I went to an ADD group meeting a few days ago. The group facilitator asked us to go around the table and say what our strengths were. She started with me and all I could think of was "I am creative and think outside the box". She waited for me to say more, then she asked me to think of one more strength. But I couldn't think of anything else. Then she asked the other 6 people. By the time we got to the end, we only had about 4 different strengths that we could think of. A lot of what people said were just variations of the same thing. Seven people in their 20's,30's and 40's and we couldn't speak well of ourselves.

Isn't that sad?

That really made a big impression on me. Why would someone else speak well of me if I can't even do it for myself?


Don't misunderstand me. I interviewed people for a living for the past 10 years and I can BS my way through the inevitable interview question "what are your top 3 strengths/weaknesses" with the best of them. But those answers don't count. They are just answers that I have memorized just like I have memorized my telephone #. If you ask me in an interview, I will say that I am a hard worker, punctual, detail oriented...whatever I think the interviewer wants to hear.

So my hope for this thread is that we can all write down our strengths. It doesn't need to be a long post. Feel free to add more as you think of them.
I'll start with 3 but I definitely will be adding more! I just have to go run errands before the stores close.


Animal-lover
Creative problem solver
I can interview a candidate on autopilot-ask all the right questions while thinking of something totally different like shopping!
Your turn!

I'm a creative poet

I have had a crappy past but despite the damage I have been through Mentally, I have not lost my humanity and become like those who hurt me...I figure the best revenge is to not let them break me. Through it all I also came out a person with high moral values when it comes Sex and dealing with the opposite sex.

Where other's think non conformity as a "BAD" thing...I value my individuality and I am not afraid of expression and impulsivness...I can do my best to take the negative aspects of ADD others look down on and see it as positive. It seems everything that seems to be acceptable in society, look good, rule minder, polite and well mannered....I am not...and I thank God for it!!!

I don't steal or Kill:D

My empathy and compassion for others is another one of my values.

I like the ADD Link I have with others where I can think the same thoughts as another person at the exact same time...and sometimes I can see things that happen eventually...I LOVE IT!

I love animals too:D


Ya know when your self esteem is low and you are depressed or stressed it is hard to stop and see the most positive sides within yourself...and you don't really realize unless you have someone tell you or do serious soul searching and look within yourself. & I think U left out a few moxee...I read your post and I can tell you are a sweet and compassionate person, wise, and thoughtful of others....Most admirable traits :) Just thought I'd beat ya too it when ya continue de list:D

Wow, what a really sweet thing to say. Many thanks Draga:)

What I think your own list is missing is your sense of humor and your honesty/courage. Not very many people post their own pictures. To me it says "this is who I am, I am not worried that you'll recognize me around town".

I think that shows both courage and that your head is "in a good place". I am not there yet, only 3 people in my circle know I have ADD. Correction....make that 3 people and the 3000 on this forum !!! ;)

"I am creative and think outside the box"

I cant think of anything that is more positve about myself.....

"I can do anything I put my mind to",

but before I can do that,

I have to be "creative and think outside the box".

*blushes* Awe Garsh! You're right I'm not worried..hehe someone commented I have the mischevious look...Sometime a Pic is worth a thousand words lol!

From what they tell me...the clouds is a good place for my head to be :D

Well, I hope the forums and I can help ya with getting there...and honestly...I would not have this head in de clouds now if not for here :)

When I was with my dr being dianosed that was one of the first things he asked me. What was I good at? I looked at him like a dear in the headlights and damned if I could think of even one thing..... that meant something to him

I sometimes have trouble with talking about myself but the nice thing is that I work so hard at improving myself and learning more about myself as a person and a professional, that to be perfectly honest, other people routinely come up to me and say wonderful things about my work and personality.I am always flattered and enjoy it, but I don't let it slow me down either. I move on within myself and keep trying to learn and do a better job. Most of all, I am grateful for the talents and abilities God has given me and the chance to use them for something positive.

As people with ADHD, we have to be creative in order to compensate for the problem.Other people who don't have ADHD or live with or know someone who does, simply can't undesrtand what we go thru at times. Therefore, while it may be difficult to think highly of ourselves sometimes, it's also really good for us to recognize our strenghts and abilities.

This was a nice post. Thank you for bringing it up.:)

Is it OK if I qualify my good stuff with some of the downside of each?

Also creative. I always thought of myself as an artist & was dissapointed that I'm not great at drawing or painting beautiful art though I do have a nack for making things interesting, thoughtful and unique.

