View Full Version : What happened to Avoidant Personality Disorder ?


Gilthranon
05-03-12, 02:37 PM
I feel the combination of both is so rare and I'm looking for people to relate especially on this section. But is has gone...

Too few energy to elaborate.

Need, really need people to relate. Send a PM or mail or anything. Where is the section ?

daveddd
05-03-12, 10:33 PM
i dont know

but my "neurological symptom cluster" meets the criteria for avpd

Fortune
05-03-12, 11:27 PM
I do not understand what specifically you are asking, Ocyan. However, all personality disorders are covered by this particular subforum.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask any of the moderators for the relevant forum (I co-moderate this particular subforum with EYEFORGOT and Bluerose).

artist79
05-03-12, 11:38 PM
I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder when I was a teenager. I definitely fit the description back then but I don't anymore. I remember what it was like very well, and still feel a little bit of the old symptoms. Either I was misdiagnosed back then when it was something that had similar symptoms, or I overcame APD, if that's possible. If you have any questions about my experience, I'm happy to share.

Gilthranon
05-05-12, 03:58 AM
i dont know

but my "neurological symptom cluster" meets the criteria for avpd
Elaborate =)

I do not understand what specifically you are asking, Ocyan. However, all personality disorders are covered by this particular subforum.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask any of the moderators for the relevant forum (I co-moderate this particular subforum with EYEFORGOT and Bluerose).
But is wasn't mentioned among the threads of specific PD's.

I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder when I was a teenager. I definitely fit the description back then but I don't anymore. I remember what it was like very well, and still feel a little bit of the old symptoms. Either I was misdiagnosed back then when it was something that had similar symptoms, or I overcame APD, if that's possible. If you have any questions about my experience, I'm happy to share.
I think it was something different in that case. Could you tell more ?

For exemple, I guess my over sensibility to rejection on this forum is Avoidant, mixed with amplified ADHD emotions, and of course my own very personality.

oneup
05-05-12, 04:13 AM
I think Ocyan is asking "where is the sticky?"

Gilthranon
05-05-12, 04:17 AM
I just might... ;)

fracturedstory
05-05-12, 04:39 AM
I have Pathological Demand Avoidance disorder, which is more avoiding to carry out instructions asked of you, to the point of being mute, but some symptoms of Avoidant Personality disorder are in there. For example: I refuse to go out with people, as in a night on the town and not dating. I don't date either.

Fortune
05-05-12, 05:03 AM
I think Ocyan is asking "where is the sticky?"

I just might... ;)


Here's your Avoidant PD sticky (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=123572). I don't know why there wasn't one before.

Bluerose
05-05-12, 09:54 AM
Ocyan,

Sorry for any confusion.

Thanks Fortune for clearing things up.

Post in this section if you want we mods can redirect if necessary.

artist79
05-05-12, 01:48 PM
I think it was something different in that case. Could you tell more ?

For exemple, I guess my over sensibility to rejection on this forum is Avoidant, mixed with amplified ADHD emotions, and of course my own very personality.

I was very shy when I was growing up. In preschool, I clung to a friend I already knew, and wouldn't make any other friends. I only had one friend in elementary school up to about 3rd grade, and I hardly ever talked to other kids. If I did, I would usually end up feeling rejected, and cointuned to avoid that circumstance. I spent many recesses walking around the blacktop watching my shadow by myself. In middle school classmates started to harrass me. I had a group of friends, but they mostly just made fun of me at the lunch table.

Most of the time I avoided conflict altogether and never let my friends know how I felt because I didnt' want them to get mad at me. I became very depressed and fearful of socializing with my peers and if I could I would avoid going to school by pretending to be sick so I could stay home. I became very good at putting the thermometer on the radiator and light bulbs just long enough to make my temperature believeably high and not ridiculously high that what I was doing was obvious. I didn't do this all the time though. I would save the technique for times that I felt especially upset about school so it would continue to work and my mother wouldn't suspect.

Even now I avoid conflict at all costs. I'm fearful of people being mad at me, or losing someone I care about. I'm fearful of how people are going to react to me, so I let things build up inside until I can't stand it anymore, and then I give them a watered down version of what is really going on with me...often by email. If I try to tell someone something confrontational in person it takes me a looooong time to get the words out of my mouth. I have even compromised myself in order to accommodate someone else so they wouldn't be mad at me or upset.

Gilthranon
05-06-12, 05:40 AM
Thanks for sharing, I can relate mostly. Must have cost some courage to write it down.

Are you an artist ?

(((hugs)))

artist79
05-06-12, 08:48 AM
Thanks for sharing, I can relate mostly. Must have cost some courage to write it down.

