View Full Version : Do I have ADHD and Asperger's? Or just ADHD? (long post, hope you like to read)


Geno
08-28-12, 02:15 AM
I'm diagnosed with severe combined type ADHD, which my pdoc says is "one of the most extreme I've seen in all my years". After looking up Asperger's syndrome in the DSM, I seem to just barely make the minimum requirements for a diagnosis. (I have all of the symptoms of ADHD in the DSM, though) Is it possible to have both? Many of the AS qualities I have could be attributed to ADHD as well, but one or two can't.

Problem is, I've heard people with AS usually have little to no desire for a lot of friends and generally don't like people very much other than their parents, they're unable to see when people are getting upset/annoyed, they lack compassion, they're very out of touch with their feelings, and they make decisions solely based on logic without taking emotions in to account. Oh, and they strictly adhere to routines.

I love people, they just don't like me back most of the time, which ended in developing bad social anxiety. I push people's buttons sometimes because I'm an attention seeker, but I can clearly see that they are, in fact, annoyed by my behavior. I've always had intense interests, but I don't constantly discuss it with others constantly like many AS people do, unless they have an interest or semi-interest in it. I'm more compassionate than most people, I can't even watch gory things on TV because all it'll do is depress me because I can't help but put myself in their shoes. I have no problems detecting sarcasm either.

I'm more in touch with my emotions/sensitive than any guy I know, I prefer intimacy and romance(with a girl I actually like) over sex and, at 19 years old, know there's a massive difference between infatuation and love, and I would be totally fine with getting married right now and staying with the same girl forever. (provided I actually did love her.). I cry a LOT, because when no one is around I make no effort to hold back because crying actually DOES make me feel better after.

I do use logic far more than most people, but I don't ONLY use logic. I take feelings in to account too.

I don't know if this has to do with AS or just more severe forms of autism, but I had no developmental delays and actually learned to do things earlier than most kids, except for of course ADHD related stuff. And finally, I don't only not follow routines, but I dislike them and prefer to just do things whenever I want to/whenever they need to be done without an exact time.

The asperger's traits I DO have? (I'll put a ** next to the ones that I don't think are associated with ADHD) I sometimes stare at people without noticing I'm staring(although I'm not actually focused on them, just zoned out.), I interrupt people a LOT, I often forget to make eye contact although I'm getting better at it**, I think visually a lot, significantly more than most NT people do, but not to the extent many people with AS I've seen and I think in words often to*, I disliked people around my own age until I was a teenager, because no one could hold an interesting conversation. As a result I'd get along better with adults/older from when I was 5 to even now(although this may just be attributed to my IQ being 135.). If something is going to happen that effects me, I go crazy unless I have at least a rough estimate as to when, "soon" is never good enough**, I have an incredibly strong interest in pharmacology and have spent hundreds if not thousands of hours reading books and reading articles about it(although I don't discuss it endlessly with people unless they show an interest).** Oh, one more. I'm an inflexible thinker according to most people, but I don't think that's true because almost all of my views are based on logic.**(This doesn't contradict the above, my decisions are based on emotions and logic. I'm referring to things like: I believe war is pointless unless somebody invades your country because all it does is kill people and drain money from the economy, and I'm agonistic rather than religious or atheist because no point of view has provided proof.)

The fact I can very easily put myself in other people's shoes and am as in touch with my emotions as I am would make me discount AS as a possibility instantly, if it weren't for the ** symptoms up there. Could those things be either:
A. lesser known ADHD symptoms too
B. a coincidence
C. I have a case of Severe ADHD with very mild aspergers?

What ADHD symptoms typically wouldn't be found in Asperger's? Which Asperger's symptoms typically wouldn't be found in ADHD?

Lisa_Mac
08-28-12, 03:06 AM
Based on what you've just said, I would say that you're just a regular guy with adhd. No aspergers. Many aspergers symptoms are similar to adhd because adhd is often a comorbid of AS.

ADHD is also a developmental disorder and I once read something about it being on the same spectrum as AS. (that was just someone's theory).

Being bored with conversation and needing more stimulation is not a sign of AS. People with AS are not able to be reciprocal in conversations so actually, all they really want to do is talk about what they are obsessed about at the time. Interrupting people is a sure sign of ADHD. You think it, you say it. You're impulsive. Being logical is the sign of a male brain, not autism.

Geno, are you of latin descent, Italian perhaps?:) Latin men are generally more in touch with their emotions than your average wasp.

None of the symptoms that you say are AS, really are. Staring at someone (or in someones direction) because you've zoned out is typically adhd.

Not making eye contact is also not necessarily AS. Depends why. Does it actually hurt or embarrass you, or are you just constantly distracted.

Not all visual thinkers are autistic. Artistic people think in pictures often. And you think in words too? Normal

If you found that the kids your own age were boring, it just means you weren't interested in inane conversations about nothing. Your brain needed more stimulation than they could offer.

Having a strong interest is not necessary a sign of AS. Only if you talk about it and think about it to the exclusion of everything else and use it as the only way to communicate. i.e. when meeting people, instead of holding a conversation with them, you talk at them, about something that interests you, because after all, if it interests you, it has to interest them.

The main hallmarks of AS are the total obsession with specific subjects and the inability to communicate in a reciprocal way and to read social signals. (body language, etc.) Also, the absence of a Theory of Mind, where the person is not able to understand that someone thinks and is different to themselves. It's a mild high functioning form of autism and people with autism are not able to communicate their thoughts and interact with others. It's not that they don't WANT to, it's that they CAN'T.

I've noticed that there are plenty people who think that they are AS but in actual fact are just introverted/antisocial/not stimulated by normal boring social chit chat and perhaps also adhd.

If you don't want to go to a social gathering because you find the conversation boring than the problem is you need more mental stimulation.

Take care

Lx

Geno
08-28-12, 03:20 AM
Based on what you've just said, I would say that you're just a regular guy with adhd. No aspergers. Many aspergers symptoms are similar to adhd because adhd is often a comorbid of AS....

1. Thank you. I was so worried that I may have AS too, which would make my life even harder.

2. I am italian, good guess!

3. The only two things, after reading your post, that still just scream "Asperger's" are the fact I feel much better knowing exactly or roughly when something that effects me is going to happen, I pester people until they give me at least a rough estimate. And the fact I have such an intense interest in pharmacology, to the point where I need to read university textbooks about it now because nothing on the internet goes in-depth enough to tell me what I don't already know. I do have other interests, but my interest in pharmacology is more intense than I could describe and I literally can not learn enough about it. I really need to struggle to not bring it up to people who don't care, but I manage. Sometimes I do talk "at" people and end up spilling some complicated information that the person gets confused by like an asperger's person would do, but I conciously know that's not good and I stop myself.

4. As for the eye contact, I just forget to sometimes because I don't see the point. I'm not opposed to doing it nor does it make me feel weird unless the person is one of those people who seems to be looking in to my soul.

