All my life it has been a struggle to ask a teacher a question, explain something to someone, ask a question at a front desk, & call for something. I don't know what it is but it sucks. I always have to rehearse what I am going to say or explain. For example, My ged certificate had an incorrect birthday, so I had to call to get it fixed. When I called, I didn't make sense, I ended up also forgetting what I wanted to say, & when I remembered, I couldn't explain it.

At the Dmv, they said "What can I help u with?"
I just stand there looking at them like I'm an idiot.
I speak unclear & I just don't make sense...

I want to use my teacher as a reference... I call & I go blank...

What can I do??? This is a serious problem I have. Always have to memorize what I want to say....is anyone familiar with this type of problem?

I over analize things before doing things. So if i need to phone the doctors i think it through like a story in my head and think about possible scenarios and outcomes. I then phone the doctors and cant explain what i thought, its all there in my head it just doesnt want to come out. So im the same as you in this sense but im better on the phone if i had gon the docs instead of phoning i would sound like a broken record stuttering and squeking.

Sometimes I have to write things down before I say them otherwise everything gets referred to as a 'thingy'.

All my life it has been a struggle to ask a teacher a question, explain something to someone, ask a question at a front desk, & call for something. I don't know what it is but it sucks. I always have to rehearse what I am going to say or explain. For example, My ged certificate had an incorrect birthday, so I had to call to get it fixed. When I called, I didn't make sense, I ended up also forgetting what I wanted to say, & when I remembered, I couldn't explain it.

At the Dmv, they said "What can I help u with?"
I just stand there looking at them like I'm an idiot.
I speak unclear & I just don't make sense...

I want to use my teacher as a reference... I call & I go blank...

What can I do??? This is a serious problem I have. Always have to memorize what I want to say..is anyone familiar with this type of problem?..

~ Underlinng in quote added by me~

:thankyou:

I have this problem as well - it drive me nuts

It's like my thought are one place in my brain and on the other side of my brain is a box full of jumbled up words thrown randomly in a box , a verbal sock box of sorts that I have to sort though to try and find which one goes with the thought I am having.


My mother wanted to know how to set a trap and called me to ask - I couldn't even begin to find the right words -

I had to drive home, drag an identical trap out that I have and demonstrate how to set it while my husband watched me and explained it to her over the phone.

Some times it is so frustrating looking for words don;t even bother trying.

Your freezing up under stress, make notes for yourself and it will be a lot easier to recall.
I have the same issues.

I actually get very irritated and angry if someone asks me to explain the book I am reading, or the movie I just watched. I get very pissy, and say things like "read it yourself!" I get so stressed out when asked to give a synopsis of anything. It's actually irrational just how mad I get.

I can explain an idea thats in my head ok but if someone asks what a film was about or what I did yesterday it really frustrates me trying to put it together and it doesnt make sense if I manage to.

Its not freezing up under stress its poor working memory and trouble with sequencing. Common problems with ADHD.

I to do the same thing and people don't understand me. I once went to a hardware store asking how to fix something and when I left my wife said that I asked the same question but in 6 different ways.

I can explain an idea thats in my head ok but if someone asks what a film was about or what I did yesterday it really frustrates me trying to put it together and it doesnt make sense if I manage to.

Its not freezing up under stress its poor working memory and trouble with sequencing. Common problems with ADHD.

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I have no trouble explaining things, I'm a compulsive explainer.
One of the "ask me the time and I tell you how to build a watch" types.
It's how I found the career I was made for education.
But catch me off guard and ask me to verbally explain the sequence I taught today and I'm overloaded.

ohh.. yess... its horrible when try to explain anything.. interviews are horrid no wonder i never get hired.. once when i was expelling something my interviewer thought i said i was a dancer like in coyote ugly.. she thought it was funny.. ggeze i thought this was just a "me thing"... dame u ADD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darkpk55, do you have other behaviors that you have trouble with? I am asking to see if the behavior you described is part of a larger issue.

Oh yes, I had that problem, part of it was shyness and lack of confidence/poor self image. The other part of the problem was motivational and poor prioritizing on my part.

Ultimately, and I hate to say this, but Meds were the only thing and are the only thing so far that allow me to consistently do those little things in a confident way without thinking about it too much.

Of course if you're depressed (hypothetically/not saying you are) that will get in the way too.

I used to have to get up, shower, get dressed, rev myself up into a confident mood somehow... just to make a simple phone call about some trivial little thing. Now I can do it without much effort. I know the feeling you describe though, it could be part of some larger problem but whatever it is you'll feel better when you tackle it.