Are you an artist ?

(((hugs)))

Yes. I am an artist. I dont' do a lot of art though because I don't have time, and when I do, which is rare, I waste it for the most part. I'd rather be doing art than wasting my time, but my head is so full of the stuff I "should" be doing and nonsense distracting me from what I should be doing at the same that that and I'm too overwhelmed and distracted to do it that I just end up in front of the TV or online. Yesterday was a perfect example. I did almost nothing all day.

I think I'll post some of my art in an album on my info page today.

artist79
05-10-12, 10:14 PM
Well, I finally got around to posting my art and creating an album :)

Gilthranon
05-13-12, 04:53 PM
Show it ;)

artist79
05-13-12, 05:14 PM
Show it ;)


:umm1:Confused. Not sure what you mean by show it. I posted it in an album on my page. Do you mean show it in this thread? I don't know how to do that.

Gilthranon
05-14-12, 03:04 PM
Beautiful. You've got a talent, I suggest to develop it. It might give you the recognition you deserve and build up your self esteem. It puts you on value.

thedazed1
05-18-12, 04:03 PM
I had an evaluation done a few months ago and they told me that I had APD. What treatment options are available, I stopped seeing the doctor shortly after the evaluation, probably because I did not want to face the situation.

Gilthranon
05-19-12, 03:16 AM
Welcome to the club Daze :cool:

artist79
05-19-12, 10:39 AM
I had an evaluation done a few months ago and they told me that I had APD. What treatment options are available, I stopped seeing the doctor shortly after the evaluation, probably because I did not want to face the situation.


I can't say I ever received any treatment for this disorder. The only treatment I have ever received has been counseling, and it's helped. It takes committment though.

Gilthranon
05-20-12, 04:43 AM
Counselling ? How did that go ?

artist79
05-21-12, 10:19 PM
Well, I find a lot of my social challenges stems from my ADD and depression. I don't think people are born with Avoidant personality disorder. I think it develops based on personal experience. My perspective was often skewed, and having a 3rd party who could put things into a better perspective for me helped me to overcome some of my avoidant tendencies. Not all. I still struggle intensely with avoiding conflict. I think this also stems from having NEVER seen my parents fight even once. I was SHOCKED when they divorced. I really never witnessed conflict-resolution. Discussing with a counselor things I want to confront, but don't knok how to, or don't have the courage to, can help me actually get to the point where I do confront an issue with a person, or find ways around it...like writing emails, or writing something out and reading it to the person it's intended for. It takes a lot of courage and building myself up to it though. It's scary not knowing how the other person is going to react, and being worried about that person being mad at me or worse...losing that person in my life altogether. But I try to remember...what's worse? A relationship based on a superficial "okness" that will eventually not be ok and could destroy it anyway? Or....dealing with things as head on as possible in order to move through it, and if that person goes away because of it...then was the relationship really worth it to begin with?

As the saying goes....those who mind who you are and what you think don't matter...those who don't mind who you are and what you think do matter. Not quite like that but something like that.

Gilthranon
05-26-12, 03:17 AM
I think we are born with everything from the get go. Certain aspects are inactive until triggered though. It's like sexuality. You might discover you've been bi your entire life, but you'll only know it on your 40th

fastgreen
06-02-13, 09:32 PM
I was very shy when I was growing up. In preschool, I clung to a friend I already knew, and wouldn't make any other friends. I only had one friend in elementary school up to about 3rd grade, and I hardly ever talked to other kids. If I did, I would usually end up feeling rejected, and cointuned to avoid that circumstance. I spent many recesses walking around the blacktop watching my shadow by myself. In middle school classmates started to harrass me. I had a group of friends, but they mostly just made fun of me at the lunch table.

Most of the time I avoided conflict altogether and never let my friends know how I felt because I didnt' want them to get mad at me. I became very depressed and fearful of socializing with my peers and if I could I would avoid going to school by pretending to be sick so I could stay home. I became very good at putting the thermometer on the radiator and light bulbs just long enough to make my temperature believeably high and not ridiculously high that what I was doing was obvious. I didn't do this all the time though. I would save the technique for times that I felt especially upset about school so it would continue to work and my mother wouldn't suspect.

Even now I avoid conflict at all costs. I'm fearful of people being mad at me, or losing someone I care about. I'm fearful of how people are going to react to me, so I let things build up inside until I can't stand it anymore, and then I give them a watered down version of what is really going on with me...often by email. If I try to tell someone something confrontational in person it takes me a looooong time to get the words out of my mouth. I have even compromised myself in order to accommodate someone else so they wouldn't be mad at me or upset.

