View Full Version : ADD, mothers, children, and all those freakin' TOYS!


krisp
09-21-04, 06:34 PM
I'm reorganizing the kids' toy room as we speak. I had put the most popular items in nice open bins, so that the kids could easily get to what they wanted. My 3-y.o., however, has become addicted to dumping all the toys out! Making him pick up toys, putting him in time-out ... those things don't seem to faze him. He just wants to play with the bins! I tried to keep this system, because it's nice for my 6-y.o. and other children who come to visit. But I can't seem to stop the dumping behavior, and the whole situation is making me much too angry. :mad:

I have, BTW, tried giving him other cool boxes and containers to play with/in. His unholy thirst to empty every container in the house just cannot be quenched! :(

My plan is to put most of the toys away, in closed bins he can't get to, and bring a few out periodically. I want to make the toy room more of an activity center, rather than a dumping place for kid clutter. (I don't want to actually throw the toys out, since I'd also be punishing his brother.)

How do you all handle the toy issue? It has become a major source of stress for me, since my DS hit this "don't turn your back on me" phase...

Kimalimah
09-22-04, 04:05 AM
Krisp, you have my sympathy. Unfortunately, I think time is probably the only thing that will make a big difference. I used to think I'd never survive them being small. Looking for solutions is always good...makes you feel like you're accomplishing something. Then suddenly you find yourself saying "wow, they finally learned not to do ....." and realize they've moved on to "bigger and better" irritating behaviours. :D

Your plan sounds good, though. Sorting the toys into 3 groups might be an idea, too. His, his brother's, and common toys. His brother's go in his room, his own in his own room, and the common toys stay in the toy room. If there's only one room then the brother's stuff goes somewhere the little guy can't get to. Also helps to teach them respect for other people's possessions which is another hard lesson for them.

I have 2 boys (now 12 and 14) and when they were small they shared a room and the extra room was also a play room. At some point, it just didn't work anymore. In my case the older boy disrupted the younger, but the results were the same. We then cancelled the play room and each got their own. The advantage here is that the neat and orderly kid doesn't end up doing all the work for the chaos kid, AND the chaos kid's door I can shut and just not look at! ;)

Good Luck and they will grow up!! Being ADD I've chanted one of the following over and over again to calm myself down (picture me...clenched teeth, glazed over eyes, hair in all directions, nervously bobbing head)

"it's only temporary"
"nothing lasts forever"
"this too shall pass"
"enjoy them while they're small"
"little kids, little problems...big kids, big problems"
"when does papa get home"
"who can iI call, I gotta get outta here!!!!"

Get the picture, and I'm proud to say "I'M STILL GOING STRONG" hee hee.

Kim

clawless
09-22-04, 05:59 AM
Funny my little one has just started to do the same thing emptying all the toys out just to play in the box.

I emptied one out so he could have that one to play with, but guess what, it was the wrong one, he wanted a different coloured one to play in.

So i made it into a game with him that he could have the blue one, if he put all the toys that were in it into the Red one that i had emptied.

So now when he wants a different coloured toy box to play in, instead of emptying it all out on the floor he has started to swap the toys from box to box.

Some times he stops half way through as he finds a toy that takes his interest but that's OK but at least every things not out at once, and when he wants to go back and play with the box he's only has half left to swop over.

It did take a while to get him to do it, but now he sees it as a game he thinks its great.

I must say I quite like it that he keeps swapping the toys over now, at least that way he is constantly seeing and playing with different toys and i don't get that feeling "that was another waste of 20" or whatever it was on a toy that is forgotten about a few days later.

krisp
09-22-04, 08:43 AM
Alas, my child wants ALL the boxes, so he can string them in a long line to make a train! :rolleyes: But since most of the toys seem not to interest him right now, he won't freak when they disappear .... right?

(picture me...clenched teeth, glazed over eyes, hair in all directions, nervously bobbing head)
Kim, are you my long-lost twin? :D I've been wondering how I'll survive their childhood too. They are amazing and fun, but they are also maddening, destructive little buggers. I think I need to hire a sitter and disappear for a few hours to regain my perspective...

EYEFORGOT
09-22-04, 09:11 AM
I loved the swapping idea...

That said, Krisp, it's a play room. I don't have one. (I'm not a disgruntled house wife, no jealousy intended), just "motherhood is the necessity of invention". So, here's the rules at our house:

I don't mind kid clutter. They clean up before nap/quiet time in the afternoon and before bed at night. My youngest learned first with his favorite toy, his trains. I now say "time to clean up", that's the first thing he goes for...unless he's cranky and doesn't want to stop playing (hey, we're human). For the older ones, they help me clean up if I have to vacuum (I'm not consistent with my timing on that). The youngest is afraid of the vacuum cleaner so he hides in his room or goes outside. We're also trying to implement the rule (especially with the 5 and 7 year old) that if the toys are picked up in the living room and den they can watch TV, a little self-discipline training.

I home school and babysit other children...my house is not pristine, it's not going to be...lower your expectations to a smiling level. You don't have to become a jellyfish with no standards, but (I mean this nicely, been there done that) you can lighten up.

Just my note from experience...hope I didn't tick you off, take what you want, leave the rest.

krisp
09-22-04, 09:40 AM
You didn't tick me off at all. But my standards are already pretty low, trust me. ;) Until recently, we just did the periodic pick-up and vacuum each afternoon, and that worked fine. But the level of destructiveness and messiness has gotten out of hand now. Maybe it's because their dad has been traveling so much ... I don't know. But my little clutter monster can destroy a room in the time it takes me to pour another cup of coffee!

Maybe the key is to lower my DH's standards, so we can all live together in happy squalor. :D But that's a subject for another post...

Kimalimah
09-22-04, 10:19 AM
Krisp...if you can afford a babysitter and can find one I would really encourage you to take advantage of it. Being so far away from home and having a difficult child made it almost impossible for me, but those times that I could arrange were pieces of heaven. It was, and continues to be, critical for me to have a sense of my "self" not just as Mom and wife, but ME. Getting away gave me the energy to jump in and do a better job with my kids. It de-fused me, so to speak.

Hang in there sister! :)

clawless
09-22-04, 11:11 AM
Alas, my child wants ALL the boxes, so he can string them in a long line to make a train! :rolleyes:

Just a thought:-

You could always try getting him some cardboard boxes from the supermarket, that you can collapse up and down as need (they don't take up that much space then) and he can then play trains whenever he wants without him emptying all the toy boxes out plus you could get him to crayon or paint them it would keep him happy for hours. :)

krisp
09-22-04, 11:37 AM
Just a thought:-

You could always try getting him some cardboard boxes from the supermarket, that you can collapse up and down as need (they don't take up that much space then) and he can then play trains whenever he wants without him emptying all the toy boxes out plus you could get him to crayon or paint them it would keep him happy for hours. :)

That is a great idea, and we do have some great boxes. He loves them. But he still wants the toy bins empty, too. (Maybe because they don't break as easily?) I think I will just have to remove the bins for awhile, and maybe redecorate the toy room while I'm at it. Padded walls and a trampoline floor, that's what we need .... :D

clawless
09-22-04, 04:43 PM
Padded walls and a trampoline floor, that's what we need .... :D

Oh sometimes, how i wish we could have an extra room built, so it was just like the wacky warehouse, all soft playareas with built in slides and a ball pit what a great place that would be. just think of all the energy they would use up, playing there every day and not getting hurt. Oh what a lovely dream :)