Help! I don't know if I am ADD or not but both of my sons are - one is ADHD and one is ADD.

My biggest concerns at this point are this: I lose my keys constantly..like 2-4 times a day, amongst other things that I lose daily:( It's nothing for me to lock myself out of the house and lck myself out of my car. I have done this twice in the past 3 months..both car and house at same time!

I have been married and divorced 3 times; and am in a new relationship and was ataken back when the comments came from his mouth" You are so rude, you intterupt all the time." I have heard this several times in 6 months of seeing this guy and I am now questioning myself after all..Hey could you be ADD? I have had many issues over the years of growing up..I hated school..caused me much pain , shy and backwards I always thought, I was always "accused" of day dreaming and not trying hard enough --needless to say I studied morning, noon , and night trying to pull a "C". Never could manage a "B" or and "A". I can vividly remember "throwing a tantrum" when the first grade teacher mentioned holding me back a grade. I got a wonderful 2nd grade teacher and she got me "caught up' but I struggled immensely all through school.

I also have had much trouble with my job, I work in a school kitchen and i only have 2 co workers and they complain constantly that I do not listen when they speak to me, like I look straight through them and still do not hear them. I finally questioned myself being ADD when I recently got a written reprimand for work. These 2 coworkers drive me to the point of no return with distractions, and over whelming demands I percieve. The more they pressure me the more I get upset and overwhelmed:( I hate to go to this job because these 2 coworkers drive me "crazy". Is it me?

I believe I need to get help but with whom? i have been in therapy for years and all they can say is dsythmia( chronic on again, off agin mild depression) my current psychologist thinks I am doing well..antidepressants have never helped..I am exhausted all the time, mentally and physically. I feel like I live in bed when I am not at work. I am bored all the time.
Anyone got any advice for me? Am I crazy????

Teddy

Help! I don't know if I am ADD or not but both of my sons are - one is ADHD and one is ADD.



I must admit what you have written in your post sounds like the possibilites are very high that you are ADD.



I believe I need to get help but with whom? i have been in therapy for years and all they can say is dsythmia( chronic on again, off agin mild depression) my current psychologist thinks I am doing well..antidepressants have never helped..I am exhausted all the time, mentally and physically. I feel like I live in bed when I am not at work. I am bored all the time.



Have you approached the subject of ADD with your therapist? How is therapy working for you? I think the best thing to do for yourself right now is lots of reasearch. Go to the Dr. Damiel Amen website. He will have a test there that you can take to see if you are AD/HD or not. It may be helpful too, if your boyfriend would take this test as if he were you. Sometimes pwADD are not able to see some traits in themselves as good as a trusted family member, spouse, or good friend. It would be good if you two could talk about it. If your test comes out positive, please print it out and take it to your pshychologist and ask him where to go from here. If you are not afraid of taking medication, I am sure he will recommend a psychiatrist to start you on meds.



Do you know that very often AD/HD is accompanied by comorbid conditions? One of the most diagnosed, I believe, is depression. Many times the best "cocktail" of meds will be to have an antidepressant along with an ADD med.

Anyone got any advice for me? Am I crazy????

You are definitely NOT crazy. There is a book out for pwADD called "You mean I am not Stupid, Lazy, or Crazy." Just the title hits home with so many. I applaud you for trying to figure out what is what. If your therapist is not of any help go somewhere else. Your life seems to have been out of control for a long time now. You are trying to raise two children with AD/HD and that is not easy. I imagine you do that alone much of the time if you are divorced.

How good will it feel to be in control? Because of your children, have you already read books on this subject? If not I would recommend reading Driven to Distraction and/or Questions to Distraction. Is it hard for you to concentrate on reading? My ADD husband would not be able to concentrate long enough on a self-help book. He is more into reading short blurps from newspapers or magazines or cereal boxes. :)

I think we can agree that your life is out of control. If it is not ADHD, there is something definietly going on that you can get help for. Take it a step at a time. You are on your way to a better, more productive life I believe and I hope!

Mart

I agree with liketalk, some of the symptoms you describe sound dead on. Talk to your therapist about it- he or she should be able to go through the criteria in the DSM to see if you meet the diagnostic criteria. I have a question, you say that antidepressants don't help, did you simply not feel an effect, or did they make you worse?

