View Full Version : Women with ADD and The best of intentions ....


aneededchange
12-17-04, 12:01 AM
Well, I think it is time for me to get my 'stuff' together at home. I am tired living in a place that I hate being in - due to the fact that it is absolute squalor. ((My opinion mind you))

My fiance and I live together - both of us have ADD. I think he is worse about cleaning up after himself than I am, which is not saying much. I tried, in the beginning, to keep things clean - but he just kept on messing things up. So I got fed up. I quit caring.

I can't have ANYONE in my home, I am so embarrassed/ashamed of my living space. I refused (recently) to let my soon-to-be sister in-law in to use the restroom. I told her of a nice stop-n-go around the corner she could visit.

So, I have decided to do something about it. I am now making a list of things I need to do this weekend ... breaking it down by day - listing the steps that I need to accomplish. I hope by posting them here - I will actually get it done.

((list in next post - if it will let me)).

aneededchange
12-17-04, 12:06 AM
Here goes:
Friday

Clean bathroom: Wash tub, Clean grout, Wash/clean shower curtain, Sweep floor, Mop floor, Wash rug
Kitchen: Wash dishes, Clean counters, Put things away, Clean out frig, Clean frig, Sweep floor, Spot clean floor (was mopped 2 days ago)

Saturday
Dining/Office Space: Pick up trash, Remove any dishes/cups found, Clean/dust book shelf, Tidy bookshelf, Put books in order/return books to shelf, Reclaim desk, Sort through papers on desk into TRASH or KEEP piles ((Discard TRASH pile/Place KEEP papers in their rightful places)), Place things that are needed, but not often used, in a marked box place in closet, Vacuum, Water plants, Clean up bay window

((IF TIME PERMITS clean up Vanity area))

__________________________________________________ ___

I will post Sunday's list when I figure it out ....

Best of luck to you all.
Happy holidays

Swamp Donkey
12-17-04, 12:14 AM
I'd say that your posting this publically is asking other Forum members for help so,
with (or without) your permission, I will post tomorrow, expecting to hear that you have stuck to your goals and, in a sense, holding you accountable. :)

Good luck.

Oh, what time are you going to start?
How long are you allowing to do this?
What steps do you need to take to accomplish this goal?

aneededchange
12-17-04, 12:46 AM
I'd say that your posting this publically is asking other Forum members for help so,
with (or without) your permission, I will post tomorrow, expecting to hear that you have stuck to your goals and, in a sense, holding you accountable. :)

Good luck.

Oh, what time are you going to start?
How long are you allowing to do this?
What steps do you need to take to accomplish this goal?
First off, let me thank you for reading my post.

Now on to answering your questions ....
I will have to start after 7:30 pm ((I work a very full day on friday)).
I plan on going to bed around 11:30 or midnight - as I normally do - so that gives me about 4 hours give or take.
I picked 'easy' areas on friday due to the time limits and figuring I was going to be a little tired.

Saturday - I have all day ... BUT I plan on waking up before 9am (my day to sleep in) and getting started shortly after. Even with minimal distractions, the office area will be (as I figure) and ALL DAY event - taking up the bulk of my day. So that is my goal - to get that area under control and organized. *if* I have time - then I will attack my vanity.

I have already done some 'small' stuff tonight, like I have already cleaned out my drains (I always declog them before i clean), and Have all my cleaning supplies in one area. I have layed out my clothes to clean in - so I don't have to look for them.

Did I answer everything? I think so ... let me know if I didn't.

Thanks again.

exeter
12-17-04, 01:59 AM
A couple of things here... first, I think this post might be better off in the peer coaching forum. After all, it isn't only ADD women who have to clean the house :) and I don't think you'd want to necessarily turn away suggestions from us lowly men who probably make up the majority of the forum, lol. :P (Seriously, some of the guys might not post just because it's in the "Women's forum".)

Second, I think you might be setting yourself up for too much, especially on Friday. I mean, dang, I spend 3 hours just cleaning my car sometimes, and that's a fraction the size of anybody's house.

Don't feel too awful if you don't finish everything in your allotted time. Make a note of it, and allocate your time beter next time. That could be either setting slightly lower expectations or improving your efficiency at the actual work.

I feel the same way about the place I live. It's a lot better than it used to be, before I started treatment, but I have a long ways to go. It's a priority but definitely not a top priority for me right now.

Nucking_Futs
12-17-04, 10:21 AM
aneededchange sweetie did you not say you were living with your boyfriend? If he shares the same space and messes the same space he needs to be held accountable for helping clean the same space. you are NOT supergirl nor should he expect you to be. what we have found very helpful in our household is monthly meetings were we write all the chores down that need done on a daily basis and a weekly basis, alternating days, we start with the youngest picking chores they don't mind doing, then it's our turn, we take turns so your gonna have to do something you don't like but most chores you won't mind doing. i'll give you the kitchen for instance.

Dishes...Monday...Doug...Tuesday...Cherity...etc.
Taking the trash out...Monday...Koda...Tuesday...Alexis...etc.
Wiping the countertops...Monday...Doug...Tuesday...Cherity... etc.
Setting and clearing the table...Monday...Koda...Tuesday...Lexi...etc.

Mind you that we have another 6 rooms in our house and multiple animals so it all comes out even in the end. We started this program after I ran myself ragged trying to clean house, take care of kids, work and be a good spouse. Have you tried sitting your SO down and calmly explaining that you can't live like this, that your ashamed of yourself and your surrounding, that you love him deeply and hope that he understands and is willing to help by at least picking up after himself. It's hard but once you train yourself it's not so overwhelming and it's better now before the two of you decide to have children and your jobs multiply. I know I sound harsh and judgemental and that is not my goal at all...because, I've been there myself and understand what your going thru, I'm hoping you'll take my post as a little hard earned wisdom from someone who has walked in your shoes.

Good luck and if your interested I can try and help you access a daily cleaning list.

gypsysway
12-17-04, 12:43 PM
I agree this N'Futs; You shouldn't have to be the only one doing all this, and it does help with the calander chore list. I find I clean better with a little buzz, I drink a few beers while I'm at it, I can just get into it a little more... :D good luck

exeter
12-17-04, 01:22 PM
My best friend says she cleans a lot better when she's on the phone. It's kind of a variation of getting someone to help, or the "body double" thing, where you get someone to kind of act as a cheerleader or just talk and keep your mind on task. Basically, for her (and me, too :P), it's that talking distracts us from having to think about what to do next, because we quickly get overwhelmed. I look at my place and don't even have a clue where to start most of the time, but I just start and keep going as long as possible, and it gets a little better.

Swamp Donkey
12-18-04, 11:31 PM
A professional logging safety instructor hammered home a lesson to me and my crew:
1. Identify the hazards
2. Develop a plan to eliminate the hazards that can be eliminated and control the rest.
3. Implement the plan.
4. Evaluate the results, and modify the plan as needed.

