View Full Version : hi we're new!

07-21-11, 12:48 PM
Hi everyone,

I hope its ok to post here as we haven't had a diagnosis?

My ds is 5. I have just got back the conners rating scale (revised S) completed by his teacher, and I'm sitting looking at the one I am supposed to complete and feeling a bit daunted, I think I'm most worried that it will come back as he has adhd.
The one from school has come back with a total of 61, this is only the raw score though, I'm not sure how they work this out into the other scores, but does anyone know if this seems normal or high?

I think he might have adhd, as thats what the school and paed and psychologist have been hinting at but I think I might be in denial, some days I just think that hes just busy and a little boy, but other times I'm not so sure.

We have been under the hospital since he was about 2 as he has suspected aspergers as well, but they have said he is borderline for this, so no diagnosis, which I am relieved about, but its hard to tell what is causing different behaviours as he seems to have a mismash of problems.

He is quite a bit behind in his learning at school, which is i think what I'm most concerned about, is this common with children with adhd? Its frustrating as he seems clever but just doesnt seem to be learning as he should.

Anyway, thats a brief outline of us, the whole story wouldnt fit :rolleyes:
but it would be amazing to talk to other people who have been through or are going through a similar thing, its hard to do on your own!

em x x x

07-21-11, 02:56 PM
ADHD, Aspergers, and SPD have overlapping symptoms which makes them difficult to differentiate, particularly in such a young child.

I recommend a clinic like this ( -- that can evaluate for ADHD, Aspergers, SPD, and learning disabilities; the eval involved a developmental-behavioral pediatrician, speech language pathologist, and a psychologist who did the cognitive evaluation.

It isn't a characteristic of ADHD to be behind in school; there are symptoms that can result in this (inattentiveness, impulsiveness, hyperactivity), but it isn't a given. However, I did read that ADHDer's are more likely to have learning disabilities. Ds' Kindergarten teacher said that he already knew the curriculum for K, which wasn't quite true, but he could read at a 2nd grade level and had a few other skills that were advanced for his age. But---it was reallllllllllllllly difficult to get him to complete assignments, and he didn't pay attention/cooperate with testing, so it skewed her perception of his abilities until we pointed out what he was doing.

07-21-11, 03:09 PM
Of course it's okay to join in if you haven't gotten a diagnosis yet. There is lots of helpful information here.

I recommend you start with Dizfriz's Corner (, there's an article there about having a hard time accepting the diagnosis, and information on how best to parent ADHD kids, and especially The 30% Rule which explains why your son seems more like a 3 year old at times and struggles to learn what other 5 year olds are learning.

Another good resource is the "You Know Your Child is ADHD when..." ( sticky thread - you might find you're familiar with a lot of stuff in that thread.

07-21-11, 03:25 PM
hi thanks for replying.

We have been seen at a child development centre since he was about two, currently seeing, developmental paed, clinical psychologist, speech and languge, ot and physio.
The connors scale is I think a step towards the diagnosis as everyone else has assesed him, its just scary thinking that we might actually get a diagnosis, thats why I was wondering about the score, just to prepare myself.
I know the concentration is a big issue in school I'm sure it is affecting his learning, the school seem to have exsausted their (and Mine) ideas on how to help him focus, sit still ect etc... hes not really acheiving his IEP targets (an example of one is stay on the carpet for 3 mins) and I know things are going to get much worse next year when he's actually expected to sit and work for more than a couple of minutes. I know hes had alot of 1 on 1 support this year and the school are hoping to get a statement in place at some point, but that might be a long way off, and I'm worried that I'm going to get called into school frequently and that hes going to get into lots of trouble for behaviours that he cannot control.

At home he can be really hard work, but I think I'm used to it, we have lots of stratagies in place, like visual timetables, and hes on melatonin, which i have to say has been a miracle, his bed time has gone from past midnight to 7ish :D!
A problem is that alot of the advice we have been given has been to combat the asperger symptoms (visual timetables, pecs, social stories ect) and I'm still not entirely sure how to deal with the adhd area of problems, (like aggressive outbursts, not willing to focus on homework, completely disorganised, absolutely no safety awareness, just endless energy) which tbh I'm finding the most hard work!

thanks x

07-21-11, 03:37 PM
Thanks lunacie its good to know its ok to post some places can be really selective, you have to have a diagnosis to do anything, which is a nightmare when they dont fall into one catagory!

the link is fab, I can definately relate to lots of the experiences.
I will have a good read through the other info, shall be up late into the night I think!

I think I'm going to be brave now and fill in the connors scale now the kids are in bed, once its done its done! It just makes me feel so guilty that I'm highlighting all ds's bad bits and none of the brilliant bits about him.

x x x

Lady Lark
07-22-11, 11:41 AM
It's scary to get a diagnosis, but in a lot of ways it's a huge relief too. Here was proof that I wasn't going insane, I really was seeing the problems I was seeing, and it wasn't me just being a horrible parent.

Daunting, yes. But at least with a reason we could then start taking steps to fix things, as best we can.

07-22-11, 05:13 PM
A problem is that alot of the advice we have been given has been to combat the asperger symptoms (visual timetables, pecs, social stories ect) and I'm still not entirely sure how to deal with the adhd area of problems, (like aggressive outbursts, not willing to focus on homework, completely disorganised, absolutely no safety awareness, just endless energy) which tbh I'm finding the most hard work!

It's not a problem (behavior mods are important), but apparently it's not enough. Ds started medication in 1st grade; the first med (Concerta) improved things immediately, but problems cropped up a couple month later. Med #2 (Vyvanse) was even better, and with one dosage increase (and Omega-3 sup) ds was almost like an average 1st grader--though we didn't get this figured out until May.

If ADHD is a factor, he doesn't yet have the ability to make use of all those tools (IEP, behavior mods, etc.); medication may be what is missing.

Another reason why a diagnosis is important is that some expectations may be unrealistic/inappropriate. Ds' accommodations centered around getting him to participate and do his work without being disruptive. If this required not sitting on the carpet and standing in the background, or standing up to do his work, then that is what happened.

If your ds hasn't had special education testing I would request it in writing. SE would give him procedural protections regarding behavior. Requesting something in writing (certified mail) generally triggers a timeline (depending on the request/law).

Key Differences Between Section 504, the ADA, and the IDEA. (

( (

Key Differences Between Section 504 and IDEA (

( (

Is a Child with ADD/ADHD Eligible for Special Education? - Wrightslaw (

Parents as Experts (http://http//

Special Education Law and Advocacy (

Handling a Manifestation Determination Review (

Crisis Management, Step-by-Step - Wrightslaw (

07-24-11, 01:34 PM
We did CS too for DD. It isn't near as detailed as a full psych workup, but don't be fearful of it. Just gather all the information and opinions you can, all the tests and all the opinions. You will need all of them through each step of the process.


07-25-11, 01:54 PM
thanks everyone,
I have sent the conners scales off to the paed now so things are moving along.

I'm not sure the same rules apply for additional needs in schools in the uk as America? Its sooo complicated here, just getting an assesment to get extra support is a nightmare. The school are providing as much 1:1 support as possible, but they have to be at least 2-3 years behind academically to get the funded 1:1 support :mad:. Its soo frustrating the professionals and school agree the system is not good but theres not much we can do about it. He is on the special needs register for school, and on action + so they are very much aware of his needs and good in terms of treating him accordingly and bearing in mind the problems, however I understand that if he is very disryptive or aggressive then he will disrupt the rest of the class, which I think is likely to happen as he moves into year one where hes expected to sit down and the teachering is not play centered.

x x x