I often find myself offending people without knowing it until it's too late or not at all. Like many ADDers, I sometimes say things I don't mean, or people take what I say the wrong way.

Oh Yea

Quite often people would rather have you lie than tell the truth as they cant handle the truth

Ive allways been of the opinion

If you have something to say say it straight out


A good example for me is:

" If you dont like me for some reason " "tell me "

"But be prepared to tell me why you dont like me so I Have the option of correcting it"

If I dont know something is wrong I cant fix it

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

But Im afarid there are more people than not who want you to dance around the political mumbo jumbo tree so when "what you are trying to be say----- finally get said it is so sugar coated that it quite often doesnt get the point across.

They have a work for it and they call it TACT

I have been told many times that I dont Have ANY


I find it really funny that everybody else has the right to tell you that "You Dont Have Any TACT"

But I never get the right to State That I have Lots of TACT but that I dont care to exercise it in most situations.

Say what you have to say and then lets move on

But guess what

If your anything Like me

" your mouth will get you into a lot of trouble someday"

I remeber my friend telling me that when I was 6 or 7 years old

He was correct

Grin

So now that its all been said

Lets move on eh

Grin:D

There is a difference between tact and honesty...telling epople what you think of their personality to their face is not an issue of having or not having tact...saying something about something they acant do anything about is...(like their appearance...although I think a lot of people could do something about that too)...anyway, in terms of the idea of offending people I agree with you more....people will stop talking to me seemingly for no reason and then months later Iw ill find out was because something I did or said and they will have not told me because they thought I would be too sensitive about it and react the wrong way. its about time people realized we're human and start treating us that way. The worst part, people dont want to feel any guilt about anything...thats why, in my opinion, we have useless politically correct language around, so those people who are in a position of power can say whatever the hell they want and not have have to feel any shame or guilt....because they were being "Politically correct" If someone wants to call me a retard, go ahead, I would rather them call me that than have them use some demeaning crap like "exceptional" as though I was too stupid to realize they mean "retard". Its not the language that is politically incorrect, its the intentions behind the words...anyway, I dont use any derogatory remarks for the most part as I have come to realize throughout my life that there are jackasses in every race, ethnic background, social group and we cant generalize about a whole group of people....maybe thats it, just weed out the evil jackasses...of course, then being a jackass will be diagnosed in the DSM and will be considered a disability and then people will get jobs just because they are jackasses and you wont be able to fire them for being a complete jackass, and then someone brilliant will invent a pill to control being a jackass although the side effects will cause other problems and holy crap I tthink Im starting to see a pattern here. Anyway, I am guessing some people are probably a bit ticked off by now, and therefore, yeah, I often do make people angry.

MC...thanks for letting me rant here...its been wonderful...

Id give a good comment to your post but I cant stop laghing about the Jackass

They allready have them there called managers and dispatchers

hey there, I a glad at least someone found it funny. anyway, I was just feeling a bit down and needing a pick me up rant. it felt good to get the crazies out, usually I just drink and get depressed....but tonight I decided ti just brew apot of coffee, listen to soem tunes and chill out. I find the descendents usually are a good pick me up or weezer or someother moderately happy rock...anyway, glad you liked the post

MC

You come and Rant and Rave when ever you want.

Send me an email if you wish to make sure I go and read it

Thats what it like to have a family that listens to you and thats why I come home here to ADDforums as everybody seems like family

Welcome Home

I'm new here, but in browsing your threads, I came across this one and it is something I am learning about myself. I am not, however, saying that this is what everyone else seems to be talking about, which is tact, or lack thereof.

I have found out I have Asperger's Syndrome, a mild form, which can accompany ADHD. I often make people angry with things I do or say. I also am clueless, and I take people literally. Gets me into trouble. Is anyone else here an Aspie?

I have ADHD, OCD and non dominant hemisphere dysfunction (which means I have some aspie problems but I'm not an aspie).

Don't worry too much about offending others: remember - others choose to be offended.

