View Full Version : I'm not sure what to do... Pretty long, please help!


gamer6592
01-14-12, 04:13 AM
So... I just started getting "evaluated" by a psychiatrist in September. My job and schooling were at risk and my boss at the time pulled me aside and basically told me I need to speak to someone about getting my mind focused and taking care of this awful lack of concentration.

That's when it clicked. My father has ADD and I have always been like this. (Lol. My ADD was so bad I didn't pay enough attention to know I had it.) Lol. Well anyways, the Dr tried putting me on Adderall. He started me off with a prescription of 5Mg and told me to basically build it up myself until I feel comfortable. Well a few months and a few Rxs later, I am now at the perfect dose of 20Mg in the morning and 20Mg in the afternoon.

So, this medication has helped me A LOT and I went from being one of the worst in my class at work to literally being one of the best on the entire production floor (not trying to sound arrogant or anything. I work in a call center for a large franchise and there are about 200 representatives in my building alone and we have call centers all over America. My stats became so good I got to meet with the president of the company and some corporate people to give them my feedback/advice) Well I am quite convinced there is MUCH more wrong with me other than just ADD.

The Dr. gave me some tests in my first session and I came up "moderately depressed." I kinda knew that already (I never even thought it was as bad as "moderate" just kinda "slightly" but I did know I have been depressed for some time). Well as I have been seeing my Dr the last few months, we have both become more assured throughout time that I am bi-polar as well. This also makes sense because my depression and mood in general has never been permanent. It is ALWAYS completely spontaneous and in "spurts."

Then, me and my psychiatrist only talked about this briefly one time, and he gave me an Rx for Ambien so I could sleep but I hated how I felt the next morning so I stopped it and he reaffirmed for me to stop it, I think I have anxiety as well. A: Because I have spurts of extreme fear (I would say each session occurs once every 3 months or so, and lasts 1 1/2 to 2 weeks, with a couple anxiety attacks each day, often pertaining to an extreme fear of death for some reason and it has even kept me up 1-2 hours after I should be in bed, being why the Dr prescribed me Ambien)

ALSO B: because I am terrified of many other things such as pills. It took me a long time to get up to the right dose of Adderall, then the Dr prescribed me Lamictal (Lamotrigine) for my bi-polar disorder. I took it for about 4 days and then quit because I was VERY scared of the "rash" which is common with it. I have had these new anti-depressants the Dr prescribed me for a week now and i just built up enough courage to take my first 1/2 of a Celexa.) I'm also terrified of police. I don't do anything wrong (illegal) to have to worry about them. But when I hear sirens I freeze up and my heart rate changes like crazy and I instantly begin to irrationally think they are coming for me. I believe that is linked to a fear of prison/jail, which is ALSO linked to my claustrophobia.

Last but not least, I have had a pretty bad anger problem my entire life. The tiniest things **** me off to NO end and I will literally remain FUMING over something like stubbing my toe. I really hate talking about all this because I have like every mental disorder I can think of and it sounds like I'm a hypochondriac (which is one thing I actually don't think I have. I'm NEVER physically sick). The weirdest part of it all is when I'm with my friends, a lot of the time I still have a depressed/sinking feeling in the back of my mind but 99% of the time me and my friends are always laughing about something and I'm ALWAYS making others laugh. Not sure if this ties into the bi-polar thing or not.

Anyways. Sorry for the huge rant. If you guys could help me I would greatly appreciate it!! Thank you!

Etcetera
01-14-12, 04:50 AM
First off, I'm going to say welcome to the forum.

I don't really have much experience with bipolar or anxiety, so I will definitely not say yes or no to whether or not you have this. However, depression is a very normal state for anyone with ADHD, especially those diagnosed at a later stage in life. It is a good thing that you seem to connect well with your psychiatrist and that the two of you seem to trust one another enough to handle these problems.

As far as phobias goes, it is very normal to have phobias. I am extremely scared of heights/depths/falling that I often imagine it very clearly happening. "What if I fell down this stairs?", then literally feel myself falling down and imagining the pain it would cause, if it'd be lethal,... Actually very grim thoughts.

If you feel your fear of the police is too overwhelming (and I'm thinking you do), you should address this to your psychiatrist and ask if he can help with this.

As for anxiety and bipolars, you're at the right address. You seem to have successfully treated your ADHD, so now it's time to treat those two things. From what I've heard, trying to find the right medications for this, can sometimes take a little time.

Either how, you should be very proud of what you've now done in your professional career. You're right on track there and that definitely is worthy of a salute.

You're going in the right direction with a good doctor to guide you.

gamer6592
01-14-12, 04:55 AM
First off, I'm going to say welcome to the forum.

I don't really have much experience with bipolar or anxiety, so I will definitely not say yes or no to whether or not you have this. However, depression is a very normal state for anyone with ADHD, especially those diagnosed at a later stage in life. It is a good thing that you seem to connect well with your psychiatrist and that the two of you seem to trust one another enough to handle these problems.

As far as phobias goes, it is very normal to have phobias. I am extremely scared of heights/depths/falling that I often imagine it very clearly happening. "What if I fell down this stairs?", then literally feel myself falling down and imagining the pain it would cause, if it'd be lethal,... Actually very grim thoughts.

If you feel your fear of the police is too overwhelming (and I'm thinking you do), you should address this to your psychiatrist and ask if he can help with this.

As for anxiety and bipolars, you're at the right address. You seem to have successfully treated your ADHD, so now it's time to treat those two things. From what I've heard, trying to find the right medications for this, can sometimes take a little time.

Either how, you should be very proud of what you've now done in your professional career. You're right on track there and that definitely is worthy of a salute.

You're going in the right direction with a good doctor to guide you.

I see. Thank you for the speedy response :-) I suppose I will just talk to my psychiatrist next time and see what he thinks. The only thing still is I'm worried about him taking me off of the Adderall which still helps a great deal. Do you know of any disorders/medications which would cause the Dr to take me off Adderall? Thanks again for the help :)