I am wondering: does anyone else recoil at the thought of cooking with their children? Baking cookies together is supposed to be this classic ritual of family togetherness, but I can't stand to have anyone in the kitchen with me when I cook.

It seems silly, but that one issue sort of represents all of the lack of accomplishment as a mother for me.

When I'm preparing the main meal I want everyone out as well. But, I do let the kids help with side dishes, deserts and snacks. They have to start somewere right?

I am wondering: does anyone else recoil at the thought of cooking with their children? Baking cookies together is supposed to be this classic ritual of family togetherness, but I can't stand to have anyone in the kitchen with me when I cook.

It seems silly, but that one issue sort of represents all of the lack of accomplishment as a mother for me.

You are not alone!!! Especially with baking where you have to be so precise, and keep careful track of what step we're on. It's hard enough *without* distractions! And one small mistake = disaster!!! I hate that moment where you taste the end product, something isn't quite right, you look back at the recipe and realize that it says 1tsp of salt, *not* 1 Tbls. :eek:

It *really* used to bother. Now, not so much. I have no idea why....

If I knew ahead of time that I'd be cooking with kids, then it was o.k. I had time to plan out what they'd be doing. I knew I could keep them contained at the table. The general plan of attack is that one kid keeps there finger on the spot I'm at in the recipe, I measure, and the other kid dumps it in. And they *know* not to touch the bowl in between steps!!! (it scares them when I turn over to the dark side. :eek: )

But, I hate turning around and running into someone. And if I need something in the drawer that my husband is standing in front of .... well, let's just say that he's glad I don't have the power to call down lightning from the heavens... ;)

So, the "knowing ahead of time" bit is key!!! I can get into a different mind frame, and just go with the mess and chaos rather than resisting it. :rolleyes:

Have you read through this thread? There are a lot of us out there - or maybe it's the company we keep.... :D http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5653

welcome to the forums, fivesofar.

wheezie

OMG!!!
i am so GLAD you posted about this !
i love baking but i have to throw out dry ingredients sometimes b/c my husband or my four yr old son will distract me..and i'll lose count of flour or sugar ! i hate that!
and i feel so GUILTY b/c my husband is the one that introduces our son to cooking, as usual, my toddler (just turned four) is a picky eater , and you can get them more excited if you let them help-so my husband did that with mini pizzas..and it worked! but i cannot scrape up the patience to do that. i do feel horrible about it.
and as far as baking cookies and whatnot..
i'm too much of a perfectionist
and i have a well oiled machine process when it comes to that

another thing:
before i got on adderall last winter
i would have bad experiences cooking dinner
my entree and side dishes were always off time wise
my entree would be done
but we'd have to wait 20 min. to get our sides etc
my husband said he can see a serious change when i'm on adderall
b/c now i can do an entire meal and time it well..
i even invited my inlaws for dinner
it turned out great.

I'm 100% with you on this one...and have also struggled with the feeling of being a failure as a Mom because I can't stand the thought of cooking or baking with my kids. I am fortunate because my husband isn't bothered by their chaos at all and so he does this with them.

Different strengths, different activities with the kids. Works pretty good most of the time and I have learned that it doesn't make me a bad mother. I am who I am and what counts is the love I show my kids in a hundred other small ways.

Kim

Everyone tells me I am a great cook. But I cannot bake though, anything that requires a recipe - I can't do it. And I always make things up as I go along so I can't always duplicate what I made if the family loves it. I make a HUGE mess in the kitchen and am not the least bit organized about it (I will go to the fridge 15 times instead of getting out everything I need). We dine out quite frequently and if I have something out that I liked I am able to figure out what things are in it and make it at home.

I don't do dishes though!! My husband goes to London on business and when he is gone I always call him telling him he needs to hurry home because there are no clean dishes and I can't possibly balance any more dirty ones in the sink!! I do somehow get them done before he comes home but it is by far the least favorite thing to do.

I forgot to talk about what the thread way about so I am adding it:) I have not taught my kids to cook either, it is way to messy and because I don't know how I do it -it is hard to teach someone else. Although they do know how to throw easymac into the microwave!!!

Maybe, I'm a little different because I had never touched a pan until I got married. I seriously caught the kitchen on fire at least 3 times during our first year of marriage. I find it an important skill that all my children must have. I'm a grab it and if it looks like it'll fit into the recipe throw it in type cook. I follow a basic recipe but am constantly tweeking them to make them fit my likes and dislikes.

My kids started with easy things like tortillas for snacks. They love making them because they are messy and easy to make. I do hate when they insist on sitting on my one counter though while I"m trying to cook and my husband OOOO don't get me started there. lol

Maybe, I'm a little different ...

