View Full Version : Bitter about ADHD diagnosis


kirala
02-03-12, 09:42 PM
For a long time now, since I was diagnosed last summer, I have had a lot of trouble coming to grips with the reality of that diagnosis. I just don't want to believe I have the disorder when it's no secret that these little pills (in particular, Adderall) are known to give ANYONE (with ADD or not) a huge boost in motivation, focus, and higher productivity.

I was put on Vyvanse by a psychiatrist, and yes, I saw a difference immediately, and of course I was very impressed by the change in me. Indeed, I was able to think linearly for the first time and follow through with a train of thought without losing track halfway through. I felt highly motivated to do whatever I wanted at that moment and to see it through.

If it's true that taking these pills help someone who truly has ADHD be "normal," then why do I regularly read stories about people popping a pill for the first time and then proceeding to clean their entire apartment, top to bottom, in one go? This is not "normal" behavior, whatsoever. And considering that this happens to nearly EVERYONE across the board makes me feel like there's a big chance that my diagnosis was wrong.

What doesn't sit right with me is that, basically, these are performance-enhancing drugs--like steroids. I am a mature college student taking 3 courses this semester and I am, for the first time in my life, able to study when I say I will study and focus for hours at a time without having a nearly irresistible urge to do something else other than what I'm supposed to be doing. And today I didn't take the pill at all and I'm back to my usual, unfocused self. All the motivation to succeed that I felt just yesterday while I was medicated has left me. Suppose I end up with a stellar GPA this term, what does that say about me? I would feel guilty about it, like I'd cheated my way through the term.

Someone please give me some advice.

Fraser_0762
02-03-12, 09:55 PM
Theres 2 different types of people in the world (well 3 actually, but the 3rd is irrelevant to my point).

The first type of person is somebody who is just lazy. Not because they can't help it, but because they choose to live their life in that manner. They do not wish to go anywhere with their life and they are quite content with lazing around all day doing nothing at all.

Then theres the second type (our type). We too are considered "lazy" by most people. But the difference here is, we do not wish to be lazy and unmotivated and unproductive, but we simply can't make ourselves change, no matter how hard we try. It drives us to frustration because we're always asking ourselfs why we can't change, no matter how much we want to.

The first group of people may take a stimulant, because they're under the illusion that they will magically get better grades and that the drug will some how make them more "intellegent". Of course, this isn't the case. And many NTers that take these drugs find that academically, it doesn't really help them at all. Instead they end up abusing the drug to chase a "euphoria". This is when it becomes dangerious to take them.

The second group (our group). We're prescribed these medications by professionals because we "need" them. Without them, we fall back into our old habits of not being as organized or as motivated as we need to be in order to get ourselves through our daily lives and hopefully help us meet targets that we never thought we ever had any hope of meeting.

By taking "Adderall", you aren't cheating. You're at an unfair disadvantage by not taking it. Most people can focus on things with a pretty clear mind, so they find it easier than we do to get through things. But we have very cluttered minds, we feel like our thoughts are all over the place and this makes it extremely difficult to concentrate on un-stimulating tasks for a long period of time.

Take your Adderall and take it with the knowledge that its a tool that you use to help bring you closer to an "even" playing field with non-adders.

BR549
02-03-12, 10:05 PM
What these medications do for people with ADHD is provide their brains the stimulation that they normally don't have. They increase motivation, pleasure and attention. Things that people with untreated or undiagnosed ADHD are constantly seeking. We constantly seek stimulation. Untreated, we find ways to provide our brains with what we aren't getting naturally. We shop excessively, gamble, abuse drugs, sex, the list goes on.

For people without ADHD, it enhances what they already have . For people with ADHD, it brings us to a level of normalcy in our everyday lives. For people with ADHD, they aren't performance-enhancing drugs in the sense that it give us an advantage over the competition. Like steroids. They don't do that at all. It brings us to the level we need to be to function normally. It doesn't enhance what we already have (thank heavens--I don't want to enhance my impulsiveness). We simply don't have it to begin with.

As far as people taking their first pill and cleaning their entire apartment, the first day on a pill for some is like breaking through a fog. It's as if they finally see what needs to be done and they can do it without getting distracted. Something they could never do before. It's also not indicative of how the medication will work for them each day. There is an adjustment period. Some people report a bit of euphoria their first few days, too. They feel great and happy. They want to get those projects done that they could never manage to finish before. Sometimes a persons dose is too high and that causes euphoria. It's not an exact science, ADHD medication. There are medication trials and titration periods to go through before many of us find the right med at the right dose.