I want you to know that I had something similar to this, and I overcame it.(I didn't have it quite as bad, I didn't avoid going to school, although I certainly wanted to avoid it.).

I want you to know that I overcame it by reading and studying some really good material on building self confidence and doing the work of practicing your social skills with this new self confidence as you build it. I didn't really even set out to do this, I just stumbled upon a good source on a tangentially related topic and got drawn in, and came out a different person.

I want you to know that I was weak and passive and ULTRA shy like you were, and now I am quite different. Now I am MORE confrontational than just about anyone I know, I will EAGERLY express myself if I feel someone has really violated or disrespected me (which isn't often but it happens a few times a year for sure.).

I want you to know how great it felt and how good it feels to this day, every time I stand up for myself, and speak out loud when others are afraid to, and smile broadly and confidently as I approach strangers and ask them about their dog or whatever interesting thing caught my eye. It's been about 14 years since I changed, and I still feel the change almost every single time. I still feel proud almost every single time!! Because I spent the first 18 years of my life like you, and that is who I always was, until I changed, and so even though I've been confident and assertive for 14 years now, I STILL know exactly the difference between the "old me" and "the new me".

It really is possible and YOU can do it, if you are someone like me who eventually got sick and tired of other people taking advantage of yourself, and finally said "You know what? This guide is right. I deserve the same **** as anybody else. No longer will I allow some jerk to get away with treating me badly if I have something to say about it. I'm not a bad person, but when I acted the old way, I was almost unconsciously broadcasting an invisible signal telling everybody else 'I know I'm a loser'. So from this day forth I am going to act confident most of the time whether I feel like it or not, and therefore people will be much more likely to respect me by default."

And it totally worked. Oh man it worked! Someday I will write a book or guide myself about my experience because it was so life changing. I just worry that too many books have already been written and mine would just be a waste of time and lost in all the noise. But I know I could write a really inspiring, totally kick *** book that tells you EXACTLY what you're doing wrong and how to fix it so you Rock! :D:cool:

atSWIMtooboreds
06-02-13, 10:15 PM
I want you to know that I had something similar to this, and I overcame it.(I didn't have it quite as bad, I didn't avoid going to school, although I certainly wanted to avoid it.).

I want you to know that I overcame it by reading and studying some really good material on building self confidence and doing the work of practicing your social skills with this new self confidence as you build it. I didn't really even set out to do this, I just stumbled upon a good source on a tangentially related topic and got drawn in, and came out a different person.

I want you to know that I was weak and passive and ULTRA shy like you were, and now I am quite different. Now I am MORE confrontational than just about anyone I know, I will EAGERLY express myself if I feel someone has really violated or disrespected me (which isn't often but it happens a few times a year for sure.).

I want you to know how great it felt and how good it feels to this day, every time I stand up for myself, and speak out loud when others are afraid to, and smile broadly and confidently as I approach strangers and ask them about their dog or whatever interesting thing caught my eye. It's been about 14 years since I changed, and I still feel the change almost every single time. I still feel proud almost every single time!! Because I spent the first 18 years of my life like you, and that is who I always was, until I changed, and so even though I've been confident and assertive for 14 years now, I STILL know exactly the difference between the "old me" and "the new me".

It really is possible and YOU can do it, if you are someone like me who eventually got sick and tired of other people taking advantage of yourself, and finally said "You know what? This guide is right. I deserve the same **** as anybody else. No longer will I allow some jerk to get away with treating me badly if I have something to say about it. I'm not a bad person, but when I acted the old way, I was almost unconsciously broadcasting an invisible signal telling everybody else 'I know I'm a loser'. So from this day forth I am going to act confident most of the time whether I feel like it or not, and therefore people will be much more likely to respect me by default."

And it totally worked. Oh man it worked! Someday I will write a book or guide myself about my experience because it was so life changing. I just worry that too many books have already been written and mine would just be a waste of time and lost in all the noise. But I know I could write a really inspiring, totally kick *** book that tells you EXACTLY what you're doing wrong and how to fix it so you Rock! :D:cool:

Unfortunately, avoidant personality disorder makes it nearly impossible to implement this sort of plan. And any remaining chance of doing so is probably done away with by the ADD.

Personally, I think this is probably quite a common combination, especially for Inattentive types. Our hypersensitivity to criticism is probably the big connecting thread between ADD and AvPD.

fastgreen
06-03-13, 06:47 PM
Unfortunately, avoidant personality disorder makes it nearly impossible to implement this sort of plan. And any remaining chance of doing so is probably done away with by the ADD.

Personally, I think this is probably quite a common combination, especially for Inattentive types. Our hypersensitivity to criticism is probably the big connecting thread between ADD and AvPD.