ROFLMAO!!! :D maybe??? BWAA HA HA HA !!! ;)

Actually, though, not that different, (from me anyway, which isn't saying much ... ;) ). I didn't start any fires, ummm, that I recall anyway.... Anywho, I was the quintessential absent-minded chef!!! When I'm in the company of non-ADDers, I am often the only one who can accurately answer the question, "How many times can you boil a pan dry before you have to throw it away?"

(In case you were wondering, Yes, it *was* an ADDer asking the question! :D )

W.

since when is cooking some ritual for families?

I have to be in the right mind to do it or I'm impatience.....

I so much appreciated reading your post. I am new here and newly on ADD meds. What finally prompted this course of action is that I was having a terrible time after school witht he kids doing homework, in the kitchen while I tried to cook dinner. I would try to follow a recipe and one of the kids would ask me for help with a math question. Ugh! Another would need help with a word. The 3 kids would be talking to me a once at times. I was a wreck trying to keep things straight and NOT burn dinner. On top of that the kids came home from school STARVING so everyone wants to eat fast! The last thing I wanted was for my kids to think I wasn't interested in helping or hearing about their day but I just could not process everything at once. I a working on getting better prepared (ha!) at this hectic time of the day but I hear ya about kids in the kitchen. I did want to say there are other ways to bond with your kids then by baking with them. If baking is tough find something else thats not as difficult and your kids will remember that they did something fun with you no matter what it was because the point is not that you make great cookies but you enjoyed each others company. As a side note- we are moving soon to a bigger place and I do plan on kicking everyone out of the kitchen when I cook so I can be a pleasant, less harried mom before dinner.

I am just amazed! I thought I was the only one in the world with these problems. I do not cook mainly because i do not have the patience to stand and wait for food to be done, not to mention how tedious it is. I have burnt many pan's of boiling water, baked goods in my day. I just forget about things.

i remember hwen i was at school, in cooking...... i'd have a list of ingredients we had to get from the front of hte room.. only problem was that by the time i got to the front i forgot how much to get, and what i acutlaly needed to get too

I need a thread for add women and kids in general...
May I start one?
(wanders off to the thread spool)

I don't see why not...send me the link via pm we may have some of the same issue's if you don't mind me butting in once in a while and I may have a hint or two for ya as well.

i could never stand to bake with my kids.....i always thought i was a horrid mother. but, are those shows on tv showing the happy mom and kids baking together ever real? no. they have a clean-up crew and a bunch of people around and probably re-takes and re-takes....
now that my kids are much older, i let them help.

How To Bake A Cake
~Anonymous Author~ Light oven. Get out bowl, spoons, and ingredients. Grease pan. Crack nuts. Remove 18 blocks and 7 toy autos from kitchen table. Measure 2 cups of flour. Remove Kelly's hands from flour. Wash flour off. Measure 1 more cup of flour to replace flour on floor. Put flour, baking powder, and salt in sifter. Get dustpan to brush up pieces of bowl Kelly knocked to floor. Get another bowl. Answer phone. Return. Take out greased pan. Remove pinch of salt from pan. Look at Kelly. Remove grimy hands from bowl. Wash off shortening. Take greased pan and find 1/4 inch of nutshells in it. Head for Kelly who flees, knocking bowl off table. Wash kitchen floor, wash table, wash walls, wash dishes, wash Kelly. Call bakery. Lie down.

I recently had a heart-to-heart with one of my mom friends. Our kids played in another room while we drank tea and talked about how often we just needed to disconnect from our kids! I think many mothers feel this way. It's probably worse for those of us with ADD, since we are already feeling so overwhelmed that we wind up needing our "space" even more badly than the average mom.

I do spend time making/doing things with my kids, but I know my limits. When they're older, they may cook with me, but at this young age I know their presence would just stress me out. :rolleyes:

Hi!!

We cook together...family cooks /together stays together?

I read somewhere that you don't send a young man out into the world without knowing certain domestic skills. Since I have all male children this made an impression. Often times it is the young girl in the family who hangs with her mom in the kitchen.

Anyway, one of the domestic musts was to know how to wash, dry, and fold a load of laundry...and separate lights from darks. And to iron a shirt. My dad has never done a load of laudry in his life, and I don't think my husband has gotten any further than transfrerring wet clothes to the dryer. So I made sure they were trained.

Another, which applies to this thread is that they must know how to prepare a simple meal.

So they all have a specialty :) and their own apron :)

> Oliver..scrambled eggs,bacon, and grits.

>Nicholas....We used to have orange food day...."noodles, doodles,and cheese" when they were younger and that stuck with Nic (boxed mac&cheese, cheese doodles, and grilled cheese)

>Zander, who is my gourmet popcorn fixer upper, can grill some mean hamburgers

>Benjamin, the youngest ......makes any kind of soup and deli sandwiches...broccoli


and cheese his specialty :) ever heard of a kid who likes broccoli????



About having kids in the kitchen... Nic is my writer/reader/musician/sensitive male....
this is our quality time together.

