View Full Version : Artistic Outlets:


MissADDer
01-12-12, 06:32 PM
I love to write poetry and find it to be therapeutic for me. Here is a thread for everyone to share their artistic expressions in living with, dealing with and positively coping with these symptoms. While I personally don't mind constructive criticism, remember that these are emotional expressions and are very personal, so lets keep it positive and encouraging.

So to start it off, Here is a poem (although a still a work in progress),I wrote about me and my ADHD. :o

The ADD in ME

So, I told you I have ADD,
Easily distracted combined with impulsivity,
You shrug it off as a normalcy,
“Lots of people lose things and day dream.”
No.
It’s not that easy,
Allow me to explain,
ADHD symptoms are not an annoyance
Or a botheration,
Symptoms bring anguish when demonstrated.
Let me explain how my ADD affects me.

Forgetfulness,
Such an easy word to say,
Cannot begin to explain,
What I forget in a day,
My keys,
A cup,
Appointments made,
Or even something in the microwave.
And let’s not forget-bills I forgot to send on their way.
I carry them around,
For weeks on end,
Money in the bank,
DAMN! A pink cancellation notice, again.
Who does that?


Rooted in childhood,
Homework late nights,
Tears streaming from my eyes,
“I can’t do it”
“I am not smart enough.”
“I can’t remember the mathematical steps”
11PM
Frustrated tears and aggravation.

FINALLY-finished and sleep deprived.
I wake in the morning,
late again,
Rushing out the door,
And DAMN!-Left my finished work by the front door, again.

Which brings me to my second symptom of ADD,
How this Add is so frustrating,
Always late,
“No concept of time”-My dad would call,
As I was getting ready down the hall.
Child crying and wondering-
“Why do I have to be this way.”


Grown up with more places to be,
Work,
events,
parties, and doctors appointments,
Waiting without empathy,
Begrudging looks great me as I arrive.
Lazy and selfish is what they think.
Getting out the door is so- ******* hard for me,
15 minutes to find some sox,
10 to find the a matching shoe,
10 minutes to find my keys,
Please keep focus until I can leave,
Doomed if I find something interesting.

Which is, how do I explain this contradictory?
My ADD affects my hyper-focus-ing,
Hyperfocus,
That is a real thing,
Only if something is so interesting,
I fall into a focus
Unbreakable and deep,
No track of time,
Or even people talking,
Can distract me.

Strong bonds of hyper active thoughts,
Trapping me by trapping my mind.
Time on the internet,
Looking up an answer
to a question,
Playing on repeat in my mind,
Although it’s not all bad,
direct it,
harness it,
Amazing brilliance exerts,
Until I realize I'm 20 min late for work.

Executive functions,
Misfiring and rewired,
See, my ADD makes it impossible for me,
To change a topic in my brain,
Can't make transitions smoothly,
So I have A repetitious thought for most of my day.
Great if the message is positive,
Often times not,
I am brutally beaten,
A victim to my thoughts.

My third point, I will try to explain,
Focus,
The one people THINK they know to blame,
They don’t understand.
No ability to focus on the task at hand,
I put it off,
I ignore it,
I wait until the last possible minute,
Intelligent to know it’s not right,
But I get lost- when my day dreams take flight,
Staring right at your face,
Not hearing a word,
A head nod on que,
To make you think I heard.
Flowers,
exotic places,
things I want to do,
These all seem so romantic,
I may even be day dreaming about you.
It’s ****** up,
I was not listening,
Unintentional,
Regretful,
not meaning disrespect,
But people get ******.
I guess, they can only take so many,
“what?”
“What was that?”
“What did you say?”
It’s not because my ears didn’t hear the words
somewhere on the path to my brain,
The words gets lost,
This makes me feel insane.
“I was 3 feet away.”
“Why couldn’t I just listen?”
“Why do I have to be this way?”

Now, my final point is crucial to my chaos,
Not caused by the ADD in me,
But a painful byproduct,
Years of reprimand,
Never understanding myself,
Why I could not pull it together like everybody else,
Self Constructed- vicious insecurities,
Always forgetting,
Always late,
Day dreaming
Not hearing what you say.
Socially unacceptable behavior,
In school,
the work place.


The life I have been living-a complete hell,
Lifetime of being labeled inadequate,
“If you would just try harder…”
“If you had better time management…”
“If you weren’t so lazy…”
“Your room is such a disastrous mess..”
“You’re so smart why can’t you do better than this?”
Echoed throughout my high school days,
And before.
In fact, as long as I can remember,
I have been ******* people off,
Like some kind of social ques offender.
Years of doubting myself,
My ability,
My intelligence,
Have left their mark,
Scars that go deep-in my heart,
Countless nights I have lain awake and cried,
At one point I even wanted to die,
Why can’t I just get it together like everyone else?

Devalued.
Feeling like a freak.
I was 28 when they diagnosed me,
Melissa you have ADD.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Your brain is just wired differently.


So for the last year,
A journey of learning to cope.
Cope with the way I see things.
Cope with the way I do things.
Cope with all my thinking.
While this is a start,
The first step of a journey,
I have along way to go,
My diagnosis is not a cure,
It is just a step in knowing,
how to get somewhere.
Somewhere better,
A healthy state of mind,
A place where I can find,
My car keys,
And arrive somewhere on time.

Continuously working,
With my fair share of setbacks,
Anxiety,
Depression,
Low self esteem,
Doubting myself.

Evil spawn of living with this condition-
Without ever being told:
Your brain is wired different,
you need extra steps,
It’s not impossible,
If you work hard at it.
Work that I am determined to do.

So don’t down play my ADD,
Don’t act like it is something simple.
Easy to fix.
That everyone deals with,
Easily distracted combined with impulsivity,
Shrugged off as a normal way to be.
Everyone loses things and day dreams.
But my ADD has emotionally SCARED me.
And that is NOT the way EVERYONE lives.


I beg for your patience,
A little understanding,
And sometimes to forgive,
My heart is genuine,
Always loyal to my friends,
But remember: when I meet your wits end,
I am a work in progress.

julesjampot
01-12-12, 06:40 PM
Lovely poetry ,if you have the creative feeling share it with us on the chit chat section,there is a place for poems and creative things Enjoy Jules