Have you ever been so far even as decided to use go want to look more like?



Did I pop your brain? Good. :lol:

I usually leave out small details
Or my mind goes blank and I don't know what to say next
Either way I make hardly any sense. I've found that before I say anything, I need to go over it in my mind a few times so that I include all of the details and I know what exactly what to say. My other solution is to quit talking so much. But then people start asking 'Whats the matter', which is counter intuitive when you don't know how to explain what the matter is.

I usually screw things all up and it gets all turned back on me which then it just leads to an attitude problem on my part w some one getting royally cussed out and told to go bleep emselves.

Looking back, I think ....oh yah...that's me ....but I just never put it into words.....explaining things is really difficult for me ....and the less well acqauinted I am with the subject the harder it is ....


If I know sosmething really well, I can usually get it out in some semblence of order, most of the time ....


but even though I have read so much about ADHD and have been here participating for more than 2 years now, I still have trouble explaining what it's all about .....


but ask me how to re-finsih a piece of funiture? ....I can do that ....

I keep writing out replies to threads and when I start trying to explain I forget what I'm replying to and what I'm thinking in my head I cant explain properly. Most of the time I end up not bothering to post because it doesnt make sense.

This really p*sses me off and I feel like smashing something.

I see these really well thought out posts and think how the ***** can I not do that??

Its so f**kin frusrating.

Its happening a lot today and I feel like killing someone now.

I keep writing out replies to threads and when I start trying to explain I forget what I'm replying to and what I'm thinking in my head I cant explain properly. Most of the time I end up not bothering to post because it doesnt make sense.

This really p*sses me off and I feel like smashing something.

I see these really well thought out posts and think how the ***** can I not do that??

Its so f**kin frusrating.

Its happening a lot today and I feel like killing someone now.

I know what thats like. I have to write mine quickly or id end up the same

This is the story of my life. I sometimes say or even type things that don't come out right. I could spend an hours trying to make a post sound right in my head. When I say things out loud it's a problem because I can't just edit it. Also, sometimes in the process of explaining myself, some people might find some things sounding a little self-contradictory or confusing.

Now when trying to explain a problem to someone, that's really hard for me, I don't usually know how to start. Also the worst part is only getting one problem solved and completely forgetting about other ones that I need help with. Part of it is that it often seems to require a change in the flow of the conversation and I just don't like it to happen so suddenly.

Well guys.. Thank you!! I'm glad I'm not alone! I really appreciate all the replies. Despite this explanation problem, we still somehow manage to get through life. I guess I won't worry about it so much ,but just accept the fact it's ADD related.

Wow this is good to know it isn't just me then. Even though it is a pain at least knowing others do this and it is the ADD in me that is to blame makes me feel a bit better. Thankyou.
I walked into the workshop where I work and needed to pass on a message to the Production Manager, all I could manage were individual words that if he strung together and filled in a bit would make sense. The look on his face as I spoke was total confusion, I wished to just disappear. He did continue though and finally he understood what I was saying but all the same how embarassing.
I just stay quite as much as I can but it does get lonely and I do have an opinion and want to express it.
I am going to a party tonight, my worst nightmare. Soooo many people soooo many conversations to make a fool of me. RUBBISH.

If I'm not distracted or hyperfocusing on something...no.

I cut to the chase, rather bluntly.

Here's what the research says about this :

ADHD disrupts the Executive Function associated with the INTERNALIZATION of SPEECH.

That is considered to be the "source" of all verbal thinking.

ADHD delays this.

In other words, if someone asks us about something we like, we can go on forever.

On the other hand, if we're asked to explain what we just did and why, it usually

results in an "I don't know" type answer.

Hope that helps some.

tc

mctavish23

(Robert)

O.K. so I can relate to every reply here, and my eyes are crossing as I type this very message but I'm forcing it. I refuse meds but I absolutely have to supplement naturally. God and determination!!!!!!!

I see my word retrieval to be associated with my dyslexia more so than my ADHD - I have ADHD siblings and husband who have a lot less trouble with actual word retrieval than I do - They have trouble focusing it is especially noticeable when they are interrupted and need to switch gears so so speak

I was asked a question by some one on here one time and it was literally faster for me to learn how to do screen shots and show them than it was to figure out how to type out the words needed to answer the question.

If a subject is interesting to my ADHD siblings they have no problems finding words to explain things. My husband is as ADHD as I am despite being un-medicated he can not only find words often to many of them but he is able to spell every single one of them to boot.

He was the one on the phone to my mom having to explain how to set a cat trap while I demonstrated. Cat trapping is one of my interest, I have done TNR for years and it was my mother so comfort was not an issue. I simply did not know what to call things.

