View Full Version : Interesting.


Pamplemousse
01-30-12, 01:07 AM
Ok, so on my campus I recently started seeing a counselor again. Except this time she has a doctorate in psychology and isn't just a counselor like the previous one I had. This lady can actually diagnose stuff, too which is kinda neat.

I started counseling again because I just need help figuring it all out. And she's helping me decide if this major is right for me. She listens, which is nice. But she also asks me a lot of questions. There was a question she asked though that was a little shocking, and quite frankly my answer was just as shocking.

(Now some of you may know that I seriously wonder if I have High Functioning Autism or Asperger's, but this really made me wonder again. lol)

First, she asked what interests me. I said horse racing. Then she asked what I like about it......I think I talked for 10 minutes about just horse racing. Maybe longer, I couldn't see a clock. She wanted to know how long I've been interested and I said since about 7th or 8th grade. I'm always doing/researching something related to horse racing.

But there was another question later on, the really caught me off guard (and this is the one where my own answer surprised me)

She asked me: "Have you ever felt really close to someone?"

I responded with "No. nobody except my mom because we have some similar interests. And of course, she's my mom"


I've never thought about this, but now that I do....I never have felt really close to someone. I have friends, but the bonds I had with them were never as strong as what I normally see between other people. Weird? Maybe. Even my own family members....I feel almost guilty right now

My mom is truly the only person I feel comfortable with, but I can never fully bring myself to share all my feelings, even with her. I can't find a way to express them properly....I don't really know how to explain this, so I'll stop trying.


And I think I now fully understand what a meltdown is, and I believe I have had several lately. When I was home for winter break, I forgot to put deodorant on, I got upset very fast (for something so trivial) and slouched down in my seat in the car and was complaining and yelling (on the verge of tears) because I didn't have it, and my parents wouldn't turn around or stop at a store to get some. Needless to say, I was told I was being a giant baby. I know...I just couldn't help it.

And again, now that my schedule changed and I'm back at college, I had a huge one and called my parents sobbing about how I needed to quit. (Don't get me wrong, I still want to quit) But the feelings were much much more intense right after the change in my routine.

(Also I feel like some of my sensory problems are worse right now)

Now I don't know if any of this relates to Autism or ADHD, maybe it's just a bad personality flaw. I don't know.

Can anybody with Autism relate to anything in this post?

known_guy
01-30-12, 02:52 AM
One time a few months ago I visited a friend in the city, spent the night over.

I completely lost it - freaked out - once I realized I had forgotten my wallet. Now, this friend of mine is considerably wealthy and spent inordinate amounts of money when I would spend time with him so money wasn't the issue. But for some unknown reason I just could not let this go. I remember my meltdown terrified him as he didn't quite get what was so "horrible" about me forgetting my wallet. I rolled up into a ball on his bed and cried. Uh, until he went out and brought me back cupcakes. Somehow, receiving those cupcakes finally got me to calm down. And everything turned out OK.

It's embarrassing just thinking about it. Yuck.

Pamplemousse
01-31-12, 12:43 AM
One time a few months ago I visited a friend in the city, spent the night over.

I completely lost it - freaked out - once I realized I had forgotten my wallet. Now, this friend of mine is considerably wealthy and spent inordinate amounts of money when I would spend time with him so money wasn't the issue. But for some unknown reason I just could not let this go. I remember my meltdown terrified him as he didn't quite get what was so "horrible" about me forgetting my wallet. I rolled up into a ball on his bed and cried. Uh, until he went out and brought me back cupcakes. Somehow, receiving those cupcakes finally got me to calm down. And everything turned out OK.

It's embarrassing just thinking about it. Yuck.

Phew, glad to know I'm not the only one like this. That's what I scared of. I'm scared of having a meltdown in front of a friend. I've had them in public, but none of my friends know that I may have HFA and certainly none of them know what a melt down is.

I'd have a lot of explaining to do if that ever happened...and I still probably wouldn't be able to get over it.