Assumption
08-28-12, 03:21 AM
Have you tried any of the online screening tests? They're by no means a diagnosis, but you might find them informative anyway.

What Lisa_Mac said pretty much echoed my thoughts, though. Although I don't think it's correct to say that people with Aspergers lack a theory of mind (an impairment in thinking about others' mental states, yes. Mind-blindness? That's going a little far, I think, especially when you're talking about the milder part of the spectrum?)

Assumption
08-28-12, 03:23 AM
I feel much better knowing exactly or roughly when something that effects me is going to happen, I pester people until they give me at least a rough estimate.

That's just impatience, right?

Lisa_Mac
08-28-12, 03:39 AM
That's just impatience, right?

:lol: People with adhd are notoriously impatient. "I want it NOW or sooner":lol: From what I've seen, people with AS are more likely to deliberate on something before making a decision. Anxiety is high over anything new and they also tend to like repetetive tasks and have VERY narrow interests. They concentrate on detail and often miss the bigger picture.



Lx

Lisa_Mac
08-28-12, 03:49 AM
1. Thank you. I was so worried that I may have AS too, which would make my life even harder.

2. I am italian, good guess!

3. The only two things, after reading your post, that still just scream "Asperger's" are the fact I feel much better knowing exactly or roughly when something that effects me is going to happen, I pester people until they give me at least a rough estimate. And the fact I have such an intense interest in pharmacology, to the point where I need to read university textbooks about it now because nothing on the internet goes in-depth enough to tell me what I don't already know. I do have other interests, but my interest in pharmacology is more intense than I could describe and I literally can not learn enough about it. I really need to struggle to not bring it up to people who don't care, but I manage. Sometimes I do talk "at" people and end up spilling some complicated information that the person gets confused by like an asperger's person would do, but I conciously know that's not good and I stop myself.

4. As for the eye contact, I just forget to sometimes because I don't see the point. I'm not opposed to doing it nor does it make me feel weird unless the person is one of those people who seems to be looking in to my soul.


ADHD and AS are often present in the same families. I have both in my family and like you I have wondered whether I was AS. I've read A LOT about it.

I have read that sometimes people can have traces of AS but not enough to be diagnosed, because of the presence of the dna in their biological make up. But really, I think to be truly autistic, you need to have serious issues with communication, not just a slight possiblility. A lot of my problems socially can be put down to severe anxiety which is definitely adhd rather than anything else. Having a more introverted personality can also have the effect of making one more interested in non social pursuits.

Lx

fracturedstory
08-28-12, 04:19 AM
You can have both ADHD and Asperger's. I'm HFA and ADHD. I'm split right down the middle so it's easier to see the differences.

Okay, AS is not just as black and white as that. Every brain is different, even if the people have the same disorder. People with AS can want to make friends but have very poor social skills so they are clueless at how to do this, and often make many mistakes.

You don't need to have every symptom of AS to have AS. Not all need routines and some can be extremely emotional.

One theory on autism is it's because of experiencing too much of other emotions and their own that it shuts them down.

Social development is different in each person with AS too. Also, by the time you're an adult you have probably developed skills you didn't have in childhood.

It's common in AS to develop early and on time. Late development would have you diagnosed with high functioning autism. It's common that they get along better with people either younger or older to them.

I'm not saying you are AS, just wanted to clear a few things up.

Geno
08-28-12, 04:29 AM
You can have both ADHD and Asperger's. I'm HFA and ADHD. I'm split right down the middle so it's easier to see the differences.

Okay, AS is not just as black and white as that. Every brain is different, even if the people have the same disorder. People with AS can want to make friends but have very poor social skills so they are clueless at how to do this, and often make many mistakes.

You don't need to have every symptom of AS to have AS. Not all need routines and some can be extremely emotional.

One theory on autism is it's because of experiencing too much of other emotions and their own that it shuts them down.

Social development is different in each person with AS too. Also, by the time you're an adult you have probably developed skills you didn't have in childhood.

It's common in AS to develop early and on time. Late development would have you diagnosed with high functioning autism. It's common that they get along better with people either younger or older to them.

I'm not saying you are AS, just wanted to clear a few things up.

What are other differences between high-functioning autism and AS? I'm curious, all I can find is that AS = normal development and must have 85+ IQ, high-functioning autism = may develop late and may have a lower IQ.

Is there a moderate-functioning autism between AS and the classic hand-flapping nonvocal autistic that's been known for much longer? I only hear of HFA people and LFA people.

fracturedstory
08-28-12, 04:35 AM
It's a mild high functioning form of autism and people with autism are not able to communicate their thoughts and interact with others. It's not that they don't WANT to, it's that they CAN'T.

I've noticed that there are plenty people who think that they are AS but in actual fact are just introverted/antisocial/not stimulated by normal boring social chit chat and perhaps also adhd.

If you don't want to go to a social gathering because you find the conversation boring than the problem is you need more mental stimulation.

Take care

Lx
It can be learnt though.

I'm actually not interested in people and that's the way I was as a child. It's not that I thought the things they talked about was boring as I do now but because I never thought about them.

Lisa_Mac
08-28-12, 04:58 AM
It can be learnt though.

I'm actually not interested in people and that's the way I was as a child. It's not that I thought the things they talked about was boring as I do now but because I never thought about them.

Thanks fracturedstory, your input is very interesting and valuable in a thread such as this.

Were you quite content to just not interact at all with another person or group of people?

take care:)

Lx

fracturedstory
08-28-12, 05:14 AM
Thanks fracturedstory, your input is very interesting and valuable in a thread such as this.

Were you quite content to just not interact at all with another person or group of people?

take care:)

Lx
Quite content. I would draw cats and dogs, learn about dinosaurs, and live in my mind which was a highly visual world influenced by movies, especially that movie Sidekicks.
It just never occurred to me to interact with others. However I would make any attempt to get to interact with their animals.

Geno
08-28-12, 05:28 AM
Quite content. I would draw cats and dogs, learn about dinosaurs, and live in my mind which was a highly visual world influenced by movies, especially that movie Sidekicks.
It just never occurred to me to interact with others. However I would make any attempt to get to interact with their animals.

How often do you think in words? Almost never? Rarely?

My mind is very visual at times, I'll oftentimes imagine my future(or sometimes past) as if it were a movie in my head, playing scenes more dramatically or doing things I'd never actually do, played in a way that makes me look like the hero every time. If I was thinking about the past I'd think about what it would have been like if the situation went perfectly(not in a depressive, ruminating way), if I'm thinking about the future I'll imagine it going perfectly. I'll also sometimes imagine myself in a completely ridiculous situation that'd never happen even in a perfect world. Thank God for being able to do that, the above was what I did in school to fight off the urges to jump out a window and run anywhere else but there.

I'm not sure if anyone could do the above or if it's "abnormal". People always say I'm great at painting out scenes and pictures with words.

fracturedstory
08-28-12, 05:39 AM
What are other differences between high-functioning autism and AS? I'm curious, all I can find is that AS = normal development and must have 85+ IQ, high-functioning autism = may develop late and may have a lower IQ.

