the cats so he put my dog and one of the cats in a cardboard box together just for the hell of it.. wtf.. Probably traumatized my cat and could have given either two a heart attack. Imagine being in a cardboard box with a bear?

I have adhd and im just getting medicated now. I NEVER act this bad even off my meds.
How can a 20 year old adhd guy act so childish. Adhd cannot be an excuse for acting this bad...

Please help me to understand this guy. I like him but he is just annoying.

DanaDane
08-23-11, 09:15 AM
-My little dog chases the cats so he put my dog and one of the cats in a cardboard box together just for the hell of it.. wtf..

That not adhd - that's just EVIL! Just let him in a cardboard box with ME!!! :mad::mad::mad:

Hyperman87
08-23-11, 11:57 AM
So if Im 33 and I apply the 30% rule to my age where would that put me, about? Im horrible at math. :o

I feel like Im maybe 25 but I behave even younger than that. I still watch cartoons every day. I still eat captain crunch every day. I still have muppet charters on my PJs. And I love foot long bubble gum!

This is so great that Im not the only one! Here's to another reason I love this place! I totally agree and understand Addrian. Cause I'm 23 and still feel like a 15 year old sometimes or at least for me that is when I feel I got stuck developmentally.

addrian2011
08-23-11, 12:16 PM
LOL Umm, thanks for the invite Hyperman but, no. Nothing personal but Im here just for support with my ADHD. However, I am happy to be your friend on the forums! :)

AddaptAbilities
08-23-11, 02:54 PM
I agree with other posters who are deeply concerned by his cruelty to your pets. There is NO EXCUSE for that behavior. Ever.

This is the thing that jumped out at me suggesting that he has other issues. He clearly sees these animals as toys, things that he can use to amuse himself, instead of as separate beings who are capable of emotions -- like utter terror at being shut up in a cardboard box with another animal! This shows a total lack of empathy on his part.

If you stay in this relationship, I agree with the previous poster who said that you need to set clear boundaries around his self-care (finding a med that works/taking the meds he has), your interactions (you'll play video games with him if he "plays nice"), and ESPECIALLY the way he treats your pets. Maybe he actually needs some education about animals; how they communicate (I bet your dog gave him several warnings before nipping him that he completely ignored), what sort of behavior to expect from them, and how to "play nice" with them too.

Crazygirl79
08-23-11, 05:15 PM
*Puts on the qualified animal care workers cap on* The cruelty to pets may be caused by the immaturity and if so then he probably will wake up and realise what he's doing is wrong he may think it's amusing without realising that the animals are distressed and not enjoying this kind of play, in this case you could point that out to him and suggest other forms of enrichment that the animals will actually enjoy and be comfortable participating in. However if he does have a deeper issue that makes him compelled to commit cruelty to animals then you might need to consider limiting or stopping the interaction between your man and your pets as most animal abuse does graduate to human abuse, it's a well known fact, a lot of sociopath types don't have a true conscience, they do not have empathy for humans let alone animals and being cruel to an animal or a human is nothing more than a cheap thrill to these sorts of people.

By the way I'am NOT your man is a sociopath or the like, I am merely explaining animal cruelty and how it usually comes about but at the same time I am also pointing out that if someone is immature like you say your man is then it is also likely that he may harmlessly think he's playing with them and not fully realising that his behaviour is actually stressing your pets right out, either way it has to STOP NOW!

Selena

PinkRoxy
08-26-11, 03:22 AM
For the OP
I'm 25 now so Ive kind of matured more.

But when I was about 18 or 19 even 20 I would act like that too, I didnt know much about ADHD being undiagnosed and not beign on medication I still remember being too hyperactive and acting like a child still.
I didnt know how to control my energy and was always on the go, I still am but can disguise it more and Ive learnt to try and relax more too.
Anyway I use to do crazy things and I remember making friends because I was so over friendly and then they would only last like a week until they got sick of me and left me because I was too annoying.

I cant really offer much help sorry just that I know where he is coming from, he may just have excess energy he needs to get off his chest whether he trys other activities at night like sport or go to the local pool for a swim or even join a gym as this usually worked for me.

I cn understand how annoying it must be, I use to drive my parents and friends insane with my restlessness and sometimes I still do if I have excess of it and nothing to do.

But hang in there things should get better as he gets older.

danpan
08-26-11, 12:23 PM
I don't think it's unusual. I can be pretty immature. Actually, this morning, I sent my girlfriend a pretty mean email because she told me she didn't like that I looked up reviews on the college she wants to go to, or something. It's still hard for me to accept that I did anything wrong, but hey, we're all entitled to our feelings. It took me a couple hours to finally get that through my head.

The only thing I can tell you is that yeah, it's probably common, but all you can really do is ask yourself if the relationship is worth it. If it is, you just need to accept it as a fact of life, not expect change, be happy with what you have, and then, and only then, try to work toward a better understanding. You won't get anywhere with a hostile or demanding attitude... just look at how well it helps your BF get through to you.

If it's not worth it, then move on.

Just my two cents...

ginniebean
08-26-11, 12:36 PM
Y'know, after raising two boys.. who always had 2-3 friends over I can pretty clearly state from my personal experience that boys of 20 yrs old can act super mature one minute and then are back on the carpet playing silly with toys.

So, in my opinion.. it's pretty normal.

Conman
08-26-11, 05:33 PM
21 is where maturity usually takes place. well...for me it'll be like 25 is the new 21

PinkRoxy
08-27-11, 02:02 AM
That video says alot about me. I was always immature for my age growing up, always acting younger than what I was.
I didnt start noticing the mature me until I reached about 22 or 23 yrs of age.
I still have moments where I like to act immature but I would still say I am more mature and responsible now than I was back then.

pedalpounder
08-27-11, 02:20 AM
Maturity is for bean counters.