Answer-- I have seen no change for the better taking anti depressants and I have been in therapy since 1995 with a psychiatrist and then 2 other therapists and now recently a psychologist, for one reason or another I have been bumped to a different therapist with no reason of my own accord except these people have had job changes. I feel worse than ever and i want the mess to at least slow down, now with a job reprimand and soul searching and researching ADD in adults, and the Book "You mean I'm Not stupid, lazy, or crazy?"..it all just seems to fit. It's overwhelming to me, and the frustration level is getting to me, I have had trouble with my job for over a year and thought it was just a hostile, and stressful work place; and that much is true, but it's also me I believe at this point. And I am not handling the stress and frustration at all. I am either angry, tired, or feeling like a loser 24-7. Hope I can get some insight on this soon from a professional..Tuesday hurry up.

I don't see anything getting better in any aspect of my life..just more frustration and overwhelming thoughts of "What is wrong with me?"

Okay, slow down. You have alot of your plate being a single mother of two. Do you ever get to take a break and do something for yourself?

Caj~

Yes I do get out and try to relax..dating someone new for about 6 months now and has mentioned that I intterupt alot, and i am inattentive during intimacy, and why can't I just remember where things are. I am always looking for something. LOL

Well, maybe getting confirmation of a diagnosis will help ease your mind a bit, kinda like, okay, there's a reason why I'm like this, it's not my fault and there's no one to blame. That's kinda how I felt when I figured it out. And you will get alot of support here, these folks are knowledgeable and truly kind. Glad to hear that you get some time to yourself, it's so important for moms...

Teddy
Hang in there - you're not alone! There are lots of people who feel similar.

The fact that you've experienced symptoms since childhood & that you continue to experience them now is something you need to discuss with your therapist ASAP. Given the fact that you have children diagnosed it is possible you have it too.

As to the keys - in my 7 person ADHD household there is only one solution. The keys are immediately placed into the inside zippered part of my handbag as soon as I walk the door. I will not even talk to anyone or do anything else until they've been safely put away. Then I just need to remember the handbag when I go out (this is sooo much cheaper than the locksmith I used to get regularly to let me in).

Ciao
Pru

my keys are on a large clip that i clip to my purse as i walk in....and the purse gets hung on the same doorknob (kitchen closet) every time i put it down.

One way to a diagnosis is to have your general practitioner refer you to a shrink or therapist who specializes in adult add. that's how i found the (wonderful) shrink who diagnosed me. I too, was told all my elementary years that i was lazy, dreamy, etc.....

Good luck to you. and chances are, if both your kids have it, you might.

Here's my explation of ADD

The thing with ADD is that the symptoms have to occur over all environments. Maybe you just lose your keys at home because at home you feel overwhelmed or stressed out when your running around the house getting the kids ready, etc. It sounds like you have a very busy life style and that can definitley cause ADD like symptoms. Although as a child you had a problem with attention span this could be for many reasons. Sometimes children's friends demand their attention during class. I think the big give away is frustration. I would say ADD is a genetic trait. My brother and I both had so much frustration when it came to learning. My parents actually thought my brother needed glasses because he would mix stuff up or lose his train of thought when he read.


This is my theory of why there is so much diagnosis of ADD today. I think we live too hectic of life styles and we all need to slow down and realize that WERE GONNA BE OKAY! There's no need to rush through life. All this technology is means for people to demand our attention. Think about it. You've got email messages, telephone messages, the TV is a big one. Especially commercials they're made to demand your attention. And when you have kids they demand your attention and it seems like technology is competing with the things that are REAL or most important. Also put yourself in a childs shoes. There are so many things that demand a childs attention.

I am not denying that there is ADD. I know I have ADD. I have recently learned of a theory that has to do with a persons recticular formation an area of the brain located near the brain stem. This controls the amount of stimulus allowed into the brain at one time. For instance; You are trying to study, your roommates got the tv on loud, and she's talking on the phone, and the dogs barking across the street. Some of us are able to tune these out because we have become accustomed to it but some of us are unable to even if we should be accustomed to it.

For a person with ADD even when there are seemingly no distractions there will still be a struggle to comprehend and learn. This is why it was originally a childhood disorder.

The thing that makes me sure I have ADD is my ability to read and comprehend and listen and comprehend.

When I wasn't on medication and in highschool life was miserable. I could never give 100% of my attention to anything. This was most shown in reading. When I would read instructions or test questions it was like they were in a foriegn language. This would happen when the teacher would talk also. It's not that I wasn't trying to focus or that there was any obvious distraction. This is the reason I believe in the theory about the function of the recticular formation.

It was so frustrating when I was trying to understand math and my brain didn't want to. It was like a constant battle. This is hard to explain because theres nothing really specific that I can put my finger on. I guess the biggest thing was that I couldn't comprehend something I had just read or heard.

