I need to ask someone.
I would like to know what the opinions would be.
What if you and another person just found eachother accidentally, thought you were awesome, started opening up a sense of "wow" all over heart and body from mere phone or messaging convo's, then felt as if it may be love and expressed it.... all of a sudden you both(maybe not at once) realize you have so much to find and search for within yourselves and need time. When you feel you need time to make sure, due to feeling so wonderful for this other person, that the relationship does not end up gone due to rushing. "when fools rush in"... :rolleyes:

I am sincerely afraid in many a way, that I have found my soulmate in life and love in undifined realms. I am scared because we decided committment was not for us now. Yet I love the fact that we are good communicators so we have a superb friendship and it seems to grow as days progress.

He is has ADD and now I have found to have it as well. On a road to self discovery as he put it so defined.

Are we making the right choice to let go of that part of the relationship or are we in danger ?
Are we in danger of walking away from a once in a lifetime moment of truth and happiness??

PLEASE COMMENT..

maybe you are just two mature people who have some wisdom and would prefer to give yourselves the best chance possible starting with exploring your friendship.

Enjoy your friendship, develop yourself, explore your feelings. You didn't mention how long you've been involved with this person. Don't mistake excitement and attraction for love.

You could revisit the decision in a year's time and see where you are: closer, farther.

Maybe you like where you are now. Maybe you'll feel differently.j

That's one option.

CS

Actually, this strikes me as an incredibly wise and mature decision on both your parts.
I've never met anyone in my life--and I have travel extensively and met many, many people--who has told me "Gee, I waited too long and went too slowly when I entered relationships".
Rather, its always the opposite. People say "I should have waited longer/gotten to know them better, before we got married"
As we mature, and passion takes a back seat to reason, we realize the wisdom in taking things slowly; taking time to reflect, taking time to consider our goals, our needs and most importantly of all, the consequesces of our own actions.

When I first entered a (six month long) inpatient substance abuse treatment program some 18 years ago, one of the first things the counselers hammered into us was "NO RELATIONSHIPS FOR THE FIRST 2 YEARS OF SOBRIETY" Now, one of the things I sincerely wanted out of sobriety was to have a healthy relationship, and to be told I had to wait 2 years was unbearable to me. But, after about 4 years, I began to see the incredible wisdom in that belief.
If this man really is your "soulmate", the relationship will not suffer from taking things slowly and carefuly; rather, it will give it time to slowly mature, to develop, and to grow.

(This post was written by someone who, although he has severe problems with being impulsive, didn't get married until he was 34)

What wise answers in this thread!

I once read that the single most defining circumstance of whether a marriage was successful or not had to do with how long the couple had known each other prior to marriage. This overrode age, previous relationship failures, and courtship time.

How long? Two years.

I thank everyone who has just responded to this thread. I am begining to believe that there is nothing in the way of our (the man I speak of and me) knowing we were made for one another. I always would say that. I mean we finish our sentences sometimes.. or small details like food choices and how we see things is so very on the dot type with us. I am glad to actually say one thing that has become even more true today than ever before.

HE IS MY "BEST" FRIEND.

I thank you all again I hope to get more insight to come from all of our experiences.

*so far so good* ~~(lol)
you are helping to put my fear of loosing what I believe is my greatest dream come true...:)

Finding your soulmate is not a destination. Neither is "commitment" a destination.
Consider that this is like finding someone to share your journey with and your journey actually has NO destination.

I think the rules society thrusts on us make us think that if we don't have some sworn guarantee that the other person will be around forever then we can't embrace and enjoy the current journey with them.

Embrace and enjoy every moment of your current experience with this person. Don't keep score or judge its success based on whether or not you take it to some "next level". Just make sure you play wholeheartedly at this level.

I think the rules society thrusts on us make us think that if we don't have some sworn guarantee that the other person will be around forever then we can't embrace and enjoy the current journey with them.

