View Full Version : ADHD awareness - Does your child tell friends?

09-20-12, 06:32 AM
My 13 year old son has just been diagnosed ADHD. He has gone back to school and been assigned his new class. He has declined the "special" class that he was offered. He doesnīt want to be different.

He tells me he has been telling people he has ADHD and they are asking a lot of questions and seem very interested to learn what it is and how it affects him. Iīm so glad that he is not ashamed. His friends are offering help, explaining stuff or telling him the homework (he canīt copy very quickly).

It has taken a lot of work for him to understand that ADHD doesnīt mean stupid, which was how he had always felt.

Does your child keep ADHD him/herself or are they happy to share?

09-20-12, 08:32 AM
That's great that he has a good perspective on it!!

My son choses not to share it. He feels it singles him out and makes him different and I guess he perceives that difference as bad. We don't share it unless it's warranted because society likes to label and unfortunately, it does make people view him differently. We encourage him to understand that his ADHD is simply part of what makes him who he is and is neither "bad" or "good" just a facet of him. But he's just 10 so he's not really ready to embrace that just yet.

09-20-12, 09:43 AM
Due to the way the school system is in Spain he has repeated a whole year so everyone is aware that he has failed the year and kids often ask why?

There isnīt really a stigma here if you repeat the year, as there are loads of other reasons why kids have failed. The headmaster had to repeat and year and so have some of the teachers.

My son thinks that maybe others will think he is stupid for failing so having a legitimate reason for it makes him feel better. He hasnīt encountered any prejudices so far but kids are very accepting here. Overweight kids are accepted and donīt seem to encounter any bullying which I think is great.

09-20-12, 10:20 AM
My son knows he will be teased and wants his success evaulated on him not his disability.

09-20-12, 10:30 AM
sarahsweets,thatīs so mean that he will be teased, that makes me sad to read. Maybe if my son was on meds (he may be soon, next appointment next week) and could hide it better it might be different. But at the moment itīs obvious that he struggles.

Although he is happy for people to know, he doesnīt want to go in a special group, he would rather struggle in a mainstream class.

He had his first music lesson of this term today and was the only that couldnīt read the music notes (he knew last term, but forgot). Two girls offered to help him at break time!!

09-20-12, 01:31 PM
His friends are offering help, explaining stuff or telling him the homework (he canīt copy very quickly).

It has taken a lot of work for him to understand that ADHD doesnīt mean stupid, which was how he had always felt.

This part of your post caught my eye and I just wanted to make a quick note to you. Trouble copying could be a sign of an eye dysfunction. My daughter couldn't copy off the board very fast at all. After doing some research I came across information that led me to see a developmental optometrist. Our regular optometrist never picked up her problem( always a perfect eye check up), but the new one did. After testing it was discovered ( among other issues) that her eyes had not developed the ability to shift focus quickly. This meant that copying from a board was extremely difficult for her. It had nothing to do with ADHD at all. It was a vision issue. After 4 months of vision therapy she is finally at grade level in terms of ability to copy. As a side note she also improved from 16th percentile to 30th percentile in her main problem which was processing speed. Her depth perception went from a 3 year lag to almost age appropriate. She is still ADHD, but we are eliminating a lot of the barriers to her education. We still have about 70 percentiles left till she will hopefully be reading & writing at her intellectual ability instead of being held back by her dysfunctional vision ( the schools just labeled her as having some kind of LD )

If it's possible in your area I'd try to find a developmental optometrist who can test his eye tracking/teeming etc. It doesn't hurt to get more information.

09-20-12, 03:08 PM
thank you mommytriz, he does have mild dyslexia/disortografia (donīt know the world in English) as well.

You have just reminded me of something though, his taekwondo teacher told him to get his eyes tested. He was doing an exercise where he had to run and high kick a target and he keeps missing the target, even though he can reach it.
I will definitely look into it.
thanks again

09-20-12, 05:31 PM
im so glad to hear this pegs, i think where possible integration is important :) its great he feels able to do this

09-20-12, 08:47 PM
Your welcome,

Since her depth perception has improved to age level she no longer spills at the table, runs into corners of walls etc. What we thought was inattention was actually her not being able to judge where things were very well. She stopped soccer because most of the time she couldn't manage to connect with the ball and it was frustrating to her. We had no idea then about her vision, but it makes sense now. Peripheral skills are necessary for reading fluency and hers was terrible. We've got a few months to go, but there is significant improvement to her reading speed. Short term memory is also much improved ( I can't remember the %) as now she is seeing less distortion of what she is supposed to be remembering.