View Full Version : Confused all of the time, advice please?


jojorenee
11-06-11, 09:03 PM
I have OCD, no doubt. Pure-O.


and well, I have no idea if this has to do with anxiety, or just ADD.


Okay, well, with guys I am confused with who I like and who I don't, and sometimes I want to jump into relationships just because I hate being alone, but then realize I don't like that person that much...then again I think it's also because I like giving people a chance. I really do...but see, I'm confused as to why I always second guess myself all of the time about everything, including relationships. I have some severe anxiety, so maybe it's just me being afraid to feel something, scared of what people will think, scared of what I think, but at the same time, scared of being alone? I worry so much, and it makes no sense. :( I just need some advice, please?

rickymooston
11-07-11, 07:42 PM
Fair warning. Its easy to come to the conclusion you have a ton of disorders.


Okay, well, with guys I am confused with who I like and who I don't, and sometimes I want to jump into relationships just because I hate being alone, but then realize I don't like that person that much...then again I think it's also because I like giving people a chance. I really do...but see, I'm confused as to why I always second guess myself all of the time about everything, including relationships.


This is probably fairly normal. You don't know the other person and you are looking for somebody or you are mildly attracted to them.

We you "think" you like somebody, you are using heuristics, which are "rules of thumb" we use in absence of information. People use heuristics all the time and some of the are o.k., others can be considered bad. (Racism is a bad heuristic, for example).


I have some severe anxiety, so maybe it's just me being afraid to feel something, scared of what people will think, scared of what I think, but at the same time, scared of being alone? I worry so much, and it makes no sense. :( I just need some advice, please?

Well, anxiety always depends on the degree. I used to have some social anxiety too (most likely within the "normal" range); I was shy and introverted. I still sometimes worry about what people think excessively. I try to accept that i'm a "geek" and hence to learn not to care what they think too much.

I don't like being alone either. In terms of dating relationships, if you don't need somebody, that's the best time to find somebody. That is, makes friends, don't think abouyt dating at all. Wen you meet somebody you really like, over time you will know.

Oddly the less you appear to need others, the more attractive and confident you become.

Conman
11-07-11, 11:34 PM
trust me, i know that feeling as well. i shrug off the feelings unless i actually am very good friends with the girl(s) and considering things. but then i realize 'do i actually like them relationshipy or am i just trying to kill the loneliness?' and i realize so far, that most of the time it is trying to kill the loneliness, i probably wont find the right girl till college.

jojorenee
11-13-11, 08:17 PM
Fair warning. Its easy to come to the conclusion you have a ton of disorders.

So, do you mean I just have a whole bunch of disorders then??? /:

Oddly the less you appear to need others, the more attractive and confident you become.

True.

jojorenee
11-13-11, 08:18 PM
trust me, i know that feeling as well. i shrug off the feelings unless i actually am very good friends with the girl(s) and considering things. but then i realize 'do i actually like them relationshipy or am i just trying to kill the loneliness?' and i realize so far, that most of the time it is trying to kill the loneliness, i probably wont find the right girl till college.

I so agree! Maybe that's just what I'm doing! lol.

Dysmania
11-20-11, 02:20 AM
So, do you mean I just have a whole bunch of disorders then??? /:



No I don't believe that's what he meant. I think he wanted to say: it's easy for someone to ASSUME they have many disorders when in fact they are concerns that happen to most of us at one time or another. :)

rickymooston
11-27-11, 12:29 AM
So, do you mean I just have a whole bunch of disorders then??? /:


Nope. I mean, any of us, hell any NT, out of context could self misdiagnose. (I probably could think i have OCD, seasonal affective disorder and tourettes in addition to my ADHD-PI. I'm totally unsure. Probably I don't but I have some of the symptoms of some of these to some extent I guess.)

I'm not qualified to diagnose anybody. :D If you give me symptoms that sound a lot like my ADHD, I might tell you that I think you might have ADHD. That wouldn't even mean you have ADHD. It just means, that some of your symptoms, as you describe them, are similar to mine.

Depression and anxiety must be particularly tricky to diagnose? I mean, every human gets these to some extent. If your chemistry is "out of whack" so that either you "overreact" or react for no reason at all ...?

:)

headinacloud
02-12-12, 09:12 PM
2 years ago I never knew what I wanted and always chickened out of relationships. I was so confused on whether I wanted to give this guy a chance because my typical ADD self was screwing with my judgement. I kept second guessing and freaking out because I didn't know what I wanted to do. I had to keep ignoring the "what ifs" and eventually felt comfortable in the relationship. still together and so happy I just kept calm and went with the flow of things :)