View Full Version : Have you been Emotionally Abused by your parents?


StoicNate
08-19-11, 12:50 AM
You don't need to reply. Just answer "Yes" or "No" on the poll.

PinkRoxy
08-19-11, 04:52 AM
Yes I have.
THey do it so many times that I am just numb to their comments now. But I do know that they love me and I love them and they are great parents in many different ways. They are usually frustrated when they say horrible words which I understand but then I get frustrated at myself for not being a better person and not letting them get frustrated over me. I always wondered they would be better without me in their life but they would be devastated if I commited suicide.
Life is complicated and I would say its a 50 50 that we are on good terms and when we are not.

sarek
08-19-11, 05:51 AM
Not deliberately no. Neither they nor I had any idea what was wrong with me and they gave me every opportunity and tried everything to help me through.

Back then, over twentyfive years ago, the word ADD did not even exist so how could anyone have known?

Impetus
08-19-11, 06:25 AM
Not deliberately no. Neither they nor I had any idea what was wrong with me and they gave me every opportunity and tried everything to help me through.

Back then, over twentyfive years ago, the word ADD did not even exist so how could anyone have known?

ah yes, intent.... that's a toughy. my mother did some pretty twisted stuff to me. (once she sat me down with a math workbook and set the kitchen timer. when time was up, I got one spank ,with a wooden spoon, for every problem that was wrong or unanswered.) BUT she's bat guano crazy!

my dad, well he was probably just more along the lines of neglectful.

objectively, they were crippled by their own childhood and illnesses.

subjectively, why wasn't i worth fighting for? (as in fighting against their own demons)

Conman
08-19-11, 07:20 AM
my parents have been very kind and supporting of me and my interests/goals. they just get frustrated by my antics frequently because im 17, and still like making noise for example among other thing

cattail
08-19-11, 02:29 PM
not knowingly or intentionally but yes and in some ways still do. I just came on here to get some support after dealing with my mother. I have never liked loud irritating noises, particularly when inside and dealing with a lot of people/issues at once. My brother was playing loud horns and sirens on his phone and I asked them to stop because it was really irritating. She said to me for about the 100th time, "take valium, its a miracle, nothing will bother you if you take it, don't wait until you are 62 to discover it". Her idea of mental health is to have no reactions or responses or emotions about anything. My response was, "I am allowed to have likes and dislikes and ask for people to not do things that bother me." To which I get eye rolls. Seriously? I guess it is more emotional neglect since they refuse to acknowledge my needs or emotions and just want me to have none.

anonymouslyadd
08-19-11, 03:09 PM
ah yes, intent.... that's a toughy. my mother did some pretty twisted stuff to me. (once she sat me down with a math workbook and set the kitchen timer. when time was up, I got one spank ,with a wooden spoon, for every problem that was wrong or unanswered.) BUT she's bat guano crazy!

my dad, well he was probably just more along the lines of neglectful.

objectively, they were crippled by their own childhood and illnesses.

subjectively, why wasn't i worth fighting for? (as in fighting against their own demons)

When I look at my childhood, it's really tempting to believe they meant to hurt me (my mom and dad had issues too). The reality is, I don't think they had a clue as to what they were doing, and they were extremely unhealthy.


My mom said the following to me:
You're lazy
You're manipulative
You're argumentative
You're just like you're father (how terrible.......the man she was married to for about 14 years).
You're destructive.
I watched her leave a message on my dad's answering maching saying, "I'm transferring Anon to you." She even had my younger brothers and sister gang up on me with their words. I was being raised by an emotionally immature person.

She made me not tell my dad anything about her at a very young age. I had a ton of pressure for me. It makes me wish for her death as I type. She's lucky I didn't kill her.

My dad was a little better, but he had his moments. I can remember a time when I was like 8ish that he had this "talk" with me. I wasn't calling him dad at the time, and he was upset, which I can understand. However, he kind of dumped all of his emotional s*** onto me for that. Conversations like that should not occur, but they did. Looking back I could see his frustration, but why would he have a conversation with me like that when I was so young? That's why I cried when I read the guidelines expected from someone who was a member of Big Brothers Big Sisters. Everything I was going to need to do, I never received.

