View Full Version : What is an ADHD coach?


Geno
09-20-12, 08:01 PM
I've heard them mentioned on these forums a lot but have no idea what they could be. Are they people who follow you around/check up on you and tell you when you do stuff wrong and how to not do it wrong? (Total guess here, I have no idea:P)

Flory
09-20-12, 08:03 PM
i often wish i had some kind of full time carer/adult nanny :p

Targaryen
09-20-12, 08:22 PM
i often wish i had some kind of full time carer/adult nanny :p

Me too. But I feel like its a catch 22 for me right now. I need to get things together to make more money to be able to afford a service like that (and my insurance runs out very soon) but if my life was together and I was making enough money would I need an ADD coach.

I feel I know my problems (from the books I have read it seems most people with ADD do) but fail to act at the right time to fix them. I usually inform my family of stuff going on I'm my life and try to talk decisions out with them to get external feedback. I feel I often need this and the external pressure they can provide. I find outside perspectives helpful in relation to anything that has to do with time.

scrambled86
09-20-12, 08:44 PM
i often wish i had some kind of full time carer/adult nanny :p

me three! :)

Cranski
09-20-12, 08:44 PM
They are supposed to help with motivation in getting things accomplished you would like to do. I would think a behavioral psychologist or Neuropsychologist would help with changing maladaptive behaviors.

kilted_scotsman
09-21-12, 10:13 AM
The kind of coaching i do is a combination of

1) Developing short term coping strategies to help deal with immediate problems
2) Discussing ADHD/ADD in general and then the ways it impacts that person
3) Looking at relationships and how to handle them
4) Looking at the work/home/social environment to find opportunities for learning new coping techniques.
4) Examining other Non-ADHD stuff that is causing problems

It's basically a way of heightening the individuals awareness of themselves and their environment and helping them develop strategies to deal with situations they find themselves in.

In my view there appears to be a significant benefit from being ADHD myself.... I can talk at first hand about what I feel.... and how I perceive the world ...... and it is recognised by the other person.....which builds empathy and trust, a vital ingredient of the coaching relationship.

I don't think standard coaching can be easily extended to deal with ADHD as the issues such as procrastination, addictive behaviours, impulsivity, difficulties "reading" others etc

Mind you ADD coaching is almost unheard of over here... it may be different in other places.

kilted

addproud
09-28-12, 03:23 PM
An ADD coach will focus totally on you to help you unravel the mystery of you so you become "The World's Leading Expert on You" so you and your coach as a team will be able to convert your ADD into the blessing it really is, so you will enjoy your ADD and thrive because you have it.

Since ADD coaching is best conducted over the phone, coaching with a coach in another country is much easier and less expensive than you think, especially with SKYPE.

Hope this helps.

amberwillow
09-28-12, 11:15 PM
An ADD coach will focus totally on you to help you unravel the mystery of you so you become "The World's Leading Expert on You" so you and your coach as a team will be able to convert your ADD into the blessing it really is, so you will enjoy your ADD and thrive because you have it.

I may be over wary but seriously... Is this sarcasm?

minuss
09-29-12, 12:50 AM
To be honest I didnt have any idea what ADHD was but found that I learnt ways of coping without even knowing it.

I have a system in place for important events.
i have a system in place to keep me off the couch (got rid of TV) but still have pc
and so on.

I think that this comes naturally to most unless im some kinda genius which is highly unlikely

And what the deal with skyp ? why not in person?

Fuzzy12
09-29-12, 02:34 AM
i often wish i had some kind of full time carer/adult nanny :p

me too. In theory. In practice i get very annoyed with anyone telling me what to do.

Rootkit
09-29-12, 02:40 AM
me too. In theory. In practice i get very annoyed with anyone telling me what to do.

I get caught in the same trap. I want people to tell me what to do and then I get mad at them for insisting like I asked them to. People in this context meaning my wife, whom I'm sure wants to kill me many days.

addproud
09-29-12, 11:58 AM
An ADD coach will focus totally on you to help you unravel the mystery of you so you become "The World's Leading Expert on You" so you and your coach as a team will be able to convert your ADD into the blessing it really is, so you will enjoy your ADD and thrive because you have it.
I may be over wary but seriously... Is this sarcasm?

