In reading some of the posts regarding Holidays and upcoming stress we put ourselves through, I say it's time to break the chain of expectations.
Have your favorite family recipe for Thanksgiving dinner...we've had lasagna and spaghetti in this single mom's house, my kids wouldn't blink an eye if they got tacos!


Hope its ok I've copied the following from a depression web site


...many ...suffer depression more severely during this time of year. And, depression doesn't just happen to other people.
No matter your circumstance it can easily happen to you. .. It’s a good time to take stock and hug those you love. Giving from the heart really does help to heal.


Get through this difficult time using all the help available.

What To Do And How To Handle Holiday Blues

More than 17 million Americans suffer from clinical depression every year.
...more than ...those persons stricken with cancer or heart disease.

More than 15 percent of these individuals attempt suicide with an increase during the holiday season. Sadly, many people don't know that depression can be treated, or are afraid to seek help because they fear that there is a stigma attached.
There is no stigma attached to getting emotional help. After all, if you sprain your ankle you wouldn't think twice about going to a professional. If you "sprain your brain," so to speak, you need to treat that as well. While the holidays are an exciting time for most people, remember, especially if you are part of a blended family, divorced or alone,

you may be one of many who suffer depression more severely during this time of year.
While everyone experiences bad moods,

if you have seven out of ten pretty good days, you are in OK shape. However, you may be suffering from clinical depression
if you experience five of the following symptoms for two weeks or more, or if they occur almost every day for most of the day for any extended time.
How To Recognize A Bad Case of Holiday Blues:

1. Depressed mood most of the day almost every day.

2. Feeling restless, anxious and agitated, unable to sit still.

3. Feelings of worthlessness and low self esteem.

4. Fatigue and low energy, unable to get out of bed.

5. Recurring thoughts of death or suicide.

6. Difficulty concentrating for an extended period of time.

7. Sudden weight gain or loss in greater than usual proportions. (Not just the usual holiday few extra pounds.)

8. Sleep disturbances such as: difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep or sleeping too much.

9. Continued feelings of helplessness or hopelessness.

10. "Out of character" irritability, impatience or anger.

11. Loss of interest in sex.

12. Loss of interest in your usual daily fun activities.


What To Do:
1. Ask for help.

2. Get help.

3. Give help.

4. Use the help available.

5. Don't stay alone. Make sure you seek out others.

6. Don't try to hide your condition from loved ones. Those who care can help you get the help you need.

7. Use all available resources.


Where To Go:
1. Ask a family member or friend to help you find a referral to a therapist.

2. Ask you physician for a referral to a mental health professional.

3. If your physician prescribes temporary medication, take it.

4. If you use an integrative health practitioner such as an acupuncturist, call them.

5. If you have successfully used alternative medications in the past such as Melatonin or St. John's Wort, consider trying them again.

6. Contact your local directory, crisis center, or hot line.

7. Call the national crisis hot line: 1-888-363-2287

8. Contact Depression U.S.A., Rockville, MD, 20857

9. Contact your local divorce group, parent's without partners or your religious affiliation.

... this is a particularly vulnerable time of year.

The media, society and those around you tell you to be happy.
Instead, you may be missing your family or your current situation is different from what you hoped it would be. Perhaps you have wonderful or dreadful childhood memories of this season that have resurfaced, or your expectations are unrealistic and you don't understand why? Maybe Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) has hit you bad and some light is required?

Whatever the reason for your blues this season, next year can be better. Get through this difficult time using all the help available.
The New Year and new opportunity starts soon.
Life is too hard why do it alone?

Things you can do to Help Someone suffering from DEPRESSION


Someone suffering a clinical depression needs medication and therapy. In addition, here are some things you can do for them as a loving person in their life.


Be clear in your mind that they need medication and therapy, and project this. Encourage them to continue both.
Make it clear it's now the new routine.

There should be Guide Dogs for the Depressed. If the depressed loved-one or client in your life doesn't have a companion pet, give them a well-trained, easy-to-manage, older one. This is particularly important if they live alone. Specify that you will take care of the dog in terms of vet care and bills, and provide a starter-kit--huge bag of dog food and container, food and water dishes, bedding, etc. In other words, make it easy for them to accept this healing gift.

Make any decision you can for the person. In other words, don't say "Would you like to go out for dinner tonight? Where would you like to go?" Say instead, "We're going to X's tomorrow night for dinner. I'll pick you up at 7:00. Just wear your jeans." Once there, offer to order for the person.