I know where I struggle and for the most part why. When I think about the why, it's really hard for me to look positively upon anything they do. It's one thing to have ADD, but it's quite another to have multiple injuries, which I have. I'm glad I have my breathing techniques and medicine.


They have really paid a huge price for their failings. What is shocking is how they haven't learned from their past mistakes.

Here are the facts:
My brother moved out of my mom's when he was thirteen
I moved out of my mom's when I was sixteen
My brother does not want to do anything with her
My dad doesn't talk to his first two kids
Both of my parents have been divorced at least once, my dad twice
It sucks that the anger is there inside me, and I can't really say anything to them about it now. They still can't handle it!!!!!!!!! What losers.

Lunacie
08-19-11, 03:17 PM
They didn't know what was wrong - very few were diagnosed 50 years ago
- and there wasn't much in the way of treatment then anyway.

But yeah, a lot of what I'm reading here so far is the kind of attitude I got
as a kid - and as an adult from my hubby as well. My self-esteem still sucks.

StoicNate
08-19-11, 03:22 PM
Well, my parents point out to other parents or people/friends my faults right in front of me...as well as doing other things.
In a biting manner.

"Oh yeah, he's the one with the mental problems" "Oh, he only makes bad friends or none at all" "So yeah, Nate here STILL doesn't know what to do in life...can you help him out?" "He should of been put in a mental institution as a child"

AND they tell me how horribly not "normal" I am and how I should of been aborted when they had the chance.

I don't think I'll ever get over this, since this has been going on for 22 years and still going strong.

Can you tell how destructive this is to one's self-worth? I don't even have any.
How can anybody be socially/mentally ok with this going on for so long?

selita
08-19-11, 03:23 PM
Yes. Not intentionally. In fact, usually with the best intentions.

My mom had her own issues. Undiagnosed ADD, my older sister's issues, a stressful job, health problems, a not exactly amicable divorce, etc.

I was basically a benign kid but I wasn't easy to raise. She really, desperately wanted me to go to university. And I had a disability she didn't understand in the slightest.

I applaud you parents who do your best to understand what ADHD is and how to medicate and treat it properly for life. My mom basically said, "Oh, so that's what it is. Surely you'll be successful now that you know!" and then we both forgot about it within a few months and she never really thought about what it meant for me. I didn't have the maturity to understand it.

So I slid into depression, lost all my friends, failed classes, skipped school... and she just yelled at me and made me feel like no one was on my side at all

A lot of pressure, blame, misplaced anger, etc. I love my mom and we get along really well 95% of the time, but if you ask if she emotionally abused me, then yes, she definitely did.

And the worst part of that? I'm starting to be mean to her.

ETA: I once told a prof (in a psychology class on women's issues) that ADHD increased the risk of abuse. She said, "Oh, yes, I suppose impulsive or hyperactive parents might be more abusive." "No," I said, "I mean that children with ADHD are more likely to be abused than their siblings," and she looked at me like I'd just told her her chair was made of fishsticks.

Lunacie
08-19-11, 03:50 PM
Well, my parents point out to other parents or people/friends my faults right in front of me...as well as doing other things.
In a biting manner.

"Oh yeah, he's the one with the mental problems" "Oh, he only makes bad friends or none at all" "So yeah, Nate here STILL doesn't know what to do in life...can you help him out?" "He should of been put in a mental institution as a child"

AND they tell me how horribly not "normal" I am and how I should of been aborted when they had the chance.

I don't think I'll ever get over this, since this has been going on for 22 years and still going strong.

Can you tell how destructive this is to one's self-worth? I don't even have any.
How can anybody be socially/mentally ok with this going on for so long?