So, Your plan was to clean 2 areas of the house.
How'd it go?
What went well?
What went poorly?
What can be done to improve the results?

paulbf
12-18-04, 11:57 PM
And turn up the stereo to max volume.

...Daria
12-19-04, 06:43 AM
Wishing you the best of luck , I am still floating in that area myself. .. ooofff (lol)

aneededchange
12-19-04, 02:26 PM
aneededchange sweetie did you not say you were living with your boyfriend? If he shares the same space and messes the same space he needs to be held accountable for helping clean the same space. you are NOT supergirl nor should he expect you to be. what we have found very helpful in our household is monthly meetings were we write all the chores down that need done on a daily basis and a weekly basis, alternating days, we start with the youngest picking chores they don't mind doing, then it's our turn, we take turns so your gonna have to do something you don't like but most chores you won't mind doing. i'll give you the kitchen for instance.

Dishes...Monday...Doug...Tuesday...Cherity...etc.
Taking the trash out...Monday...Koda...Tuesday...Alexis...etc.
Wiping the countertops...Monday...Doug...Tuesday...Cherity... etc.
Setting and clearing the table...Monday...Koda...Tuesday...Lexi...etc.

Mind you that we have another 6 rooms in our house and multiple animals so it all comes out even in the end. We started this program after I ran myself ragged trying to clean house, take care of kids, work and be a good spouse. Have you tried sitting your SO down and calmly explaining that you can't live like this, that your ashamed of yourself and your surrounding, that you love him deeply and hope that he understands and is willing to help by at least picking up after himself. It's hard but once you train yourself it's not so overwhelming and it's better now before the two of you decide to have children and your jobs multiply. I know I sound harsh and judgemental and that is not my goal at all...because, I've been there myself and understand what your going thru, I'm hoping you'll take my post as a little hard earned wisdom from someone who has walked in your shoes.

Good luck and if your interested I can try and help you access a daily cleaning list.
N'Futs ...
I have a very loving Fiance, but he is worse about 'remembering' to do things than I am. I will take your recommandation about having a sit-down meeting with him and see what that will accomplish.

My life has taken a positive turn, so I anticipate good things in the near future. Thanks for sharing and I will keep everyone posted.

A professional logging safety instructor hammered home a lesson to me and my crew:
1. Identify the hazards
2. Develop a plan to eliminate the hazards that can be eliminated and control the rest.
3. Implement the plan.
4. Evaluate the results, and modify the plan as needed.

So, Your plan was to clean 2 areas of the house.
How'd it go?
What went well?
What went poorly?
What can be done to improve the results?
Well, honestly - it did not go well for one reason.
I got my results back from my test - and I PASSED. **beams** So I treated myself to a 'free' weekend. I *always* spend my weekends cleaning, so I figured that I deserved one full weekened of fun.
I do plan on starting my office area tomorrow, and give myself 3 after-work nights to get it done. ((The kitchen and bathroom I did clean as planned, but I will schedule a 5-10min cleaning session each night to maintain them - so I don't have to go all out on them next weekend))

Thanks to everyone for their advice and sharing with me.

I plan on keeping this thread active so that I am can keep a virtual log of my/our work. ((Anyone else is welcomed to do the same if they want to.))

Thanks again,
-Ane-

Swamp Donkey
12-19-04, 08:46 PM
The kitchen and bathroom I did clean as planned,

Outstanding!
Clap, clap, clap!!!!!!!!

Nucking_Futs
12-19-04, 09:54 PM
Ane if I have something that needs to be done...I always promise myself a treat whether it be lunch with the girls or a day without cleaning. Even adults need incentive.

Just remember your sit down chat does not by any means have to be a knock down drag out fight. We accomplished ours with very little blood shed lol.

Another thing I love is reading, I like the way stories can take me somewere else. A lot of times while cleaning I turn up the stereo and listen to books on tape (found at your local library) that way my mind is far far away.

Garry
12-19-04, 10:11 PM
Well I have to admit that I don't keep my house anywhere near a neat and tidy as my wife does and when I clean an area she ussually finds stuff that I missed.

Now when she is cleaning I stay well out of her way but close enough that she can give me explicit instructions on what she wants me to do.

Quite often all she wants if for me to stay out of her way, but to park my butt on the chair at my computer desk and be ready to jump when she calls.

I start off with good intentions to help her when she calls , but by the time she finally want me to do something Im ready for a nap as it is very exhasting sitting at my computer desk playing on my computer , anticipating every minute that I'm about to get called.

When she finnally does ask me to do something , I really don't want to but I force myself to do as she asks becuse she works very hard to keep the place clean and I enjoy the fruits of her labor.

Why she can't ask me at the first of the session when I'm full of energy , instead of 3 hours after , Ill never figure out.

Mine is not to QUESTION WHY
Mine is but
To Do
or
DIE

and trust me ladies , it really is her wish that I stay out of her way, or go do a section that is away from her...........

FightingBoredom
12-19-04, 10:12 PM
I've found an easier solution to the cleaning the house issue.

First, my feeling is that I don't live in a *******g hospital or clinic so the only things that should be clinically clean are eating areas and utensils as well as things like tooth brushes.
The rest of it should be "liveably" clean.
By that I mean, we live in the house so there will be clothes here and there, kids toys will be around and sometimes put away and sometimes they are underfoot.
Things get dusty and sometimes they get dusted, windows get dirty and sometimes they get cleaned....it works for us....

The point of my ramblings is that you don't need to stress out over cleaning your house. In the grand scheme of things it's a pretty low priority!

Stuck
12-20-04, 11:04 AM
Swamp Donkey:

"A professional logging safety instructor hammered home a lesson to me and my crew"...

Did I detect a pun here?;)

Nucking_Futs
12-20-04, 01:09 PM
Garry I can completly relate to your wife...I want Doug nearby if I need him but otherwise don't step in my way because on high OCD days I'm not going to stop I'll just keep walking until you have my foot prints all over. lol

luvmi3kids
12-20-04, 03:26 PM
I can safely say that I am not an expert in this field. My house looks like crap and makes me want to cry, and there are 5 people living there.


DH is not ADD but works nights, and feels that when he is home, he should use that time to relax and do what he wants to do. (lay on the couch or play on the computer.) He is very, very good at complainaing about the general state of the house and saying that "someone" needs to wash the dishes or mop the floors, yadda yadda.

I have found I have some sucsess by asking him point blank to help, and then giving him a specific job or room. I also make sure that while I am assigning him a task, I also take on a task myself. Example: "Honey, would you please pick up and sweep the living room while I clean that bathroom?" Like I said, doesn't always work, but it's that strategy for getting his help that works best. Crying also works well. LOL, JK

emwell
12-20-04, 06:01 PM
Awesome thread. I have been peeking in on it, but now it is time for my $.02.


aneededchange I was afraid that you had put too much on your plate and would be dissappointed if you didn't get it all done. I laughed with you when I read that you did passed your test and decided to give yourself a free weekend. That sounds so much like me. If I do dishes and laundry in the same day, I figure I get the 3 days off. Thank you for starting this thread. You have helped motivate me to do something with my pig sty. I made a very short list to start with. I know where the list is, but I can't remember what was on it.