No this is not sarcasm. It is what a true ADD coach does and does not do, but ADD coaching is so different than anything else that many people like you are wary and question the entire coaching process. Likewise, performing these functions as an ADD coach is very difficult to do, and many people who call themselves coaches practice something else, which further confuses everyone. ADD coaches do NOT tell their clients what to do, and do NOT judge or criticize their clients. Refraining from doing these things is not easy. It takes focus, practice, training and the special gift of coaching for someone to perform true ADD coaching.

However the rewards to clients of being in this no judgment place are worth it. See other comments by Fuzzy12 of: “In theory. In practice i get very annoyed with anyone telling me what to do.” Think how it would feel to know someone cares enough NOT to tell you what to do.

Rootkit
09-29-12, 12:19 PM
No this is not sarcasm. It is what a true ADD coach does and does not do, but ADD coaching is so different than anything else that many people like you are wary and question the entire coaching process. Likewise, performing these functions as an ADD coach is very difficult to do, and many people who call themselves coaches practice something else, which further confuses everyone. ADD coaches do NOT tell their clients what to do, and do NOT judge or criticize their clients. Refraining from doing these things is not easy. It takes focus, practice, training and the special gift of coaching for someone to perform true ADD coaching.

However the rewards to clients of being in this no judgment place are worth it. See other comments by Fuzzy12 of: “In theory. In practice i get very annoyed with anyone telling me what to do.” Think how it would feel to know someone cares enough NOT to tell you what to do.

Your description of what you do was essentially a bundle of buzz words, and then when asked if you were being sarcastic you've proceeded to tell us what you don't do. At what point have you actually described what you do to help your clients in a fashion most people could understand?

Crazygirl79
09-29-12, 07:30 PM
They're basically like a life coach except the specialize in ADD/ADHD related problems.

Selena

amberwillow
09-29-12, 08:43 PM
I know what an ADHD Coach is. I understand their methods.
I was just asking the specific question I asked here and no more.
I may be over wary but seriously... Is this sarcasm?

Thank-you for clarifying in your answer, but please don't patronize me...
You don't know me from a bar of soap.

This: It is what a true ADD coach does and does not do, but ADD coaching is so different than anything else that many people like you are wary and question the entire coaching process.
I am not a 'people like you', you don't know me. I was not questioning the coaching process. I recommend it to anyone who asks. I've co-coached other people with ADHD. It works. I was questioning the motive behind your description of ADHD. I've grown wary of such sweeping generalizations.

Jeremiah3
09-30-12, 01:37 AM
I agree. It does seem a sweeping (and doubtful) generalization to call ADHD a "blessing". If one insists on being "positive", at least you should be able to avoid the harm done by speaking in such simplistic terms, and give a more well rounded account of the positive possibilities coaching can have.

addproud
09-30-12, 01:02 PM
Wow!



Amberwillow, I was only trying to clarify things about what an ADD coach does. I was responding to your remark about being sarcastic, and in fact I did not challenge your remark. I agree that I do not know you nor am I pretending to know you. That is not the issue here.

I am not an ADD coach. I have ADD and was lucky enough at age 24 to have accidently been coached to turn my life around and again at age 56 when I sought the right coach. In fact I was extremely against being coached the first time, but circumstances forced me to at least try it. Thank goodness.

Regarding Rootkit’s apparent request of “At what point have you actually described what you do to help your clients in a fashion most people could understand?”

I was going to explain what an ADD coach does from the clients perspective, but Selena’s response of “They're basically like a life coach except the specialize in ADD/ADHD related problems” was very good. Since my response would have been much longer as I intended to list the things an ADD coach does, in plain language, and it appears that Amberwillow is no longer interested in the explanation, I will leave it at that.

minuss
10-01-12, 01:01 AM
I dont know. how hard is it to become a coach ? and why is it that most coaches i come accross have ADHD?

It is said that this is a good thing as the coach will understand where you come from. I find that some with adhd probably will have a harder time doing what they do to me.