Whoa! And they their behavior is "normal?" :confused:

I'm sorry that you don't have better parents. :(

NikkiElizabeth
08-19-11, 03:59 PM
I wasn't emotionally abused by my birth parents, but my step mom used to call me fat while I was eating when I was a kid, like age 7-10 and do things like leave hostess treats under my bed just to see if I would eat them, then basically laugh at me when I did find it and eat it. like seriously! what little kid WOULDN'T eat a perfectly fine, wrapped ding dong? lol ... just me? I've been overweight my entire life, like seriously infancy through present day. I'm the only "obese" person in my family (but I carry well and like to call it curvy :P haha) so I was always taken to dietitians, getting blood tests done almost yearly because I just kept gaining weight as I got older, that step mom even took me to have acupuncture done when I was 10 years old. My dad hurt me emotionally just by not believing me when I told him about this.

StoicNate
08-19-11, 04:04 PM
Whoa! And they their behavior is "normal?" :confused:

I'm sorry that you don't have better parents. :(

Since I was a child and even now, I saw my friends getting affection and just nice things said to them from their parents.
You know..just nice little things. Compliments. Things that meant that parents cared for their children.
I thought that was nice. I felt happy for them. I then looked at my situation and felt bad.

I don't think I ever been hugged voluntarily by my parents as a child...unless I try to hug then they reluctantly hugged me.
It didn't feel genuine at all.

OR if they really hurt me by "accident"..they try to hug me, but it just felt wrong to me.

They just did the bare minimum. Food, clothes, drive me to school, that's all.
It made it look like they were going out of their way to do those things.

AND they expect me to be socially/mentally ok.

My parents only liked other people's kids...the kids that were "normal" and are successful in life.
"Nate, why aren't you like him?"

Impetus
08-19-11, 07:18 PM
Well, my parents point out to other parents or people/friends my faults right in front of me...as well as doing other things.
In a biting manner.

"Oh yeah, he's the one with the mental problems" "Oh, he only makes bad friends or none at all" "So yeah, Nate here STILL doesn't know what to do in life...can you help him out?" "He should of been put in a mental institution as a child"

AND they tell me how horribly not "normal" I am and how I should of been aborted when they had the chance.



ok, that's just twisted. I mean really, who says that?? you're parents are jacked up, not you. AND they are totally letting their ******tery hang out for everyone to see.

NT's call it manners to tolerate and be nice to crazy people. No one believes them.

anonymouslyadd
08-19-11, 07:25 PM
Well, my parents point out to other parents or people/friends my faults right in front of me...as well as doing other things.
In a biting manner.

"Oh yeah, he's the one with the mental problems" "Oh, he only makes bad friends or none at all" "So yeah, Nate here STILL doesn't know what to do in life...can you help him out?" "He should of been put in a mental institution as a child"

AND they tell me how horribly not "normal" I am and how I should of been aborted when they had the chance.

I don't think I'll ever get over this, since this has been going on for 22 years and still going strong.

Can you tell how destructive this is to one's self-worth? I don't even have any.
How can anybody be socially/mentally ok with this going on for so long?


That aint right man. That's just not right. You don't deserve to be treated that way. They are putting you down like a a****** classmate from high school would.

It's very destructive to someone's self-worth. I think that's where our self-worth comes from (parents). I'm sorry for what you have been through.

They are destructive and downright degrading.

dsvlil1
08-19-11, 07:32 PM
The first time I met my partners parents his father proceded to tell me what a disappointment his son was to him. I was quietly livid, but it certainly made me understand why my partner is so supportive of me when it comes to my emotionally abusive family.

There has been nothing more healing than the validation from another person that it's not all in my head and "yes" they are abusing me.