Last Friday I did manage to clean. My husband was stuck on forced overtime. I figured if he was stuck working an extra 8 hours, I could do something with this house that he would appreciate. I managed to give him the dining room table back by throwing crap out and organizing. I also vaccuumed the living room and dining room. Not to mention still doing my regular chores (bringing wood in house, dishes,etc). This is progress as far as I am concerned.

I also agree that this thread would be awesome in other sections of the forum, but if it was somewhere else, I may not have found it. :D

Congratulations on your promotion Swamp Donkey. I was curious as to when our titles changed. I missed my promotion from junior member to member. :o I will be more aware next time.

I think I just might get of this paperweight and finish laundry, empty dishwasher, and shovel snow. None of this is on my list of course.;)

Deb

Swamp Donkey
12-20-04, 11:12 PM
My mother firmly believed that it was not her duty to do all the house cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc.
As a rude, smart-alec punk of a kid, I believed just the opposite. After all, all my friends' mothers did all the cleaning, and they never had to help, so obviously my mother must have been wrong.
She also believed that if we we kids wanted our rooms clean, then we'd clean them by ourselves, so there was no need to tell us to clean them.
There was often a list or schedule of job duties for the public areas of the house, but even then the house was never clean, mostly due to the mental/emotional disorganization in the home. It was actually often quite filthy, and always terribly cluttered.

When I moved out on my own, I started keeping my own house clean because I was disgusted by how I was raised. I don't keep it spotless; I don't like a house that looks ready for a magazine photo. I like to hang my coat on a chair, put my feet on the coffee table (no shoes), and a day's worth of dishes in the sink don't bother me.

But, this did not come automatically. Quite frankly, I had to teach myself how to keep a house clean; it is a learned skill, just like cooking or carpentry, and I regret that I was not taught this skill better as a child, but I also recognize that my mother's problems with orginazation (and she was probably slightly schitzophrenic) made this difficult for her.

aneededchange
12-20-04, 11:30 PM
Awesome thread. I have been peeking in on it, but now it is time for my $.02.


aneededchange I was afraid that you had put too much on your plate and would be dissappointed if you didn't get it all done. I laughed with you when I read that you did passed your test and decided to give yourself a free weekend. That sounds so much like me. If I do dishes and laundry in the same day, I figure I get the 3 days off. Thank you for starting this thread. You have helped motivate me to do something with my pig sty. I made a very short list to start with. I know where the list is, but I can't remember what was on it.

Last Friday I did manage to clean. My husband was stuck on forced overtime. I figured if he was stuck working an extra 8 hours, I could do something with this house that he would appreciate. I managed to give him the dining room table back by throwing crap out and organizing. I also vaccuumed the living room and dining room. Not to mention still doing my regular chores (bringing wood in house, dishes,etc). This is progress as far as I am concerned.

I also agree that this thread would be awesome in other sections of the forum, but if it was somewhere else, I may not have found it. :D

Deb,

Many congrats on your accomplishments. :D I think any step in the right direction is a good one, no matter how small you think it is. My fiance and myself both work hard, and we both work long hours to make ends meet.
Don't get me wrong - he does help. His help is sparatic at best - but at least he does help.... sometimes. :o
Thanks so much - a HUGE stress was lifted off my shoulders when i found out I passed my test.
I think I am going to take a different approach to cleaning. ... I need to plan out my time better and be more realistic with what I can get done at one time.

*hugs*
Thanks for your 2 cents.

-Ane-

My mother firmly believed that it was not her duty to do all the house cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc.
As a rude, smart-alec punk of a kid, I believed just the opposite. After all, all my friends' mothers did all the cleaning, and they never had to help, so obviously my mother must have been wrong.
She also believed that if we we kids wanted our rooms clean, then we'd clean them by ourselves, so there was no need to tell us to clean them.
There was often a list or schedule of job duties for the public areas of the house, but even then the house was never clean, mostly due to the mental/emotional disorganization in the home. It was actually often quite filthy, and always terribly cluttered.

When I moved out on my own, I started keeping my own house clean because I was disgusted by how I was raised. I don't keep it spotless; I don't like a house that looks ready for a magazine photo. I like to hang my coat on a chair, put my feet on the coffee table (no shoes), and a day's worth of dishes in the sink don't bother me.

But, this did not come automatically. Quite frankly, I had to teach myself how to keep a house clean; it is a learned skill, just like cooking or carpentry, and I regret that I was not taught this skill better as a child, but I also recognize that my mother's problems with orginazation (and she was probably slightly schitzophrenic) made this difficult for her.
SwampDonkey -
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think that being tidy *is* a learned skill also. Just as many with ADD have to *learn* how to learn ((what works for them))....

My parents were fairly tidy people, but my mother was a pack-rat and my father had to have every room sterile. I have taken a more pack-rat-ish style of house keeping, which I have found only adds to the clutter and choas of my home. I have found my fiance is a hoarder too ... so now there is 4+ peoples worth of stuff in one small apartment, meant only for 2 peoples stuff at best.

I know I need to purge my belongs and decide what I truly need to keep - and what I can give away. I figure, if I haven't see it or used it in about a year - chances are I won't miss it if I give it way or end up tossing it.

I plan on sitting down tonight and coming up with a solid game plan on what I *want* to accomplish in a given time and what is actually do-able.

Thanks again,

-Ane-

Struggling
12-21-04, 09:50 AM
Well I have to admit that I don't keep my house anywhere near a neat and tidy as my wife does and when I clean an area she ussually finds stuff that I missed.

Now when she is cleaning I stay well out of her way but close enough that she can give me explicit instructions on what she wants me to do.

Quite often all she wants if for me to stay out of her way, but to park my butt on the chair at my computer desk and be ready to jump when she calls.

I start off with good intentions to help her when she calls , but by the time she finally want me to do something Im ready for a nap as it is very exhasting sitting at my computer desk playing on my computer , anticipating every minute that I'm about to get called.

When she finnally does ask me to do something , I really don't want to but I force myself to do as she asks becuse she works very hard to keep the place clean and I enjoy the fruits of her labor.

Why she can't ask me at the first of the session when I'm full of energy , instead of 3 hours after , Ill never figure out.

Mine is not to QUESTION WHY
Mine is but
To Do
or
DIE

and trust me ladies , it really is her wish that I stay out of her way, or go do a section that is away from her...........


lol...that made me chuckle :p

rottndobelover
12-21-04, 01:55 PM
I usually try to keep to one task at a time. I will vacuum the place even though I usually try and clean one room at a time. Next I will mop everywhere that needs mopped, etc.... That way I don't have to keep going back aand forth with the same stuff more than once.

Coral Rhedd
12-21-04, 10:57 PM
Well I have to admit that I don't keep my house anywhere near a neat and tidy as my wife does and when I clean an area she ussually finds stuff that I missed.