I am usually persistently pursuing something better in life. No matter what I do, I'm always looking for a better, more interesting, more meaningful or unique personalized way to do things. Some might call this stubborn or defiant, and it can be, but it keeps life interesting and that's how I motivate through a boring world.

I don't compromise. Again with the being difficult thing, but I also find people appreciate that I do things fully as I wish and that gives a special quality to the things I touch. At least I have no regrets because if I want something I will do it, not feel bad that I shouldn't.

I'm an optimist. I think people are inherently good, even some really nasty people. Sometimes I'm shocked that I think a situation is all fine & dandy & later learn how fouled up it really is but I still hold to my optimistic view.

I'm a peacemaker. If I see someone struggling with some resentment, I'll help them see the bright side & how that's really the best way to go for everyone. Maybe I don't express anger & defend myself & am a bit adverse to confrontation & maybe I just do this as a way to avoid taking a stand but my stubborn side & my optimism get me through in a good way usually, regardless.

I would note that possibly part of this problem is that ADDers are notoriously terrible self observers. "Trouble observing oneself and ones influence on their environment" is a pretty typical part of the Dx.

That said, I always answer with my normal personality characteristics that people say I exhibit: I am loyal, upright, honest, charismatic, bull-headed, stubborn, and yet understanding. Oh, also "unique." I'm "unique," and "one of a kind," a lot. Heh.

I would note that possibly part of this problem is that ADDers are notoriously terrible self observers. "Trouble observing oneself and ones influence on their environment" is a pretty typical part of the Dx.

That said, I always answer with my normal personality characteristics that people say I exhibit: I am loyal, upright, honest, charismatic, bull-headed, stubborn, and yet understanding. Oh, also "unique." I'm "unique," and "one of a kind," a lot. Heh.
I only partially buy the bit they tell us about being poor self observers. If we are so bad, how is it that we can talk about all of our flaws so easily? And I don't think we are bad observers in general either. I bet everyone finds it easy to talk about their best friends' good qualities.

Sometimes it feels like my life has become a struggle to get rid of all the old "labels" that I have put on myself, only to turn around and be stuck with equally bad "new labels".

I did notice you said "characteristics that people say I exhibit". Is that because you don't feel comfortable saying good things about yourself? Does it feel weird or uncomfortable or like you are boasting if you say it about yourself?

Somehow, I would guess that you have many strengths that others have not mentioned. And unique is great! non-unique people bore me!

I think this is a really good point you have brought up. I think sometimes people tell us we have strengths that we really don't feel we have.(K.M:Please don't think I am saying your friends are wrong about you!) I am just saying that unless a strength is really a part of your own internal dialogue with yourself, I wonder if it really will ever feel like a strength.
I have a friends that always says she thinks I am very patient. She has been saying that for over 12 years, but I never think of patience as one of my strengths because I just don't buy it.

I think what is important is what you think and say.:)

This forum is anonymous so if you say your strength is creativity no one will say "thats not true" or "you're only creative when it comes to spending money".

Note to Paulbf: You don't have to excuse your strengths or qualify them or mention the downside. If you say its your strength, we totally believe you. I also think you are a great photographer. The picture of your cat that you posted in the "pets" thread is just beautiful. In fact, I have made it my computer backdrop.:)

I plan to have kids in the near future, and my thought is that If I know my strengths...I will be a more confident person...if I am a more confident person....I will be more at peace with myself....if I am more at peace....I will be happier...if I am happier...I will be a better wife and mother.

Back to everyones strengths......

I can probably count strengths easier than I can count my successes. "Not good enough" is a running theme in my life.

When my therapist asked me for one strength, I paused, ummed, I think empathy, being sensitive to how others are feeling is a strength. Yet my weakness is being overly sensitive, taking things too hard.

There are other strengths...they don't meet my standards but they are there so I would gather I have potential:

creative
bright
feisty
affectionate
devoted
faithful
(Good grief I'm a dog.)
helpful
(hey, in my right frame of mind I can think of quite a few, amazing! too bad it doesn't happen more often.)
advocate for the "little guy"
intuitive

That's enough. I don't want to become an ego-maniac. On those high "ADD days", I can't see any of this, my mind is in a fog, whirling, all I can see is the negatives.

Weird...when I start to say I am intelligent and begin to believe it, I cut down by someone or something. Right now my belief that I am intelligent is slowing building again. I don't know how long that will last.