What it seems like is that some people get ADHD coaching, realize that there is no oppertunity for them that they like, so these few people think, hey i can do what she did.

Hence you have a adhd coaches with adhd. This means any one can become a coach I mean if so many ADHD people are being accredited with the title then how hard can it really be?

This is just the perception i have for the moment.
people who are lost treating people that are lost. money is moved and the lost become the treaters of the new lost.

It works cause its a pyramid, as long as it grows money is just moving up the line and everyone is making there buck.

amberwillow
10-01-12, 02:09 AM
Wow!



Amberwillow, I was only trying to clarify things about what an ADD coach does. I was responding to your remark about being sarcastic, and in fact I did not challenge your remark. I agree that I do not know you nor am I pretending to know you. That is not the issue here.

I am not an ADD coach. I have ADD and was lucky enough at age 24 to have accidently been coached to turn my life around and again at age 56 when I sought the right coach. In fact I was extremely against being coached the first time, but circumstances forced me to at least try it. Thank goodness.

Regarding Rootkit’s apparent request of “At what point have you actually described what you do to help your clients in a fashion most people could understand?”

I was going to explain what an ADD coach does from the clients perspective, but Selena’s response of “They're basically like a life coach except the specialize in ADD/ADHD related problems” was very good. Since my response would have been much longer as I intended to list the things an ADD coach does, in plain language, and it appears that Amberwillow is no longer interested in the explanation, I will leave it at that.


I apologize for over-reacting to the tone of your answer and for hijacking the OP's thread.

Please do post in plain language (as you said) the things a ADHD Coach will do. I think that would be very relevant to the OP's question.

addproud
10-01-12, 09:30 AM
From minuss
I dont know. how hard is it to become a coach ? and why is it that most coaches i come accross have ADHD?

It is said that this is a good thing as the coach will understand where you come from. I find that some with adhd probably will have a harder time doing what they do to me.

What it seems like is that some people get ADHD coaching, realize that there is no oppertunity for them that they like, so these few people think, hey i can do what she did.

Hence you have a adhd coaches with adhd. This means any one can become a coach I mean if so many ADHD people are being accredited with the title then how hard can it really be?

This is just the perception i have for the moment.
people who are lost treating people that are lost. money is moved and the lost become the treaters of the new lost.

It works cause its a pyramid, as long as it grows money is just moving up the line and everyone is making there buck. Minuss
You described a serious problem with the entire coaching industry, not just ADD coaching. Anyone can become a coach. All people have to do is call themselves “coach.” And there are approximately 400 for PROFIT coach training schools claiming that buying their own special coach training program will turn people into qualified accredited coaches who can earn lots of money. There are approximately 60 schools, organizations and groups who SELL coaching certifications. So your perception is understandable, justified, and unfortunately more common than not.

Unfortunately getting lost in all of this confusion is the fact that the add coaching process, personal coaching specializing in coaching people with ADD, is a very effective, a very practical and a very valuable process for people, with or without ADD, to take control of their lives and improve their work lives, their personal lives, and their family lives more than they can imagine. But any form of personal coaching, including ADD coaching, must be done under the right conditions to work. One of the 6 conditions to successful coaching is that the coach must be a very good experienced coach who actually conducts real coaching. Frankly, it took me 6 months and 28 coaches before I connected with the right coach for me. Was it worth it? Yes! Is the frustrating trip of going through so many “coaches” still necessary? No!

Conman
10-01-12, 10:12 AM
i feel like having one as a littlun when i got diagnosed wouldve been beneficial, but now in college i have to make my own way with what ive got (for the most part). im curious as to what effects wouldve taken with me if i had a coach. oh well, no use looking at the past since theres nothing you can do about it

addproud
10-01-12, 11:31 AM
I apologize for over-reacting to the tone of your answer and for hijacking the OP's thread.

Please do post in plain language (as you said) the things a ADHD Coach will do. I think that would be very relevant to the OP's question.