True Tudorose: Others do choose to be offended AND if they make this choice, they also can choose to let it get to them for hours and days and weeks and months and years....OR they can ask themselves "how important is this", realize it's not important at all, and then LET IT GO......If they do this, that's one sign of mental health in my opinion:)

Frog and Tudorose: Welcome to Forums. You will get a lot of support here. What I have seen so far regarding Asperger's Syndrome here on Forums -- are a few people talking about their children having it -- but I haven't seen too many adults talking about themselves having it. I have, however, seen a fair amount of information discussed about it on Bigsplace.com
I also believe in tact, however. I can listen to myself and the way I say things, the way I might come across to people, the way I affect people, the tone in my voice when I say things,etc. There are after all, sensitive people in this world. And we have to get along with each other out there.

Welcome to the forrums girls

Joan always says what I try to say so nicely that i will end it at that

Welcome

Aw Garry: You say the nicest things sometimes, thanks:)

I have read a lot about aspergers and we think there is a lot in my family. Yet I have only a few traits that I am aware of. I am litteral and, tend to think in pictures a bit.
I am often misunderstood because of my flighty ADD nature.
I hate when people think I have an agenda. I am straight forward.
Being misunderstood really is a pain. Mostly it happens with insecure linear males who want me to need them more than I care to.

janine: alot of men are insecure.linear and add.their wanting you to need them is a reflection of their insecurity, among other things.but please do not ever stop being straight forward and saying things as they are. that is not being flighty nor does it describe someone who has an agenda. people who have agendas are the ones who are flighty. you are fine.the problems are with THEM:)

Yes, I do that far too often. I try not to, but I still miss many of the social cues that help me understand the context of the situation. I am also impulsive so I tend to just blurt out whatever I'm thinking with no consideration of the effects. I also tend to skip around a lot in conversation and that makes me say things that are inappropriate and off-topic in conversation.

The thing that helps me the most is to remember to take the time to *SLOW DOWN* and THINK about where you are, what you are doing, and what you are about to say.

My friends know I'm ADD and they work with me. They are pretty cool people. It helps if you have friends who understand you, and what ADD is, and what it does. You might have to educate them a bit, but it pays off.

Glen


I often find myself offending people without knowing it until it's too late or not at all. Like many ADDers, I sometimes say things I don't mean, or people take what I say the wrong way.

ditto

I can remember my parents saying to me often "Think! Think before you speak."

My thoughts were faster than my mouth and my mouth mixed things all up. I would get uncomfortable or uncertain in social situations, and try too hard to be witty or funny. {groan} I should never try to be witty. If it doesn't happen naturally it comes out awful. And all the people pleasing I just tried to do fell flat on her face.

p.s. thanks Speedo for reopening these great old threads.

Eyeforgot;
I'm glad to reopen them. I think these topics are the biggies for all of us.

For me, the issues I am presently comcerned with are:
social interraction
love and intamate relaitonsips
relationships with friends
coping with sensory issues

and how to be healthy when I have this "different" way of viewing the world that makes barriers between myself and everybody else. It is pretty tough after a while. Sometimes I get so tired of working around it and still ending up with communications problems.

I'm having a bad day right now because I am having sensory overload problems, so I'm not very positive. Please forgive my transient negativity

The only way I know how to make inprovements on these things is to talk about it with people so I can understand ADD and how it affects me. This is really the best place I have found for discussion.

Glen


ditto

I can remember my parents saying to me often "Think! Think before you speak."

My thoughts were faster than my mouth and my mouth mixed things all up. I would get uncomfortable or uncertain in social situations, and try too hard to be witty or funny. {groan} I should never try to be witty. If it doesn't happen naturally it comes out awful. And all the people pleasing I just tried to do fell flat on her face.

p.s. thanks Speedo for reopening these great old threads.

I'm pretty juvenile. So I still fart for attention.

I guess that's offensive. :)

LOL

I can make myself burp. Very entertaining with the kids. So glad none of us can pull your finger.

LOL

I can make myself burp. Very entertaining with the kids. So glad none of us can pull your finger.


LOL! Sometimes for a little change I tell people to pull my tie and then I bark.
That has made more than a few executives spit coffee.

My parents did tell me that very often 2 :) .
In the car on the way to families, my parents gave me the what not and what to say. Dont talk about that LIse, dont you dare talk about this lise ect ect ect. :rolleyes: :p :) LIke i would say anything wrong heheheehe....

Me and the kids have fart and burping contest lol...so what..jeez :p .
Right now my daughter is the winner, she makes her mama proud LOL :soapbox:





ditto

I can remember my parents saying to me often "Think! Think before you speak."

