View Full Version : Trouble helping teens when whole family is effected by ADD


amberwillow
08-23-12, 08:06 PM
I feel like I need to post here. I'm not sure it will come out right, but here goes....

I have 2 teens in high school and an older daughter who has left (mostly)home.

My youngest child is 15 and has been dx ADHD-Pi.
She is really struggling with time management, organization and her relationships with the teaching body at her school is becoming more strained.
None of this will surprise many of you (I suspect).

When I was a SAHM I felt like I could help more to catch those 'moments' when she was falling behind or over-committing herself to extra-curricular activities (music/stage) and kind of nudge her back onto a less counter-productive path. It wasn't perfect, but it worked reasonably well.

The problem is that NOW I'm working 34hrs a week. I am the main breadwinner. My Dh (my kid's stepfather) is at home 90% of the time but he is also ADHD-Pi, is on a disability support pension for cronic long term depression and displays the symptoms of a delayed sleep phase problem.

I am leaving the house at 5:30am to commute to work and rarely return before 6:30pm. When my Dh sees me off in the morning he has often only been asleep 2-3hrs... So I suspect he is comatose by the time the kids get up at 7am.

My Dd15 isn't leaving for school in time for class. She is often behind with her homework and lately she has been spending so much time volunteering to help out with the Music Dept (she loves band) that she's skipping classes that so KNOWS she is behind in.

I feel like I've dropped the ball... We live in Melbourne, Australia... The school year here runs from the end of Jan to mid Dec. The upper years of high-school often do exams much earlier and finish near the end of Nov. So I know she is running low on time to pull it together for a pass this year.

I have time with her from approx 6:30pm until 9pm x4 school days per week and every second weekend (she goes to her dad's every other). Plus - band trips and workshops and of course social life (her bf and friends).

We eat dinner when I get home... I need strategies to help overcome this time poverty and get the best from my Dd, Dh and the school.

Any suggestions would be most appreciated!

I have ADHD-C, could you keep that in mind when you answer.
Ta :)

amberwillow
08-24-12, 03:40 AM
Waiting bites... Putting on my waiting socks...

Kasi
08-24-12, 04:21 AM
Tutoring might help. Even if your daughter doesn't really need much help with the comprehension, I found it supremely helpful to have someone nearby who could tolerantly tap me on the shoulder with a smile when I went all daydreamy. Make SURE that this tutor isn't type A, budding workaholic kind of a person. The combination would probably be a nightmare.
If she's amenable, basic coaching on trying to find a time management method that works for HER might be good.

amberwillow
08-24-12, 06:10 AM
We couldn't afford a tutor in previous years. I guess I haven't revisited that option since my income has improved. We are probably a month from getting completely out of debt.

Oh, I forgot that one of the teachers mentioned some sort of homework club one day a week after school - just jumped into my head now...

I should find out about that.

Thanks for reminding me :)

Kasi
08-24-12, 06:34 AM
I don't know what area you're in, but a lot of times, if you have a decent population or are near a college, there tend to be high school/college students looking for a bit of extra credit by tutoring someone younger and they don't charge for it. Tends to happen a lot if there's a program for education (becoming a teacher) in a local school.

amberwillow
08-24-12, 07:03 AM
We live in a suburb of over 15,000 people... Part of the greater City of Melbourne (pop. 3.3 million or so).

I can ask around... Sometimes tutors advertise on the community board in the local supermarket.

She had to pick her subjects for next year today. She at least has an idea what direction she wants to move in.

amberwillow
09-10-12, 07:42 AM
She is currently motivated enough to chase up the work she has missed.

The gap in info between her version of events and the schools...
That is what I'm concerned about.