Is there a moderate-functioning autism between AS and the classic hand-flapping nonvocal autistic that's been known for much longer? I only hear of HFA people and LFA people.
I hand flap...and so do many others with AS. But I know what you mean. Non-verbal severe autistics do it more.

AS and HFA are pretty similar. One thing I notice is facial features are different, more rigid, as is the body posture. HFA is pretty varied though. A person who can be diagnosed either HFA or AS could be diagnosed either HFA or AS. People can go from severe autism to HFA after they start building more skills. There is a moderate functioning autism too. Verbal, still has a lack of social skills, quite rigid behaviours, need routine, needs a carer, etc. I'm unsure about IQ but maybe just below average.

What I think doctors do is look at how the symptoms manifest. I've got a lot of rigid behaviours still though I've recently developed this thing called empathy, I have some really classic symptoms such as not liking change, needing routines, and severe sensory issues and the explosive meltdowns. Although I do try to hold them back. I was delayed but not severely. It was still enough to say this child doesn't have appropriate self care skills to their development age. I couldn't learn in a classroom.

AS is most likely diagnosed where the development seems average apart from social skills and there are still some symptoms of rigidity but it's not as pronounced in classic autism. They interact more with typical children though struggle with it because they don't know the right social response and have an impaired theory of mind.
Hand flapping if it happens is reduced to times of stress. When they have a high IQ AS is almost always diagnosed. It's not always though and different doctors have their own opinion on how to diagnose it.
There's less rigidity in face and body. You can't tell someone has AS by looking at them. Not usually. They sometimes have the wide eyed stare and may not look directly at a person, but they don't have a tight body posture like in autism. One thing that is more common is motor skill issues.

Not a whole lot of differences and by 2013 Asperger's will be merged with HFA.

Assumption
08-28-12, 05:54 AM
Okay, AS is not just as black and white as that. Every brain is different, even if the people have the same disorder. People with AS can want to make friends but have very poor social skills so they are clueless at how to do this, and often make many mistakes.

Hmmmmmmm. As you know, I've been thinking about myself a lot lately (along the same lines as Geno). I think I'm probably not AS/-pergers, just BAP, but still. I just noticed that I was feeling the textures on the end of the tv remote with my lips 30 minutes while watching the Sopranos (I don't know why I watch that show, I never have any idea what's going on! It's probably just the accents but I can never follow gangster movies/tv shows).

What is the meaning of the social reciprocity criterion? I understand the concept of sharing and tit for tat, but am almost never motivated to ask people how their lives are going during a conversation. Usually they ask me, I ramble a bit, and then the conversation ends. When I do remember to ask them, I find it difficult to feign interest in the answer (unless it truly is interesting!)

Self-diagnosing AS seems pretty much impossible to do reliably. Also, I think it's even harder to do with adults because they may have learned some of the social skills they lacked as children. Looking back to myself as a kid, well, I remember feeling like a total outsider. Everyone thought I was a complete geek/nerd of the worst sort. But I don't remember THAT well exactly how I thought/behaved - it's too long ago - and we can't thoroughly assess 1990s-Assumption without a time machine :)

OK ramble over.

fracturedstory
08-28-12, 05:56 AM
How often do you think in words? Almost never? Rarely?

My mind is very visual at times, I'll oftentimes imagine my future(or sometimes past) as if it were a movie in my head, playing scenes more dramatically or doing things I'd never actually do, played in a way that makes me look like the hero every time. If I was thinking about the past I'd think about what it would have been like if the situation went perfectly(not in a depressive, ruminating way), if I'm thinking about the future I'll imagine it going perfectly. I'll also sometimes imagine myself in a completely ridiculous situation that'd never happen even in a perfect world. Thank God for being able to do that, the above was what I did in school to fight off the urges to jump out a window and run anywhere else but there.

I'm not sure if anyone could do the above or if it's "abnormal". People always say I'm great at painting out scenes and pictures with words.
I think in words with sounds, voices to be more precise. I have an uncanny ability to remember a person's accent exactly as I heard it in my mind, which is why when I read or write I can sometimes hear the voice of Stephen Fry. Not just him though. The first chapter of my book was written in a Colin Baker dialect. It's a bit annoying at times. I want the whole text of the book to flow together.

I don't normally see words written in my mind like someone with AS was explaining to me one time. The most I do is see a word with colours going through it. The colours my mind sees when it think of a word.

Like (yellow) for (shades of green) example (yellow/orange/brown).

I'm an action hero in my mind. Sometimes I think about things going the worst possible way so that it couldn't happen in real life. OK, that doesn't always work out. One of these actually turned out just like I saw in my mind, with less blood.
Being visual does help being a writer and artist, except you want a perfect replication of what you saw in your mind. I actually had to learn to write like a verbal thinker because I just couldn't write down the detail because I thought everyone could see what I saw. I still think they can hear the voices I hear when they read one of my blogs or a chapter I've been working on.
My only way of falling asleep at night is to see a story in my mind. The more repetitive the better.

fracturedstory
08-28-12, 06:11 AM
Hmmmmmmm. As you know, I've been thinking about myself a lot lately (along the same lines as Geno). I think I'm probably not AS/-pergers, just BAP, but still. I just noticed that I was feeling the textures on the end of the tv remote with my lips 30 minutes while watching the Sopranos (I don't know why I watch that show, I never have any idea what's going on! It's probably just the accents but I can never follow gangster movies/tv shows).

What is the meaning of the social reciprocity criterion? I understand the concept of sharing and tit for tat, but am almost never motivated to ask people how their lives are going during a conversation. Usually they ask me, I ramble a bit, and then the conversation ends. When I do remember to ask them, I find it difficult to feign interest in the answer (unless it truly is interesting!)

Self-diagnosing AS seems pretty much impossible to do reliably. Also, I think it's even harder to do with adults because they may have learned some of the social skills they lacked as children. Looking back to myself as a kid, well, I remember feeling like a total outsider. Everyone thought I was a complete geek/nerd of the worst sort. But I don't remember THAT well exactly how I thought/behaved - it's too long ago - and we can't thoroughly assess 1990s-Assumption without a time machine :)

OK ramble over.

Hmm, I'm not real sure. Are you capable of talking about things besides your interests? The lack of motivation could be anything. I mean I need a single dose of Ritalin at times to even reply to a person. I'm a lot better now because I've been on it for so long but before there were no thoughts while I was around people, besides that brief social anxiety stint.
With AS it's not that you don't want to talk but have difficulty. You can't relate to the other person. When you do talk it's one sided, monologuing and not even looking for replies unless you asked a direct question. Two-way chat is still hard for me. It's like reading lines from a script.