Amberwillow,

Thank you for your response. Communicating on forums can get confusing, and as I tried to explain to you and as I responded to minuss your perceptions about the poor reputation of add coaching is understandable. Ok as you and Rootkit requested here is what I believe an ADD coach, a personal coach who specializes in coaching people with ADD does. Since I have ADD and tend to go on and on and on, I will do my best to keep it short. But no promises. Please remember, that the reason people engage an ADD coach, or any personal coach is to achieve, to complete their “coachable goals,” and the reason their coach coach’s them is to make darn sure they do. A coach’s job is to coach himself or herself out of a job. A “coachable goal is a future place you want to be that requires you to grow and improve as a person to achieve it”

ADD coaches:
1. Ask their clients questions to get them to open up and reveal things about themselves that they have never revealed to any one else in the world, including themselves.
2. Reflect back to their clients what they really revealed in a clear, objective, totally supportive, non-judgmental, and very confidential manner. They reveal clients to themselves. Just like a mirror reflects the truth about their face.
3. Become the personal private mirror into the five inner core ingredients that govern their clients. These are their hidden subconscious forces. Through this questioning and reflection (mirroring) process clients will discover:
a. Their hidden passions. They will not only confirm their known passions but also will discover and understand all of their other passions that have been lurking within them. This become a treasure hunt
b. Their self-imposed obstacles. These are the things they just do not want to do, with no reasons given or discussed. Too many people are doing lots of things they do not want to do, but do not know they dislike them so much. This is especially important for people with ADD. My disturbing struggles with cutting the yard exemplified how I fought myself by trying to force myself to do what I did not know I despised.
c. Beliefs and Values. These are people’s integrity points, their boundaries. Everyone has their own values and boundaries but they rarely know and understand them, thus they accept the values and boundaries of others, which really messes things up.
d. Talents. For people with ADD this is a very special core ingredient. Every human is a walking talking bundle of talents. They got their talents at birth. Yet they have different types, different shapes, different degrees and different forms of talents. But God did not give people a list of their talents. So people only discover a very small portion of their real talents, generally by accident. The rest are unknown. A true coach will seek and reveal the many hidden talents of their clients. This becomes another treasure hunt. Now for people with ADD this becomes a real fun and valuable trip. Because people with ADD have been blessed to have creative and other talents that are exceptional and world class. People with ADD are capable of performing things at incredible levels. Think Einstein, Thomas Edison, Muhamed Ali, Mozart, Michael Phelps, Steve Jobs, Robin Williams, Werner Von Braun, and the list goes on. Once people with ADD recognize their remarkable talents, well you can imagine
e. Priorities. What is first, second, third, fourth, etc. in their own rating system

By discovering these five ingredients, people will unravel the mysteries of themselves and become the “World’s Leading Expert On Themselves.” This is when people ARE in control.

4. Will assist their clients to clearly define their new goals and purposes in life in detail that allow them to fulfill their passions and priorities, follow their beliefs, maximize their talents and avoid as many of their self imposed obstacles as they can.
5. Work as a team to determine the conditions around them they can change to achieve their newly defined goals. ADD coaches do NOT change or fix their clients, because they are not broken. (I had to clarify this “do not” issue)
6. Once the clients determine their new life goals in detail to suit them, their coach will hold them accountable to themselves to be sure they actually change the conditions around them to achieve their newly defined coachable goals.
7. Celebrate with their clients the achievement by their clients of their “coachable goals.”

As a further note, finding a real ADD coach who is capable, has the experience and will perform as described above is not easy, because few people are blessed with the “Gift of Coaching” to be able to focus entirely on their clients and hear and understand them and reflect the truth without the judgment or and agenda, and finding such a coach that clients like and connect with personally will make it even tougher.

The add coaching process is like the music process. Anyone can call himself or herself a musician. But only a few people have the talent, the motivation, the experience, and the means to play great music. And listeners of music all have different tastes to connect with different types of music. A great gospel singer whose singing is enjoyed and appreciated by people who enjoy gospel music, is just as good a musician as a rock and roll band that plays great hard rock music. And music must be performed and heard under the right conditions. Listening to music during a hurricane will not get it. But when performed under the right conditions to the right audiences, great music can be incredible. I still remember the awesome 4.5-hour live concert performed jointly by Styx, Journey, and REO Speedwagon that they performed with excellent acoustics, and a great crowd in Ames Iowa.