Word retrieval is worse when I am unmedicated because I struggle with controlling my frustration but as can be easily seen in my posting medications may help me with controlling what I say but it does not do diddly for my ability to find the right words and then figure out how to spell them, getting them to "flow" forget it - The medication only offers me access to the attention span necessary to sustain my focus long enough to post in a language resembling English

My ADHD sister and brother seem to have moments where engagement/destractability is a problem but once either of them decides to engages in a discussion both seem to be able to find the words -My siblings are also able to write and spell normally All are ADHD presumably with the same frontal cortex problems.


Word-finding ability and design fluency in developmental dyslexia. (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2021787)




. . . .

It wasn't until I met my wife and she told me about how hard I am to understand and how slowly I talk that I was aware of this. I start saying something, then interrupt myself and try to restate it, I spend inordinate lengths of time looking for the right word, I say "ummm" and pause quite often. If people ask me a simple question when I'm unprepared for it, I will fumble and mumble and generally sound like an idiot. It's a wonder I ever got hired for any job, and no doubt a huge reason I haven't ever gotten a management job despite the fact I have a bachelor's in business administration...

:thankyou:
>punching my desk while shrieking "YES!" & "NO WAYYYY!" many time a time reading this thread<

Yes- stare blankly as brain vacates the building. before CBT all my psychotherapy sessions were like that.

doc:"how are you doing since our last session"
me: .....hm......um, ........okay,...................................ah .........uh..........., good, ....................................,
thanks for asking.......?........
doc: anything you want to talk about?
me:....mmmm, uhhhh...., not of the top of my head, ...ummmm
~and so on.....

But- when I do try to do a synopsis, I have to then give a synopsis for my synopsis, then a synopsis for that synopsis.............

so you get a blank stare or a ramble for me in conversation.

In writing, oh no, i don't want to go there, ughhhhhhh.....I want/need to develop telepathy to communicate ideas.

I just struggle so mightily with getting thoughts thru my strained verbal abilities due to bad bad working memory (which I work hard to maintain and improve).

boo-hoo, the scope of the difficulty makes me sad. I never get to write 1/100 of what I want to.

It varies but my best, which is great & creative, is not very often, and my average is hard, and my worst is muteness. But I've had a rough 3 years, hoping to improve in that area too as life gets easier.

Yes, I definitely have a problem and can relate.

Several years ago, I flunked out of graduate school (in Physics) since I have extreme difficulty explaining my reasoning when it came to the Qualifying exams. I could solve difficult Calculus and Quantum Mechanics problems alright but I could not for the life of me explain my reasoning.

I work in Finance now and I've run into these problems when it comes to explaining to others how something (usually technical) works. Let's use the example of an Excel Macro.. Most people will ask a very open ended question like "How does the Macro calculate X?".

Instead of scrambling and struggling to put together a half-decent summary of a highly technical process, I just give them a vague and concise summary. Then hopefully they'll ask a question with specifics in it (i.e. "Oh, I see it's a function of A, B, and C." Now I understand A and B but could you go over your calculation for C?") I don't find it too difficult to answer questions with specifics in it.

So with me, if you ask a vague and open ended question (especially a technical question), you will get a very general answer. If you want specifics, you'll need to ask specific questions.

I have to write everything down. If I'm making a phone call for a specific purpose, I have to have a piece of paper with a script, and names of important people and phone numbers and addresses and stuff.

If I'm calling a doctor for an appointment first time or something I take like 5 minutes to write out all the possible info they might need so I don't go around in circles or sound like an idiot. If it's an add person though I just let it all hang out because I figure there's no reason in covering it up for them.

Yupp. Conversation can be such a hassle for me, and when I post something sometimes I forget part of what I wanted to say and usually add in something extra that I didn't plan on adding. It's funny, because when I imagine myself having a conversation with someone, everything is fine and I say exactly what I intended to say. I even think of certain sentences I will say to a person when I talk to them. But when I get to the coversation it doesn't really turn out as smoothly as it did in my mind.

In my mind, I think of how I will tell someone with their pants unzipped that their pants are unzipped, and I want to do it in a polite and quiet way. When I go to tell them, it's like all my plans just vanish and I say something to really embarrass them like, "Guess what? Your pants are unzipped." in a kind of accusational tone that I didn't want to use, but for some reason did.

This is a completely hypothetical situation, but it was all I could think of. It's like my brain changes at the last minute when I want to do something planned. Which is why I try not to think too hard about things, especially when explaining something to someone. That way, I won't get confused and, better yet, they won't either.