Speak in normal, modulated tones. Avoid an overly-'compassionate' look of concern or a patronizing tone of voice. If they have trouble making a decision or remembering something, keep your eyes from looking overly concerned or worried. This will only add to their worry and confusion.

Just be with them. Don't hover, try to cheer them up, argue, try to 'get a rise out of them,' or ask them 'talk about it.' Cognitive processes are slowed, and emotionally, they're in conflict. Under those circumstances, it's difficult to talk. It's hard to connect with people, even best-beloved ones, when you're clinically depressed--hard to maintain eye-contact and to follow long sentences and thoughts. A metaphor to use is play lacrosse with them, don't face off with them on the football line. Be 'around' them, not 'in their face.'

Don't put them in a position that would arouse emotions. Celebrations, holidays, receiving gifts, or a long discourse on foreign policy all require a level of involvement the depressed person is not capable of.

Be grounded and stay centered yourself. Remind yourself of your love for them that will endure "even this."

Have you ever overheard people talking about couples that have been married for a very long time? One of things often said is how a couple will begin to look alike over time. How and why do you think this occurs?

This phenomenon parallels a tea bag being steeped in clear water. After a while the water takes on the color and characteristics of the contents of the tea bag.

This is what happens with couples. They are both, at the same time, the "clear water" AND the tea bag -- Each saturating the other with ideas, attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, food choices and so forth. After a while there is a melting pot effect where they each more resemble the other, and this is so powerful that couples eventually begin to look alike. Powerful, eh?

Now, having a relationship with depression can be scarily the same. The depression tea bag will steep itself deeply in your life at least one time. Normally you will be able to take out the depression tea bag by adding new coping skills and continually diluting the mixture back to its original quality. "Clear water" is who you really are at your core. You have a base set of qualities that make up both your personality and what is most important in your life. It's your essence!

We all know that some teas are stronger than others. The depression tea bag is a strong, biggie-sized tea bag! It can powerfully impact your life, saturating you completely until you forget who you are. Depression becomes you!

When this happens you take on all the characteristics of depression, leaving much of who you are behind. How you walk will reflect depression. Your tone will reflect depression. Your moods will reflect depression. Your posture will mirror depression and so on.

It's been said that some people look at life through rose- colored lenses. When you become chronically depressed you look at life through ash-colored lenses. It taints how you see everything in your life.

To lend an example... I...introduced myself. The gentleman replied with, "Hello, I'm Mr. Depression!" In all fairness, he said this in a funny manner. We each had a chuckle, but it gave me automatic insight into how deeply depression had sunk into this young man.

....talking about how his life might be different if (listen closely here) he was a man "under attack from depression" vs. a man who "is depression."
Do you see the difference?

If I AM DEPRESSION... if that's who I am, how in the world can I change WHO I AM? ... he had over-identified with depression. He had lost his identity. This took about two years. His insight was a huge first step in putting distance between himself and depression.

...later ... we had some fun. I had him create a name for the depression. Then he completed a biography statement of the depression problem, including traits, goals, dominant feelings etc. .. he brought a picture to represent the depression problem, introduced the problem by name and taught me about this problem using a mini-biography.

This added great distance between him and depression. .. next to complete an exercise in re-acquainting himself with who he was at his core (outside of depression).

...what was most important to him ...is a direct path to the heart, making it very powerful lesson.

And once you strip away all the clutter in your life, the heart holds the truth about what is most dear to you --

Your CLEAR WATER! What makes you, YOU!

DEPRESSION SELF HELP ARTICLES

Get a Life!

by someone who works with people.

After years of hiding behind computer screens and management room doors, I realized that I fear closeness to other people.
Through contact comes the risk of disappointment, hurt, or abandonment.
This made me realize that I'm actually afraid to be alive.
So I left it all behind and commenced a "career" of working with people.
It is my work, and a big part of my life.
My real life is everything I experience. Everything I am.
I used to confuse the two, believing my life and my work were the same.
Don't make the same mistake.
Work is only an aspect of your life.

Your life consists of more than simply sitting at your desk, in front of your computer or commuting to and from your workplace.
Your life involves more than living through your head - it is living from your heart.
Life is more than your bank account - it is your essence, your source, your soul.
We don't really talk about our soul anymore.
It is so much easier to exchange our resumes instead of opening our heart to one another.
But a resume won't fulfill you on a cold, lonely night. Or when you're sad, broke or lost.