Louder Than Love
08-19-11, 09:06 PM
It's nothing I want to repeat, or hasn't already been said. but it's extremely damaging to a persons self esteem, I KNOW. without a doubt, i can lay the blame on my my social awkwardness, and outright despite for my own self image on my mother.

doiadhd
08-19-11, 09:24 PM
Yes,both my parents did at different stages of my life. And now i have had my own child with my partners parents living next door both of them did it to me also. At 31 years of age. Had nothing on my parents though. A lot more cunning and shrewd about it though. If add it's to try and get some thing out of us. If adhd its to calm us down. Us being i reckon I've been both. As most will travel from adhd in childhood to add in adulthood in my opinion. . .Which is all that counts I've since learnt :)

Rebelyell
08-19-11, 09:26 PM
I think I emotionally abused them more then theyy did to me.I'm not sure if it was emotional abuse or not.My parents were very critical of me,High standards.My mom would say its not a putdown were trying to help you.Its called constructive criticism,Id be constructive criticism my @ss,more like destructive criticism.

BR549
08-20-11, 03:26 AM
"Oh yeah, he's the one with the mental problems" "Oh, he only makes bad friends or none at all" "So yeah, Nate here STILL doesn't know what to do in life...can you help him out?" "He should of been put in a mental institution as a child"

AND they tell me how horribly not "normal" I am and how I should of been aborted when they had the chance.

Really?!?!? I can't imagine what your parents expect, since it appears that they've not given you any encouragement or showed you compassion or love.

I know these are your parents and I apologize for saying any disparaging things about them, but what they say to you really chaps my ***. What is their definition of normal? Is it themselves? Because what they say to you and how they treat you isn't normal. It appears that they are battling some personal demons. But those demons aren't you. You are just the scapegoat, unfortunately.

Nate, I want you to know right now that you are NOT what they say. You are NOT how they may perceive you. You are a wonderful, intelligent, unique human being with so much to offer the world. If they can't see you the way we see you, then they never will. You cannot judge yourself by their words. Because what they say to you and about you simply isn't true.

I know that you are trying to change your circumstances, but getting out of their house would be the healthiest thing for you. You shouldn't have to subject yourself to their degradation any longer.

but my step mom used to call me fat while I was eating when I was a kid, like age 7-10 and do things like leave hostess treats under my bed just to see if I would eat them, then basically laugh at me when I did find it and eat it. like seriously! what little kid WOULDN'T eat a perfectly fine, wrapped ding dong?

I know exactly what you are saying. I was overweight as a child. When I was 12 I basically ate nothing but lettuce all summer so that I could lose weight before I started junior high. My mom thought (still thinks) that was just so wonderful. She talks about that to this day. As if it were the greatest thing that I've ever done. That was some of the most positive attention I received from her. She doesn't know about my laxative abuse in high school or when I would not eat for days at a time and exercise a lot to stay super thin. She also believes that you just quit eating to lose weight, that being overweight is terrible and that your partner will leave if you are overweight. You aren't pretty if you are overweight. It's nothing for her to say to my sister, "you'd be so much prettier if you weren't so fat. I'm surprised [sister's husband] doesn't leave you since you've gained so much weight." That's just the tip of the iceberg for her. My dad used to make fun of my weight and get my mom to chime in.

I was locked in closets for punishments when I was a toddler, told that if I didn't straighten up someone would come and take me from them, stuff like that. I never got one swat. It was 5-20 with a belt. Bare bottom. Over dumb things. From 1st grade on, I got myself ready for school. My mom made no attempt to get me ready or see me off. She says she didn't want to deal with morning 'arguments'. My sister woke me up and then I got ready and got myself to the bus. My parents were asleep when I left in the mornings. My sister moved out when I was 9 or 10. Then I had to set an alarm clock and wake myself up.

My dad would always tell me that I wasn't going to amount to anything when I grew up, not have a pot to **** in or a window to throw it out of. If he wasn't telling me that I couldn't do anything right, he was always pushing me away, like I was an irritant, then praising my sister and interacting with her. That sort of thing. I was an inconvenience and an annoyance to my parents. This is just some of the tamer stuff the did.

