We get lots of great ideas on how to handle our two kids, the younger of the two has ADD. As an example we've read "Parenting with Love and Logic" and try to use natural consequences. We've set up a reward system where there's a checklist to go over and give the kids points towards money based on how many checks they get through the day. We start out great and then poop out as neither one of us is good at maintaining the program over time. Eventually the kids see this and don't take our actions seriously. Any suggestions?

Maybe you and your wife need reward systems for yourselves too...

Let the kids run the rewards program for you

give them some motivation

You may be interested in a video or tape from this years ADDA conference session Parenting with Distractions: Surviving Family Life When You and Your Child Have ADHD

http://www.add.org


The numbers are:
V-B22
ADDA-B22

What's been interesting, from a parenting standpoint as we've progressed with our sons diagnosis of bipolar is how differently you need to learn how to parent. ODD(defiant) kids don't respond well to the consequence/reward parenting strategy, which most of us have learned. We're working on emphasing antecedents(anticipating situations that trigger our child) and understanding what's going on in his little head, or more frequently what's not going on. We've had to learn to pick our battles wisely. Only the most important issues are dealt with in the traditional manner of imposing the parents will. We try to spend more time in the education camp. treating the defiant behavior as a learning disability. The idea being, that if the child could behave or do well, she would. Hence the education rather than attempting motivation. ADD related misbehavior is related more to the child's inability to be aware of his actions due to being distracted, inattentive, etc. ODD kids are well aware of what they're doing yet don't have the social skills to behave appropriately. This has not been easy as our boy is very effective at creating turmoil and we lose our temper more than we'd like. The explosive behavior is very effective at causing "inept" behavoir in parents. This strategy is from "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene Phd. I strongly recommend it to parents who have children that are driving them crazy.