One thing I've been thinking of recently was a time when a more socially aware person with AS said people can adjust their personality to different situations. I've never been able to do that, and when I can it's completely involuntary and it's not done in a constructive or conscience way. I put on accents of my favourite actors as the characters they play and it really does not fit into the social situation. And most times I'm quoting them in full character. Mannerisms an all. We could be sitting down for lunch and suddenly I start putting on a perfect imitation of Tom Baker as the Doctor. And I'm probably wearing the scarf. And I'm just responding normally to the conversation (although trying to skew closer towards something about physics) but as Tom Baker.

Geno
08-28-12, 06:13 AM
I also have what you could consider "meltdowns". I'll remain calm until someone or something pushes me over a certain point(which no one ever does except sometimes my girlfriend or some relatives) of anger and then I lose it and either...
A. If alone and the situation makes me feel bad, start bawling uncontrollably for a while.
B. If another person is at fault, I'll usually start yelling at them shouting very hurtful, low blow, even evil things I don't mean. (Example? "I hope you ****ing die", etc.) In only two extreme cases did I get violent. Luckily these people know I don't really mean it when I do say stuff like that.
I'm curious, how are autistic meltdowns different from this? (I honestly don't know.)

I'm the same way as you with doing accents. I've amazed people with my perfect and realistic British, Southern US, Irish, Italian, Mexican Spanish, Indian, South African, French, German, Russian, and Scottish accents.

daveddd
08-28-12, 06:19 AM
I'm diagnosed with severe combined type ADHD, which my pdoc says is "one of the most extreme I've seen in all my years". After looking up Asperger's syndrome in the DSM, I seem to just barely make the minimum requirements for a diagnosis. (I have all of the symptoms of ADHD in the DSM, though) Is it possible to have both? Many of the AS qualities I have could be attributed to ADHD as well, but one or two can't.

Problem is, I've heard people with AS usually have little to no desire for a lot of friends and generally don't like people very much other than their parents, they're unable to see when people are getting upset/annoyed, they lack compassion, they're very out of touch with their feelings, and they make decisions solely based on logic without taking emotions in to account. Oh, and they strictly adhere to routines.

I love people, they just don't like me back most of the time, which ended in developing bad social anxiety. I push people's buttons sometimes because I'm an attention seeker, but I can clearly see that they are, in fact, annoyed by my behavior. I've always had intense interests, but I don't constantly discuss it with others constantly like many AS people do, unless they have an interest or semi-interest in it. I'm more compassionate than most people, I can't even watch gory things on TV because all it'll do is depress me because I can't help but put myself in their shoes. I have no problems detecting sarcasm either.

I'm more in touch with my emotions/sensitive than any guy I know, I prefer intimacy and romance(with a girl I actually like) over sex and, at 19 years old, know there's a massive difference between infatuation and love, and I would be totally fine with getting married right now and staying with the same girl forever. (provided I actually did love her.). I cry a LOT, because when no one is around I make no effort to hold back because crying actually DOES make me feel better after.

I do use logic far more than most people, but I don't ONLY use logic. I take feelings in to account too.

I don't know if this has to do with AS or just more severe forms of autism, but I had no developmental delays and actually learned to do things earlier than most kids, except for of course ADHD related stuff. And finally, I don't only not follow routines, but I dislike them and prefer to just do things whenever I want to/whenever they need to be done without an exact time.

The asperger's traits I DO have? (I'll put a ** next to the ones that I don't think are associated with ADHD) I sometimes stare at people without noticing I'm staring(although I'm not actually focused on them, just zoned out.), I interrupt people a LOT, I often forget to make eye contact although I'm getting better at it**, I think visually a lot, significantly more than most NT people do, but not to the extent many people with AS I've seen and I think in words often to*, I disliked people around my own age until I was a teenager, because no one could hold an interesting conversation. As a result I'd get along better with adults/older from when I was 5 to even now(although this may just be attributed to my IQ being 135.). If something is going to happen that effects me, I go crazy unless I have at least a rough estimate as to when, "soon" is never good enough**, I have an incredibly strong interest in pharmacology and have spent hundreds if not thousands of hours reading books and reading articles about it(although I don't discuss it endlessly with people unless they show an interest).** Oh, one more. I'm an inflexible thinker according to most people, but I don't think that's true because almost all of my views are based on logic.**(This doesn't contradict the above, my decisions are based on emotions and logic. I'm referring to things like: I believe war is pointless unless somebody invades your country because all it does is kill people and drain money from the economy, and I'm agonistic rather than religious or atheist because no point of view has provided proof.)

The fact I can very easily put myself in other people's shoes and am as in touch with my emotions as I am would make me discount AS as a possibility instantly, if it weren't for the ** symptoms up there. Could those things be either:
A. lesser known ADHD symptoms too
B. a coincidence
C. I have a case of Severe ADHD with very mild aspergers?

What ADHD symptoms typically wouldn't be found in Asperger's? Which Asperger's symptoms typically wouldn't be found in ADHD?

adhd with social anxiety can resemble aspergers

do you forget to make eye contact or is it anxiety provoking?

i am also a concrete thinker, that can be adhd, depression, or a personality trait of an intelligent person

daveddd
08-28-12, 06:20 AM
is your panic disorder sensory related?

Geno
08-28-12, 06:21 AM
is your panic disorder sensory related?

1. Eye contact is not anxiety provoking during conversation.

2. No, my panic attacks are mostly for no reason or for little reason.

daveddd
08-28-12, 06:25 AM
1. Eye contact is not anxiety provoking during conversation.

2. No, my panic attacks are mostly for no reason or for little reason.

sounds like adhd, but who knows

more and more distinct subgroups of adhd, autism , aspergers and PDDs are popping up everyday

Assumption
08-28-12, 06:36 AM
Are you capable of talking about things besides your interests? Yes, I'm capable of doing it. I just find it hard, sometimes. I'll get an urge to talk about it and will divert the conversation towards that topic.

I mean I need a single dose of Ritalin at times to even reply to a person. I definitely haven't had that (though sometimes I don't "get round" to responding to what people say... I hear it, take it in, but just don't get around to answering. I'd assumed that this was an inattentive thing.)

that brief social anxiety stint. It's entirely possible I have social anxiety (and maybe this is the source of my "wrong planet" feelings). I do tend to whisper to strangers in hallways. Haha.

With AS it's not that you don't want to talk but have difficulty. You can't relate to the other person. When you do talk it's one sided, monologuing and not even looking for replies unless you asked a direct question. Two-way chat is still hard for me. It's like reading lines from a script. I find it hard to relate, at least to some extent. I generally have an idea what the social rules are that people are following (but sometimes get that wrong) but often I just disagree with the rules - for instance, because they're arbitrary fashions rather than actual ethical prescriptions for behaviour.