The thing is, after years of being told we are this or that or we can't do this or or that, we believe it. It's taken me 42 years (and lots of therapy) to figure out that I'm okay. I'm nothing like my parents said I would be. I was nothing like my parents said I was when I was younger. The kicker? My mom is 83 and she now lives with me. I have to take care of her. I resent the fact that I have to take care of someone who didn't take care of me.

Johnnny
08-20-11, 05:54 AM
My mom played alot of mind games on me while i was growing up, and i hated it. Its too bad too, because i learned to screw with peoples minds and emotions like her. I became the monster >_<!!!!!!

mctavish23
08-23-11, 10:38 PM
I developed selective mutism around the age of 5, from trauma.

tc

mctavish23

(Robert)

cattail
08-23-11, 10:55 PM
thanks OP for starting this thread! It has been really helpful for me to read other's similar experiences. I recently read the book "Overcoming Toxic Parents" and it sounds like it may be really helpful to a lot of others here too. Even though my parents were not blatantly and overtly abusive, they still did and continue to do hurtful things and treat me like it is my problem that I don't accept or value what they try and offer. I didn't realize how much they, and a the "beliefs" they had instilled in me were guiding my life. Like the belief that I was lazy and talked too much and needed to be thin for people to like me. I mean, come on, I know that all isn't true but man I was sure living my life on those beliefs. So glad to be letting that go!

Anyway, it is called "Overcoming Toxic Parents" or something very similar. You can get it on Kindle. Another is called, "The Dilemma of a Gifted Child" not really so much about being a smart kid, but about how kids read what their parents want from them to be accepted and learn how to modify their thoughts and emotions to please their parents needs. Interesting read.

These books have really helped me let go of the false "truths" and "beliefs" I was unconsciously using to judge myself and others and has really helped me a lot with my sense of self worth. I hope they can be helpful to others as well.

Best
Cat

Canuck223
08-24-11, 06:43 PM
Not really. My mother has some interesting personality issues, but I think I learned more from dealing with them.

anonymouslyadd
08-24-11, 06:54 PM
The thing is, after years of being told we are this or that or we can't do this or or that, we believe it. It's taken me 42 years (and lots of therapy) to figure out that I'm okay. I'm nothing like my parents said I would be. I was nothing like my parents said I was when I was younger. The kicker? My mom is 83 and she now lives with me. I have to take care of her. I resent the fact that I have to take care of someone who didn't take care of me.

I love this post. Tell me what got your over the hump to feeling "okay." I think I'm in the same boat as you. I don't think I'm good enough because of the amount of criticism I faced. Rarely, if ever, was I told I was fine as is.

I think what normally happens in decent, somewhat functional households, the child learns they are ok by BOTH parents. Then, as they get older, they always have their parents perspective of them in their minds. Their parents thoughts about them give support when they feel down on themselves.

I would love for you to check out my blog entry to see if you can resonate with me.

http://addforums.com/forums/blog.php?b=11615

Alex9
08-24-11, 09:26 PM
I have been, but it wasn't intentional. I even pointed it out to my mom several times, but she denied any wrongdoing. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding, but I felt emotionally abused.

aeon
08-25-11, 03:46 AM
The continual invalidations. The moral judgments. The punitive social isolation. The continual disappointment in me for failing to meet standards no child was capable of. The shaming.

At some point, my childhood self had no way to explain it or understand it other than to internalize it and say “I’m bad.”

I’m 42 now and I don’t think that anymore, but it took years to deprogram myself of those thinking styles.

And then there was the stuff like being absolutely ignored, being locked in the closet, and so on.

That’s the emotional side. There was a physical one too, and it was sometimes brutal.

Tiny mercies perhaps, but at least they didn’t sexually abuse me. No, that was left to people entrusted with my care who were not family.