Now when she is cleaning I stay well out of her way but close enough that she can give me explicit instructions on what she wants me to do.

Quite often all she wants if for me to stay out of her way, but to park my butt on the chair at my computer desk and be ready to jump when she calls.

I start off with good intentions to help her when she calls , but by the time she finally want me to do something Im ready for a nap as it is very exhasting sitting at my computer desk playing on my computer , anticipating every minute that I'm about to get called.

When she finnally does ask me to do something , I really don't want to but I force myself to do as she asks becuse she works very hard to keep the place clean and I enjoy the fruits of her labor.

Why she can't ask me at the first of the session when I'm full of energy , instead of 3 hours after , Ill never figure out.

Mine is not to QUESTION WHY
Mine is but
To Do
or
DIE

and trust me ladies , it really is her wish that I stay out of her way, or go do a section that is away from her...........
I used a similar strategy with my ex. I couldn't get him to do a thing around the house, but then I noticed he always criticized my housework. He did not like the mop I used to mop. So off we went to the hardware store. "Which mop do you like?" I said. He picked out a huge heavy mop. Later I said it was just too heavy for me and that he would have to do the mopping from then on. I simply quit mopping.

He did not like the way I did dishes because he did not like the way I stacked them in the drainer. I simply stopped doing dishes. He had to take up the slack because I told him I refused to cook when we ran out of dishes.

He turned out to be a pretty good mopper and dishwasher. Somebody had to do it.;)

Swamp Donkey
12-21-04, 10:58 PM
I know I need to purge my belongs and decide what I truly need to keep - and what I can give away. I figure, if I haven't see it or used it in about a year - chances are I won't miss it if I give it way or end up tossing it

Ane, If you do this--and I most heartily encourage you to do it--it may seem hard at first. But...but...but I need this...but I need that...will be going through your mind as you make a decision over each thing.
However, just like you said, if you haven't used it for a year, you probably don't need it, and I think that you will find, if you make the choice to part with these "precious items" that you will experience a wonderful sense of freedom.
It's like, do you own these things, or do they own you?

One day I came home after visiting some friends for the weekend to find that it was burned down; about the only thing I had left was a change of clothes I'd taken with me.
Although I had lost virtually everything, I knew in my heart that there was not a single object that I truly missed or longed for. Now, it was extremely inconvient to have to replace everything I used in day to day life; tools, pots & pans, clothes, computer, etc, but I didn't miss anything if that makes sense.
It was amazing how little I really needed!

meadd823
12-21-04, 11:17 PM
I understand the need to be able to walk from favorite recliner in front of "tube" to the bathroom (or at least out of doors) as then we crash past clutter into the unsanitary. I read some where a very useful tip which was to set a timer for say fifteen minutes of cleaning, , and for fifteen minutes clean say the kitchen counter (pick a task) as fast as I can. I do these fifteen minute spurts three times daily and I am able to keep up with the clutter. A second thing, I with live a fellow ADD clutter bug I give him a portion of the home to "decorate" as he chooses. At present his half of the living room is decorated with 30% of a 1949 Fergerson tractor (in peices of coarse) I have people visit and get some "looks" I just tell them like it is "this is his house as much as it is mine and he has a right to decorate it any way he chooses" ----> if people have a problem with that I guess THEY have a problem. I do have to remind him of his boundaries from time to time because I like to sit, lay and do other things with the couch on my side of our living room. He sticks stuff in my area I just add it to his collection in his area. His stack of tractor is about half way up the wall wonder how long it will take it to reach the ceiling. Crazy???? maybe but it sure beats the constant nagging, fighting, ect. The moral of this story pick and choose your area, time, and battles, life is much to short to focus on what isn't done, clean or said.

Nucking_Futs
12-22-04, 02:59 PM
I can safely say that I am not an expert in this field. My house looks like crap and makes me want to cry, and there are 5 people living there.


DH is not ADD but works nights, and feels that when he is home, he should use that time to relax and do what he wants to do. (lay on the couch or play on the computer.) He is very, very good at complainaing about the general state of the house and saying that "someone" needs to wash the dishes or mop the floors, yadda yadda.

I have found I have some sucsess by asking him point blank to help, and then giving him a specific job or room. I also make sure that while I am assigning him a task, I also take on a task myself. Example: "Honey, would you please pick up and sweep the living room while I clean that bathroom?" Like I said, doesn't always work, but it's that strategy for getting his help that works best. Crying also works well. LOL, JK

I love your tactics tried them myself. Although, I didn't have any success until he ran out of clean clothes and couldn't find his stuff because I refuse to pick up after another adult.

Nucking_Futs
12-22-04, 03:09 PM
Christmas is coming and I've been cleaning in high gear. I may be ADHD but I'm also very OCD, it's almost like having two personalities while the ADHD side of me can think of a lot more things she'd rather be doing then cleaning the OCD side is going nuts because there's a cobweb on the ceiling. So, you can imagine the struggle lmbo.

My biggest set back was organization...strange I know, I mean how could I a grown woman not be organized? it's cleaning the house not brain surgery...But, I'd start to clean, pulling everything off shelves and out of cupboards for a mean dusting when OOOooo pretty lights. WEll, you get the picture so I learned from watching a 4 yr old little boy (my son he's a genius) clean his room. He starts in a corner and works his way out. Huh, so I got myself a little laundry basket, loaded it with everything I could possibly need for each room, sent the kids out with their father, put on my head phones and started in the farthest corner of my house and worked until my butt ran into something that I couldn't move by ramming it a couple of times. 6 hours later I was a new woman...

EVERYTHING I LEARNED IN LIFE I LEARNED FROM MY KIDS.

meadd823
12-23-04, 11:40 AM
"Although, I didn't have any success until he ran out of clean clothes and couldn't find his stuff because I refuse to pick up after another adult."

Hey I refused to do the dirty laundry of husband because we could afford stuff he wanted and felt we needed but could never afford a washer and dryer because HE didn't have to go to the laundry-matt every week and do ten loads of laundry ( we had four children and two adults that could fly through clean cloths like starving locus do a corn crop) Well I kept up with mine and the childrens cloths but refused to do his. He finially decided we could afford a washer and dryer when out of desparation he had to go to the laundry matt, some woman threathed to clobber him when he beat her to a dryer.
Some may feel I was being a bi1ch but I call it making point. Many folks can't seem to see beyond thier own problems. Unless it becomes thier problem they don't understand why you have one. In the example of the lack of funds for a washer/dryer wasn't my husbands problem until HE had to go to the washateria himself, WALLa he gained understanding. Don't make others peoples mess be your problem, let those who refuse to pick up after them selves find thier own stuff, do thier own laundry ect...

MovingOn
12-23-04, 09:19 PM
Quite often all she wants if for me to stay out of her way, but to park my butt on the chair at my computer desk and be ready to jump when she calls.

