i wanna just vent out...

my senior clerkship/internship has not been alright, i have been lagging out on paperworks. i have paperworks that were due 3 months ago that i still don't wanna start doing them. everyday i attend duty i get more and more paperworks to dump aside.

i also have lost interest in finishing the 6 months i have left. i attend, force myself to attend duty which is 7:30am to 5pm the next day (if you compute it, its 33 hours and 30 minutes of almost non-stop work,) then i get home at 6pm, try to do the things that make me happy, 1 of internet surfing, 2 episodes of scrubs, play with my niece for 30 mins, etc, then i'd be so tired to do anything when its 9pm. i'm not even supposed to have time for those if i was gonna be a good student and just write my stupid paperworks.
-and the worst part of, u only get 14hours and 30 mins of being off duty.... the cycle goes like this. 33+hrs of duty, 14+hours of offduty.. repeat (our school is trying to kill us)

its 6:47am right now, i still haven't decided if im gonna attend or not. but then i usually end up attending anyway, coz id have 7 people hating me for giving them more workload.

i really don't know how i'm getting through this. this is the worst year of my life. its not that i didn't expect this much stress and pressure. i knew how hard this was gonna be, i just didn't expect my ADD weakness to affect me this much. our class of 98 already had 4 students quit and i'm afraid im gonna be number 5 soon.

hm BeKindToEDWARD,
is that Freudian, ya think?

You can't quit now, you've told all of us how hard it is, now I'm gonna be checking up on you!:)

Truthfully Edward it amazes me anyone ever gets thru what you are probably going thru (medical field, right?).

But ya know it ain't gonna get any easier, dude! Count your blessing if you're in a time of your life that you can devote to this career. Not married, no kids, just you right?

Come on Edward you can do it we'll be pulling for you. You're all in the same boat, all 94 of you, now right?

Are you able to see the end of the tunnel in the near future? How much longer will you be having to push yourself like this?

Hang in there! Papers 'smapers you're walking the walk...

How about this, priortize your days, make a list each nite of one step you'll commit to doing the next day on your paperworks.
THREE month-old project that's been hanging over your head, sounds like taxes or something.
Make me a promise now, no clubbing until you do ONE thing towards this project, ok?

ok big mama signing off now, lecture done
take care and UPDATE us!!!

Edward

We aren't quitters

We are getting fired ers

so you cant quit

we need ADD doctors

i appreciate the reply guys. so here's an update:

i didn't attend duty. i can imagine how mad that made my groupmates.

i went to another psychiatrist and i just got back. this one was better i think coz this one actually listened. and i got a prescription for 30 caps of concerta. :)

im feelin a bit of relief. i thought i was gonna have a hard time getting a prescription. thank God, now i don't have to wrestle with myself just do those damn paperworks. i should be able to finish all of them in a week.

this support group is great.
to charlie: ey tnx for the advice, yeah organizing should be easier now with the meds
to garry: nope i'm hanging on.

i'll update you update you guys every now and then aite. thanks again. God bless you all