View Full Version : Here's something that I wrote long ago - I never even got around to giving it a title

09-14-11, 11:37 PM
This is something that I wrote long about which for the most part, it could be classified as a 'emo poem' but... it has no title, it has no structure... its just a simple description to help others get a glimpse of what I go through on a daily basis. I'm not milking anyone for sympathy, but an understanding.

My mind is of one source, fractured like glass with many facets of my self and deep with in. I shall paint a picture of myself. No promises if it can be brief, although it can be insightful.

Fleeting ideation of what I could do float by my perception. It comes and goes in stages.

I balance precariously on the white spectrum.

I'm blinded by the White Nova. I never tire, never slow down. I see and hear things that are not there. I'm a fiery ball with rage. Allow me to focus my fury but keep me from persecutory delusions. The aftermath leaves me feeling extremely guilty.

The White Extreme at times make me ecstatic and irritated. I am so productive and I think faster than ever, I plan with ease at a racing pace how to fix all my problems. I gain the physical vitality for my grandiose schemes. Though the shiny is very distracting and I quickly change my course.

A White Mist clouds my logic, and brings out a creativity that I enjoy. Life would be great if I can stay here as I gain the mental fortitude to get projects done. The fountain of my ideas is over flowing. It allows me to pretend that I'm happy, at least for a short while.

Severe prognosis and rapid states invokes the Gray Haze, as if it was something new. Its a familiar cycle, and I want to get off. It is an impulse to find an escape and all I need is to chose the poison. I know already that the substance won't fix me, but it will make me forget long enough to over come the insomnia and fatigue.

Shades of Gray show a mixture of the white and black. So volatile as the balance shifts rapidly. Never to be stable and the cracks are forming. More self harm happens here and the fractures in my reflection show for it.

The fragile mirror is shattered and I fall into the dark spectrum.

A Black Velvet has least terror since I am numb with inner pain. Catatonia is my best defense here. It never lasts long. My mind races back to life with panic. My corporeal state tingles and aches constantly, though I lack the energy to mutter a word.

The Black Extreme is a debilitating state of pain and isolation. Reality becomes a disturbing dream. Its an unreal torment that incites absolute fear. I must escape the trauma - it makes me want to dispose my mortal coil. This state of mind I do not wish on my worst enemy since it is looking back at me through the looking glass. Intervention is almost too late.

A vast Black Hole causes me to make my desperate escape and I leave everything behind. I wait now, slowing down. The essence of life-giving vitae flows down the drain. The tools of my self-destruction are discarded. No one understands. I don't blame them and I never did. It won't be long until I become a memory. No one can help me now.

The air is cold as I breathe it in. The warmth as left me and I'm numb. I now sleep, never to smile again.

My painting is not complete. Someone save me. There is more to do.

11-24-11, 12:42 AM