It's like although you are not consciously thinking about something else your body and your senses respond to stimulus that competes for the functioning of your neurons in your head I guess. Or "competes for your attention." The easiest way to put it is that I am over sensitive to stimulus especially visual stimulus. I remember when I was being diagnosed. I couldn't look at the doctor because my eyes were constantly being drawn to the light coming in from the window. I'd try to look away but it was like a reflex. This is obviously frustrating.

To me ADD is not about losing my keys or being unorganized or not being a good listener. Of course that does describe me to a "T". To me ADD is something that stands in the way of my ability to learn and process new information even in a setting with minimal or no distractions.

:) I am new here so thanks for reading this if you do receive it. I am not sure if any of my e-mails are getting to a soul,as I have not received a thing in my e-mail, feel free to contact me if you wish.

I am ADD,and very creative, talented, yet to this day, have not been able to find an avenue to use it. Sound strange, no its part of what you stated in your posting, distracted by all thats around me. Live in a box, and mail out creativeness, laughing...send me a check..lol.

I am 53 and alone, I know your young, and I relate to the struggles, and the challanges you face. Been this way all my life. Found out only 3 years ago what his mess was about. I have a add Coach I talk with by phone weekly, been tested , told I am genious, creative talented, and can't spell worth a dam, or listen well, but show me a picture and have a flash I could build you naything, music comes easy, ect, sO if you can feel what I say,do feel free to write as it be nice to have a friend. At heart.

Thanks
Freddy

Hi Teddy, I agree with the suggestions for testing and the books mentioned above.
For immediate help with the missing stuff, as someone mentioned above, I keep a clip like a carabiner on my bag and backpack. Before I get out of a vehicle I clip my keys to it. Always, no excuses. The bags only go on the hook in my hall closet. No where else, not ever. If anyone needs to use my keys, they bring them back to me so I can hang them where they belong and know they are there.
My glasses and watch only go on my dresser; no where else, not ever. Sounds strict, but it works. It works really well. Those small important things are so easy to lose, and so important to our days running smoothly. And we need them to run smoothly, eh?!:)
Hope this helps.

There's a good book by Sari Solden called Women and Attention Deficit Disorder. ADD doesn't look the same in women and is frequently misdiagnosed by practioneers as simply depression. You've already gotten some pretty good advice here, so I won't repeat it. Seems like further checking would be wise -- you're a likely candidate.

Hey ~ Yes i am very ADHD..got my diagnosis..professionally and I have been taking Adderall XR since November 1st, 2004..I can see such a change in my life..its like night vs. day. Thank You all for your great advice.. I have found many friends here:)

Hey ~ Yes i am very ADHD..got my diagnosis..professionally and I have been taking Adderall XR since November 1st, 2004..I can see such a change in my life..its like night vs. day. Thank You all for your great advice.. I have found many friends here:)

These are the kind of posts we like to see!!!! I am so happy for you. Life will only get better and easier for you.

Mart

Teddy, I am so proud of you for following through and taking control of your life! Good for you! Finding the tools which will work best for you take time. The best thing I ever did was to keep a journal of only positive things. I wrote in it every day, even if it started out in the beginning with "today, I got out of bed." On days when I felt the most overwhelmed, and as if I hadn't accomplished anything, I read that journal. It helped me to readjust my perception to focus on the positives, not the negatives. The more positive I became, the less other things tended to upset me when they would come up. I was even able to "hear" AND "accept" constructive criticism from co-workers after that--which was huge for me. I hope you continue to find life post diagnosis to be happy and fulfilling. :)

Hey Teddy,

Glad the Adderall is helping. Sorry I didn't even check the date of the thread:rolleyes: , this is all ancient history for you now. I just got diagnosed based on my history last week (I was also diagnosed but not treated as a child with hyperactivity). When I asked the doctor at the end of session if he thought I was, he said, "Oh yeah!" I get a TOVA tomorrow morning. I'm hoping that meds might make a difference for me -- I have two kids (one of whom has ADHD and the other is two and the jury is still out but not looking too good), so I can use all the help I can to pull our lives together a bit more (especially since my husband is dyslexic and appears to be ADD too, but won't be checked for it). So when I hear that meds made a big difference for someone, that's encouraging!:)

Scattered

Teddy I feel like you did and I am glad you are doign so much better. I need to be really dx and have things in the works hope thing get better for me like they did for you. Congratualtions hun on working so hard .

auntchris