View Full Version : Self injurious urges


littlefidget
09-20-11, 08:00 PM
Advanced apologies is this is a taboo/offensive topic, just looking for some support/advice.

Does anybody else get really difficult to resist urges to self harm so that physical pain will block out hyperactive brain thoughts for a while?

When my mind cannot stop racing and I can't stop thinking and jumping from thought to though, doing internal narration, living in a fantasy world and there's a billion different things going on in my head at one time, I often get really strong urges to self harm because physical pain takes up my brain and blocks everything else out temporarily, and I get some relief from the chaos that reigns inside my mind.

TygerSan
09-21-11, 08:49 AM
Nope, not alone. . . for me the urges are anxiety/overload-based and have *always* been there, as long as I can remember. That gives me a lot more ability to cope with them, as I've had to live with them since I was a toddler . . . do you have any diagnosed co-morbidities? The racing thoughts could just be ADHD, but could be more as well.

blgw99
09-21-11, 12:23 PM
It happens, although I'm not sure if it's all ADHD.

You need to find an alternative method of coping that works for you. Probably some other type of (harmless, of course!) intense sensation.

I like water, like taking a hot shower or sticking my hands under cold tap water. It's calming.

aeon
09-21-11, 12:32 PM
I used to get those urges, and I used to act on them, but I stopped after experiencing the (internal) fallout that resulted from self-injurious behavior.

You can still make use of that aspect of your body but without significant injury through the use of a rubber band or piece of ice.

Also, learning new ways to self-soothe can give you other choices when you are in need. I didn’t think that was possible for me, but as in many other things, I was wrong.


cheers,
Ian

Komod0Dragon
10-01-11, 06:13 PM
Advanced apologies is this is a taboo/offensive topic, just looking for some support/advice.

Does anybody else get really difficult to resist urges to self harm so that physical pain will block out hyperactive brain thoughts for a while?

When my mind cannot stop racing and I can't stop thinking and jumping from thought to though, doing internal narration, living in a fantasy world and there's a billion different things going on in my head at one time, I often get really strong urges to self harm because physical pain takes up my brain and blocks everything else out temporarily, and I get some relief from the chaos that reigns inside my mind.

You want some pain that feels good and you can do it while knowing there isn't any permanent harm?

Whether you're male or female, I always recommend going to a gym. I'm not a meat head person and am still trying to stay consistent with going, so don't think it's a huge deal.

Anyway, whenever I work out on my chest, back muscles (mainly the Lats), and glutes (buttocks) & quads (upper front thighs), my muscles will ache for 1-3 days afterward.

That soreness on the 1st or 2nd day is usually very sensitive and if you get into one of your modes where you need to block things out, you can do push-ups or punch yourself in the chest for maximum relief. More than you can physically and mentally handle.

Really if you enjoy pain for any reason, going to a gym is where you need to be at. I've concluded that if you're any sort of masochist (or whatever your intentions are for pain), then the gym is where you need to be.

There's also biting the inside of your lips until it bleeds and then putting salt on it. :eek:

___

Edit:

I did want to mention that after a night of working out, while you may be energized, it has always been to the point where my mind is blank for about an hour or more afterward. I just used all of my energy to lift, push, or pull weights. That's just my experience with it.

Hopefully the thoughts haven't drove you mad just yet!

littlefidget
10-05-11, 06:51 AM
Yup, pain without permanent harm, because it's not what I would call typical self harming behaviour it's not because I'm depressed, it's not because I want to punish myself or express any emotional pain or anything like that.

But then maybe it is, because I want to self harm, to feel pain, to provide relief and distraction from thoughts. Not any particular type of thought, just to block them out for a short time, to feel some quiet in my brain or get to sleep.

I love exercise, but recently I've been pretty bad at getting myself to the gym, mainly because I've stopped sleeping, because I can't stop thinking and wind down enough to fall asleep, so I'm exhausted even by the thought of exercise. I've been walking though, miles and miles and sometimes when I can't sleep, I walk to the point where my feet are sore, my muscles ache and I think I can't go on any more, then I walk home, fall into bed in a heap of tired achiness, and fall asleep, and don't wake up till morning. Pure bliss.

rickymooston
10-21-11, 01:22 AM
Yup, pain without permanent harm, because it's not what I would call typical self harming behaviour it's not because I'm depressed, it's not because I want to punish myself or express any emotional pain or anything like that.

Are you better now?

Depression can be a *****

My cousin takes medication for it.

Have you considered listing out the root causes? Some constructive ways to deal with or reduce some of them?

Action is one of the ways to defeat depression

You night also consider consaulting a doctor about meds?

Komod0Dragon
10-21-11, 08:51 PM
I love exercise, but recently I've been pretty bad at getting myself to the gym, mainly because I've stopped sleeping, because I can't stop thinking and wind down enough to fall asleep, so I'm exhausted even by the thought of exercise. I've been walking though, miles and miles and sometimes when I can't sleep, I walk to the point where my feet are sore, my muscles ache and I think I can't go on any more, then I walk home, fall into bed in a heap of tired achiness, and fall asleep, and don't wake up till morning. Pure bliss.

I recommend a product called "Midnight." You can pick it up at wal-mart. It contains melatonin (1.5mg every dose).

Feel free to check a search engine for both products.

When I can't sleep, I take myself some of those and then read a book until I go to sleep.

Also use your bed for one thing: sleeping.

I have a futon so it doubles as my couch and bed. The only time I ever lay down on it is because I need to get myself to sleep.

