View Full Version : Understanding Women.


Bob-ADHD
07-23-12, 06:54 AM
Hey everyone,
I'm just about to finish highschool, and I've learnt a lot. I learnt about electricity, number sequences, the great war, philosophy of the mind, how to blow up a computer, why apples and fans don't go together etc. One thing I can't seem to get my head around is girls. I've been lucky enough to date several girls throughout highschool. However, after a few months or even weeks, the same thing happens: They tactfully tell me (God bless them) that we should be friends, or they use another breakup line that gets used an awful lot. I want to be able to understand women better, and also understand how my ADHD might be affecting my relationship with them. Any help would be fantastic.
Cheers,
Bob.

sarahsweets
07-23-12, 09:38 AM
I think for the most part it may have to do with the fact that your dealing with flighty high school girls.

RedHairedWitch
07-23-12, 09:43 AM
Practice and experince in is needed. not just for you, but for the women. Remember, right now the girls your age also have no clue, about men, about relationships, about sex etc. Everyone is fumbling along trying to figure out what's going on.

Make some female friends. Women you don't want to date. Hang out with them. Watch the women in your family and such. Read some blogs written by women.

Remember that we are all individuals. What one woman likes, another might not.

MX2012
07-23-12, 11:09 AM
Bob-ADHD, I like the advice you've gotten so far... to me it's a new world -- as an older woman what I wanted as a young woman doesn't seem like it's the same as what many young women want today. I wanted an affectionate, committed relationship with someone who was self-confident, self-sufficient, intelligent, with a sense of humor and was attractive (attraction is in the eyes of the beholder)... I can say that it was my ADHD that caused problems in my relationships. Sadly, I was not diagnosed until late in life.

I am concerned about young people today. They seem more into instant gratification than maturity or long-term relationships. I hope I am wrong.

You are smart that is a plus, I suspect with some research, practice and experience you will figure it out.

Good luck

TheChemicals
07-23-12, 12:01 PM
I would look for women a few years older than you. They have much to teach and very wise.

salleh
07-23-12, 12:32 PM
In our society ....high school and college age is FOR dating a bunch of girls and vise versa....count yourself lucky that you haven't gotten into a serious relationship at this point .....go out and have some fun ....this doesn't mean stomping all over them ....just learn to relax and enjoy their company ....


there are years ahead of you ....and your a a smart fellow, if you learned all that stuff, you musta been doing some hard work ....and college is gonna get even harder ....that's theb important thing ....thesed years are preparation for adulthood....and your brain still has lots of growing and learning to do ....the brain of a young man doesn't reach full maturity till I think around the late 20 maybe even into the early 30s ...

and if you have ADD ....add about 3 years to that ! ....our brains are slower to develope .....


....not everyone thinks this ...but I think that until you are late 20s or so ....don't tie yourself down to any one person ...and rememer what you were carzy about when you were in grade school and you look back and think ...eh what a kid ....well that's gonna happen when you're older ....people and stuff you loved to pieces are goning to seem awfully juvenile ....( not all, but most )


....Hedging my bet here, I do have to say that there are RARE times when a couple find themselves together as soul mates when they're very young ...it happens....so does lightning striking ....but it's real tricky to know that you have found your soul mate through life ....it always SEEMs to be ...but it's rare so young ....so very rare.....


.....This world is full of interesting people who do interesting things ....learn something interesting to do for yourself ...and interesting people will find you .....and the smarter and more educated, and confident in your own skin, with what you do in life, the more that attractive and intelligent women will want you ....


...when you hit maturity, and have accompishments you will find yourself wanting women who can keep up with you ....women who have been living their own lives to the fullest....


...I am not talking about money here, how much you make ...it is a part of getting your act together...but it is not the only thing of importance in the make-up of a person ....and one of the most important parts of any person, in my never humble opion, is compassion.....people who just base their success on money seem to lose that early on ....and that impairs their ability to lead a truely full life ....


...you'll be fine ...just one last thing ....curiosity ....keep that and you'll always have something interesting to get into ....and your mind stays young that way ....

Bob-ADHD
07-24-12, 05:18 AM
Thanks guys, this is all useful information. I suppose I do have years to figure it out. And Salleh, that whole paragraph is interesting. I do try to keep my mind busy, otherwise I get bored and restless :D
Cheers guys,
Bob.

Ranmaru
08-06-12, 05:46 AM
Practice and experince in is needed. not just for you, but for the women. Remember, right now the girls your age also have no clue, about men, about relationships, about sex etc. Everyone is fumbling along trying to figure out what's going on.

Make some female friends. Women you don't want to date. Hang out with them. Watch the women in your family and such. Read some blogs written by women.

Remember that we are all individuals. What one woman likes, another might not.