He hangs out watching me cook and pouring his heart out. Something makes the talk easier when we are not looking face to face...I listen and respond,and he is less self conscious. Very special, cooking eh?

Sometimes we preapare a meal together with each family member being in charge of one item on the menu.......learning domestic skills! ain't it great??!!

Other times usually during the winter months we will make a huge mess make anything requiring flour........I know this because that is usually what I end up mopping off the floor and washing out of my hair.

One of the fun after school treats we make is the "cookie Pizza". YOu don't have to spend time baking batch after batch. I would rather clean toilets than wait around for cookies to bake.

The cookie pizza is then sliced into triangles an served with a big ole glass of milk.
Yum Yum


~gourmet~

I have all the patience in the world for children in the kitchen.
And cooking and baking with them.
When I cook with children it's always something I enjoy making.
And not something thats a chore to me like baking cookies is.


But adults thats another story.
I'm always saying No thanks I don't need any help.
They give me anixety.
I actually find adults can be less helpful in the kitchen.
And children can be more helpful.

Probably because adults think they are being helpful by saying.
Things like should I take that out of the oven.
When I have a timer set for when it needs to come out.
That is more distracting then helpful to me.
Children are happy to cook right along side you.

Cooking with my kids as always been one of the few activities I am able to do with them. i have terrible patience and concentration for a lot of other things.
I love it, and they start young here to help out and they love it.

I enjoy cooking with adults also ....i guess i just enjoy cooking in all the senses :)

Do you let them stir the pot?

Do you let them peel the hard boiled eggs?

Do you let the pick the ingedients from the pantry?

Not only fun, but quality time, and a learning experience!!!!! :)

When you make a cake do you let the kids lick the beaters?

~gourmet~

He hangs out watching me cook and pouring his heart out. Something makes the talk easier when we are not looking face to face...I listen and respond,and he is less self conscious.
I've found that doing something hands on (even if it's just you keeping busy) is the easiest way to talk with boys. I don't have a kitchen to use with the kids I work with, but I've found a fake food set that is particularly helpful with boys. We pretend to cut and eat the food while we talk.
~The way to a man's heart is through his stomach--even if it's fake!~ :p

I am adhd and do not "enjoy" cooking. To me, it's too time consuming and boring.

I have never been into "specialty" foods. I could eat eggs with cheese on them for every meal. (I am currently on Atkins.)

But even before Atkins, I would go on kicks of eating certain foods and not get tired of it. Whether it was tuna, or bagles or whatever. I don't need variety when it comes to food.

When I grew up, I was one of 5 kids. We were away chased out of the kitchen when my mom was cooking. So we are not gourmet cooks by any means.

I think my "artist/cartoonist/writer/painter/poet/piano playing/talkative/energetic/pack rat Mom" is also adhd so maybe she felt the same way I do regarding cooking and that's why she chased us out. Hmmmm?

Luckily, my husband is one of 8 boys whose dad had diabetes so his mom always cooked everything bland, bland, bland. No spices. No taste. No competition for me. :)

My husband also lived with a bunch of guys when I met him and they lived on hamburger helper. So again, no competition for me to be the worlds best cook.

As someone mentioned earlier, usually when the kids get home from school, they are hungry so they eat something. Then my husband gets home and he's hungry. Sometimes he cooks or barbeques. By the time I get home at 6pm, I am tired and don't feel like cooking. If I do, nobody is hungry so it's a waste of time. I don't enjoy dirty pots and pans, cleaning the table off, scraping dishes, loading the dishwasher, so what's the point.

They are all healthy and eat when they are hungry. I just fix my eggs with cheese. :)

My 14 year old daughter is the exact opposite of me when it comes to cooking. She loves it. She watches the cooking channels constantly even when her friends are here. I jokingly tell her friends that they don't have to watch "those shows" and they just giggle. It's so funny how she does that.

She's also majorly into making smoothies. She's the only kid I know that asked for a blender from her birthday. Maybe she'll be a master chef one day and will teach me how to cook. (I will have to be majorly medicated to pay attention.)

I'm glad I'm not alone in this add/adhd non cooking world.

I abhor cooking and I have no one to fall back on. I have twin 7 year olds and a 10 yr old. I spend loads of money on eating out.

I feel like a failure regarding feeding my kids. My ex husband loved cooking.

I felt better after reading in an add book that the whole ordeal of shopping lists, grocery store (with the kids in my situation as I have no family here or inlaw family), then unloading the car, putting groceries away, deciding on menu, then cooking and of course then cleaning. I HATE it all. When I read that it is a nightmare for the add brain, I felt a little relief in knowing "no wonder" and a LITTLE less guilty. Any suggestions would be a wonderful pm to me!

Your kids are the perfect age to start helping constuctivly.