I start off with good intentions to help her when she calls , but by the time she finally want me to do something Im ready for a nap as it is very exhasting sitting at my computer desk playing on my computer , anticipating every minute that I'm about to get called.

When she finnally does ask me to do something , I really don't want to but I force myself to do as she asks becuse she works very hard to keep the place clean and I enjoy the fruits of her labor.

Why she can't ask me at the first of the session when I'm full of energy , instead of 3 hours after , Ill never figure out.

Mine is not to QUESTION WHY
Mine is but
To Do
or
DIE

and trust me ladies , it really is her wish that I stay out of her way, or go do a section that is away from her...........


OMG Garry!

I'd say your wife was the reincarnation of my mother...'cept my Mom's still alive and kickin'! I of course didn't have a computer when I was growing up so I sat on the edge of my bed, chair, sofa, etc. waiting for mom to scream my name, she is truly a sweet woman, she just has a harsh voice (German accent).

The good news is that my mother's house was a perfect household for anyone with ADD and since you said you enjoy the fruits of your wife's labor that probably means you function well at home as a result. Yeah!

But why should you have to spend your time tense and stressed for what truly is NOT a good reason. I was 32 years old before I realized this and could relax in my Mom's home. Even though I wasn't dx'd w/ADD, I realized that my brain worked differently from hers and always would. So I quit feeling guilty and relaxed.

What if you print out your post and let your wife read it? Then maybe she could decide what you could help her clean to her satisfaction on a regular basis. You and I both know she'll probably still have to remind you occasionally, but it could make it easier for both of you. You can feel productive instead of guilty and she hopefully will realize you are trying and not feel like she is doing everything by herself. Also if she is so particular, actually lets say anal, about a certain way of doing things, she should be willing to shoulder those responsibilities herself.

EX: I will NEVER live anywhere with glass doors on the tub. I even took them down when I was renting apts. WORST fight w/ Mom as a teenager!!! Mentioned it 25 years later to my Sis whose eyes got HUGE as she agreed it was the worst fight ever in our house. She at age 13 had locked herself in the family car to escape it 2 days B4 xmas. ALL because when I was left to clean the bathroom for the hoildays, (it was so clean you could've eaten out of the damm toilet), I didn't know to lift the doors out of their tracks in order to dry the waterspots in the track bottoms!!!

Good Luck!

aneededchange
12-26-04, 06:16 PM
Well, I hope everyone had a lovely holiday. ((I know that I did.))

Time to get back on track once again. Last weekend was my 'free' weekend, this weekend was my have-to-visit-friends-&-family-all-weekend weekend.... so that means that this coming week and this next weekend is my clean-organize-and-purge time.

I am getting ready to sit down and write a realistic list of things to accomplish through out the week and into the weekend once I post this. Once I get things hammered out, I will then post up my schedule and and action plan on *how* I plan on getting things done.

Wish me luck.

Thank you.

aneededchange
12-26-04, 06:39 PM
My to-do list:

I work 12+ hour days M/W/F and only 8+ hours T/Th so the lists will be according to the estimated free time I have after work.

Monday
* Clean/tidy the bathroom [I have a very small bathroom - only a toliet and shower/tub in that room]

(take out trash, clean toliet bowel, clean outside of toliet, sweep floor, mop floor, clean tub, wipe down shower curtain)

* Clean/tidy the vanity area [My sink is located outside of the bathroom, in a super small area b/t the bathroom and the bedroom]

(remove trash, sweep carpet, clean sink, wipe down counter, remove items that don't belong there)

Tuesday
* re-claim the office [it is a 7x9 area]

((same goals as in my previous post - but this time- they WILL get done))

The rest of the days will be scheduled as I complete the things listed for Monday and Tuesday.... so it doesn't feel so overwhelming.


I will try to do some of the Monday stuff tonight, if I can make myself do it ... *lol*
My fiance will be responsible for the living room on his day off - as he volunteered for that one. :)


Thanks for listening.
-Ane-

aneededchange
12-26-04, 08:03 PM
I have been rather productive tonight .... but not as much as I should be. I have been working on removing some stains in my carpet - some of which are from me, but the majority of them are from my fiance - While my man is away at work. ((Good thing I love him!!)) I have had some luck with a few of them, but there is one that is giving me a particularly hard time. I guess that I will have to put more elbow grease into it. *le sigh* I hope I can get them toned down ... I would hate to lose my deposit over a few stains in the living room. I suppose I will have to rent a professional cleaner if I can't.

Thanks again.

-Ane-

pembroke
12-26-04, 08:27 PM
may i suggest you keep an empty clothes basket with you to put the stuff in that doesn't belong in the room you are tidying....throw all "alien" items in there, rather than returning them the very moment you touch them - that will lead to further distraction and getting off track. When you have finished with the room you are cleaning, return the items from the basket - but only that....no cleaning the room you happen to be in to return something.

aneededchange
12-26-04, 09:57 PM
may i suggest you keep an empty clothes basket with you to put the stuff in that doesn't belong in the room you are tidying....throw all "alien" items in there, rather than returning them the very moment you touch them - that will lead to further distraction and getting off track. When you have finished with the room you are cleaning, return the items from the basket - but only that....no cleaning the room you happen to be in to return something.
Ohhh!!! I love good ideas. Thanks dear. I will add the empty basket idea to my list of helpful things to incorporate to my cleaning routine. *HUGS*
I have already started my monday to-do list ... the bathroom is almost done. I am going to re-caulk the tub tonight also - so it will be set by the time we actually get up and take a shower in the morning.
I love my moments of focus. :D No matter how few or far between. *giggles* Off to finish the bathroom ... if I have time - the cat box is next.

aneededchange
12-26-04, 10:34 PM
I also wanted to share a cleaning tip for the bathroom .... VINEGAR. That stuff is great for getting rid of mildew and such. And it is *way* cheaper than the stuff you buy to get rid of mildew in the store. (larger white vinegar = $1.50 + New spray bottle = 90 cents [just under $2.50] compared to the 3+ dollars you find in the store)


On my last mopping of the bathroom floor, and getting ready to toss the bathroom mat into the washer .... then I remove the old caulking and put the new on.

cleaning can be fun .... LOL

pembroke
12-27-04, 02:21 AM
cleaning can be fun .... LOL
if you say so.....

i use baking soda in the tub, and use vinegar and baking soda to put down the drain to "freshen" the kitchen drain....

aneededchange
12-27-04, 10:28 PM
I have tons of natural cleaning recipies that are cheap and good for the earth if you want them ...

BTW - I JUST got in from work ... pulled a 13+ hours today. Too pooped to clean. I am just thankful I got the bathroom done last night.

Nucking_Futs
12-28-04, 04:59 PM
"Although, I didn't have any success until he ran out of clean clothes and couldn't find his stuff because I refuse to pick up after another adult."