Example from a couple of weeks ago: I was looking at participants' data (anonymous) and noticed that one participant mentioned her cycle was 44 days long. To my office dates I said "WOW! 44 days! That's much longer than average!" They both found it really offensive - the guy (half jokingly, I suspect) said "I hate you so much right now" and said that I may as well have been saying "Centipedes never have 100 legs!" and that I was "dehumanizing" the participant. I still don't get it. The participant wasn't in the room. Her identity was protected by a veil of anonymity. And 44 days is a big number!! I had no idea that there was that much variance in such things. Seriously, that's like 150% of the average.

One thing I've been thinking of recently was a time when a more socially aware person with AS said people can adjust their personality to different situations. I've never been able to do that, and when I can it's completely involuntary and it's not done in a constructive or conscience way. This is called "self monitoring". It's a personality dimension on which people differ. I am pretty sure I'm an extremely low self-monitor. I strongly dislike lying, or misleading people in any way. I can't act at all. I don't think I'm very good at "social smiles" (I suspect that they generally come across as a kind of grimace) and I'm not at all photogenic. I'll generally tell people what I really think, even if it hurts me to do so. For example, I completely botched a job interview a few years ago because I went into a LOT of detail explaining to the potential employer that I wanted flexible hours, and that my previous employer had arbitrarily changed my hours on me and that I didn't like that. Guess what? I didn't get the job. :P

Assumption
08-28-12, 06:49 AM
"meltdowns".

I've been wondering about meltdowns too. And seeing as FracturedStory is being so helpful I thought I'd pitch in and add a few thoughts of my own.

So, I've always been prone to "temper tantrums". I'm not sure if they're just tantrums/angry outbursts or meltdowns. I've noticed recently that sometimes I start feeling angry without realizing it. My wife can actually detect it before I start to feel it, actually. She'll say "what's wrong" and I'll reply "Nothing. I'm fine". Often, the first hint that I'm heading towards bad-moods-ville is that I find myself cautioning myself in my head: "Sylvie's husband, be understanding/supportive towards Sylvie. She needs your support. Don't get frustrated." It's weird when the thought pops into my head, because I don't yet FEEL frustrated. It's like there's a nonconscious part of me that has registered frustration, but I'm completely oblivious to it (possible Alexithymia??) But I've learned that generally, those kinds of thoughts are an early warning sign - some time over the next few hours I'm likely to completely lose my cool, potentially over something quite little, and turn it into a huge, unnecessary argument. And often, after I get started, I find it difficult to calm down again.

Sometimes the bad mood actually lasts until I go to bed.

I'm not sure if they're due to a sensory overload, to be honest. Fractured, I actually posted something about this itchy thing I get in the sensory forum if you feel like taking a look. :D It's good to get advice from someone knowledgeable. I'm not sure if the itchiness thing is psychogenic, but I do know that when I'm having an "attack," I'm super emotional, cannot deal with people talking to me, want to be left alone, and about the only thing that ever helps me get through it is to hyperfocus on a hobby (and even that is of only limited help).

rockydaydreamer
08-28-12, 07:12 AM
I've been wondering if I have aspergers too, but I've been in denial, mostly blaming my problems on ADHD and possible social anxiety.

For example, if we look at the DSM, the first section covers issues with non-verbal gestures, peer relationships, sharing enjoyment, and reciprocity. I don't have much of an issue with non-verbals, but I wouldn't say I'm perfect at expressing myself. However, having peer relationships is hard when people in my developmental level generally don't seem to like me. I don't share enjoyment with others because it seems pointless. I sometimes seem to lack social or emotional reciprocity, but it's not because I lack the ability to read social cues or emotions. My problem is that I get easily distracted in my own little world. So far I only seem to have two things mentioned in the first section of the DSM for Aspergers (I would only need two in that section anyway).

The second section of the DSM deals with routines and rituals. I seem have a preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest. However, I don't follow very strict routine or rituals. I'm not aware of doing any repetitive movements that couldn't be ruled out as simply fidgeting. I may have mild echolalia/echopraxia, but it's not something so bad that anyone has really noticed. I don't usually focus on detail (although ADHD meds seem to make that happen). So I only have one or two things I could say I have in section two of this dsm.

Section III has to do with having difficulty functioning in society or at work. I don't work and I'm socially inept. Section IV says there's no significant delay in language. I couldn't talk until age 2 and a half, so I could be more HFA. Section V says there's no significant delay in cognitive development or adaptive behavior. I don't have delays in those areas. Section VI says criteria isn't met for another pervasive developmental disorder or schizophrenia. It's possible I'm a highly functioning autistic and I definitely don't have schizophrenia.

hanikamiya
08-28-12, 07:14 AM
I think that the main problem with eye contact is that we have five ways of communicating:
-> verbally with the content of our voice
-> with the inflection of our voice
-> with our body language
-> with our facial expressions
-> with our involuntary expressions, especially eye expressions

Now, the content of words is easily controlled, and you can lie most easily with words alone. Voice, body language and facial expressions can be controlled to a certain degree, but that costs a lot of working memory.
Involuntary expressions do show a bit in voice, body and the general face, but they dominate the expression around the eyes.
You can't hide it when your pupil dilates, and it's terribly hard to control all those tiny movements your eye and the skin around your eye makes.

The information conveyed with the human eye is very detailed, and because it's more involuntary than other communication lines, it means that it also is more often different from everything else the other person is trying to convey.

If you have problems with working memory and/or sensory filters, having to make sense of a person saying one thing and their eyes saying something completely different is difficult.
NTs can either usually process both, and figure out they person is hiding something/lying, or they can suppress one channel of communication based on what they want to believe. Non-NTs may have problems with either one or both.

It gets somewhat better with training, when you can observe people, make assumptions about what they want to do, and then observe what they do next to prove your assumption right/wrong.
It gets worse with anxiety because anxiety blocks "extensive" sensory processing. And that bit already isn't working well in people with ADHD.


And that is unpleasant. So, I for one avoid eye contact. I know I'm supposed to make eye contact but I don't feel any desire to unless I really like a person and am fascinated by their entire expression (it could be a crush or it could be me wishing to be able to paint beauty, or both), or I feel completely safe and relaxed around somebody. But even then it used to be only short and rare moments.

But that means I have little practice understanding eye contact, which means I'm bad at it, which means I avoid it even more. Now, thanks to my job I see several hundreds of faces every single day, see those people interacting, have to interact with them, and when there's nothing to do for a moment I don't have anything else to relieve my boredom than watching other people interacting.
I've become much better at reading people's faces and their eyes, and I find it easier to make eye contact now. Until I'm exhausted, that is.

Assumption
08-28-12, 07:30 AM
Actually, I was quite sure that the voice is the "leakiest" channel of communication...

It's not my area of expertise though. But I just checked and my old social psyc textbook agrees. Perhaps there's been more recent research done since the research cited in there, though?

Geno
08-28-12, 07:31 AM
I've been wondering about meltdowns too. And seeing as FracturedStory is being so helpful I thought I'd pitch in and add a few thoughts of my own.