Thing is, given where I am today, I wouldn’t change a thing if I had to do it over, crazy as that sounds.


cheers,
Ian

Lunacie
08-25-11, 08:46 AM
The hard part, for me, is knowing that I was sometimes emotionally abusive
to my daughter. I loved her to pieces and accepted her unconditionally, but
my ADHD and Anxiety were undiagnosed and untreated, leading to Depression
that was also untreated. I lost my temper very easily and yelled about things
that were no one's fault.

markadd
08-26-11, 10:08 PM
Yes alot of verbal abuse but having a undiagnosed and untreated ADHD mother didn't help and was the cause of most of it.

lateralthinker
08-27-11, 11:03 AM
I spent a lot of time grounded for bad grades. I was told all I needed to do was "buckle down". I eventually did in the latter part of high school and did quite well in college and career-wise likely because I was out of the house. I was on ritalin briefly in 2nd grade but soon taken off - it was well before ADD was recognized like it is now. My father had anger issues and it poured over to how I interacted with others - I had a hard time making and keeping friendships. He still talks to me like I'm a POS.

I can't say that my upbringing cause my ADD but left me with a total lack of coping skills. I still have the lingering anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. I do well career-wise, but family issues; now affecting a wife and child are a constant struggle.

Etcetera
08-30-11, 10:13 AM
I don't know if I should call it abuse. I know my parents love me. My mom would do virtually anything for me. But that doesn't change the fact (I guess) that some things they did were hurtful. And may have scarred me for life.

Abuse is what I would call what my granmother did to my mom. But I didn't grow up all happy either. The fights - they were horrible. My parents were often fighting. Countless times has my mom "left" my dad - to return because she had no where to go, because she couldn't afford it.

The fights were horrible and not only verbal. It still hurts me, to this day. I was alone. I didn't have a sibling to cry with. Or talk to. Or pretend nothing was happening. It was just me. And the dog (who also hid when they were fighting, looking all sad). Me and the dog, we'd lay on the bed, comforting "one another".

I couldn't say it to anyone, because they didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want anyone to know. I just wanted to pretend everything was going to be normal. I still "just" want to pretend everything is normal. While I know it's not.


Also, as most of us, we have been scarred because of the many words that we just don't try hard enough, that we are lazy, that we don't listen. That, if we continue to be like that, we'll fail at life. We'll never find (or hold) a job. That my future husband would not tolerate my inability to tidy up. It is all due to ADHD, I know that much and I really don't blame them. I more blame school, because those comments still stick more. And they should've more seen there was a problem and the problem wasn't "laziness".

Fortunately, I had my granfather (my father's father) who lived next door. With him, every moment was a happy moment. I'd laugh and have fun and he wouldn't be judgemental. I was his only grandchild and to him, I was more than God himself. When he died, when I was 10, a huge part of my childhood innocence died just as well. And so I had my first major depression. My first suicidial thought and plan. To me, he was more than God himself as well.

ADDisme2010
08-30-11, 02:21 PM
Well, my parents point out to other parents or people/friends my faults right in front of me...as well as doing other things.
In a biting manner.

"Oh yeah, he's the one with the mental problems" "Oh, he only makes bad friends or none at all" "So yeah, Nate here STILL doesn't know what to do in life...can you help him out?" "He should of been put in a mental institution as a child"

AND they tell me how horribly not "normal" I am and how I should of been aborted when they had the chance.

I don't think I'll ever get over this, since this has been going on for 22 years and still going strong.

Can you tell how destructive this is to one's self-worth? I don't even have any.
How can anybody be socially/mentally ok with this going on for so long?

Your parents are VERY unhealthy people. They are destructive to your self-esteem. They really are the ones who need to get some help, counseling, and parenting skills. I think it is Horrible that they talk this way to you and about you. I don't know how you could possibly have any respect for them left. You deserve much better than this...my heart hurts for you. (((((hugs))))

stef
08-30-11, 06:11 PM
whoa - I am so sorry for my ranting earlier on here re my family...

NATE that is totally abnormal, what you've been going through
I'm so proud of my son...no words to describe it
we were at the mall laughing in a shoe store yesterday (those new running shoes with "toes" , just struck us funny for some reason)
you and everyone on here, deserve a decent healthy relationship with your parents!

