View Full Version : Are you vain?


MissesS
01-28-12, 08:12 PM
I think i am and never really thought about it being possibly related to ADD until before i found this sub forum.

I lack confidence and self esteem. I feel pretty cr@ppy about myself most of time. I think I compensate by making sure I always look good because I feel good about myself...

I like my hair to be blow dried, I wear make up, I have loads of nice clothes and shoes, actually lots of nice things. I probably enjoy the attention I get too :lol:

I remember reading somewhere that women with ADD usually look untidy because they don't have time to invest in their looks. This isn't the case for me.

Most people feel good when they look good but maybe my issue is that I obsess a bit about it. I just know that most women I know are not like me.

Was wondering if anyone else is like this?

Brob2
01-29-12, 02:38 AM
I think i am and never really thought about it being possibly related to ADD until before i found this sub forum.

I lack confidence and self esteem. I feel pretty cr@ppy about myself most of time. I think I compensate by making sure I always look good because I feel good about myself...

I like my hair to be blow dried, I wear make up, I have loads of nice clothes and shoes, actually lots of nice things. I probably enjoy the attention I get too :lol:

I remember reading somewhere that women with ADD usually look untidy because they don't have time to invest in their looks. This isn't the case for me.

Most people feel good when they look good but maybe my issue is that I obsess a bit about it. I just know that most women I know are not like me.

Was wondering if anyone else is like this?

Yup. Except I haven't worn make-up since drama club in High School.

I'm always the best dressed and most expensively dressed guy in the room. I wear cufflinks half the time (solid gold usually) to work, have more shoes than most women (and my shoes are expensive) and my clothes take up 3 closets. I do lack self esteem though it has gotten much much better over the past few years since my diagnosis. I think I'm really smart, but I'm probably just smart. I love the attention I get for my humour (though most of the morons on here don't seem to get it:scratch: :)! ) and attire and manners and work success etc. oh wait, I think I better stop before I totally sound like an jerk, but yeah, I'm vain.

I ascribed to the ADD as a kid caused some self esteem issues theory since I was diagnosed and assume I have simply over compensated with the clothes and manners and mechanical watches, etc. So I don't beat myself up over it anymore. I like looking good so I just do it. And that has helped my self esteem a lot. I know I dress better than most guys but I also know I am not better than them because of it. It's who I am and who they are and it's all good.

Give me a call if you want to look good together ;).

trishcan
01-29-12, 04:11 AM
Hmm. This subforum is designed for those who have comorbid eating disorders/body image issues, so I don't think vanity or self-esteem issues related to appearance are necessarily related to ADHD, though of course... there are some of us with both.

GeordieDave
01-29-12, 05:16 AM
I'm not too sure really. As a kid I used to be very shy, low self esteem and not confident at all. I used to like walk with my head facing the floor. Not too sure how old you are, but now I am 22 and I have changed a lot. I sometimes have days where I feel like crap, but that happens to everyone. Now I'm sometimes too confident and cocky xD I know I'm good looking, I'm not amazingly good looking but you just need to think positive etc..

MissesS
01-29-12, 06:44 AM
Hmm. This subforum is designed for those who have comorbid eating disorders/body image issues, so I don't think vanity or self-esteem issues related to appearance are necessarily related to ADHD, though of course... there are some of us with both.

I'm sorry this post is inappropriate.

I was also thinking about my eating habits. I like to look thin. I never eat breakfast and sometimes skip meals during the days. Partly because I'm busy and forget to eat (and also due to the meds!) i know I should be responsible and eat. I think I justify the fact I don't eat because of these reasons. When I do eat it's chocolate or cake but I think the reason i do this is what they call self medicating?

Sometimes I have days at work where I've just drunk one coffee!

It doesn't bother me that i do this because I know it'll keep me thin (or thinner)

Is this like having an eating disorder?

MissesS
01-29-12, 06:55 AM
Yup. Except I haven't worn make-up since drama club in High School.

I'm always the best dressed and most expensively dressed guy in the room. I wear cufflinks half the time (solid gold usually) to work, have more shoes than most women (and my shoes are expensive) and my clothes take up 3 closets. I do lack self esteem though it has gotten much much better over the past few years since my diagnosis. I think I'm really smart, but I'm probably just smart. I love the attention I get for my humour (though most of the morons on here don't seem to get it:scratch: :)! ) and attire and manners and work success etc. oh wait, I think I better stop before I totally sound like an jerk, but yeah, I'm vain.

I ascribed to the ADD as a kid caused some self esteem issues theory since I was diagnosed and assume I have simply over compensated with the clothes and manners and mechanical watches, etc. So I don't beat myself up over it anymore. I like looking good so I just do it. And that has helped my self esteem a lot. I know I dress better than most guys but I also know I am not better than them because of it. It's who I am and who they are and it's all good.

Give me a call if you want to look good together ;).

:lol: This is me - I'm always the best dress women in the room!
And I have a lot of designer gear. It happens I like the style and the quality. I think most people probably don't notice or care but i do!

