View Full Version : Intimacy, my boyfriend, ADHD, love touching


Princess Moon
09-02-11, 03:28 PM
I get so much stimulation when my boyfriend touches me. When my boyfriend and I are doing something intimate, I just crave more and more. Whenever we do something new it stimulates me in incredible ways, and then I get used to it and then another new intimate thing gives me the same stimulation. Whenever I am with my boyfriend I just keep needing to touch him and be intimate. I only feel that way with my boyfriend, with other people touching feels kind of off, but with my boyfriend it's like, I always need the touching and the stimulation and once we get to more intimate levels, it gets very hard to not do certain things. I feel often like a lot of it is ADHD related, always feeling the need to touch my boyfriend and have him touch me, when we are in public it is so hard to resist and hold back.

Anyone else with ADHD also feel kind of that intimacy gives them stimulation and once they got to intimate levels it's hard to go back and touching stimulates you. Whenever I am with my boyfriend I keep thinking of doing intimate things right away and it is much more than hormones, it's like a stimulation where sometimes I can drift off and intimacy just stimulates me so much and gives me this rush. It's also very hard to stop. Sometimes I worry I embarrass my boyfriend because I sometimes slip up in public with affection, it's so hard not to. I feel like a lot of it is ADHD related, because when I'm with my boyfriend, I just constantly need to be touching him and it is very hard not to, and it's only with him. It's like stimulation. Anyone else relate to issues of intimacy and stimulation? Is everyone like this or just ADHD?

Intimacy is kind of a stimulation as well, my relationship is emotional related, it's a deep and emotional relationship, but once things got to certain levels of intimacy, it just really stimulated me and it's hard not to be touching all the time. I also find that intimacy calms my mind, when my boyfriend and I are together, my ADHD racing thoughts finally calm down, a lot of intimacy takes away the racing thoughts and my mind finally shuts off and I just enjoy the moment. It's always very hard to stop. Anyone else relate? Anyone else also show public affection at inappropriate times sometimes? Nothing inappropriate in public, just things you should do in private. Anyone else find intimacy calms their ADHD?

sarek
09-02-11, 03:50 PM
Because of distance and her health issues my gf and me can not be together often but we certainly have that same experience. We completely hyperfocus on each other and we find touch, much more so even than words, an extremely important form of communication.

We are both NF type people, very strong intuitives and feelers. To the rest of the world we are both freaks and aliens but together we are home.

johnny_walker
09-02-11, 05:06 PM
Johnny feels the same way, it just feels like for one day....that everything add related just suddenly disappears temporally when Johnny was intimate only a few times.

But that was johnny's experience, dunno if it is the same with everyone else.

Abi
09-02-11, 06:31 PM
This is not ADHD.

This is normal behaviour of human beings in love/lust.

Jeez. Why is EVERYTHING ADHD?

pechemignonne
09-02-11, 08:13 PM
This is not ADHD.

This is normal behaviour of human beings in love/lust.

Jeez. Why is EVERYTHING ADHD?

I'm not sure that's true here abi. The OP is talking about inappropriate public displays of affection, and sexual behavior that is difficult to control. I think that's a possible executive functioning problem.

anonymouslyadd
09-02-11, 08:43 PM
Is everyone like this or just ADHD?

I think this is what the OP is trying to figure out Abi. It seems like this is different from what would be considered normal love behavior (I hate using the "normal" word, but I can't think of anything else).

Rebelyell
09-02-11, 09:05 PM
Damn I thought I could blame everything on adhd especially all my problems,Acocrding to Abi I guess I cant shootski!:DFoiled again.
I wish I could git me some sweet lovings,talk about the well being dried up

sarahsweets
09-02-11, 10:56 PM
This topic is simply stimulating ...ha ha

m4dalice
09-03-11, 09:49 PM
Anyone else find intimacy calms their ADHD?

I love this part of touching my fiancee, he makes all the anxiety and crazy fast thoughts stop. It's like I can rest for a little while when we are in close contact. It has been amazing, we recently moved in together and every night we share a bed; up until now I have never slept well. Just little snatches of sleep a few hours here and there unless I'm with him. But these last few weeks I've gotten more sleep than I have in the past 21 years!

So needless to say I experience this all the time, and I also find it hard to pull back from intimacy in public. At least he's a good sport and brags about being one of the only guys that has to tell his girl, 'no not right now'.