Well, re-read my story then, because I have ADHD-PI and I probably would have been diagnosed with AvPD in my teens. And I did it. :cool:

Gilthranon
06-03-13, 09:57 PM
Well, re-read my story then, because I have ADHD-PI and I probably would have been diagnosed with AvPD in my teens. And I did it. :cool:
A personality disorder is not possibly diagnosable until early adulthood (20+). The point of a personality disorder is that it is part of your personality. And that's something You Will Not Get Rid Off. Period. AvPD (like any other PD) describes an instinctual thought pattern, an emotional reaction that describes you (sure all Avoidants have different kinds of reactions but they're all in the same 'genre'). One cannot control or (irony) avoid those emotions, one can only channel the following mental chain reaction. Whatever the personality trait 'shy' stood for once in your life, especially if it was present entire childhood, it will evolve but definitely stay with you. Deal with it. You don't overcome you, you learn (hopefully) to cope with you. It's like changing an attitude but not personality. Than again - what I mean with 'coping' with it is simply 'using' it. Every problem has at least two solutions.

My diagnose is highly questionable, and considering the situation plain irrelevant, but I do have the dx and it wasn't until my 21st that I was ready for a diagnose.

Hell, for all I know, my ADHD diagnose was a misdiagnose, so was AvPD and I will be diagnosed with Consistent Coughing Condition Type III. As much as it 'saved my life' and it DOES help you accept certain flaws - let's be honest, if someone is to live a life, he HAS to accept his flaws anyway, and a 'condition' is just another flaw and advantage in the end.

I say to hell with them.

fastgreen
06-04-13, 12:07 AM
A personality disorder is not possibly diagnosable until early adulthood (20+). The point of a personality disorder is that it is part of your personality. And that's something You Will Not Get Rid Off. Period. AvPD (like any other PD) describes an instinctual thought pattern, an emotional reaction that describes you (sure all Avoidants have different kinds of reactions but they're all in the same 'genre'). One cannot control or (irony) avoid those emotions, one can only channel the following mental chain reaction. Whatever the personality trait 'shy' stood for once in your life, especially if it was present entire childhood, it will evolve but definitely stay with you. Deal with it. You don't overcome you, you learn (hopefully) to cope with you. It's like changing an attitude but not personality. Than again - what I mean with 'coping' with it is simply 'using' it. Every problem has at least two solutions.

Well, your post was confusing because it seems to contradict yourself. You are strict about PDs up front but at the end you say "the hell with them." and I'm not even sure what you're saying "the hell with it" to?

Regardless, I strongly disagree with your assessment of personality disorders. It's not an instinctual thought pattern, it's learned from an unhealthy environment growing up. Personality is not 100% permanent and unchanging. I've talked to a number of therapists who have seen clients improve to the point of no longer meeting the criteria for a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder.

Your attitude sounds like a defeatist, loser attitude that only discourages people diagnosed with personality disorders and tells them they cannot control or change themselves. A "personality disorder" isn't even a thing, it's an arbitrary decision about a spectrum of human behavior from mild to extreme and common to unusual, by a small group of people writing a book that changes every 10 years. Doing nothing but simply waiting for the the next revision of the book could potentially eliminate someone's personality disorder diagnosis! :D

I wonder how much of the personality disorder concept is reinforced by therapists who lack the skill and ability to successfully treat those clients? It's a pretty convenient cop-out that ensures the therapist is never to blame for a treatment failure. Anyone who doesn't get better? Slap the label of personality disorder on them. Done. :rolleyes:

It's bogus.

PS: Technically anyone 18 and older can be diagnosed with a PD. And if I had been diagnosed with AvPD when I was a late-teen and told this is a permanent defect in my personality and I can never change or get rid of it, I can almost guarantee you I never WOULD have changed myself as dramatically as I have done.

Gilthranon
06-04-13, 07:15 AM
Wanna know what made me laugh about your post ?

Your labels really offended me, and had it been for the right reasons - I'd have said - ok, guy's got a different opinion and is impulsive but we're clear at what we think. Argument of proof - my last words were : every problem has at least two solutions.

#@"* !!!

Thanks for the labels. Sent you a PM. We'll handle this privately.

Gilthranon
06-04-13, 07:48 AM
I think we are born with everything from the get go. Certain aspects are inactive until triggered though. It's like sexuality. You might discover you've been bi your entire life, but you'll only know it on your 40th
Ok this needs rectifications - born with everything (I think yeah but it evolves). Not exactly inactive, but more realtive than that... traits are there... HAve to be there but they need fuel to aggravate... external or internal fuel... What I meant about sexuality is that if you happen to discover you like other sexes than before, it probably always has been like that but passed unnoticed or ignored.