As far as it happening to EVERYONE. It didn't happen to me. Of course, I wasn't on the right medication for me either. When I started Adderall, I didn't do that, either and it was the right med. I have, over the course of several months, cleaned and organized like there's no tomorrow. Part of it is because I NEED that organization. I need my space to be clean and neat. I can actually see how it helps me stay organized. Keeps me from being overwhelmed. Helps me keep track of things. Simplifies things for me, which is important.

Doubting your diagnosis isn't uncommon. I did it. Didn't want to believe I had ADHD. After a while, I've come to realize that yes, I do have it. I look at my life before my diagnosis and medication and I wonder just how in the hell I managed to get this far? I also wonder if I would have gone further and encountered less obstacles had I been diagnosed when I was younger.

The cheaters aren't those with ADHD who take medications. They are the people who don't have ADHD who take these medications to get further ahead. That, right there, is what really peeves off a lot of us here.

Fuzzy12
02-03-12, 10:05 PM
i Am not on any medication so i can't judge the effec t from personal experience. I suspect though that the point of meds is not to give us an unfair advantage but rather to give us a chance.

dream.come.true
02-03-12, 11:59 PM
I am the same age/ had the exact same feeling.

my psychotherapist put it perfectly. he said think of it like a person who needs glasses to read. If they didn't have those eye glasses they wouldn't be able to read. reading is a pretty KEY TASK IN LIFE... that thought blew my mind! all of my initial reservations and internal moralities went out the window at that point. metaphorically, the adderall is my pair of eyeglasses.

Darken
02-04-12, 01:39 PM
You know I'm not sure there is a good answer or comment to your post. What you said is absolutely true...anyone who get's put on these stimulants is going to have an increase in productivity...etc. I think that's what impressed me about my GP when we were talking to him about the possibility of meds for my daughter. He said the exact same thing...anyone is going to improve on them...and let's face it diagnosing in children is very subjective.

Then there is the other point of view that some of us need these meds like a diabetic needs insulin...etc...etc. I call that rationalizing...it almost sounds like a defense mechanism your doctor gives you to help you deal with the stigma of taking meds....but in the end you don't need to justify it to anyone...heck maybe not even yourself. In the end its all about how you feel about it....you have to be comfortable with it.

You aren't cheating...it isn't unfair...it's what you make of it. You can either appreciate the effectiveness of the meds and enjoy the boost that it gives you, or decide that you can't deal with taking a med everyday to do something you should be able to do on your own...and manage life without them as you always have. There are also other options then meds for treatment too.

daveddd
02-04-12, 01:46 PM
What these medications do for people with ADHD is provide their brains the stimulation that they normally don't have. They increase motivation, pleasure and attention. Things that people with untreated or undiagnosed ADHD are constantly seeking. We constantly seek stimulation. Untreated, we find ways to provide our brains with what we aren't getting naturally. We shop excessively, gamble, abuse drugs, sex, the list goes on.

For people without ADHD, it enhances what they already have . For people with ADHD, it brings us to a level of normalcy in our everyday lives. For people with ADHD, they aren't performance-enhancing drugs in the sense that it give us an advantage over the competition. Like steroids. They don't do that at all. It brings us to the level we need to be to function normally. It doesn't enhance what we already have (thank heavens--I don't want to enhance my impulsiveness). We simply don't have it to begin with.

As far as people taking their first pill and cleaning their entire apartment, the first day on a pill for some is like breaking through a fog. It's as if they finally see what needs to be done and they can do it without getting distracted. Something they could never do before. It's also not indicative of how the medication will work for them each day. There is an adjustment period. Some people report a bit of euphoria their first few days, too. They feel great and happy. They want to get those projects done that they could never manage to finish before. Sometimes a persons dose is too high and that causes euphoria. It's not an exact science, ADHD medication. There are medication trials and titration periods to go through before many of us find the right med at the right dose.

As far as it happening to EVERYONE. It didn't happen to me. Of course, I wasn't on the right medication for me either. When I started Adderall, I didn't do that, either and it was the right med. I have, over the course of several months, cleaned and organized like there's no tomorrow. Part of it is because I NEED that organization. I need my space to be clean and neat. I can actually see how it helps me stay organized. Keeps me from being overwhelmed. Helps me keep track of things. Simplifies things for me, which is important.

Doubting your diagnosis isn't uncommon. I did it. Didn't want to believe I had ADHD. After a while, I've come to realize that yes, I do have it. I look at my life before my diagnosis and medication and I wonder just how in the hell I managed to get this far? I also wonder if I would have gone further and encountered less obstacles had I been diagnosed when I was younger.

The cheaters aren't those with ADHD who take medications. They are the people who don't have ADHD who take these medications to get further ahead. That, right there, is what really peeves off a lot of us here.

yes

taking medications doesnt push me through mundane tasks or things like that

it eradicates the feeling of discontent that prevents me from doing those things, the same feeling (only way i can describe it) that keeps me in the hunt for gratification