Rebelyell
01-31-12, 01:12 AM
Hopefully he still is your friend?The few friends I have I question if there friends or just being nice to me.I think my bro has aspbergers after my mom died he'd be on the bathroom floor crying nd I thought he did this for attention,the verdict is still out on that one.

known_guy
01-31-12, 02:08 AM
Unfortunately, no. But I terminated our friendship for unrelated reasons. He was actually very understanding of my ASD-like traits as well as my other comorbid conditions.

I'll just say that "love" got in the way of our friendship and leave it at that. :P

fracturedstory
02-01-12, 05:13 AM
I would have never picked you for an ASD. Yeah, those meltdowns I can relate to. I only tend to have really bad ones when overloaded by sensory stimuli. I bluddy hate change though. Now that I live with about three people I have to control myself so I don't explode every time something slightly outside of my plan for every day life happens.

I'm not close to anybody, especially now. I just gave up trying to make friends and rather spend time on my interests. Spent about 4 hours today reading peer reviewed journals. It's quite easy for me to not talk to anybody. I did it for the first 14 years of my life.

Lately my mum and I have had some deep and meaningful conversations...online.

GeordieDave
02-01-12, 07:38 AM
Can't say that I've had a melt down lately.. When I broke up with my girlfriend I couldn't express how I was feeling and I took an overdose which made me end up in hospital(stupid I know) no one knows about that apart from you guys and ym best friend, my mum was on holiday.

I've felt close to some people like my ex girlfriend, but obviously not anymore... my mum I can talk about certain things... and that's about it really.. my best friend is a good friend but we can't have a "serious" convo with out joking about it.. if you know what I mean.

fracturedstory
02-01-12, 06:57 PM
Yeah, I have a friend who I joke about things with. And once I wanted to seriously talk about a situation that happened but the person I live with made a joke and I just went with it.
I got locked out of my house and thought I would spent the night outside and I'm scared of the dark in the comfort of my room so. I could have passed out I held my meltdown in so long.

Spacemaster
02-01-12, 08:36 PM
I was very overtired and was all geared up to make Mac-n-cheese. I got the water boiling, got the butter and milk measured out, and went to the cupboard for the Kraft. Only, there wasn't any. I broke down for no reason and just started sobbing.

My mom came in the kitchen and I was bawling and she's all "Oh what's wrong?"
Me: "There's......*sob*.....no......*sob*.....macaroni and cheese!" *WAIL*
Oh, and I was about 16 years old at the time.

She looked at me like I was from outer space.

If I'm overstimulated, stressed, etc. it doesn't take much for a meltdown. I guess I must have been pretty whacked out to cry over F'ing Mac and cheese.

Fraser_0762
02-01-12, 08:43 PM
I had a feltdown the other day when I was in ASDA (I hate shopping). I couldn't find clothes that matched each other and fitted me perfectly. So I dumped the stuff I had in my trolly onto the shop floor and stormed out. :(

Gosh, I hope i'm aloud back to do my regular shopping. :D

Rebelyell
02-01-12, 09:30 PM
I had a meltdown today of nuclear proportions.My coworker was taking his home life w his wife problems out on me.When the chainsaw I was using got stuck in the wood as the tree fell over and hes making bent bar comments and dont start the saw because the chain was off it,I flipped called him a bleeping ahole 5 times,slammed down my helmet and saw the face shield as it bunced off the tarmac smash into 100 pieces.While co workers were telling me to calm down an let it go he was telling me for my safety.What really ****** me off is how these jerk offs defend each other.

fracturedstory
02-02-12, 07:04 PM
Last month I had a meltdown over Mac n' Cheese. It was partly because I was impatient to properly measure and stir the flour.

I had a meltdown at self service in K-Mart. The assistant was helpful though.

My latest one was when I was going to slice up some chicken for a stir fry and the cat was under my feet all day, and when I almost tripped over her while holding a large sharp nice I screamed "GET THE F**K OUT THE KITCHEN I'VE GOT A F***ING KNIFE!!!"
My 18 year old niece was in the next room. I'm not sure what she thought about it.

fracturedstory
02-02-12, 11:45 PM
Meltdown over baking cookies. Left my room in quite a mess. I still haven't gone out to see people's reactions.