And this is the short version. Whew!

ToneTone
10-01-12, 09:56 PM
I'll share the experience I had with a great ADHD coach.

Basically, I see coaching as more forward looking and problem solving than say, therapy, which may involve going back in time, reflecting on the origins of an idea, or the originals of a particular pattern.

I met this coach at an adult ADHD support group a few years ago in the Philadelphia, PA area. This woman was also a therapist and a business coach for people who don't have ADHD.

She was expensive, but I got a discount private rate from her, I think because I wrote to her after the meeting saying how much I enjoyed it and because I followed through on a suggestion she gave to send her an email identifying 5 personal strengths...

Basically she emphasized focusing on my strengths and figuring out how to maximize and leverage my strengths in everything I do ...

I'm a teacher and this woman was able to come up with a number of different tips for helping me make my job easier ... I feel so strongly about this now that I think all ADHDers should benefit from constantly asking the question about any task, "How can I make this easy?"

That may mean asking someone else to do some tedious work that you just cannot do without great pain and confusion ...

Focusing on my strengths means NOT following the crowd at work--not following the habits of people who can manage organization in a way that I can't ...

For example ... at my school people use a computer program/website that just totally confused me ... It was hard to correct mistakes in this system, and I got worn out ... After working with the coach, I switched to a different system and none of my department leaders cared one bit ... I now work on a system sort of like this forum, that is easy to post on and easy to edit if I make a mistake ....Switching to the forum software made my job SO MUCH EASIER ... But I only got there because I sought an easier way to do my job.

I'm shocked at things I've asked for at work (to make my job easier) that I got approval for without a hitch.

ADHDers get ground down so much and we lose our confidence and pick up shame, so it doesn't occur to us to pay a secretary a few dollars a week to fill out reports that would overwhelm us if we tried to do it.

Basically coaches are like therapists ... skill levels vary widely ... and a key component of "success" is the chemistry/bond between the coach and the client.


Tone

danelady
10-02-12, 09:58 AM
addproud,

I noticed you are of a more mature age,something I can identify more with. When you said you found a coach again at the age of 56,what was the age of the coach you used. I think I would find it very difficult to take advice from someone if they were a lot younger than me,somewhat younger would be fine.

Being older we deal with so many different problems,including our mortality staring us in the face and I was just wondering why you felt you still needed the coaching.

Thanks

addproud
10-02-12, 10:06 AM
I'll share the experience I had with a great ADHD coach.

Basically, I see coaching as more forward looking and problem solving than say, therapy, which may involve going back in time, reflecting on the origins of an idea, or the originals of a particular pattern.


I'm a teacher and this woman was able to come up with a number of different tips for helping me make my job easier ... I feel so strongly about this now that I think all ADHDers should benefit from constantly asking the question about any task, "How can I make this easy?"

That may mean asking someone else to do some tedious work that you just cannot do without great pain and confusion ...

Focusing on my strengths means NOT following the crowd at work--not following the habits of people who can manage organization in a way that I can't ...

For example ... at my school people use a computer program/website that just totally confused me ... It was hard to correct mistakes in this system, and I got worn out ... After working with the coach, I switched to a different system and none of my department leaders cared one bit ... I now work on a system sort of like this forum, that is easy to post on and easy to edit if I make a mistake ....Switching to the forum software made my job SO MUCH EASIER ... But I only got there because I sought an easier way to do my job.

I'm shocked at things I've asked for at work (to make my job easier) that I got approval for without a hitch.

ADHDers get ground down so much and we lose our confidence and pick up shame, so it doesn't occur to us to pay a secretary a few dollars a week to fill out reports that would overwhelm us if we tried to do it.

Basically coaches are like therapists ... skill levels vary widely ... and a key component of "success" is the chemistry/bond between the coach and the client.


Tone

Your insight to take control of your ADHD by focusing on changing the conditions around you to allow you to do what you love and avoid doing the things you dislike is spot on, and I quote again: “But I only got there because I sought an easier way to do my job. I'm shocked at things I've asked for at work (to make my job easier) that I got approval for without a hitch.”

