I was sitting here pondering about having ADD and with the mind going a hundred miles an hour, and was thinking about my finances and other things in my life. Correct me if I am wrong. Those who have inattentive or maybe even hyperactive tend to be approval junkies. I am always thinking that I need approval for alot of things that I do and it it is driving me nuts. I ask myself why I am like this and the answer is usually is " i dont trust my own thinking". The constant back and forth of thoughts causes alot of anxiety and makes me feel weak as a person. I have yet to be formally tested ( going tommorrow to see the Doc about being tested) but from the research that i have done I am inattentive.

Yes, I am an approval junkie....I have been that way my whole life. I am working on it. I will feel like going home early from work. It affects me not anyone else. I ask my co-workers if they think I should go home early. Or I will ask someone what they think even if I know what the right answer is. I just check to see if my idea is dumb. If their idea is dumber, than my confidence builds. I don't tell them their idea is dumber, I just go on. Silly things like that.

Sometimes I feel like that little dog on Looney Tunes jumping around that big Bulldog named Spike asking the him questions. Sometimes I feel slapped like that little dog.

I was one until I just stopped caring and learned that others acceptance isn't important as accepting myself....once I did that...Heh..who needs em;)

That is good advice Draga!

Hi,
Could it be because of a reduced tendency towards feeling a sense of reward to performing tasks, reaching goals, adopting behaviours .... ourselves, that we surrogate with approval from others.
I guess without some a priori subconscious belief in the attainment of a sense of reward, it could prove difficult to develop motivation for 'things'.
Pushing this idea a little further though, mightn't a reduced sense of reward be a two-sided coin .... with a potential benefit from it, being, that it could be used to provide an intense motivation towards pushing one's efforts to ever greater extremes ... towards attaining one's own real inner-held private sense of Idaho :-)
SB.

Two things going on:
1) self esteem problems from being a wierdo reject
2) being very sincere and genuine so seeking some confirmation that we are really OK & not trying to "pull the wool" over anyone's eyes.

paul, its funyy you worte that but that;s exactly what i feel. I have self esteem problems from being a bit off from everyone else but #2 is so me. I always feel that i am some kind of master criminal and i always pull the wool over everyones eyes. I know that i am doing that at my job because i am so underqualified for this job and somehow i have managed to keep it. it seems i have many people fooled.

I feel soooo lazy at my job, I need confirmation that I am not being that lazy. My partner at work thinks he has ADHD. It is great working with him because he has his strengths and I have mine. We are great partners in that we keep each other motivated to do certain tasks. However, I noticed he always asks me about his work too. I compliment him all the time because I know how I feel.

Approve of me and I'll follow you anywhere. Compliment me and I blush three shades of crimson. Encourage me and I've got renewed energy for a week. Yeah, I'm a junkie. Pet me, love me I'm a more faithful friend than your favorite pooch, betray me and I'll bite you in the a**! (hey, my self-esteem isn't THAT low)

I'm pretty sure I have the inattentive type, it's not like my parents were going to compliment me for doing things a normal child/student should be doing. So I think I can safely say it's a self esteem issue.

Oh good, I'm glad it made sense 'cause now I'm not even sure what I meant as I re-read. Another strange thing is the back patting that comes from an ADD coach really didn't work for me. I could tell it was totally phony even if well intentioned that really bugged me. It's got to be real or it doesn't count. And even if it is a real compliment, I'll sometimes blush & think I don't deserve it, feeling very akward. Other times I'll know without doubt that I'm smarter than everyone but that's more to do with cleverness not worthiness. Ah, so confusing.