View Full Version : University of Turbochica : Limericks


Turbochica
08-22-11, 11:14 AM
Lets try writing a Limerick.




Instructions

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1 Prepare to write five lines of verse. If you're stumped, try starting off your limerick with the traditional 'There once was a ...'
2 Create the following stress pattern in lines one, two and five: da-DA da-da-DA da-da-DA da. For example, "There ONCE was a FEL-low named JER-ry...." You can omit the last unstressed syllable if you prefer.
3 Create the following stress pattern in lines three and four: da-DA da-da-DA da. For example, "Per-PLEXED our dear PO-et." As before, you have the option of omitting the last syllable.
4 Make sure your limerick's rhyme scheme is a-a-b-b-a. In other words, the first, second and fifth lines all rhyme with one another; the third and fourth lines rhyme with each other.
5 Exploit puns and wordplay.



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Read more: How to Write a Limerick | eHow.com (http://www.ehow.com/how_3332_write-limerick.html#ixzz1VlqtQjRv) http://www.ehow.com/how_3332_write-limerick.html#ixzz1VlqtQjRv

julesjampot
08-24-11, 01:57 PM
There once was a young girl called Anna,
who ate an enormous piano
when she danced and she sang
she rattled and banged
and farted in a peculiar manner !:D

sarek
08-24-11, 03:08 PM
Here is an old one in Dutch, which I'll translate for you while trying to get inspiration for a real genuine sarek limerick:

Een oude boer uit Gaasterland - an old farmer from Gaasterland
Die nam een bronzen vaas ter hand - Took a bronze vase in his hand
En sloeg niet zonder tegenzin - And not without pity
Zijn goede vrouw de schedel in - Bashed the skull of his good lady

Toen men hem daarop arresteerde - when he was arrested thereupon
En naar de reden informeerd - and they asked him what the reason was
Zij hij zonder plichtplegingen - He said without ceremony
Uit schoonheidsoverwegingen - for reasons of aesthetics

Turbochica
08-24-11, 03:25 PM
There once was a man from Miami
Who loved to eat lots of salami
When out on the beach
He kept it at close reach
along with. Mt. Dew and his spammy

sarek
08-24-11, 04:56 PM
A wee little gambler in Dallas
Used to get drunk with the fellas
They all sang a song
Until they went wrong
And got caught by the gambler's wife alice.

julesjampot
08-25-11, 01:32 PM
There once was a teacher chica from New Hampshire
who's poetry sets us on fire
her lyrics are divine
every line after line
her qualities and sense we admire!!!!!!!

Turbochica
08-25-11, 03:54 PM
There once was a teacher chica from New Hampshire
who's poetry sets us on fire
her lyrics are divine
every line after line
her qualities and sense we admire!!!!!!!
Jules how kind :) ty you made my day :) :)

Turbochica
08-26-11, 01:01 PM
there once was a member on the forums
who seemed to lose all decorum
try as he might
to keep his posts light
his opinions could not find a quoram

Ian
08-26-11, 01:38 PM
There once was a teacher chica from New Hampshire
who's poetry sets us on fire
her lyrics are divine
every line after line
her qualities and sense we admire!!!!!!!

Here! Here!

BR549
08-26-11, 04:14 PM
There once were some ADD drugs,
Sought after by tweakers and thugs.
When in came the Feds
To control all the meds,
Now my doc just looks at me and shrugs.

Turbochica
08-28-11, 01:42 PM
There was a hurricane named Irene
Who suddenly came on the scene
Some lost trees and lights
She caused a such a fright
The total damage is yet to be seen.

Blueranne
08-28-11, 02:07 PM
There once were a few trouble make-az
who thought they could be hell raise-az
then Robert showed up
and taught them waz-up
and they went cryin' away to their mamaz

Turbochica
08-28-11, 02:14 PM
Once when I was on a airplane
sanity I did try to feign
As I impatiently traveled
my nerves unraveled
Afterwards I was never the same

Turbochica
08-28-11, 02:14 PM
Once while celebrating quite hearty
at a friends birthday party
The talk of the town
was the goofy clown
Who's name was Animal Arty

Turbochica
08-28-11, 02:20 PM
Once while performing a burglary
that history would record perversely
I was in the know
and stole a Van Goh
Where it resides now is a mystery

sarek
08-28-11, 02:59 PM
A certain professor from Frisco
Was seen way too oft in the disco
He was the talk of the town
And was quite a clown
until he ate too much tabasco

sarek
09-02-11, 01:54 PM
[bagpipe music]
Charging on his mighty steed came roaring Roy McKenny
The bottle was his friend in need,
So he fell on his fanny

So he sat and cried and cried,
And called out for his nanny,
She made him a wooden stick,
He limped home like a granny.
[/bagpipe music]

misschaos89
09-03-11, 09:29 PM
There once was a girl from Berlin,
Who wanted to be very thin,
She found a steam roller,
It squashed her all over,
And now she's kept in a tin.