They can help plan menus (we use getting to choose the entire meal as an incentive for good behaviour or they could eat liver everyday the choice is theirs). lol

My son can nuke just about anything, my daughter is great at heating anything that comes from a can, both kids know how to make tortillas and are learning how to make bread (with the machine of course). We used cooking as a learning tool when my daughter was having trouble with her fractions.

Your kids can grate cheese, etc.

I'd look into easy no fuss meals that you can find at kraft, one pot meals or crockpot meals. There are a lot of suggestions in the cooking section of the forums.

Shopping is divided I have my store layout memorized and give my kids a list one for the left side of the aisle, one for the right side and I simply walk down the middle of the aisle as the kids grab whats on their list and cross it off. At the end of shopping we treat ourselves to ice cream or a night out for supper. I found the more involved they are the less likely they are to start screaming for this and that. Keep em occupied is my theory.

Good luck!!!!!

[QUOTE=Gourmet]Do you let them stir the pot? Only if I'm right there to watch them.

Do you let them peel the hard boiled eggs? Yep, but I do advice you to make a few extra

Do you let the pick the ingedients from the pantry? Yep, I'll will even go as far as letting them know I don't have a clue what is for supper and let them choose our menu from the pantry contents. We once had maccoroni and cheese, green beans, corn, spinach and bananna splits for supper.

Not only fun, but quality time, and a learning experience!!!!! :)

When you make a cake do you let the kids lick the beaters? No, I read somewere that the raw egg can be harmful to their health and never had the time to research it. Generally when I'm baking cakes it needs to be perfect (its the OCD in me) so I let them make a small bowl of pudding by themselves to eat afterwards.[Quote/]

If I'm in a hurry and short on time I generally kick everyone out of the kitchen; but, try to make sure the kids help at least twice a week a piece we not only get to talk but I did not know how to cook when I got married and feel everyone should know how to properly feed themselves.

Do you let them stir the pot? Depends how old they are at the time

Do you let them peel the hard boiled eggs? Sure why not ??

Do you let the pick the ingedients from the pantry? Yep

Not only fun, but quality time, and a learning experience!!!!! :)

When you make a cake do you let the kids lick the beaters? making a cake would not be as fun if you cant lick the bowl,, beaters, and the scraper :rolleyes: :p :)
~gourmet~

Here is picture i took of kids i babysat last summer. We had made chocolate cake :eek: . I hose them down after :rolleyes: :p :)

digitl, I glad you lick the beaters too :)

Thank you for showing the photograph......I know y'all had fun!

I will keep the hose in mind the next time we make our gingerbread house.

We can never seem to make it in time for Thanksgiving or Christmas, so we make it at Easter! We decorate it with jelly beans, and ginger cookies shaped like chicks and bunnies.
It's another one of those hose off the floor projects!







~gourmet~

Oh, I so hate cooking! Before I had kids I survived on (literally) pop tarts and frozen pizza.

If you don't like baking with the kids, do what I do and get those refridgerated cookies plus a couple different containers of sprinkles. You slice or break apart the cookies, they put them on the cookie sheet and decorate. We're still "baking" together and having fun, just maybe not in the June Cleaver way.

I actually like baking stuff in the kitchen with my kids (not on the stove so much, because I worry about them getting burned). My 3 year old can mix the pancake batter and my 7 year old can flip the pancakes. My Mom didn't let me do that much as a kid -- I really find it fun with my kids. As distractible as I am, it's not really a problem, because I just go over the recipe a bunch of times to be sure I didn't forget anything. Having them help while I'm cooking supper is a different matter. I sometimes do let them help, but I don't enjoy it as much.

I really don't enjoy my husband cooking in the kitchen while I am. He's an excellent cook (used to cook for Olive Garden), but he and I run into each other a lot and he makes me look like a neat freak! I think he's ADD too (but he doesn't want to get diagnosed, but he has classic symptoms -- so there's way to much energy, irritability, impatience and general confusion with both of us in the kitchen at once!:p

Scattered

Do you let them stir the pot?

Do you let them peel the hard boiled eggs?

Do you let the pick the ingedients from the pantry?


Because of my schedule at work , 2 days a week i come home at 5:05 and leave around 5:45 pm, no time to cook... In the winter i use my crock pot a lot. But summer,, yuck for big hot meals..

Anyways , lol..all this to say that my kids have both those days to decide what we are going to eat for supper. My oldest is 13 ( 14 on saturday sigh...) and my baby is 8 yrs old. They are able to prepare a lot of stuff, they are pretty good cooks, and they dont just make cereal :eek: LOL..

I think having the kids join at a very young age into the cooking thingy,,,they actually enjoy cooking later on in life. When you are not thought how to cook earlier in life, i think you somehow see this as a big deal to make stuff from scratch ect.. And it is so not that long really, i am glad my kids like to cook, i wont have to worry about them not eating later heheheeh......