My thoughts were faster than my mouth and my mouth mixed things all up. I would get uncomfortable or uncertain in social situations, and try too hard to be witty or funny. {groan} I should never try to be witty. If it doesn't happen naturally it comes out awful. And all the people pleasing I just tried to do fell flat on her face.

p.s. thanks Speedo for reopening these great old threads.

I'll have to take up farting. It will make me popular at the office.....

True story:

4 non add guys (wait it gets better) go to their fave golf course for the afternoon. The weather is beautiful, sun shining, they are practically the only ones there.

They pause at a particularly scenic green to admire the surrounding trees, the vista, the silence.

They are quiet in the awe of the natural beauty....until one guy rips a giant fart.

They burst out laughing and were literally rolling on the ground.

One of them was a friend who told me his story.:p :p :p

I bet the split second after the earth shattering kaboom even the birds stopped chirping. I would have busted up too.

Motorbrain, it is called passing gas. That is the way you say it if you don't want to offend me often..............

My brother does that for emphasis or punctuation on statements he makes....he is a major in the army.
But he is not ADD...just had to comment on your poor choice of words. Passing gas..it is passing gas....it is passing gas.

And Dgitl :) you know girls don't pass gas!!! It is just not done...spitting, burping, passing gas and barking .........take it down the hall y'all! :) for goodness sakes!

~guormet~

I have my on agenda for offense, but it's down at the end of the hall. ;)

I bet the split second after the earth shattering kaboom even the birds stopped chirping. I would have busted up too.
"Where's the kaboom? [pant, pant] There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom." - Marvin the Martian



you know girls don't pass gas!!! It is just not done...spitting, burping, passing gas and barking .........take it down the hall y'all! :) for goodness sakes!


Thank goodness for women's lib. Better to let it loose and bear the shame than hold it in and bear the pain. Our gas came out when we loosened the girdles! All hail our suffragette mothers!!!

This would so offend some of my more ladylike aquaintances.

Is farting now essential to the emancipation of females ?

But wait!!! Farting , belching, scratching and being unshaven on a Saturday morning while roaming the house in his underware is a typical male stereotype, is it not ?

I guess the ladies can do it to, thus are emancipated and made equal by farting , belching , scratching.... etc...


Me

I prefer to call it "tooting" or "passing wind".....

unless of course I am eatting broccoli, then I am "farting".

I prefer to say: "I'm fluent in Beanglish".

Or by way of apology: "Pardon my oxygen displacement test, I will now retire to the whizalareum to continue my experiments."

When my wife lets go I always say "I didn't know you were in that band... Kablamarama!"

She hates me.
I wuv her.

So she hates me even more.

Ah, bliss.

Sho 'nuf...

Me


There is a difference between tact and honesty...telling epople what you think of their personality to their face is not an issue of having or not having tact...saying something about something they acant do anything about is...(like their appearance...although I think a lot of people could do something about that too)...anyway, in terms of the idea of offending people I agree with you more....people will stop talking to me seemingly for no reason and then months later Iw ill find out was because something I did or said and they will have not told me because they thought I would be too sensitive about it and react the wrong way. its about time people realized we're human and start treating us that way. The worst part, people dont want to feel any guilt about anything...thats why, in my opinion, we have useless politically correct language around, so those people who are in a position of power can say whatever the hell they want and not have have to feel any shame or guilt....because they were being "Politically correct" If someone wants to call me a retard, go ahead, I would rather them call me that than have them use some demeaning crap like "exceptional" as though I was too stupid to realize they mean "retard". Its not the language that is politically incorrect, its the intentions behind the words...anyway, I dont use any derogatory remarks for the most part as I have come to realize throughout my life that there are jackasses in every race, ethnic background, social group and we cant generalize about a whole group of people....maybe thats it, just weed out the evil jackasses...of course, then being a jackass will be diagnosed in the DSM and will be considered a disability and then people will get jobs just because they are jackasses and you wont be able to fire them for being a complete jackass, and then someone brilliant will invent a pill to control being a jackass although the side effects will cause other problems and holy crap I tthink Im starting to see a pattern here. Anyway, I am guessing some people are probably a bit ticked off by now, and therefore, yeah, I often do make people angry.

MC...thanks for letting me rant here...its been wonderful...