You further revealed how ADHDers can overcome being “ground down and we lose our confidence and pick up shame” to make life much easier by doing things your way. A coach will help you identify these special things you love to do and the things you really dislike, and give you the clarity, support and confidence to do them and/or avoid them on your own terms to make life so much easier, more fun, and productive.

When I finally recognized how much I disliked mowing the grass, I immediately got back 4 Saturdays a month by being free of my self imposed drudgery of having to cut the stupid grass by hiring a neighborhood kid to mow my yard. I have not cut a blade since.

addproud
10-02-12, 10:36 AM
addproud,
I noticed you are of a more mature age,something I can identify more with. When you said you found a coach again at the age of 56,what was the age of the coach you used. I think I would find it very difficult to take advice from someone if they were a lot younger than me,somewhat younger would be fine.

Being older we deal with so many different problems,including our mortality staring us in the face and I was just wondering why you felt you still needed the coaching.

Thanks

Thank you for your “mature” comment. Older for sure am I. Mature is still in question. My coach was 8 years younger. Yet he gave me NO advice. Instead, he just revealed to me what I wanted, disliked, my talents and values. He was my mirror into myself. Through him I discovered I was passionate about starting a business, something that I had been trying to figure out for over 17 years. So we designed my business to suit me on my terms. He gave me NO business advice and frankly he had very little business experience or knowledge. I did NOT need NOR want his advice. It was all within me and he drew it out.

He also revealed to me another passion and matching talent I had that I had avoided all my life because I was told by several teachers that I was too stupid to do. But now I enjoy doing do it and get rewarded for doing so. Back when I was in school, ADD was not recognized, so I was treated with disdain as a disruption and malcontent. Went to 4 high schools, asked to leave one after only one semester. Too many visits to the Principals office, among other things.

You will be amazed at the many things you hold inside you, especially at our age that once you discover them will change your life. I am 67 now and still enjoy learning more things about myself.

danelady
10-03-12, 09:41 AM
Haha..this is the only way I have figured out how to delete a double post and the edit button has to still be up. I click on edit,delete everything I wrote,and then write that I mistakenly double posted because I noticed you have to put something up there. That's my kindergarten way out of a double post.

Otherwise I think the mods have to delete it.



OOPS

I messed up and posted more than once. I am sorry, but do not know how to delete the duplications.

ADD am I!

addproud
10-03-12, 11:34 AM
Danalady,

Thank you for confirming that I am not 100% crazy. I found the (Edit/Delete) button to be short on the "Delete" function, and will not allow a blank post.

Whew!:thankyou:

minuss
10-05-12, 11:30 PM
"He also revealed to me another passion and matching talent I had that I had avoided all my life because I was told by several teachers that I was too stupid to do. But now I enjoy doing do it and get rewarded for doing so."

Here you mention something concrete. A new hidden talent which definitely would be worth the trip. Curiously, you did not mention what it is... mind if i ask?

Basically, from what I am understanding, it is some kind of de-cluttering of the brain. Much like true meditation. Not focusing and dwelling on thoughts but rather letting thoughts run through you and finnally the lesser important thoughts get to be seen.

This is some kind play on ones focus to find out deeper things.

But is there something berried in our brain that can be life changing like a new talent leading to a new job ? Or is it just "I hate cutting the grass so hire some one" kind of thing (no offence)

Since we have finally got an answer to what does a coach do, lets now look at the benefits of these meeting.

Also. Im curious about how much such a thing costs, and how many sessions it takes.
or is it a life long kinda thing that we cling on to out of some mis guided respect or loyalty?

Personally, I think if one takes an hour out of there day to just relax and let the juices flow he would also see.

addproud
10-06-12, 02:39 PM
"He also revealed to me another passion and matching talent I had that I had avoided all my life because I was told by several teachers that I was too stupid to do. But now I enjoy doing do it and get rewarded for doing so."

Here you mention something concrete. A new hidden talent which definitely would be worth the trip. Curiously, you did not mention what it is... mind if i ask?

Basically, from what I am understanding, it is some kind of de-cluttering of the brain. Much like true meditation. Not focusing and dwelling on thoughts but rather letting thoughts run through you and finnally the lesser important thoughts get to be seen.

