View Full Version : Contribute your True, Funny ADD story.....

03-17-12, 05:42 PM
This Thread is intended to be a collection of true ‘Funny’ ADD/HD experiences shared on an ongoing basis.
Let me explain: As long as I can remember I have had a knack for having really strange things seemingly spontaneously happen to, around or because of me.
It’s as if I have this ‘magnet’ that attracts all things 'weird'.
I always had a sense that most of this stemmed from impulsive choices and my tendency to ‘not look while leaping’ which I now identify with ADD.
If this is true, I can't help but think others do too. If this sounds familiar and you too have stories, please share them, so we can all laugh together.
The only rule: It has to be a story based on your true experience.

The Burning of my V-DUB:

Several days before, I had been hit by a truck, injuring my left knee, (How that happened is another story). Needless to say, it significantly limited my mobility. However, I was not going to let that deter me from going out on a Saturday night and with the help of friends, went dancing despite my crutch dependency. What happened that night is not as important as how it set up my story of the next day.

Sunday morning, at home alone, I realized that I had left my glasses (which legally I needed to drive) at the restaurant where we often went after the bars closed. My dilemma: how to get my glasses from the restaurant when I couldn’t walk or drive my car, since it was a manual transmission and I could not bend my knee to push the clutch.

Now, if I had thought about it, there may have been a number of better options in retrieving my glasses, than the one I actually chose. But, being impatient and not fond of delayed gratification, I came up with what I thought was the perfect solution to my immediate need: ‘use my crutch to shift!’ After all, it was only a few miles away. I knew all the short cuts with the fewest stop signs and traffic lights. It shouldn’t take long to get to the restaurant and back home.

It was a hot, sunny and clear sunny day. My crutch and clutch technique seemed to be going well, that is until I was less than a mile away from my destination, when I heard a siren behind me. ‘Oh sh###t!’ …. ‘How do I explain this one?’ Much to my relief, I saw a fire truck in the review mirror instead of the police car I had expected. I gladly pulled over to let it pass but as soon as I stopped the back window of my car turned black with smoke. ‘Oh sh###t!’ …. ‘My car is on fire.’ I jumped out of my car, crutches in hand, thinking this had to be the reason for the sirens, only to watch the fire truck speed past, on its way to someone else’s emergency. Wondering if they had even noticed, I hopped back to the source of the smoke at the back of my car and lifted the hood to see the carburetor in flames.

This was just too much! It had been a lousy week, and I was not going to stand by and watch my car burn too! To that end, I looked around and quickly grabbed the only thing I saw that might be useful for fighting fires; a small, white hand towel. With towel in hand, I hobbled back to the engine and began furiously beating at the flames, intent that I was going to win this battle and not suffer another yet another loss this week.

It had to be a sight to see. There I was, at the side of the road; standing on my good right leg, leaning on a single crutch, while slapping away at the flames with a tiny piece of terrycloth. Ignoring the obvious danger of my situation, I continued my feeble efforts until I heard a voice behind me. “Get out of the way.” Two young boys, one with a large water fire extinguisher, had come to my rescue and quickly doused the flames.

Although total disaster had been averted, my car was now more disabled than I. The wires were scorched and bare, the engine soaked with water, any hope of it starting was fruitless and I still did not have my glasses! My dilemma: how to get my glasses from the restaurant when I couldn’t walk or drive my car. (Heard this before?) Solution: The two young boys would give me a ride to the restaurant, where I could get my glasses, and call a friend. Then they would take me back to my car.

Now, if I had thought about it, there may have been a number of better options for retrieving my glasses, than the one I actually chose. (Sound familiar?) But being so ‘focused’ on achieving my original goal, my crutches and I piled into the backseat of their car, (also a VDUB a few years older than mine and a little worse for wear). I gave no thought to who these two young boys were, where they came from or what they were doing driving around in an old, beat up Volkswagen Bug on a hot day with a huge water fire extinguisher in the front seat? Wouldn’t they have been better off sitting in a park or by the river on such a nice, but very hot day?

It wasn’t until we were on our way back to my car that I actually began to wonder and ask myself some of these belated, yet very important questions. Who were these boys? Where did they come from? Certainly not the corner gas station I had originally assumed. And, more importantly, what were they doing driving around on a hot day with a huge water fire extinguisher in their …..? Before I could finish my thought, I had my answer.

While sitting at a red light, the boy riding shotgun, with the fire extinguisher sitting on the floor between his legs, elbowed the driver and nodded to his right. As the car next to us started to pull away, he suddenly raised the nozzle and soaked the driver and passengers through the open windows. I came to attention, pushing myself upright as best I could with my crutches wedged from window to window across the width of the back seat. I stared at the tail lights of the ‘victim’ car where it had screeched to a stop, sitting and idling, while plotting its revenge; the moment frozen in time. The pause was broken when the other car suddenly lurched forward, back tires spinning and black smoke pouring into the air. The back of the car, swung around the front as it pulled a U turn, racing back to confront their attackers, us. ‘Oh sh###t!’ From a dead stop, the boy driving the V-DUB, jumped forward into an illegal left turn, through a red light and in front of oncoming traffic. The victim car had completed its U turn and was cutting back through traffic and a corner parking lot to catch us. ‘Oh sh###t!’

I couldn’t say exactly what happened after that or how the boys actually lost the other car. I was too distracted by my crutches bouncing up and down as I was flung from side to side in the back seat of their V Dub. With growing visions of cell bars in my immediate future, I grasp at anything that wasn’t also flying freely around the car. I remember a parking lot or maybe two, numerous speed bumps, someone’s driveway, flower beds, a sidewalk and then a sudden screech and thump. By this time I was l on my back, my good leg braced against the roof liner and the other sticking through the open window; the knee brace now down around my ankle. I pulled myself upright to see that we were sitting snug against the curb behind my car. The boys only stayed long enough for me to toss my crutches through the open door and crawl out behind them, now needing more than just crutches to steady myself. As I leaned back against the side of my car, I watched them drive away, wondering, who were those boys, where were they going now and more importantly, what the ‘H##L’ was I thinking? But, … I did have my glasses.

This is a true event. One that I thankfully survived.

03-17-12, 07:13 PM
Wow Sammy what a story ,will ther be a sequel lol

03-18-12, 07:25 PM
Wow Sammy what a story ,will ther be a sequel lol

More than likely. I have a lot of 'experiences' that I can now see the humor.
How about your story?