Am looking to contact other non-add spouses to share info & exchange strategies for getting along with a spouse with ADD.

Me too! That's why I'm here. I need strategies on how to handle this best, what works, what doesn't. How to have an ADD/Non-ADD relationship and not go crazy or drive the other crazy. anyone had success and want to share their wisdom ??

Here are a few things that have worked for me.

1. Don't sweat the small stuff.

2. Help only when it's clear that your help is wanted.

3. Treat each other with kindness. This goes for all relationships.

4. Play to your strengths. If you're the financial wiz, then handle the money. If your partner is great at yard work, then let him/her handle it.

5. Keep a sense of humor.

6. Continue to pursue your own hobbies and interests. Everyone needs an outlet for creativity.

That's also why I signed up as well. My ADD partner signed up too, so we can both look for solutions to make our living environment the best it can be. :D

Right now, I've been supplying him with new positive things for fidgeting, and helping him to review things that are important (bills, etc.). And in return, he has now started making his own lists of chores, etc., which is working out great, because he's not forgetting stuff and it also shows me that he wants to be responsible for things. These are great boards to read through for ideas. :D

Well I'm the ADHD person in my relationship and this is what I would like to share with the NON ADD'er in my life. Hope this helps...

1. Be patient. I know that is hard at times--I don't meant to do things to Irritate you -Honest.

2. Don't give up on me.... I am trying to the best of my ability.

3. Don't laugh at me..laugh WITH me...There's a big difference there.

4. Look beyond my mistakes..there are things I can excel in:)

5. Make me lists, and I will make lists as well. Memory is a problem for me:(

6. Help me clean up the house, or help keep it cleaned up; whichever applies.

7. Don't use my ADD for an excuse, make me accountable in a loving way.

8. Don't just walk away from relationship..I didn't get this way overnight; and I will NOT BE able to change overnight.
But I think we are Both worth the trip:)

I need to verbalize some more..but this is a start..hope you have soem insight from us on this side of the coin. By the way I'm a lady, My S.O. has alot to learn..we can learn together.

[QUOTE=Disneyphile]Right now, I've been supplying him with new positive things for fidgeting, [QUOTE]

Hi disneyphile! Can you elaborate more on the positive thinkgs for fidgeting? I'm wondering for my hubbie.

6. Help me clean up the house, or help keep it cleaned up; whichever applies.



or if it is affordable, (for me it was well worth the expense) get a cleaning service and share the cost. It worked for me... :cool: and eased an area of conflict in my marriage.

good luck... :)

4. Play to your strengths. If you're the financial wiz, then handle the money.
What to do if he thinks he's better at something but maybe is not? Dh insists we'll never go back to the old fashioned checkbook register system of keeping track of expenses. He loves Quicken. Quicken is a great tool, but dh does not keep it up to date. I have recently spent hours updating receipts for the past 9 mos. He insists we have a line of credit on our checking account which I have never liked. Now I know why he likes it-- if he doesn't keep track of things we're covered. (for that reason, I do like it!) I'm ready to take over the whole thing but know dh will not be happy. He doesn't want to be on a budget either. This is something I plan to discuss when we start counseling soon.