Hey I refused to do the dirty laundry of husband because we could afford stuff he wanted and felt we needed but could never afford a washer and dryer because HE didn't have to go to the laundry-matt every week and do ten loads of laundry ( we had four children and two adults that could fly through clean cloths like starving locus do a corn crop) Well I kept up with mine and the childrens cloths but refused to do his. He finially decided we could afford a washer and dryer when out of desparation he had to go to the laundry matt, some woman threathed to clobber him when he beat her to a dryer.
Some may feel I was being a bi1ch but I call it making point. Many folks can't seem to see beyond thier own problems. Unless it becomes thier problem they don't understand why you have one. In the example of the lack of funds for a washer/dryer wasn't my husbands problem until HE had to go to the washateria himself, WALLa he gained understanding. Don't make others peoples mess be your problem, let those who refuse to pick up after them selves find thier own stuff, do thier own laundry ect...


You know Tammy I don't think you were being a witch at all...it's called thinking on your feet.

Nucking_Futs
12-28-04, 05:04 PM
I have been rather productive tonight .... but not as much as I should be. I have been working on removing some stains in my carpet - some of which are from me, but the majority of them are from my fiance - While my man is away at work. ((Good thing I love him!!)) I have had some luck with a few of them, but there is one that is giving me a particularly hard time. I guess that I will have to put more elbow grease into it. *le sigh* I hope I can get them toned down ... I would hate to lose my deposit over a few stains in the living room. I suppose I will have to rent a professional cleaner if I can't.

Thanks again.

-Ane-

For truly tough stains: wet thoroughly with a commercial spot remover made for carpets...lay a wet washclothe or towel over the area and kick the living daylights out of it...you really have to beat at the area to get the cleaner down in deep then lay a brick or something heavy over the wet, covered area over night, in the morning give it another spray down and scrubbing your stain should be out...if not buy a throw rug. :D

Struggling
12-29-04, 08:57 AM
This thread makes me want to tidy my own house

Struggling
12-29-04, 10:06 AM
I think I need to start my own tidy/organize the house thread...it will help me keep on track of things.

Nucking_Futs
12-29-04, 02:40 PM
This thread makes me want to tidy my own house

Not me...I'm so angry right now. Last night I had been up since noon the day before and had to go into work so one of the aides was not by herself trying to take care of 100 residents; so, my husband decides to play ***hole and won't help with the house or supper and then won't put down the stupid controller when the baby started crying so I had to get up. I've been up for officially 48 hours as of noon if he wants supper he can cook it, if he wants a clean house he can clean it. He gets on these immature kicks punishing me for working graveyard so he has to sleep alone OOOOOOOOo dear OOOooooo me the poor victim. :mad:

aneededchange
12-31-04, 11:05 AM
I think I need to start my own tidy/organize the house thread...it will help me keep on track of things.
Struggling - feel free to use this one. I started it out of *pure* frustration with my place. With both people in this house having ADD it makes getting things done very hard ....


Not me...I'm so angry right now. Last night I had been up since noon the day before and had to go into work so one of the aides was not by herself trying to take care of 100 residents; so, my husband decides to play ***hole and won't help with the house or supper and then won't put down the stupid controller when the baby started crying so I had to get up. I've been up for officially 48 hours as of noon if he wants supper he can cook it, if he wants a clean house he can clean it. He gets on these immature kicks punishing me for working graveyard so he has to sleep alone OOOOOOOOo dear OOOooooo me the poor victim. :mad:
Futs -
I feel your pain on the Hubbie (in my case - fiance) issues with *not* helping.
I think he needs to buck-up and take it like a man. As an adult, we often have to do things we don't want to, but that *needs* to be done.
(hugs)

aneededchange
12-31-04, 11:19 AM
Okay ... I am working on gathering my tools for cleaning. (Getting my bins ready for the 4 categories of KEEP, TOSS, OTHER ROOM, and GIVE; dusters, cleaners, and the like; good & energetic music.)

I think I will start with the bedroom. It sure as hades needs it. You can't even WALK through there. Clothes are on the floor, trash every where ... you know.

I am fixing breakfast now - and once I eat... I will begin.

Nucking_Futs
12-31-04, 11:35 PM
Good luck!!! and how did it go. Sounds like my bedroom since the holidays everything including the still set up Christmas tree has migrated to our bedroom. Koda just couldn't look at the tree anymore and it upsets him...he shouldn't suffer cause mommy has been low too and too lazy to take it down. Tommorrow morning after work Doug is going to help me take it down and store it back in the attic so Koda can relax as the house slowly finds it way back to normalcy. Then I'll attack the rest of the room and the babies since we kind of forgot to take the size of his room into consideration when buying gifts this year...I'll have to post some picture's so that anyone with ideas on how to use his space more constructivly can help me out. Doug's sucking it up but the fact is that this time of the year I don't get much help from due to depression but the other 9 months of the year he's a work horse so my complaining is really very unfair but thanks for giving me the space to do it safely without making him feel even worse.

aneededchange
12-31-04, 11:41 PM
Good luck!!! and how did it go. Sounds like my bedroom since the holidays everything including the still set up Christmas tree has migrated to our bedroom. Koda just couldn't look at the tree anymore and it upsets him...he shouldn't suffer cause mommy has been low too and too lazy to take it down. Tommorrow morning after work Doug is going to help me take it down and store it back in the attic so Koda can relax as the house slowly finds it way back to normalcy. Then I'll attack the rest of the room and the babies since we kind of forgot to take the size of his room into consideration when buying gifts this year...I'll have to post some picture's so that anyone with ideas on how to use his space more constructivly can help me out. Doug's sucking it up but the fact is that this time of the year I don't get much help from due to depression but the other 9 months of the year he's a work horse so my complaining is really very unfair but thanks for giving me the space to do it safely without making him feel even worse.
Yet another one of my *failed* attempts. I think I will take my meds as soon as I get up in the morning so I can be less distracted. "Law and Order: SVU" was what did it today. They had a marathon of it.

I just hope that this thread does as least some of us some good ....

minn306
01-01-05, 11:06 AM
I just had to respond to this thread. Ane ~ what a great idea you had when you started this. My house has been such a disaster since Christmas. The gifts are still under the tree(unwrapped of course), toys are everywhere. I get sick just loking at the house in the mornings. I hate the feeling that I have that I am such a failure at keeping my house clean all the time. Why can't I be one of those people that are always so organized??
My plan for today is to take down the tree, put it back in the attic...............and get this house looking decent again. Wish me luck on that adventure today!! Wonder how much help I will get from the kids & spouse??!!!

aneededchange
01-01-05, 12:57 PM
I just had to respond to this thread. Ane ~ what a great idea you had when you started this. My house has been such a disaster since Christmas. The gifts are still under the tree(unwrapped of course), toys are everywhere. I get sick just loking at the house in the mornings. I hate the feeling that I have that I am such a failure at keeping my house clean all the time. Why can't I be one of those people that are always so organized??
My plan for today is to take down the tree, put it back in the attic...............and get this house looking decent again. Wish me luck on that adventure today!! Wonder how much help I will get from the kids & spouse??!!!
Good luck to you on your adventure ....*hugs* If it were me - I'd tell them no lunch until they help!! LOL ((BTW - you are not a failure hun, you have kids and a hubbie - significant factors in how clean a place stays))

I just took my meds, and I am getting ready to eat (I woke up late) and will try it all again - this time with the help of my meds.