This is my resume:
I am a good (parent to my children).
...my best teachers so far.
We laugh a lot. We hug. We're moving ahead together.
I am a good partner to my life partner as I removed all the reasons and needs to be with her.
We laugh a lot. We hug. We're moving ahead together.
I am a good friend to my friends, doing my best to support them being all that they are.
We laugh a lot. We hug. We're moving ahead together.
I give my 100% every moment of my life; yet I know fully well that the next moment I can give even more.
I laugh about it. I hug myself. I move ahead.
I take risks and learn my lessons; yet I rarely make myself wrong anymore.
I laugh. I hug. I move ahead.
I no longer consider myself the center of the universe.
I laugh. I hug. I move ahead.

So here is what I wanted to say to you today: GET A LIFE!
A real life. Not the crazy chase of the next promotion, a bigger paycheck, the larger house.

Do you really believe that you'd care so very much about those things if you have a heart attack or find a lump in your breast?
Get a life in which you notice the soft snowflakes touching the bare ground before melting to be one with the earth; a life whereby you stop and watch a spider spinning its web fully trusting in the universe's abundance or the way a baby watches in wonder as the web is spun by the spider.

GET A LIFE!

Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter.
Let someone know that you care about them.

Get a life where you FULLY participate.
A life that will never be boring or mundane.
Observe the beauty of budding flowers in spring.
Smell these flowers who share their essence for no reason at all, for nobody in particular.
And realize that life is a magnificent gift, which should never be taken for granted. We have no right to do so!

I'm learning life for many years now. More years than I can remember.
I learned to look at all the good in the world and to try to make some contribution in return, because I believe in it wholly.
And I tried to do that, in part, by sharing with others what
I had learned...

In ...workshops ...the participants, through a visualization... reflect back at their life.
After looking at the movie of their life, they look at the values they acquired, at their successes and regrets, at the people they spend too little time with and at the people they spent too long with.
They have a chance then to look at how would they like to spend their time and with whom.
I give them a break after this process.
And it seem that suddenly everyone is totally involved in life again.
People call their parents, their children, neglected friends and lovers.
Suddenly there's a new sense of urgency and passion in their eyes.

GET A LIFE!
And keep your eyes, ears and heart open, as life is the classroom, the lesson is continuous and the exam is at the very end.

So don't forget to laugh, to hug, and keep on moving ahead.

Enjoy...

It is imperative that you remain calm.
If you are alone, contact someone to remain with you until professional help arrives.
Don't threaten: This may be interpreted as a power play and increase fear or prompt assaultive behavior.
Don't shout: If this person (suffering a meldown) doesn't seem to be listening, it isn't because s/he is hard of hearing. Other "voices" may be interfering.
Don't criticize: It will only make matters worse.
Don' squabble with other family members over best strategies or assess blame.
Don't bait him/her into acting out or wild threats: the consequences could be tragic.
Don't stand over him/her if s/he is seated. Instead, seat yourself.
Avoid direct, continuous eye contact or touching them.
Comply with requests that are neither endangering nor beyond reason. This provides the person with an opportunity to feel somewhat in control.

If indicated, call the police but instruct them not to brandish any weapon. Tell dispatch that this person is in need of a psychiatric assessment and whether s/he has or has not been hospitalized before and does or does not have access to weapons.

Strange to admit but I've fought depression so long it felt normal to me

DEPRESSION TEST ARE YOU DEPRESSED?

This depression test will help you understand if you are depressed and how bad your depression is. Take the test now

Answer these questions and for each yes give yourself one point (be honest!):

Do you:


Wake up early in the morning and find you can't go back to sleep?
Do you often feel extremely tired without apparent reason?
Do you lack self confidence and doubt yourself?
Do you feel lonely or withdrawn from the world?
Do you feel worthless?
Do you eat too much?
Do you drink too much?
Do you find it difficult to concentrate?
Do you find it difficult to think logically or make decisions?
Are you procrastinating or avoiding doing things?
Have you lost interest in sexual activity?
Are you apathetic and lacking in motivation?
Do you sometimes feel like crying?
Do you see no future for yourself?
Do you feel trapped?
Do you feel you can't cope?
Do you have trouble sleeping at night?
Do you feel life is not worth living?
Do you suffer from quick mood swings?
Depression Test Results:

less than 5 - low level depression or beginnings of depression

5 to 10 - moderate depression

11 plus - high level depression

Depression is serious and if you have moderate or high depression please see a doctor because after all's said and done it's up to you to heal yourself!

Depression Test Notes

Just a couple of the above may not be a problem but if you answer yes to say five or more of the above you are depressed.

There is a wide range of depression from low to high levels. If you answered yes to numbers 16, 18 or 19 you must do something now!

Please use the results as a springboard to take action. Please use all of the information contained and check for other resources