Rebelyell
08-30-11, 08:21 PM
Some 1 years ago hit me up after church w why cant you be good at math and school like your brother.Boy I was stuttering and stammering to come up w an answer then the guy was like Im just kidding you do the best you can.I honestly think this slimeball enjoyed seeing me squirm and I wa smad afterwards,I said next time to my mom Im gonna tell him or any 1 else for the matter to ****off and go **** emselves.My mom was like you better not in church and I was like GOd dont care,its ok for some 1 to downgrade me tho.I dont wanna be like half the idiots I know OMG they are so freaking annoying.

JoeyBJoey
08-31-11, 02:02 PM
I've had some problems with emotional abuse and it's definitely chased me into adult life. I don't know for sure if I'll ever be completely over it. But I think I've improved greatly on my sense of self and self-worth and my ability to love and be loved, which was non-existent throughout much of my twenties.

A couple coping tools that I've used:
- physical fitness, running, weights etc. can be great for self-confidence (not a cure-all by any means, but a relatively easy and relatively quick boost)

- Therapy, years and years of it, maybe your whole life, but so what. It's worth it to be happy.

- Finding the thing you're good at and doing it for all your worth

- Finding ways in which you can help others. There are always people who are worse off than you (no matter what your mother thinks).

- This last one is tricky -- religion. Whether it's Judaism, Hinduism, Satanism, or good ole Fashioned Jesus, I think the community and spiritual exploration that can build out from some kind of organized spiritual practice may offer a much-needed new identity for those of us who've suffered from emotional abuse.

meadd823
09-01-11, 06:58 AM
My parents only liked other people's kids...the kids that were "normal" and are successful in life.
"Nate, why aren't you like him?"

Because YOU aren't their parents! Maybe if you treated me like you at least liked me like their parent do them I wouldn't be so *****ed up -

Then duck. . . . . and run!!!!!!

Yes I was born with the smart a** mouth and attitude.

I used to ask a lot of questions and some times adults would say things like " That's just to make little girls ask questions"

to which I often responded with

"oh so you really don't know the answer either. It's okay to tell me you don't know."

My mother would have to explain to the adult that what pops into my brain comes straight out of my mouth!

Pretty much summoned up my ADHD even though back then little girls didn't have ADHD and if they did it was the parents fault.

My mom got verbally abused because of me but she wasn't abusive to me. My biological dad is a sperm donor, my step dad was abusive emotionally physically and sexually.

So I really couldn't vote because my one parent wasn't abusive but some of those who were in the parenting role during my childhood were - Please remember I am older and my mom didn't have the same rights as women enjoy now days. She couldn't even open a checking account, get a job, credit ect. . . without her husband's permission and subsequent signature. . .

The minute women got equally rights, which was about the time she learned to forge signatures worth a flip she was outta there but by then I was older and pretty much on my own. My mom was good to me but the men she married including but not limited to my biological father sucked.

gerwin
09-01-11, 07:19 AM
Was i adbused?
according to my Pdoc i was, and still am...

From child on I got told I wasn't good enough.
after my parents divorced when i was 12, my Bio-dad called me to tell me that i was too much of a handful during the weekends. he would call me to make a new appointment...... I'm 32 now and dude still never called me.
My mom couldn't cope with me and my ADHD and also never wanted to accept it or get me therapy.... instead she sent me to the US for a year.
when i got home after that year i was told to go get a place of my own, since nobody had time to look after me.
Family Sucks, all they do to present day is put you down and tell you that you're not good enough....
nobody from the family side visits me, but expect me to show up every time.
when i do show up, the talk behind my back restarts and whatever i do, it will be judged.
I'm unaccepted by my fam.

The Family just now found out that i've been Dx-ed and just say: we've always known there was something WRONG with you to my face.
My G/F tried to find out some stuff about me from my youth, my mom was sitting next to me and replied: he was so disturbing, i can't talk about that period....
As if I could help the situation... but F##k 'em!

I've cut off all contact to family, when they want something, they'll have to face me and ask :D