Wish me luck!

aneededchange
01-01-05, 02:45 PM
You have to adore pet affection. My Cat ((Ibn)) is just eating up my time at home. He hasn't let my side since I have been here.


In other news, the meds have started to kick in and I am working out my PoA (Plan of Action) for my bedroom, and have gotten it almost hammered out. Ibn thinks he is helping, but he is not. :p I love my kitty so ...

Best of luck to you all.

-Ane-

Nucking_Futs
01-01-05, 04:24 PM
Ane your right you've got to love kitties. Ours is so loving and feels so neglected that he will sit on your shoulder as you use the toilet...I get no peace I tell you lmbo.

Well, it's 2:20pm here and I've accomplished nothing. I never should have bought the X-box for my husband and son nor the Halo games; live and learn I guess. The day is not over and I have not lost hope. I tried a new tactic, let them be for a few hours while I take lazy mommy time and I've asked them nicely if I don't bother them for another hour will they help me get half my list done and both were very agreeable to the plan. So, I won't get as much as I wanted done today, I'll still get half of what I wanted to do done and there's always tommorrow since I plan on being here.

aneededchange
01-01-05, 05:11 PM
Ane your right you've got to love kitties. Ours is so loving and feels so neglected that he will sit on your shoulder as you use the toilet...I get no peace I tell you lmbo.

Well, it's 2:20pm here and I've accomplished nothing. I never should have bought the X-box for my husband and son nor the Halo games; live and learn I guess. The day is not over and I have not lost hope. I tried a new tactic, let them be for a few hours while I take lazy mommy time and I've asked them nicely if I don't bother them for another hour will they help me get half my list done and both were very agreeable to the plan. So, I won't get as much as I wanted done today, I'll still get half of what I wanted to do done and there's always tommorrow since I plan on being here.
My cat will follow me to any room I goto (even in the bathroom) and try to sit on my lap.

Don't feel bad - I have yet to get anything done ... *le sigh*


I just got totally overwhelmed when I went into the bedroom and looked at it - really looked at it. I have a huge task infront of me. I hope I am up to it. I think I will start at one corner and see how that goes - you know look at the parts and not the entire picture ... so I hope I won't too overwhelmed all at once.

Clutter makes me crazy. I can do this ... I can do this.

*sighs and heads out*

aneededchange
01-01-05, 08:49 PM
well,

the bedroom has not been done ... BUT I have been working on my office area!! It is almost clean, but not organized. I guess something is better than nothing.
On the downside, I think I broke my vacuum cleaner... And I don't even know how I did it. No pick up in the upright position, but the hose attachment works. **said look** Now I have to scrimp and save to get a new one. ... or at least a decent used one.

At least one thing got done ....

crime_scene
01-01-05, 09:14 PM
i have a tip for xmas....I have a small tree which I've already decorated, now I just put a bag over it and store till next xmas and out it comes, all fresh and....DONE!

pembroke
01-01-05, 09:36 PM
well, the bedroom has not been done ....
you are overwhelming yourself. that is why the bedroom isn't done. take it one step at a time. for right now, just put the clothes away. then tackle the next step. don't worry if you don't do it; glory in the accomplished.....

aneededchange
01-01-05, 09:55 PM
you are overwhelming yourself. that is why the bedroom isn't done. take it one step at a time. for right now, just put the clothes away. then tackle the next step. don't worry if you don't do it; glory in the accomplished.....
Thanks Pem hun, I did the next best thing ... I picked a place that was less intimidating and went hog-wild on it. The office is clean, but the organizing will have to come later .... I cleaned my vanity area and picked up the bathroom. 3 areas are tidy .... Not a bad day ... AND I did some laundry. I need a cookie. :P

pembroke
01-01-05, 10:02 PM
you rock!

i finally bought a new mop (well, hubby bought it, since we were @ home depot to get stuff to finish bathroom and i put it in the cart) and swept, vacuumed and washed my kitchen and living room floors (then swept again! because once is not enough!). Today I did laundry - extra thanks to puppy wetting my bed.....and now i have to clean up the kitchen again, because dinner was lots of leftovers in many different washable containers. ugh. but, later!

hang in there -- my daughter just said she wants to help with the house cleaning! yeah!

aneededchange
01-01-05, 10:21 PM
At least she wants to help!! I am working on getting enough momentum up to get the kitchen done. *evil grin* I just got done with my laundry room ... 4 areas done (for now).


*hugs*

Now I go eat.

pembroke
01-01-05, 10:38 PM
bon appetit

we had leftoverture....

Nucking_Futs
01-01-05, 11:22 PM
well,

the bedroom has not been done ... BUT I have been working on my office area!! It is almost clean, but not organized. I guess something is better than nothing.
On the downside, I think I broke my vacuum cleaner... And I don't even know how I did it. No pick up in the upright position, but the hose attachment works. **said look** Now I have to scrimp and save to get a new one. ... or at least a decent used one.

At least one thing got done ....


If your vacuum still has suction then it's probably not broken. I'm not very good at picking everything up before I try and vacuum, the hose into the vacuum is usually clogged. It would help if I knew what kind of vacuum you had. My vacuum's hose stays attached and the accessories have a place on the vacuum (very good choice for an ADD'er). My clog is almost alway's found were the vacuum hose meets the hand held hose, I use a long screw driver to work loose what ever is causing the clog and shake it vigoriously over the trash can upside down. Good Luck!!!!

Nucking_Futs
01-01-05, 11:24 PM
i have a tip for xmas....I have a small tree which I've already decorated, now I just put a bag over it and store till next xmas and out it comes, all fresh and....DONE!

We just bought my mother and father in law 4 foot fiber optic Christmas trees and little decorations for their next Christmas present. Since neither one likes to mess with a big tree for just them to enjoy that way they can decorate it and as you say stick it in a closet after the season. They were only $18.99 a piece at K-mart after season special's...I LOVE THEM!!!

pembroke
01-01-05, 11:29 PM
If your vacuum still has suction then it's probably not broken. I'm not very good at picking everything up before I try and vacuum, the hose into the vacuum is usually clogged. It would help if I knew what kind of vacuum you had. My vacuum's hose stays attached and the accessories have a place on the vacuum (very good choice for an ADD'er). My clog is almost alway's found were the vacuum hose meets the hand held hose, I use a long screw driver to work loose what ever is causing the clog and shake it vigoriously over the trash can upside down. Good Luck!!!!
I use an un-bent wire coat hanger....and changing the bag does wonders! it's usually - oh yeah! no wonder the darn thing doesn't suck anymore :D

Nucking_Futs
01-01-05, 11:30 PM
I did get the Christmas decorations down and back in the attic. My living room is back in order and cleaned spotless.