Embrace and enjoy every moment of your current experience with this person. Don't keep score or judge its success based on whether or not you take it to some "next level". Just make sure you play wholeheartedly at this level.
This is definately something I was hoping that I can do successfully. I don't want to bring him down in any way. He is someone super special in my life and not due to companionship but he has shown me such true friendship. I always called so many people friends and now I know the true meaning. I know I had mostly accuantances
Well, I am definately ready to embark on this journey with him and myself and to enjoy and pray he will enjoy every moment we can be around eachother.
Thanks for this ...:o

This is definately something I was hoping that I can do successfully. I don't want to bring him down in any way. He is someone super special in my life and not due to companionship but he has shown me such true friendship. I always called so many people friends and now I know the true meaning. I know I had mostly accuantances
Well, I am definately ready to embark on this journey with him and myself and to enjoy and pray he will enjoy every moment we can be around eachother.
Thanks for this ...:o

Just remember, every journey has potholes too! If you can learn to laugh at the blowouts you get from those...then you will do just fine!

(Sorry to keep writing in metaphors....I can't help myselfl! :D)

(Sorry to keep writing in metaphors....I can't help myselfl! :D)
heh heh.. well that is quite alright with me. lol Just keep up the good work..lol
I have been known to do this as well..
thanks again!:cool:

I just actually wanted to update on this thread. I had been able to relocate to the old home of mine.. which is where I found this person online that I recently spoke of in this thread. My best friend he has become and still to this moment a great part of me inside and out. He is awesome still. I have learned a great deal from him and my horizons have opened in many a way. He has been a great wonder and superb addition to my life. I am happy we are still in eachother's lives. I am not sure if there is really a soul mate for me .. if so I would say even if he were not the one in my love aspect .. he is as my twin inside. Just the other night, again, we found another similarity in taste of music. I just can not believe he likes the same things that I used to believe no other soul.. especially a man in my own life, would ever even have heard of that I have enjoyed now and in my past. It is incredible to me. I pray our time will just become more and more funfilled as it has been to this day. Even in person. When I met him it was online from NY now in the same state. It feels great he is only a drive or call away.

Thanks for the feedback all..

I just came back to visit the forum. I looked at this thread and had to update or comment if I may.

I have definitely grown very much from the days I had begun here on ADD forums. I have learned much. I made wrong decisions and very right ones as well. I almost even lost myself until now. I found other things more important than to get on here and regroup my thoughts as I once did and it doesn't help. I have recently deleted the choices of other forums from my daily routine. That is one thing I also had to stop... The "routine"...

I have found that this person, he is still my best friend. I am very much in love with him. Love as I see it might I say. We all have our own perceptions. I feel great joy when we are together. He is still very true with his friendship before all. Something I still take in to much appreciation. He has remained although we have had our bumps.. or as FightingBoredom put it so defined, "Just remember, every journey has potholes too! If you can learn to laugh at the blowouts you get from those...then you will do just fine!"...
We are still working on this I think.. heh heh**

I will be trying to come in here more often and check in to more insight... I need it.

I believe if I can get some help and/or provide help to anyone in my position (which we are all in here for many similarities I'm sure) then I have done something healthy to assist in my passing days...

Please feel free to share any new experiences from those who can relate...

with all sincerity, Charisma.

hmmm I guess I am just posting to make an addition and sort of answer to when you may just know you have found that person...



I keep thinking.. " I have really found him"... Well that is my conclusion to the thought that we just seem to grow more and become closer every disagreement. Instead of vice versa where we could be growing father apart. We always tend to talk things out afterwards and get things going even better than before.

A very positive sign I believe.. :)

hugs to all..., Charisma

Darling.

I think it's great that you've found a best friend to relate to and if he's the one for you....JUST GO FOR IT and if it's the right thing it'll be beautiful...TRUST ME:)

Thanks CrazyGirl... So far so good. Even the arguements..LOL! The ADD family tree begins haha..

Hugs, Charisma