Good morning, all...
As evident from the activity on this board, being a non-ADD friend/partner/spouse brings a lot of unique challenges. Sometimes it takes extra effort and compassion to maintain a relationship with an ADDer (and sometimes it's even worth it;))
While I'm putting a lot of effort into learning about ADD and understanding the best ways to communicate with my friend, other friends of mine just see him as difficult, self-centered, and moody. They have also witnessed him being verbally abusive to me. While he and I are dealing with the abusive communication, my friends can not stand the guy. And, honestly, I understand their reasons.
I find myself in the uncomfortable position of having to choose to be with him OR my friends, rather than him AND my friends. I've tried integrating the two, but I'm never sure if my ADDer will arrive as Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. It's stressful for me to try to be the liason between him and the rest of society.
Can't we all just get along???
Have others of you dealt with this issue? How?

I have been in similar situations. I found myself running around behind him and doing all the explaining. Trouble is no one really wants to hear about the excuses. People don't tell adults that they are misbehaving- they just don't want anything to do with them.
My partner called me from work today. He is a dance teacher and had a run-in with another teacher a while back. The other teacher has been away for a while and just got back. the other teacher was with some students that my partner knows personally. He said Hello to my partner and all hell broke lose. My partner told him he thought he was a f...........g idiot and that he wanted nothing to do with him. This was in front of the other students.
The other guy called my partner a loser and from what I understand the situation got quite heated. On another day, my partner might just have said hi. The students left - they did not finish their lesson. Talk about moodiness, difficult, self-centered - I have seen it all. Don't know how to deal with it except to get out.
Good morning, all...
As evident from the activity on this board, being a non-ADD friend/partner/spouse brings a lot of unique challenges. Sometimes it takes extra effort and compassion to maintain a relationship with an ADDer (and sometimes it's even worth it;))
While I'm putting a lot of effort into learning about ADD and understanding the best ways to communicate with my friend, other friends of mine just see him as difficult, self-centered, and moody. They have also witnessed him being verbally abusive to me. While he and I are dealing with the abusive communication, my friends can not stand the guy. And, honestly, I understand their reasons.
I find myself in the uncomfortable position of having to choose to be with him OR my friends, rather than him AND my friends. I've tried integrating the two, but I'm never sure if my ADDer will arrive as Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. It's stressful for me to try to be the liason between him and the rest of society.
Can't we all just get along???
Have others of you dealt with this issue? How?

Are your partners medicated? If you find this happening very often, chances are this behavior will not stop. It is very possible if they are not medicated that it will stop, but chances are not. If you are not married to these partners, keep that in mind. Are you will to put up with this bs for long term? Do you really want to have your partner and your friendships separate in your life? Shouldn't it be a coming together of the two? Will you be isolated from all if this does not change?

And, for the outburst. does he have any remorse for it? Does he have any idea why this happened. I mean a simple hello make his blow up? What's up with that?

Often times, what you see is what you get. More often, what you see if the best it will be if this is the beginning of a relationship. The hyperfocus stage goes away and things get worse.

This is of course, unmedicated/undiagnosed. It is possible to improve if these two things happen.

I find myself doing this with my son. Having to explaqin all of the time.

Hi Live Talk:
Yes a simple Hello can bring on a rage attack. He does not like this guy and the guy dared to say hello. He is not medicated - I wish I was. You sound like you have some experience here - is it with a medicated person.You sound as discouraged as I am.

My Dh is medicated. I am not really discouraged right now, but I find my life with this pwADD can at tmes wax and wane. I have accepted a lot over the years, he has made postitive changes over the years, and the times of aggravation and frustration usually occur if there is a lot of stress, not feeling well, or just plain tired of living this life. Even though I am married 25 years, there are still some issues I would love to resolve and there are just some things I wish would be different.