Issue is - Father has not been involved in the last year and half. When he was it was on and off like 4 hours maybe once per month by his choice.

He filed for visition the month after child support started being taken out of his check after 7 years and not one call in the last year and a half to even ask how he is doing.. (he has my address and phone number and has been to my home)
My son has been diagnosed with ADHD and is being looked at for Aspergers syndrome.

WE had mediation and here is what happened.
I had mediation yesterday with my sons father. I can not even explain how it was. I was basically made to feel small, unimportant, and made fun of in a general way. I could go into details but I will hit the high points for you.

I brought up that the child is a special needs child diagnosed with ADHD and being observed for possibly also having Aspergers Syndrome which is a type of Autism. I asked that they reintroduce themselves slowly and that the father go to counseling or parenting classes for these types of children so that we could work into the every other weekend option with as little impact to the child as possible. I became under the firing line for this and since I had not been to any “classes” and that since the child is in regular class with regular children that the mediator completely dismissed any counseling or parenting classes before the father had a chance to say yes or no. The father then discounted me and stated that he believes that our child does not have problems at all, he doesn’t have any of this, and that he is a very normal child with issues that will clear themselves up in time. I explained that he has been diagnosed by his doctor for ADHD and all I got was “So you say”. He lied and said that he use to spend Friday – Sunday with him every other weekend for 6+ years. Truth is he has probably seen the child a total of 100 hours or less in his whole lifetime and never been with him overnight. It was a nightmare. I did not argue because I didn’t see the point of what it would accomplish since the mediator doesn’t make any decisions.

I was pretty much told that the judge will roll her eyes at the ADHD issue “oh no not another one” and that they do not have time to personally look at every child, that I needed to agree to something that he will agree to or he will get every other weekend right off the bat. The whole meeting was like this. I am not good with confrontation and the feeling of being attacked and laughed at to my face so I tried to do the best I could to keep it together.

I offer that he go to the counsler meetings, the dr meeting the parent teacher confrences and I got" I dont care about that I dont have time for that anyway. "


Does no one care? has anyone else gone through this or had anything like this come up? How do I help my child cope ?

Im so angry that the system is like this. I am told no one cares and that ADHD is not a special need and not a big deal

I do not think that it is the system per se. It is the individuals in the system. I think that you got a crappy mediator. You could petition the courts for a new one. I also think that if the father doesn't care or want to make the time to find out how your chile is doing in school and talk to the dr then he is not really interested in being a father, just having a kid to tote around to "pick up chicks." This guy sounds like a real jerk, and anything that you can do to keep him away would be good unless some serious changes are made on his part.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like you do have a crappy mediator. Remember you are the Mama! Do not back down. It doesn't matter what your XH thinks, you have been the one that has been there for your child.

I am dealing with a similar situation myself. I don't really know the answers, or what options we have.

Traipser