Princess Moon
09-16-11, 03:18 PM
I think my boyfriend is just as into touching as me, though. He could hardly let me go when I was leaving for a second to get something when we were cuddling in bed. I could hardly leave, either. I'm glad we're both in the same position on this. It's so hard to stop once you've started.

uncle shrek
09-16-11, 06:01 PM
dont want to discuss my sexual habits on a forum.sorry guys,thats private.

blgw99
09-17-11, 12:27 PM
Have you been together for a short time :)?

I tend to get overstimulated, like wanting to crawl out of my skin. Not unpleasent, but kind of too intense.

Blueranne
09-17-11, 12:48 PM
OP, I dont know how old you are but it sounds like you are simply young and in love. Those feelings are NOT related to ADHD but as everyone knows ADHD does amplify our emotions. Just be prepared for the impulsive side of ADHD in this scenario, if you catch my drift. ;)

Blueranne
09-17-11, 12:56 PM
I love this part of touching my fiancee, he makes all the anxiety and crazy fast thoughts stop. It's like I can rest for a little while when we are in close contact.

Love, touch, sex... all increase dopamine levels.

anonymouslyadd
09-17-11, 01:17 PM
Love, touch, sex... all increase dopamine levels.

Are you saying dopamine decreases anxiety?

Blueranne
09-17-11, 01:36 PM
Are you saying dopamine decreases anxiety?

I was trying to relate love, touch, and sex as a short term way of increasing dopamine which is helpful in calming our ADHD brains.

Princess Moon
09-18-11, 10:25 AM
My boyfriend and I have been together for a long ti\me in my point of view. We have a very serious and deep relationship, it's much more serious and emotional than most relationships, the story of how we got together and or whole relationship is actually pretty amazing and we have a very deep emotional connection. our relationship is very serious and we had a very exciting and long courtship beforehand and we have been in an intense, emotional and serous relationship for awhile. We are very devoted and it took a long time before it got to a real physical level. we had waited awhile in the relationship and developed a very deep connection.

Our relationship is very real and lasting and I do genuinely believe that we will be together forever. the way our relationship developed from the start, the courtship, all the things that went into it and our intense emotional connection and all th obstacles we faced and long before the physical part, so no, we have been together for a long time and it's not new. It's just in the beginning it was more about our deep, emotional connection, our exciting courtship which was more amazing than anything you could imagine and other intensity of our connection, my breath was always taken away by how deep our connection is. The physical part didn't come until much later and it's only now that I have become so much more stimulated by it. But now, this is not a casual thing, it's a very serious relationship and it's very deep and emotional, not physical, we have a connection unlike any other many have experienced, I was told how very few people get to have the type of relationship and connection my boyfriend and I have. So it is very deep and definitely not just physical, it's just that lately the physical part has really been stimulating me.

It was originally the emotional part and how exciting, intense and deep our relationship was, we didn't have a normal courtship, it was very exciting and intense, much different from your typical dating experience, and our relationship always had something emotional and exciting happening every time we were together, it was always stimulating and it never calmed down or cooled down, it was always very intense and exciting, and now we have been together for a long time and it is still just as exciting as in the beginning, the stimulation never changed, only now I'm just as addicted to the physical part as the emotional part.

I think the more serious our relationship gets, the more amazing it feels and now that we have been together a long time, I'm even more stimulated by it because the connection has grown so much deeper and is just as exciting, it's never dull even having been together this long, I get just as stimulated every time. Just now I've added the physical stimulation to the emotional part, but yes, this is a relationship where we are both in love and have a very deep connection, it's not just a physical thing, it's just a very serious and intense and exciting relationship which has stimulated me from the beginning and continues to stimulate me just as much even though we've been together a long time, in fact it only grows. Now it's a lot of physical stimulation where the touching just stimulates me a lot.

Sorry for this long message, just wanted to explain that our relationship is deep and emotional and not just a physical thing at all and we have been together a long time, this isn't about a rush, it's lasted awhile and the stimulation is still there this far into the relationship, it's all I think about and really care about and the more serious it gets, the more happier and exited it makes me. It is truly the best feeling ever and lately the physical part has really, really stimulated me and I just get so stimulated by the touching now, sorry for going off topic.

m4dalice
09-19-11, 12:13 AM
I was trying to relate love, touch, and sex as a short term way of increasing dopamine which is helpful in calming our ADHD brains.

I don't know that 3 1/2 years is very short term at least in my case. Although I understand what you are talking about. But I've also found that when I am cuddled close to him I can let out all those thoughts I keep in because they don't always make sense. I know his touch is soothing when I'm in a panic or over-stimulated; it doesn't have to be holding a simple hand touch is all it takes. This got a little off topic i think but really that should be expected right?