This is some kind play on ones focus to find out deeper things.

But is there something berried in our brain that can be life changing like a new talent leading to a new job ? Or is it just "I hate cutting the grass so hire some one" kind of thing (no offence)

Since we have finally got an answer to what does a coach do, lets now look at the benefits of these meeting.

Personally, I think if one takes an hour out of there day to just relax and let the juices flow he would also see.

Minus, first if I may, a little background about my younger days will reveal why I was so surprised to hear at 56 I had these hidden passions and talents within me.

I had two controlling high school English teachers in different high schools, who degraded me whenever they could for a number of reasons. I was a lousy English student. Having ADD, which was not recognized back then, I was bored, inattentive, and probably very disruptive and even disrespectful to the teachers. We really clashed. They frequently sent me to the principal’s office. All homework papers and tests were written by hand. No computers back then. They graded them harshly, especially for grammar, syntax, and spelling, and rarely evaluated the contents of my essays. They both designated me as illiterate, and unteachable. The only reason they passed me was to keep me from repeating their classes. Yet, no one realized, including me, that I had dyslexia. So my hand written papers were full of many spelling, grammar, and syntax mistakes that I could not see. I was also forced to take Latin at my third high school. (I went to 4) My Latin teacher tried hard at first, but quickly gave up. My disdain for English hurt me because knowing English was necessary to learn Latin. Go figure! She told me that I should consider English to be my second language, and reluctantly passed me.

After these beat downs by my English and language teachers, I had no confidence and no desire to have anything to do with either. I pursued a degree in Engineering because it allowed me to avoid taking any languages. I earned a BS and a MS in Industrial Engineering from two major Universities. But I still carried this strong stigma against English. It was deep.

At age 56 my coach revealed to me how much I enjoyed writing and that I had a natural talent for writing. I thought he was putting me on at first, but he would not waiver. Once I accepted these two new discoveries about myself, I wanted to do something about it. So I wrote 4 different articles about subjects that my coach revealed I was passionate about. (Business ownership development) I submitted them to about 220 well-known print magazines for publication. By now I could write on my computer and use, what I consider the most important writing tool ever invented for people with ADD and/or dyslexia-Spellchecker! Hooray! Even as I type this I mix my letters and spellchecker either alerts me or better yet, just corrects my bad spelling and grammar.

The expert who helped me thought I would do well if 3 of my articles were published even though he said they were well written, because I was a total unknown, and I picked very popular and respected magazines. Over 33 different editors published my articles, and some published more than one. That meant that 33 professional ENGLISH editors thought enough of my original articles to risk their reputations by publishing them. Boy, did I feel vindicated. My articles have since been published over 120 times and I published my own e-book that people actually buy. Writing is fun for me now. So much for being illiterate.

It took my coach to reflect back to me what had been inside me all long, but I could not see. And that is the core of the real benefits of being coached, especially if you have ADD, because we are so different. Coaching is based on physics. We cannot see our face because of where our eyes are. We look into a mirror to see our face. What’s a mirror? It is a real time reflection of an outside view looking back at us. When we look into a mirror, we see the truth. Ok a reversal of it, but we know that and compensate for it. A coach will become your real time, nonjudgmental, objective, and very confidential mirror to see what is inside you that you cannot see. When people unravel the mystery of themselves, they are then in true control of their lives. Worked for me.

Verile
10-07-12, 01:07 AM
You know, it's funny, addproud. After reading your first post in this thread I was sure you were an internet troll trying to parody the XYZibit meme. You may be too old to know what that means but essentially I thought you were being sarcastic and making a joke.

That's a sincere and beautiful story you shared with us though. Good for you. That said, there's no way in hell I would've made it to coach 28 before I gave up on finding a coach.

minuss
10-10-12, 01:26 AM
addproud, thanks for the info. Maybe there is something there, I wonder how much such a discovery costed (how many sessions at what price) Not that it was not worth it, but if there was no hidden talent the cost may have not been worth it .

I too had the exact same problem not sure if im dyslexic but it would not surprise me if there was something related to reading and writing that effected me. But in my case, I am pretty confident that there is no hidden talent lol.

spell check ? what spell check ?

