Hi All - I need some advice. I use to date this guy who as ADD and we broke up about four months ago. At first I was upset then I tried to reach out to him and he was resistant and then we had a friend pass away and he called to let me know. Since then I've reached out to him and we are now able to have a conversation like real friends and for that i'm thankful. But he made a strange comment during our last conversation. I recently received a great promotion at work (and we use to talk about this alot when we dated). His comment to me after finding out about my promotion was (see what happens now that i'm not there) I don't like to hear him say things like this. I asked him how things were going for him and he said the same. I think he is so talented and so intelligent and I so want to see him continue with his work and be excited about his future. I'd like to hear what people think I should say or do to keep him motivated and focused.

I think you're getting in too deep too fast. I just don't think you want to take on the role of motivation maker and focusser. He really has to do that for himself, yes?

Just be his friend and listen. If he asks for your help, there's your cue to offer your opinion, but you can't manage the guy. Period. And you're just friends, so no hinting around!

Be cool, be friendly.

Hope this helps.

And I'm sure you aren't, but try not to crow about your career advancements. A lot of really bright and hardworking ADD folks have a hard time getting their career to do what they want when they want it. Ouch this is getting close.

Anyway, if someone is depressed about their career, hearing of other people's rampant successes can be a downer. It certainly would to me. And I think you are worried about the same, cause you mentioned it in your post.

And that was the hard part.

i hear you