Here's my agenda for tommorrow...wish me luck.

Kitchen (I wash the microwave on Sat. the frig and self cleaning oven on Sunday...need to do both tommorrow).

Bathroom (Laundry is almost done, Lexi is in trouble so she'll be cleaning the cat pan instead of me *giggles* isn't having kids nice?!!!)

Living Room (should take only a few seconds since it'll just need a vacuuming and quick dust)

Garrett's room (I still can't figure out were to stick all these stinking toys)

Dakota's room (I'm OCD, we've met a compromise...the kids clean their rooms everyday and I deep clean...dusting, changing sheets, windows, etc once a week)

Lexi's room

Our room (now our room probably looks much like yours did so it'll take me the longest and will be a real test of my will power to stick with it.)

But, then if I don't get it done...there is alway's tommorrow. It's a deal I've made with fate...I can't leave this earth as long as I have something to keep me busy lmbo.

Nucking_Futs
01-01-05, 11:31 PM
I use an un-bent wire coat hanger....and changing the bag does wonders! it's usually - oh yeah! no wonder the darn thing doesn't suck anymore :D

LMBO if we're nothing else...we're creative problem solvers. :D

pembroke
01-01-05, 11:32 PM
eek :eek: good luck! i thought i was doing good having washed the floors in the living room, kitchen, bathroom and hall.....and getting most of the laundry done.

Nucking_Futs
01-02-05, 03:50 PM
Kitchen-done
Living room-done
Garrett's room-as done as it will probably ever get lol
Koda's room-done
Lexi's room-the child shoved everything under her bed, so she's working on it right now.
Our room-is intimidating me right now but I'm slowly making head way...found my favorite jeans.*grins*

aneededchange
01-02-05, 04:14 PM
Kitchen-done
Living room-done
Garrett's room-as done as it will probably ever get lol
Koda's room-done
Lexi's room-the child shoved everything under her bed, so she's working on it right now.
Our room-is intimidating me right now but I'm slowly making head way...found my favorite jeans.*grins*
Congrats ... Congrats .... Congrats!!!
That is ALOT to accomplish. **gives you a cookie**
Pat yourself on the back - you deserve it.

As far as the Vacuum goes - it is a bagless upright .. and the detachable hose (to get tough spots) is what hooks up to the floor part. The hose works fine on its own, but does little when hooked up to the floor thingie.

Soon off to tackle my kitchen ....

Nucking_Futs
01-02-05, 04:18 PM
Sounds like my vacuum...your clog is probably in the floor thingy. Have you tried sticking something up to remove the clog?...remember to unplug it first though K!! lol

aneededchange
01-02-05, 04:21 PM
Sounds like my vacuum...your clog is probably in the floor thingy. Have you tried sticking something up to remove the clog?...remember to unplug it first though K!! lol
LOL ... I will try that ... thanks.

((Unplugged of course))

Deeperblue
01-02-05, 06:36 PM
okay, it is Sunday and tomorrow I am entering into the first full week of the new year (I guess that you are, too) I will tell you that I have not read too many of the posts here, I am usually guilty of that... (another story, maybe even worthy of a new thread...how to read posts...I will add that to my little list. ;), )anyway....my house (little) is not too bad. And if it is bad, I really don't know. I just live with what I have. And I try to get rid of stuff when I want.

And the Christmas cards will stay hanging on the ribbon attached to my mantle. I like the way it looks and I'll keep it that way for some time.

And I will clean the bathroom...but I gotta go. Company...ug and uh-oh!!!!

Nucking_Futs
01-03-05, 12:33 PM
It's been my belief that the goal of the forums is to educate members on ADD in a safe enviroment, giving us more freedom to be ourselves. While I aprove of the forums goal, I have added one of my own and that is that no-one ever feel alone; because, someone has been there, done that, still living it. No-one should ever cry alone, laugh alone, be afraid alone. So, DB your house may not be the cleanest in the world but it's not filthy either and if you want to leave your Christmas cards up till next year then I say go for it!!!! This is your home and anything that makes it more so is fair game. What I wouldn't do to be able to look at my house and say "there it's clean enough" but for me that is almost impossible I'm OCD and while I don't always consider it a disability when it comes to just relaxing it can definatly prevent that from happening. I have never been able to just sit and watch a program or a movie with my family on the couch I alway's jump up and switch a load over or dust something off really quick. How nice it would be to just look around me and say "Good enough" what a great world you ladies must live in. Isn't that funny while some of you are admiring my organization and clean house I'm admiring your ability to relax and ability to just be yourself. Life is definatly strange that way.

Scattered
01-06-05, 08:15 PM
Well, I think it is time for me to get my 'stuff' together at home. I am tired living in a place that I hate being in - due to the fact that it is absolute squalor. ((My opinion mind you))

My fiance and I live together - both of us have ADD. I think he is worse about cleaning up after himself than I am, which is not saying much. I tried, in the beginning, to keep things clean - but he just kept on messing things up. So I got fed up. I quit caring.

I can't have ANYONE in my home, I am so embarrassed/ashamed of my living space.
Well, this sounds familiar. I've been married 18 years to a guy with ADD and I'm ADHD. Not an easy combination. I used to manage fairly well as a single to keep things livable, but if things get messed up I tend to give up, because I can't figure out where to start. Add two kids on top of that, and squalor barely begins to describe it. No good answers for you (I'm still looking for my own), but lots of empathy!

Scattered

Nucking_Futs
01-07-05, 03:35 PM
((((scattered))))

Scattered
01-11-05, 03:29 AM
The ADD diet must be helping -- I figured out where to start and the house is pretty decent -- not up to OCD standards, but I'm happier! Better remember to put another load of laundry in tonight, before the trend starts to reverse itself.

Scattered

Nucking_Futs
01-11-05, 11:35 AM
Your doing better then myself. My ADHD side seems to be winning but then what's the use when even my OCD standards aren't good enough. It all just feels like a waste of my time and energy. I'm clearly in a self destructive pattern and have lost sight of the light.

Scattered
01-11-05, 03:36 PM
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Nucking Futs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Sounds like you're being really hard on yourself -- been there and done that and know how much it hurts. A counselor asked me a question once that has really been helpful to me, She asked, "What would be different if you knew you were lovable?" When I answered, she said now go do that, even if it feels totally fake at first (which it did). I've used that question a lot since then and it really helps me, when I do. I don't have to believe it, just act "as if" it were true. Over time it helps create it's own reality. Probably should ask myself again -- it's been a while.

Take gentle care

Scattered

Nucking_Futs
01-25-05, 11:58 AM
I KNOW that most days I'm lovable but those one's were I doubt myself tend to drag me down.

QueensU_girl
03-24-06, 12:52 PM
If you can afford it, hire a Professional [Household/Office] Organizer.

An ADD Coach, or an Interior Design or Interior Decorator person might be able to tell you where to find such a person. [Yellow Page]