Problem is I'm nearly 35 and I'm like this? I'm a mum too. I don't deliberate try to look like I'm their nanny but I do. I'm thinking I may have age issues too!

:lol: I reckon if you were at the same party as me, i could pick out who you are :lol:

Driver
01-29-12, 06:55 AM
I'm sorry this post is inappropriate.

I was also thinking about my eating habits. I like to look thin. I never eat breakfast and sometimes skip meals during the days. Partly because I'm busy and forget to eat (and also due to the meds!) i know I should be responsible and eat. I think I justify the fact I don't eat because of these reasons. When I do eat it's chocolate or cake but I think the reason i do this is what they call self medicating?

Sometimes I have days at work where I've just drunk one coffee!

It doesn't bother me that i do this because I know it'll keep me thin (or thinner)

Is this like having an eating disorder?

It may not be an eating disorder in the strictest sense of the word, but it's a very poor diet and I think a full blood test would reveal you're actually malnourished.

It's important to eat a balanced diet when you have ADHD, otherwise it can make things a whole lot worse. Dehydration and low blood sugar just makes focus 100x harder.

MissesS
01-29-12, 07:13 AM
It may not be an eating disorder in the strictest sense of the word, but it's a very poor diet and I think a full blood test would reveal you're actually malnourished.

It's important to eat a balanced diet when you have ADHD, otherwise it can make things a whole lot worse. Dehydration and low blood sugar just makes focus 100x harder.

I've had loads of blood tests inc recently for pyrolle disorder. I have never received this feedback...i had very low iron at once stage that they blamed on pregnacy and 1 yr of breastfeeding.

But yeah, you are right. It is poor :umm1: I do manage to eat dinner and I cook pretty healthily. Perhaps this is what saves me!

Does diet have an effect on medication?

Driver
01-29-12, 07:22 AM
Some food items can affect the performance of meds (citric acid etc) but poor diet can cause poor focus, low energy etc in regular folk.

Fraser_0762
01-29-12, 10:39 AM
i gave up trying to look good before i knew how it important it was

Brob2
01-29-12, 03:39 PM
:lol: This is me - I'm always the best dress women in the room!
And I have a lot of designer gear. It happens I like the style and the quality. I think most people probably don't notice or care but i do!

Problem is I'm nearly 35 and I'm like this? I'm a mum too. I don't deliberate try to look like I'm their nanny but I do. I'm thinking I may have age issues too!

:lol: I reckon if you were at the same party as me, i could pick out who you are :lol:

Oh, yeah, we're on the same page. I have a dozen Strellson and Hugo Boss (and not that crappy old Boss red label stuff) suits in my closet that I guarantee most folks have no clue about with regard to it's quality, but enough folks do make comments that I get some appreciation.

And, I am an unabashed milk chocolate/ choc. cake *****. Cadbury's crack, as I call it. That is definitely self medicating :o. But I'm OK with that.

Oh, yes, I am in my 40's. I expect we will be able to pick each other out a party 30 years on ;). I'm OK with that too.

I do exercise a lot to make up for the crap calories and also go through periods of eating one meal a day, maybe with a bit of cereal, but I snap out of it after a couple of weeks (and 3 or 4 pounds). Not an eating disorder per say but more likely a 'lower mood period'.

spunkysmum
01-29-12, 03:52 PM
I probably think this thread is about me, don't I, don't I?

spunkysmum
01-29-12, 04:08 PM
I don't spend a lot of money on beauty products, clothes, etc. but I like to look as presentable as a can on a budget. I have a lot of clothes, but most of them were acquired either on deep discount or from a thrift store.

I'm hardly concerned at all about brand names, but on the other hand it feels good to acquire like-new brand-name jeans or purses for two dollars, getting the secret safisfaction of knowing I got the goods without the dent in my wallet to feel guilty about. I'm actually pretty proud of my killer finds in thrift stores, because putting together a really nice outfit featuring bargains top-to-toe feels like an accomplishment and is a lot more satisfactory than it would be to walk into a brand-name clothes store, pay full price for something and wear it. Anybody can do that, provided they have the money, but getting quality clothes for dirt cheap feels like an accomplishment. LOL


I'm probably a bit vain about my few better features, but I figure any average-looking person is entitled to be that way if it makes them feel better.

I don't feel human until I'm dressed and in make-up and have my hair washed. If knowing you look good makes you feel that much more motivated and optimistic about getting things done and hitting your stride (and for me it does) than it can only be a good thing.

emploding
01-29-12, 04:47 PM
I'm not vain, I couldn't care less about how other people view me.

However, I do have an eating disorder.

tudorose
01-31-12, 06:05 AM
I'm a scruff and dress for comfort rather than fashion (I hate shopping). I'm worried about my weight because it reflects my general state of health at the moment which is not great but I'm working on it.

Nautilus
05-07-12, 04:11 AM
I think this is a legit topic because it is about one's physical image and it can become a problem if excessive, like all the other physical image issues mentioned in this subforum. I think they can even be related in some cases (love/hate relationship) You'll see one example of what I mean in a second...