So, I've always been prone to "temper tantrums". I'm not sure if they're just tantrums/angry outbursts or meltdowns. I've noticed recently that sometimes I start feeling angry without realizing it. My wife can actually detect it before I start to feel it, actually. She'll say "what's wrong" and I'll reply "Nothing. I'm fine". Often, the first hint that I'm heading towards bad-moods-ville is that I find myself cautioning myself in my head: "Sylvie's husband, be understanding/supportive towards Sylvie. She needs your support. Don't get frustrated." It's weird when the thought pops into my head, because I don't yet FEEL frustrated. It's like there's a nonconscious part of me that has registered frustration, but I'm completely oblivious to it (possible Alexithymia??) But I've learned that generally, those kinds of thoughts are an early warning sign - some time over the next few hours I'm likely to completely lose my cool, potentially over something quite little, and turn it into a huge, unnecessary argument. And often, after I get started, I find it difficult to calm down again.

Sometimes the bad mood actually lasts until I go to bed.

I'm not sure if they're due to a sensory overload, to be honest. Fractured, I actually posted something about this itchy thing I get in the sensory forum if you feel like taking a look. :D It's good to get advice from someone knowledgeable. I'm not sure if the itchiness thing is psychogenic, but I do know that when I'm having an "attack," I'm super emotional, cannot deal with people talking to me, want to be left alone, and about the only thing that ever helps me get through it is to hyperfocus on a hobby (and even that is of only limited help).

Sounds kind of like me. I won't notice how ****** off I'm getting until I get pushed over the edge, then suddenly I essentially beat the **** out of the person verbally in a short time, then I'll always feel incredibly bad for what I said and apologize profusely. Sometimes I'll say things I do mean but would never say, sometimes it's more extreme and I'll say things I don't mean just because I want revenge. But I almost always feel bad after unless the person truly, truly deserved it, which is rare. But when they do, I'll feel GOOD AS HELL after.

I also had echolalia as a child, but only when I whispered it, and only did it knew no one was in earshot. It got less frequent with age, and completely stopped by puberty.

OH! Another possibly AS-related thing I have is, I can't understand people for **** if in a room with lots of noise sometimes. (Such as the school cafeteria, a school bus, loud music playing.) I'll say "what?" and they'll need to repeat themselves a few times unless they're speaking at a high volume. Otherwise the noise of the person speaking just blends in with the background. This isn't really bad if I'm having a conversation with someone, but if someone comes up to me in a place like this and asks me a question randomly, I'll say "what did you say?" 3-4 times before I hear you.

example:
Person at party with music(how i hear it): mmm mmmrmmm m?
Me: What?
Person: MMMM MMM MMMRMMM IS?
Me: I'm sorry, I can't hear you, talk louder. What?
Person: DO. MMM. KNOW. MMMM. THE. MMMMMRM. IS?
Me: Do I know where what is?
Person: ARE YOU ****ING DEAF? I SAID, *leans close to my ear* DOOOO. YOOOOU. KNOWWWW. WHEREEE. THEEEE. BATHROOM. IS?
Me: Oh, it's over there. *points*

hanikamiya
08-28-12, 08:49 AM
Actually, I was quite sure that the voice is the "leakiest" channel of communication...

It's not my area of expertise though. But I just checked and my old social psyc textbook agrees. Perhaps there's been more recent research done since the research cited in there, though?
Afaik, just as body language and facial expressions are, it's leaky, but it can be trained to become more convincing when you lie.
Which is why actors and politicians get voice training.

Those movements around the eye are much harder to control/train away.

And, what's more important for us is that we can look away from people's eyes, but can't listen away from their voices.

fracturedstory
08-28-12, 08:49 AM
*Breathes in and out*

A tantrum is where you make a fuss over not getting your own way. A meltdown is when you explode because you can no longer control your emotions.

People with autism have low frustration tolerance, much like in ADHD due to a dysfunctional limbic system, and probably other areas that deal with emotion.

People with autism have severe sensory issues, different processing of stimuli (all at once), and lack the right words when they get stressed out plus having such intense uncontrollable emotions leads to the screaming, kicking, punching meltdown.

I actually had a 2 hour long meltdown when I was in so much physical pain that wouldn't end I just wanted it over. A meltdown doesn't usually last me 10 minutes so this was something different. I kind of got a taste of the severe side. You're in so much anguish and you can't see an end. People with autism also have a longer sensory memory than usual so all these uncomfortable sometimes painful senses linger with them.

When people have a meltdown due to being put over the edge it's not as common as it is in autism because it doesn't take long for them to break. It depends how rigid their behaviour is and whether they try to hold the meltdowns off but they can explode suddenly or it takes a lot of things stressing them out until they can no longer hold together.

I may be out of commission tomorrow or at least absorbed in my projects, or the new Stargate app. So I may not get on til late tomorrow.

daveddd
08-28-12, 10:45 AM
I get really anxious during eye contact and have to look away


It's due more to social anxiety and hyper arousal than a disinterest in people


Or reading facial expressions

Geno
08-28-12, 12:53 PM
I get really anxious during eye contact and have to look away


It's due more to social anxiety and hyper arousal than a disinterest in people


Or reading facial expressions

Sounds more like asperger's than ADHD as not all AS people have a disinterest in people, apparently. But I dunno, do you obsess/fixate on only a small set of interests?

daveddd
08-28-12, 01:10 PM
The gaze aversion caused by anxiety and hyper arousal of the amygdala


Is not actually part of autism


It is mainly found in a subset of ADHD patients with social anxiety


About 10 percent have a comorbid autism disorder. I don't though

Conman
08-28-12, 01:16 PM
yeah it's possible. at least i think it is if my horrible memory serves

i can understand the desire for friends. i have many friends, but not many are people who are 'true' friends, which i see as people who do like hanging out with me and will make plans with me to do so. most of the time people never seem to want to get me there although they enjoy my company.

gory movies and horror movies do not bother me unless it's spiders/bugs, final destination, or so over the top gory bloody nonsense that it actually is disturbing.

i can somewhat agree with the intimacy romance part, but my sex drive is too high for me to get there right now. not that it interferes, but i think id rather lose virginity first, but if it's due to a relationship then im fine with that.

i learned things later than kids, and some things ive actually learned just this past summer through now and ill still be learning stuff i shouldve already in my future years of college i know.

i have a problem with interrupting but im getting better at it, i also sometimes avoid eye contact if im kinda one on one with somebody, especially if it's a girl. if im in a group it's easier to keep eye contact. my mom refers to me as "Conman: adults love him, kids dont know what to do with him." but im fine with kids as of senior year highschool.

you ever read the book "Look Me In The Eye" by John Elder Robison? when i read it for a school book report project i was a little disturbed by some similarities i had with him.

my doctor describes my mental/neuro state as being ADHD-C with Autistic Tendencies. it's possible you may be like that too (with the exception that i dont know what kind of ADHD you have)

oh yeah, as a littlun i apparently had some kind of Anxiety Disorder. not sure if that was a misdiagnosis or if it's something that i somehow grew out of, i dont remember childhood much but i think i was a bit emotional for a little kid.

ana futura
08-28-12, 01:20 PM
I often wonder if I might also have ASD, mostly because I have a lot of sensory issues, and I am a super nerd about a few select things. Also my response to stimulants seems consistent with ASD- I do best with very small doses and stims always make me very self aware.

