Hi All,
Since I was rx'ed with ADHD, I've had a strong feeling that my little brother also has it. He's a drummer - natural musician. He smokes a lot of pot, is always late, unmotivated, lots of traffic violations, major procrastinator and as a big sister who knows what ADHD looks like - it just seems obvious to me.

Well, our parents have taken a "better to be ignorant" attitude regarding ADHD. I guess they figure, I'm 29 and taking care of my problems so they don't need to educate themselves about it. This causes a lot of frustration on my part, but I also think it is causing them to not recognize it in my brother.

We've recently had some horrible happenings in my family. A dear uncle of ours committed suicide 2 weeks ago. Something no one saw coming and everyone is having a hard time understanding and coping with. My brother in particular - he's 24 by the way. He is a junior in college and up until now doing very well in his classes. Well, since he returned to school after all the funeral services, etc. he hasn't been back to class. He fell way behind in his studies (he was probably already behind when he had to come home to deal with everything) and he is feeling completely overwhelmed. He told me himself that he is totally buried and cannot catch up. He wants to drop out. He also said that he can't focus on anything and anytime he tries to get some work done he starts thinking about our uncle. Hello.... distraction, hyperfocussing/inablilty to focus, avoidance. Duh, right?

So, my parents are convinced he's clinically depressed and are just about ready to commit him - he refuses to see a therapist let alone try any meds. I've been in his place before so I know exactly what he's feeling. Back when I was in college and was having a hard time with classes, my solution was to drop out too.

I have been dealing with my uncle's death very well which I attribute to the meds I am on. I've been a total workhorse since it happened where ordinarily (pre-meds) I would have needed major time off to deal.

I think my brother may be depressed, but I think it's a side effect of ADHD. My parents don't think that ADHD is that severe of a problem that it could possibly be what's wrong here. I can't convince them otherwise.

Also, I want to offer my brother some advice but I am not sure what to say. Basically I told him so far that he has to do what he feels is best for him. But I'm afraid he is headed down the same path I took years ago when I was in college.

Sorry, this is a little long - but any thoughts that anyone might have would be very much appreciated!!!!

Regards,
Vero

Well, this is a hard one, because it's impossible to help anyone who won't help himself.

It's not completely obvious that your brother has ADHD, though. It sounds like he might very well have been depressed, but again, it's not completely obvious. ADHD and depression actually have a lot of symptoms in common. Most people find it rather difficult to concentrate when they are clinically depressed, and lots of people who find it difficult to concentrate get depressed because of it.

Regardless, it is rather difficult to have someone committed to a mental institution against his will. Basically you would have to prove he is an imminent danger to himself or others, and that is a lot harder than it sounds.

I guess the only thing you can really do is have a heart to heart, brother & sister talk and see what he says. If your uncle's recent suicide has affected him as deeply as you describe, he may be willing to seek help from a therapist and/or psychiatrist, or from his sister.