ToneTone
10-10-12, 10:45 PM
On the issue of age, my coach was younger than I am and my previous therapist was younger than I am, and they were both great.

My general doctor is about 15 years younger than I am. She's excellent.

My current psychiatrist is about 20 years younger than I am ... I blinked the first time I saw him, but he's excellent. Great listener, really takes good notes and remembers everything I say and brings up all the important points. Takes my blood pressure each time ... Returns my calls quickly if I want to reschedule.

I'm 50 ... and once you get into your 40's, doctors, pharmacists, police officers, homeless people, bootleggers, one-legged robbers--all kinds of people end up being younger.

Yes, I can take guidance from a younger person ... I don't care if they are younger ... The question is whether they have insight and skill I can learn from.

My pharmacist, I swear, looks like he's 20 years old, and he's fast and great and highly informed if I have any questions.

The funny thing is that my ADHD coach was so organized, so competent and so good that I end up experiencing her as if she was older.

You can't let the age thing get in the way or else you'll miss out on great stuff. Young people often come out of school with great training, the latest up-to-date science and techniques. And I love the energy of young people.
Tone

rek101
10-14-12, 03:05 AM
The best coach I ever had as when in b school I hired an admin assistent to login to all my course websites and tell me what to do. I went from a 2.8 to a 4.0. I once called a coaching service and felt crappy about myself after talking to a guy who had achieved far less than I had and used me opening up to him as an excuse to take cheap shots. I find it far more likely that a nice grad student would want to help me stay organized for some extra spending money than a competent insightful coach would want to become a coach. If you can afford enough money to pay someone gifted at coaching, it is a good idea or if you have patience to try out a few dozen before settling on one, it also makes sense. The problem is similar to internet dating. Its far more attractive to the cheater or lazy selfish person to have an endless supply of fresh meat than it is likely that one well meaning nice person will find another nice person. To find that good coach, you'll need to sort through a lot of wannabees and predators. I'm sticking with assistants and using something like david allen's getting things done. Coaching at the higest levels works, but I think most self proclaimed coaches are likely wannabees who couldn't make it in their respective fields. I dont want someone who can relate to me; I want someone with different skill sets who can help me do what I can't do on my own.

ginniebean
10-14-12, 05:37 PM
Addproud,

I don't know what format you're using but it makes all sorts of crap appear is we try and quote you.

I look at your list of things coaches do and find myself a bit unnerved. Unspecified, 1,2,and 3, on your list are the kind of things trained professionals in psychotherapy do, coaches are not trained therapeutically and it seems to me to be, if what you say is true a potential for practicing without a license. Coaches are not trained therapists, telling them your deep dark secrets is not appropriate. Perhaps your list is overstating what a coach can offer?

Verile
10-15-12, 02:57 AM
true a potential for practicing without a license. Coaches are not trained therapists, telling them your deep dark secrets is not appropriate.

I feel the same way about therapists; having a license doesn't make it any more appealing to expose myself to someone.

ginniebean
10-15-12, 03:30 AM
I feel the same way about therapists; having a license doesn't make it any more appealing to expose myself to someone.

I hear you but if the problem is causing you suffering.. I'd rather someone be trained in dealing with it than someone playing therapist.

Verile
10-15-12, 04:05 AM
Fair enough. But then again, given my personal experience with therapists and Pdocs, I'm not sure how high they really set the bar.

I can see why someone might prefer a life coach, someone with actual life experience who has gotten his hands dirty and put his theories to the test. It's like hiring a Sensei, a wizened teacher who will share pearls of wisdom with you.

As opposed to a therapist who, more often than not, comes from a good background and got through college on his parent's dime. He's book smart and is up to date on all the academic literature but you can't relate to him. He understands in the clinical sense but he doesn't really understand because he's never experienced your pain. He listens and sympathizes but his advice sounds shallow and rehearsed.

I'm generalizing. I'm not saying it's always like this but I can see why someone might prefer one to the other. A life coach could just as easily be a con artist and a therapist could certainly have chosen his profession because his life struggles were so demanding and he truly feels he has the experience and knowledge to save his patients.