However, when I think about the things in my life that really impact me, they're all related to ADHD. The sensory stuff is annoying, but I can solve the worst of it by leaving the room while my partner is eating. My misophonia makes me jerk at the dinner table.

Some environments annoy me initially, but I usually acclimate quickly if I decide that I want to.

Socially I'm okay, I stick my foot in my mouth and do the ADHD thing a lot, but people tend to like me. I've worked in customer service jobs, and I do well with the majority of people. Fortune posted a facial expression quiz a while back, I pretty much aced it.

While it's possible that I might be autistic, I can't think of any of the symptoms that are exclusive to ASD as being a "disorder" for me. My ADHD is clearly a disorder.

Although my nerd brain would LOVE to know whether or not I'm on the spectrum, in the end it doesn't matter. I know I have ADHD, and treating that is where I need to focus my attention.

Geno
08-28-12, 01:22 PM
yeah it's possible. at least i think it is if my horrible memory serves

i can understand the desire for friends. i have many friends, but not many are people who are 'true' friends, which i see as people who do like hanging out with me and will make plans with me to do so. most of the time people never seem to want to get me there although they enjoy my company.

gory movies and horror movies do not bother me unless it's spiders/bugs, final destination, or so over the top gory bloody nonsense that it actually is disturbing.

i can somewhat agree with the intimacy romance part, but my sex drive is too high for me to get there right now. not that it interferes, but i think id rather lose virginity first, but if it's due to a relationship then im fine with that.

i learned things later than kids, and some things ive actually learned just this past summer through now and ill still be learning stuff i shouldve already in my future years of college i know.

i have a problem with interrupting but im getting better at it, i also sometimes avoid eye contact if im kinda one on one with somebody, especially if it's a girl. if im in a group it's easier to keep eye contact. my mom refers to me as "Conman: adults love him, kids dont know what to do with him." but im fine with kids as of senior year highschool.

you ever read the book "Look Me In The Eye" by John Elder Robison? when i read it for a school book report project i was a little disturbed by some similarities i had with him.

my doctor describes my mental/neuro state as being ADHD-C with Autistic Tendencies. it's possible you may be like that too (with the exception that i dont know what kind of ADHD you have)

oh yeah, as a littlun i apparently had some kind of Anxiety Disorder. not sure if that was a misdiagnosis or if it's something that i somehow grew out of, i dont remember childhood much but i think i was a bit emotional for a little kid.

I have ADHD-C as well. I'm almost sure that ADHD is distantly related to autism in a way, not in the sense it's the next level lower on the autism spectrum than AS, but more related in a way that ritalin is related to cocaine. (both are DNRIs, both have a similar molecular structure, but from the outside no one would guess you're giving your ADHD children cocaine analogs!)

Conman
08-28-12, 01:25 PM
well they're both 2 people in the same group of Developmental Disorders (albeit Autism is classified as Neurodevelopmental Disorder, i think an argument could be made about AD/HD being Neurodevelopmental as well.)

Mescaline and Amphetamine have very similar structures. we still dont quite understand how Mescaline is a hallucinogen despite being amphetamine (stimulant) in structure compared to other hallucinogens like LSD, DMT, Psilocybin, Salvia, etc.

ana futura
08-28-12, 01:28 PM
Ooh, I want to have Mescaline! That would be an awesome disorder :D

Geno
08-28-12, 01:33 PM
well they're both 2 people in the same group of Developmental Disorders (albeit Autism is classified as Neurodevelopmental Disorder, i think an argument could be made about AD/HD being Neurodevelopmental as well.)

Mescaline and Amphetamine have very similar structures. we still dont quite understand how Mescaline is a hallucinogen despite being amphetamine (stimulant) in structure compared to other hallucinogens like LSD, DMT, Psilocybin, Salvia, etc.

LSD and Amphetamine are related, all of the psychedelics and neurotransmitter releasers (stims) can be grouped in to the same category, copies of natural neurotransmitters. The psychedelics (not salvia though, that's totally different) are all mediated by the same mechanism, 5-HT2a receptor activation(LSD, DMT, shrooms, mescaline). They all activate it at different stregnths and at different legnths of time though, and DMT has other mechanisms at work too. in addition to the fact they all are all stimulating (especially mescaline) to some people due to their similarity to stimulants. MDMA(Which stands for methylenedioxymethamphetamine) is a middleground between the psychedelic and stimulatory amphetamine-like drugs, being both a 5-HT2a agonist weakly and a strong releaser of dopamine/serotonin.

Salvia is a k-opioid (opium and opiates activate the mu-opioid receptor, don't get confused) receptor activator, and it's function when activated is to cause panic/dysphoria and some hallucinations, and it's also a d2 activator. Psychosis is caused by d2 overactivation so I'll let you piece that one together.

Conman
08-28-12, 09:33 PM
well you know much more about the pharmacology than i do. i wont argue with ye. i just know basics about most drugs, how some act, and how they work and get into your system. i dont know all the letter-number names and actions as like you. i have heard of k-opioid receptor though.

fracturedstory
08-29-12, 01:20 AM
The gaze aversion caused by anxiety and hyper arousal of the amygdala


Is not actually part of autism


It is mainly found in a subset of ADHD patients with social anxiety


About 10 percent have a comorbid autism disorder. I don't though
I don't make eye contact because 1)It's not something I would naturally do. 2)I can't follow clearly and can't explain things clearly. 3)The face is a chaotic place. 4)I'm more interested in what people are wearing and how they get their hair to go that way.

ADHD is my co-morbid disorder.

If it wasn't for my delays, my narrow interests, my repetitive behaviour and my absolute deer-staring-in-headlights reaction when I'm mean to do something out of my routines I'd probably not need to be diagnosed with autism.
But those things are very pronounced. In the right environment autism symptoms take over and lack of focus and distractions are the least of my concerns. It's just 'CHANGE BAD! IT'S TOO LOUD! SHUT UP I HATE YOUR NT FACE! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! I'M ALWAYS RIGHT!'
However, I'm not very capable of verbalising my thoughts when I'm angry.

ana futura
08-29-12, 01:40 AM
Oh, one thing I do all the time- Switch chairs in public places, especially restaurants. If you've seen Sheldon on the big bang theory it's like that- I have to have the chair that's in the best position acoustically, hopefully not close to any speakers, and with my back to a wall. Sometimes I'll switch tables until I find the right one. And if anyone sits in front of me at the movies I have to get up and move.

I also will always request a table outside at restaurants, but then keep moving around so I can stay in the shade.