But I have been told I am "a smoother outer". Meaning that I help co-workers get through their problems if they are mad at each other.

I am empathetic to people and compassionate. I am even more of that toward animals and Nature. In fact, I think I love animals and Nature more than people.

I am the only one in my family that keeps in touch with distant relatives. The relatives my siblings are too busy for. I am one of five.

I have been told by many that I am one of a kind in a good way. I guess so since I feel different from "normal" women. I do like to try new things, new foods, etc..

Hey! I am one with Nature! I consider that blessed in itself since so many folks forget about Nature. I am quite proud of that.

One little girl at my store was staring at me. She pulled on her Mom and said I was pretty. One kid said I was an angel! That was a compliment! So maybe I have a kind look about me. Everyone says my eyes are kind. Okay.

I do remain a rug for most folks. Sometimes I feel like that was why I was put here on this Earth. But I would want to be that other than a ***** to people.

Non-judgemental-I accept people as they are.
Quick to forgive and forget

Cant stay angry for long

Always full of ideas-I guess its called "innovative"

Young at heart AND I look 10 years younger than I am.

Attractive

I have a very good and VERY strong singing voice.

When I take the time, I am VERY organized and coordinated.

I am very resourceful and creative and frugal.

There, ya happy now :p

Moxee - I go by what my friends tell me I exhibit because I _am_ a terrible self-observer. I have never been good at it. I don't credit myself as an authority on myself simply because I have never been very good at it. Most of the time, how I think I am behaving and how I really am behaving are in stark contrast. I also tend towards denial or explaining away personality flaws so they don't seem as bad. I didn't admit I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I just used various terms to dodge saying that. "a little social anxiety" "my impulsiveness makes me anxious." No, neither are the case, but those are handy excuses I make up for myself. Even these observations about myself I'm making right now I had realized only after 18 years and a counseling visit.

That said, I can generally notice big trends if something happens which brings them to notice. I can tell when i'm doing such and such for whatever reason, if there's some reason for me to notice it. Otherwise, yes, I personally am a terrible self-observer.

I can't, of course, speak for the rest of you, heh.

That's when ya really got to sit alone in a room and start looking within yourself...Self exploration is a real eye opener.

Thanks moxee, I do enjoy photography. That's not my cat, just one I saw while travelling in AZ (the one with the cactus).

My strengths

I can love unconditionally
I forgive others as well as myself
I love children and animals
I am sensitive to people's feelings
I have amazingly beautiful eyes
I have a smile that transforms me
I'm a AutoCAD Guru... as for as up to Autocad 2002
I'm very creative with my hands

Phew! Thank goodness I had to do this with my counsilor, I was prepared! lol

I tend to have a difficult time expressing my own strengths. I would imagine that that would be for the following reasons:

* Lack of concern. Maybe this would fall under lack of self observation. I generally do not take the time to think of specific strengths and weaknesses.

* Subjectivity (inversion of strength/weakness based on context). Often times aspects of myself that I would consider strengths others may consider weaknesses. For example, when discussing the traits of qualification for a job, I may consider my ability to learn quickly on the fly a strength. However, in the eyes of many non-enlightened employers (especially in production oriented environments), this may indicate someone who wastes considerable amounts of time understanding everything that is done. Employers in these types of environments are looking for the typical trained "monkeys" who simply do what they are told because production is (or may be) faster in the short term with these types.

* Lack of understanding. I have strengths that most people cannot relate to at all. Often people do not relate to the strength that was mentioned in the previous paragraph relating to dynamic learning. With respect to learning, most people are like a dual-state state machine. They are in doing mode or in learning mode. Most people do not operate like random access rewritable media, however, they are more like sequential write media like CD-R's or devices that are written to rarely like EEPROM's in which the related device in question has to be in a special mode in order to be written to. I operate more like a hard disk, as the two modes are completely intermixed and can happen at the same time (at high level, anyway). This is the primary reason why most people misunderstand my attitude torward formal education (such as college).

I do not like to describe myself using typical strength phrases like "hard working", "dependable", and "plays well with others". Those are rather nonspecific and quite subjective. You can find anyone to say those. I would rather identify unique strengths, which are generally misunderstood or inverted based on context.

I have a good impression of you Kep, from these forums, your name reads as "good person" for what that's worth. I think there are very few ADDer's who would not rate highly in the category of "is sincere" and that's one I'd rate you especially highly on.