Hmm. Good point. Recently, I just had ended a relationship with my girlfriend. She told me she felt it was better we were friends, to which I agreed. I sort of never really brought this up with her at all... I dunno... I was uncomfortable with bring up our 'future' because I felt it was bleak. She brought it up, and I was surprised. This was pretty recent too. Anyways, when it came to my feelings, I was honest, I just didn't get serious as much because, she'd at times be a bit sad that I wasn't really 'returning' that love, even though we were having a good time and all. I mean, there was nothing I could really do there. (Except support her, and hug her, etc)

Basically, she fell in love with me, but I didn't feel the same level of love back. I liked her, of course. The reason I liked her because she was very generous and had this cool candy thing, and she seemed very caring. To me, I was just dating, to date, and have fun with her. Not to really think of a serious thing until later. That is something I will re-evaluate.

Also consider this was my first real relationship with a girl. xD

Anyways, it's just... I don't want to stomp on a girls heart, and don't want to hurt them either. Do I want to date? Yes. Am I... turned on sometimes? Yes (ok, we have been apart for the summer ;-; (she's in the city for her college, and is now at home) Yet... I try to pace myself here because I also want to find love. I'm going to keep that in mind, before getting into another relationship. I don't want my urges to get in the way of that.

Also, consider now that I'm 22.

doiadhd
08-06-12, 05:57 AM
Love em and leave em,do not commit,keep em guessing. Do not,repeat do not tell them you love them! Game over after that. And make sure you wear protection,ya seriously :) but respect them,pretend to listen to them,and its all about the s e x. No one understands the female species,they don't even know themselves,i must have a womans brain.

susan12
08-07-12, 05:23 AM
girls are always complicated. You should be patient to understand them better. It will take time. However, I personally think that the most important factor for a serious relationship is sincerity, really.

rickymooston
08-12-12, 11:15 AM
Hey everyone,
I'm just about to finish highschool, and I've learnt a lot. I learnt about electricity, number sequences, the great war, philosophy of the mind, how to blow up a computer, why apples and fans don't go together etc. One thing I can't seem to get my head around is girls. I've been lucky enough to date several girls throughout highschool. However, after a few months or even weeks, the same thing happens: They tactfully tell me (God bless them) that we should be friends, or they use another breakup line that gets used an awful lot. I want to be able to understand women better, and also understand how my ADHD might be affecting my relationship with them. Any help would be fantastic.
Cheers,
Bob.

My friend, start a diary. When a girl friend complains write doen the things she complains

Since you have adhd, here are some possible causes
- you are too disorganized
- you do not listen
- you dint take hints and dominTe conversations
- the toilet seat
- you are not solid enough in your career goals

salleh
08-12-12, 12:09 PM
doi,.......I know you're going through a very bad time indeed.....you got involved with a , well not very nice person .....to put it mildly ....but all women aren't like that ......neither are all men cold and afraid to commit .....( though at times it might feel like that )

.....but if everyone took the attitude you're espousing right now, this world would be even harder than it is ......

not meant to stray OT here, just wanted to say that while I understand that Doi is going through a very rough time, it is coloring his judgement .....


with ALL people....the best and shortest advice I can give is to treat others as you would like to be treated yourself ......

salleh
08-12-12, 06:27 PM
Really ???? Srsly ???? No more than the young men .....parents spoil both sexes .......

and girls grow up .......it's be nice to know that boys do too.......

doiadhd
08-12-12, 06:47 PM
Na. This day and age. Woman can do and say as they please. Men can not. This is truth. Maybe not one hundred per cent but put into percentages and worked out accordingly,just a simple fact i've stumbled across mostly higher end working class,which is middle class and they act more importantly than that. Might have something to do with contraception also,as woman i've met late thirties early forties and up seem to be women. Don't forget we're talking about girls here. Never happier than loved then left. I've had more than one girlfriend. How many have you had ;) :)

doiadhd
08-12-12, 07:27 PM
Ok i admit it,got carried away there soz! Just had bad experiences and relationships in past. Sure there's a mrs right somewhere. . .hopefully soon. Someone with a sense of humour would help this time,or compassion,or any moral or emotional values whatsoever at least :) ;)

GypsyMind
08-15-12, 05:32 PM
What one woman likes, another might not.

And most importantly, make sure D@mn sure you don't tell the next one what the previous one did or didn't do. lol

{chauvinist response}Well, actually, if they do something you totally dig that your ex didn't, you can share that little factoid in a careful manner - chicks dig compliments about what they do that your ex didn't. {/chauvinist response}

I won't like. Guys do too. It's an ego thing.

Seriously though... I agree with pretty much everyone else is saying. If they break up with you, consider it a blessing... Because there's less chance of them doing the psycho-stalker-to-see-who-you're-with routine.

You're just starting off in life and the ADHD world is vast and full or countless pitfalls, stumbling blocks, etc.. Use your youth to understand yourself so later in life, you'll be more comfortable with a partner if you decide to have one.

Or ignore us all and learn the same way most of us did... The hard way. lol