This seems like it could be either ASD or ADHD. I don't seem to do it so much on meds.

fracturedstory
08-29-12, 02:13 AM
I always sit in the same chair and if I don't feel really uncomfortable. In restaurants I want to be somewhere where the noise is low, the people are sparse and the light is low too. There's this one cafe I go to that keeps giving me migraines.

Assumption
08-29-12, 02:47 AM
I don't like how I feel right now.

2 1/2 hours ago I discovered that my car, in the parking lot, had been broken into. Luckily the thieves failed to get past the immobilizer. But they've destroyed the ignition, and I had to get my car towed to a mechanic. And then had to bus home. I'm still on the bus, haven't eaten in about 9 hours, and am now another NZ$500 further into credit card debt.

How do I feel? I don't feel anything. It's weird. I know that I get really frustrated by this sort of thing, but I don't feel it at all. What's going on here?

Geno
08-29-12, 02:58 AM
I don't like how I feel right now.

2 1/2 hours ago I discovered that my car, in the parking lot, had been broken into. Luckily the thieves failed to get past the immobilizer. But they've destroyed the ignition, and I had to get my car towed to a mechanic. And then had to bus home. I'm still on the bus, haven't eaten in about 9 hours, and am now another NZ$500 further into credit card debt.

How do I feel? I don't feel anything. It's weird. I know that I get really frustrated by this sort of thing, but I don't feel it at all. What's going on here?

Hmm, well, when a lot of REALLY stressful things all happen in close succession, my MDD says "Oh hi, I'm back!" and it's, depending on the availability of anything that'll get me pleasantly high, either time to binge on whatever that is or it's time to go back to bed for a few weeks. Although I'm not quite sure if your case would be severe enough to trigger a full blown borderline-psychotic(not manic, just unresponsive to the outside world.) depressive episode like I had years ago, just enough to make me lose the will to do much other than sit in my bed and stare/sleep for a few days.

Assumption
08-29-12, 03:05 AM
I don't feel depressed, really. I just feel... Neutral. The tag on my pants is itchy and it's very annoying.

Geno
08-29-12, 03:07 AM
I don't feel depressed, really. I just feel... Neutral. The tag on my pants is itchy and it's very annoying.

So, indifference?

Assumption
08-29-12, 03:11 AM
Yeah, that's what I feel like, affect-wise. But cognitively, I'm displeased. I'm wondering if I'm frustrated but just don't feel it?

fracturedstory
08-29-12, 04:48 AM
I don't like how I feel right now.

2 1/2 hours ago I discovered that my car, in the parking lot, had been broken into. Luckily the thieves failed to get past the immobilizer. But they've destroyed the ignition, and I had to get my car towed to a mechanic. And then had to bus home. I'm still on the bus, haven't eaten in about 9 hours, and am now another NZ$500 further into credit card debt.

How do I feel? I don't feel anything. It's weird. I know that I get really frustrated by this sort of thing, but I don't feel it at all. What's going on here?
I get like that too from stress. My emotions just turn off and I just keep going until I can escape to the comfort and familiarity of my home.
Part 1 of it is something I call 'survival mode' but I'm either that agitated type of motivated or just trying to push emotions back while I try to get out of that situation. Or I'm just completely disconnected and robotic-like. I'll call this a partial shutdown.
Part 2 is the complete shutdown. I arrive home and just stop. Don't move, don't think, lose the ability to verbalise thoughts.

A coping mechanism to stress maybe? The brain just shuts down all emotion so you can just deal with the situation in front of you.

I just realised 'survival mode' is a level on Stargate golf. I've been using that term for years. Sorry, I'm kind of distracted by games tonight.

Oh and sorry, I should say I'm sorry for your situation. My bank just sucked up $76.90 from my account into the void and I thought it happened again. It could have happened to the $500 I spent on my iPad 3. All it takes is a little bit of lack of focus on my part.
I hate days when everything seems to go wrong. Tonight while making dinner I was trying to come up with logical way to explain it to myself. Even having a bad day needs a scientific explanation.

Assumption
08-29-12, 05:05 AM
I get like that too from stress. My emotions just turn off and I just keep going until I can escape to the comfort and familiarity of my home.
Part 1 of it is something I call 'survival mode' but I'm either that agitated type of motivated or just trying to push emotions back while I try to get out of that situation. Or I'm just completely disconnected and robotic-like. I'll call this a partial shutdown.
Part 2 is the complete shutdown. I arrive home and just stop. Don't move, don't think, lose the ability to verbalise thoughts. That sounds about right. I actually felt like going to sleep when I got home. Managed to have dinner and watch an hour of the Sopranos with Sylvie but still tired. I'm not usually tired at 9pm...

It could have happened to the $500 I spent on my iPad 3. All it takes is a little bit of lack of focus on my part. Agh, yeah. I was thinking before, those $500 could have gone towards that windows 8 tablet that I'm going to buy sooner or later to replace the macbook pro that's dying a slow death (a death accelerated by my frustrated breaking of the trackpad). Later is looking more likely now, it seems.

I hate days when everything seems to go wrong. Tonight while making dinner I was trying to come up with logical way to explain it to myself. Even having a bad day needs a scientific explanation. I tried to come up with a candidate explanation, but drew a blank. The closest I came was imagining throwing deer randomly into a paddock (Poisson distribution). And that's almost completely unrelated to task at hand. Sorry! :(

ana futura
08-29-12, 01:22 PM
I always sit in the same chair and if I don't feel really uncomfortable. In restaurants I want to be somewhere where the noise is low, the people are sparse and the light is low too. There's this one cafe I go to that keeps giving me migraines.

I'm very sensitive to noise, but I actually prefer well lit spaces. I don't like florescent lights though, those drive me nuts. I also don't care how many people are in a space, as long as they aren't noisy.

Assumption
08-29-12, 02:47 PM
Well that sleep did me a world of good.

I'm not sure where I stand regarding sound. I think I like some loud noises. When I was walking home last night a train went past me. It was kind of exhilarating, if anything. I like the feeling of being immersed in noise, but not really the sounds of crowds. Interesting, novel noises like a train going by, though...

I also tend to prefer bright light.

fracturedstory
09-01-12, 03:34 AM
I must medicate myself to tolerate noise, separate it and be able to hear more than ERRRRRRRRRRRNNNHHH. Even a cafe sounds like that. Well it's more like a AAAJJJJAAAJAJAAJAJAJAAAJAJAJA - that's every person talking at once.

No one seems to understand how crippling it is for me. I didn't go to this concert because all my stress combined with illness plus the usual hating crowds and needing to be aware that the noise will either send me into a Super Saiyan rage or completely shut me down. Either way by the end of the concert I'd rather be dead. Last time I left that venue I felt such things.
Now my friend is angry at me for not going to the concert. She thinks it was easy to get to because by car it might be 15-20 minutes away. There was no car available. I am scared of the outside world especially at night.

Very rarely sensory overload can feel like a good high, 98% of the time it's a bad high though.