View Full Version : Therapy & Behavior Modification a bust for ODD/ADD-inattentive daughter.


Nucking_Futs
11-09-04, 12:41 AM
It's been a two months since we found out that Lexi (8) is most definatly ODD. We've known for a few years that she is ADD-inattentive. Has anyone had any success with behavioural modification? My son took to it right away ADHD/Deep depression; but, it's just not working on Lex and I'm slowly losing my patience and hope. I keep thinking maybe it's the wrong therapist or the wrong coach but she interacts with them both so well.

Anyways, enough of my pity party (bad day again lol) I'm just wondering if there is something more I can look into any advice at this point would be helpful.

Thanks in advance
Cherity

charlie
11-09-04, 09:16 AM
Cherity,
I feel for you and since I'm in research mode (sleepless night). Wondering if you've read the following book
The Defiant Child: A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder
by Douglas Riley?

Amazon's reviewers give all 5 star ratings and one reviewer says it has her laughing and hooked in the very first chapter. Laughing about ODD that's something to look forward to in my opinion!

In comparison this book Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior
has mixed reviews, even warnings and only 1 1/2 stars.

You could call 801-755-8802 and see what this school for girls would be like, I think she would be too young still but maybe they could suggest the steps they use?

Running out of time here youngest is up will check back later, gater.
Hang in there we're rooting for ya woman!

Nucking_Futs
11-09-04, 10:17 AM
Well the book sounds like a great place to start. As soon as Doug gets home with my credit card I will definatly be ordering one. Thanks Charlie.

Kathi
11-09-04, 02:50 PM
My daughter is 8 too and we are starting counseling with her again. She was in counseling a few years ago, but I don't think at that time it really helped. I have explained to her that she has adhd and that it's not a bad thing, she takes adderal to help her focus in school and it really helps with her behavior too.

Nucking_Futs
11-10-04, 11:15 AM
We just had another appt. with Lexi's therapist and she really suggest meds before we go any further in therapy. The reasoning is Lexi cannot concentrate on therapy or behavorial modification plans long enough without meds. So, I guess next week when I go in to see my doctor about the possibility of medicating myself I will also be taking my daughter, with my son on meds as well it feels like I'm just drugging my whole family to make my life easier. *deep sigh* NO, I'm not losing hope I'm still working on my dietary research and alternative methods to treatment and am actually looking forward to meeting the daughter hiding inside the little terror who only knows to words NO and ME.

charlie
11-10-04, 11:39 AM
Oh Futs
I really can relate to how difficult a decision this is.
But she's really putting her safety at risk with the behavior you shared recently.

and because it's so difficult for me to express myself I've copied the following from an online parenting site:

In addition, although many parents are uncomfortable with the idea of medicating their children, children who have Oppositional Defiant Disorder seem to benefit from certain types of antidepressants or other pharmaceutical interventions. Some professionals urge parents to allow a testing period to see if they too might not see a difference in their child's behavior as a result of this type of intervention. In this manner, the parents are allowed to make a long-term decision after they have seen what the medication is able to do. No one should feel coerced into participating in the children's best interest, and providing a testing period allows everyone to document possible changes in the children's behaviors.


One 'fanning flame' that adults must be alert for is their attitude toward children who have this disorder. Unfortuntely, rather than these visual or nonverbal cues of disapproval motivating the children, they tend to encourage even greater anger and consequential outburst from them. If necessary, ventilate frustration and disapproval to friends and co-workers. Instead, show the children neutrality when interacting with them. This neutrality is another way of 'extincting' the impact that their behavior has on others.


Most of all, remember that humans use the behaviors that are apart of what they know. It is natural to try the same behavior repeatedly if there is no other that has been learned. Teaching these children how to make "I" statements that express what they see, what they feel, and what they want is one way of adding to the repertoire of behaviors available to them. Teaching them how to accept feedback, especially from peers without interruption or defense is another toll that can be added to communication skills. Encouraging the children to iterate what they think they had heard from others before responding also identifies possible misunderstood communications. Finally, encouraging them to respond with what they think AND what they are willing to do to cooperate or compromise also teaches them to interact in a positive way. These tools for communication will go along way to eliminating tantrums and retaliations.


In conclusion, if the interventions above do not seem to make headway, consider outside help. Look for a state or nationally licensed therapist whose expertise includes working with children who have Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Such a therapist can identify other variables that might be adding to the internal friction within the child. These issues are surmountable but do require much commitment on the part of those who are in the child's world.
************
following from blog where a woman is telling what she has 'heard' I've never heard this before...do you think it is possible if untreated that ODD can lead to CD?
Oppositional Defiant Disorder and lead to Conduct Disorder in children where ADD/ADHD is a possible diagnosis and it is left untreated according to the therapists I know. This does not usually happen until well into Middle School or High School. They tell me that with ODD the child still understands that what they are doing is wrong when they act out. Conduct Disordered children end up unable to know what they did was wrong.

Nucking_Futs
11-10-04, 01:16 PM
I got basically the same lecture from Lexi's therapist and coach that is why we've decided to treat her now rather then visit her in prison or worse due to her bad choices. It is a hard decision but I also know that with time if treatment does work as well as it has with Dakota then I'll breath a lot easier. In everything there is give and take, I have to give a little so my daughter can experiance life without so much pent up anger and opposition.

I'm truly not upset just at the phase were I'm asking a lot of questions...is this going to work? what if it doesn't? I'm hopeful but don't want to be too hopeful.

Nucking_Futs
11-14-04, 12:51 PM
Life with Lexi has been hellish for the last couple of days. She misses her aunt Donna and has a lot of questions that I just don't think she's old enough to understand the answer's so I've given her and Dakota generics...she died of a heart attack, yes being so skinny didn't help, no she didn't suffer, the paper says she died of a long term illness, I didn't know Aunt Donna was sick. The truth is I want to scream at her to just SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!! How do you explain anerexia, belemia, depression, perfectionism, alcoholism and drugs to a child? How do you explain accidental overdosing as a long term illness? I just want them to shut up!!!

charlie
11-14-04, 03:30 PM
Cherity,

oh my I had no idea that gut wrenching poem you wrote was TRUE.

You know of course Lexi's probably picking up on the undercurrents of stress.

The only thing I can suggest is that you explain to Lexi you are so sad you need her help to not think about Donna for awhile.

Nucking_Futs
11-14-04, 10:44 PM
For some stupid reason all of my poems are tied into my life. The only time I write is when I can't get out what I need to. Lately, I've been reading post's were people are dieting themselves sick, medicating themselves, OD'ing and I have so much to say and am too much of a coward to say it. I failed Donna so why would they listen to me? There is not expert advice in the story just the sad truth of what happened.

My advice to everyone right now is "be gentle even when you don't feel it"...It takes years but you can commit murder with words.

charlie
11-14-04, 11:30 PM
[Nucking_Futs]
My advice to everyone right now is "be gentle even when you don't feel it"...It takes years but you can commit murder with words .[/QUOTE]

Great words I'm saving them in my wallet as a constant reminder
Thanks Cherity

Nucking_Futs
11-15-04, 03:06 PM
If your anything like me...carrying them in your wallet will serve you no good, they become dusty and forgotten until you buy another. Carry them in your heart and attack everyday as if it's your last because the sad truth is there are no tommorrow's.