Buy yourself a book that may interest you along with 1-2 tablets and next thing you know, you just feel asleep reading a book.

It takes at least 1 hour for it to be felt in your brain / head (the sleepiness). You won't wake up groggy at all, it's wonderful.

As for your pain comment, that's a way of self-medication. There are more ways available than just that...I prefer to play RPG games because it requires attention, it allows my eyes to look at everything at once, my ears to hear and identify every sound, and takes away my thoughts about the reality in which I live in.

kathrynsmathryn
10-22-11, 05:00 PM
I've been having issues with falling asleep recently too. Every night I have to literally tell myself to "STOP, slow down, deal with that tomorrow. You need to rest". Sometime that takes half an hour, and sometimes I can only get three hours of sleep. It's always a guessing game.

Bluerose
10-23-11, 07:23 AM
The use of an elastic band is good; put it on your wrist and snap it hard against your wrist. Ice in a bowl also helps; fill a bowl with cold water and ice and plunge your hands in. The thing that works best but takes a little longer is quietening your mind. This can be done with relaxation, meditation, mantras and affirmations. Counting numbers, sometimes slow and sometimes fast, helps as does reciting positive affirmations or some poetry. Puzzle games help too. The secret is to occupy your mind with other thoughts.

fracturedstory
10-27-11, 01:32 AM
I get that feeling where I have so many thoughts my head hurts. A deep pressure builds and it gets weighty. Sometimes I do hit it against things. It's hard to explain why when I feel like that that I want to hit it against things. It makes me feel better. I think I read somewhere it releases something called beta endorphins.
I don't often think about hurting myself while depressed, unless really depressed that I can barely move. Then I think about cutting myself but the lack of movement stops me from doing that.
Then there are time where I don't feel upset at all, more giddy, where I hit my arms and legs because they feel numb and it feels good because despite having hypersensitivities I get over pain quickly. I have accidently burnt myself so many times that I don't even run the wound under water anymore.

Extremely cold showers are good too. I can't have them for too long because they do feel painful and either release endorphins or I'm having a really good time. Cold showers make me forget about everything.

One thing that helped me get through extreme hormonal related depression was reading Percy Jackson.

anonymouslyadd
10-27-11, 01:35 AM
It's been happening to me lately. I think mine is out of frustration and emotional pain.

StoicNate
10-27-11, 01:40 AM
I only do if I get too lonely/restless/bored. I use things to hit my forearms, which isn't good.
I would never cut myself...too bloody and I'm not into that.

rickymooston
10-30-11, 11:13 PM
When my mind cannot stop racing and I can't stop thinking and jumping from thought to though, doing internal narration, living in a fantasy world and there's a billion different things going on in my head at one time, I often get really strong urges to self harm because physical pain takes up my brain and blocks everything else out temporarily, and I get some relief from the chaos that reigns inside my mind.

My mind races from time to time, but I don't think to the extent you sound like you are describing.

Pain doesn't sound like a good solution for obvious reasons, even if it works, it can cause you harm.

Options you can consider:
1) Medication -- talk to a doctor about this symptom
2) start writing your ideas down
3) Blank wall medication. Sit down, stare at a blank wall and let your mind wander naturally for a while. Don't offer further stimulation. I do this sometimes

Take care of yourself

Jayden
11-11-11, 07:52 PM
i alot of timnes selfed harmed when hyperactive and they ended up deeper then oif i done it when down

rickymooston
11-12-11, 05:12 PM
i alot of timnes selfed harmed when hyperactive and they ended up deeper then oif i done it when down

I don't understand self harm very well, although I've actually engaged in minor versions in the past. At the end of the day, my will to live is pretty strong.

I hope you find other means of dealing with your frustration that are constructive. I don't know how much the professionals can help. I assume you've seen them. If you haven't you probably should consider.

At the end of the day, you can make something of your life. Your poor self image is missing your potential.

Channeling is the only tool I can think of other than medical help. You can take out your frustration on something that won't cause permanent damage. Sports are good this way; e.g., hitting a punching bag.

TygerSan
12-05-11, 01:49 PM
At the end of the day, my will to live is pretty strong.


Just want to clarify that SI is not usually a suicide attempt, nor is it always a "plea for attention".

emploding
12-05-11, 05:16 PM
Just want to clarify that SI is not usually a suicide attempt, nor is it always a "plea for attention".

Thanks for that. I hate peoples misconceptions about both those points.

Surely if someone wanted attention there are better ways than cutting, and usually hiding said cuts? Perhaps running down the street naked would be more effective for attention!

Etcetera
01-10-12, 12:22 PM
I "used" to self harm. I say "used to" because it no longer is the same thing. It used to be to stop serious anxiety problems and was more serious than it is now.

Nowadays it is more to calm myself down when I am angered or feeling a lot of despair.

I got from where I was till where I am now by making sure I no longer had any sharp objects around me. Including keys actually as well...
Still, whenever thoughts are going wild, I'll smack my hand hard or something. When I'm angered, I'll try to relieve my urge for throwing stuff around by hurting myself. In times of despair, I just want to hit my head -- which is really odd because I've got headaches very easily. Pain also helps me to stay focused (probably the reason why I am into kinkier sex...)

Then again, I prefer this than abusing alcohol. I am no longer inflicting any serious damage to my body and I've come to terms with it. IF things would take a turn for the worse, then I'd think I'd need to talk to someone again.