For me, it depends how you define vain.

I feel I put too much effort into my appearance, but only because I want people not to reject me (especially other girls, actually). A lot of girls put as much or more effort into it, but I feel fake about it and I wish I cared less about being pretty. However, I don't really like the way I look, even though I know I'm not considered "ugly" (or "gorgeous" either). But personally I don't really like my appearance... a self-esteem problem I guess.

I am really envious about girls/women who are comfortable in their skin (especially when they don't look close to the media's definition of beauty). I wish I had that confidence and happiness.

That's why it's very important to me that my boyfriend finds me physically attractive. When a guy criticizes my looks, even a little bit, I always dump them, which is kind of insecure because sometimes I know it's by accident and not because they're trying to be a jerk and "neg" me. But I can't handle thinking my boyfriend doesn't find me attractive, because then I'll think I'm ugly and I'll feel horrible about myself.

So, if "vanity" is arrogance about one's appearance, I don't have it. But, if vanity is being more focused on and sensitive about how you look than you know you should be, then yes, I have it a bit. I don't know if physical appearance issues are an ADHD thing. I never thought of it that way. I'm not sure it's connected... maybe just through low self-esteem.

Fuzzy12
05-08-12, 06:27 AM
I go through phases. Putting a bit more of effort into my appearance and trying to look good is part of my productive mode. I neither have the patience, the interest nor the time to spend a lot of time on my appearance but when I'm in productive mode, I try to wear nicer clothes and I wear make up.

I absolutely hate blow drying or straightening my hair because it's too boring for words so I've given up on it now.

I don't care about brands and when it comes to clothes I guess I go more for quantity than quality. These days I actually buy a lot of clothes from the super market because I just can't be bothered to go shopping exclusively for clothes.

I think this is a legit topic because it is about one's physical image and it can become a problem if excessive, like all the other physical image issues mentioned in this subforum. I think they can even be related in some cases (love/hate relationship) You'll see one example of what I mean in a second...

For me, it depends how you define vain.

I feel I put too much effort into my appearance, but only because I want people not to reject me (especially other girls, actually). A lot of girls put as much or more effort into it, but I feel fake about it and I wish I cared less about being pretty. However, I don't really like the way I look, even though I know I'm not considered "ugly" (or "gorgeous" either). But personally I don't really like my appearance... a self-esteem problem I guess.

I am really envious about girls/women who are comfortable in their skin (especially when they don't look close to the media's definition of beauty). I wish I had that confidence and happiness.

That's why it's very important to me that my boyfriend finds me physically attractive. When a guy criticizes my looks, even a little bit, I always dump them, which is kind of insecure because sometimes I know it's by accident and not because they're trying to be a jerk and "neg" me. But I can't handle thinking my boyfriend doesn't find me attractive, because then I'll think I'm ugly and I'll feel horrible about myself.

So, if "vanity" is arrogance about one's appearance, I don't have it. But, if vanity is being more focused on and sensitive about how you look than you know you should be, then yes, I have it a bit. I don't know if physical appearance issues are an ADHD thing. I never thought of it that way. I'm not sure it's connected... maybe just through low self-esteem.

I've got problems with self esteem as well, mainly about my weight and skin. I never realised how important it was to me how others perceive me till I started dating my husband. When I was younger I was quite happy with the way I looked. I never thought it was very important but I kind of took it for granted. I used to get lots of compliments but my husband never seemed to consider me beautiful. On the contrary, he was quite vocal in criticising my weight or clothes. He doesn't do it anymore (and he really doesn't care much about looks anyway) but it seems to have left a permanent dent in my self esteem and how I view myself. Ever since we've got together I feel rather ugly (though I know it's stupid and completely trivial anyway). It's just another area that I seem to be lacking in.

Melissashai
05-15-12, 04:57 AM
I never thought this had anything to do with my ADHD (other then the fact that I am an impulse shopper and buy now, think about it later:). I am the exact same way! I am 29 and still super concerned about appearance, I won't leave my house unless I am completely put together. Getting ready is one of the only things I take time and concentrate on doing. In college I was definitely a bargain shopper and would find my Louis Vuitton's, and Gucci's on ebay, but when I had the money I would go straight to the mall and buy them off the shelf. I am back to being a bargain shopper but still will shop ebay or others sites to get the best deal on what I want. I also get excessive amounts of the things I like, if that makes sense? I really liked the Pink line by Victoria's Secret (until I seen all the teen moms and basketball wives wearing it:) and bought pretty much everything in the line, I own 12 pairs of the yoga pants, and the 86 jersey shirt in every color offered. I get almost obsessed with a brand and HAVE to have everything in the line (at one point I owned over 200 Louis Vuitton purses). I am like a horder but because I am OCD as well I can organize and be a ridiculously clean and organized horder lol... Maybe this relates more to my OCD, but it would be interesting to find out if more ADHD-ers are the same way!