Living alone at Holiday time can suck but I have found small ways to cope. I do make an 8+ hr. drive a day or so before Christmas to be with a few relatives. It helps me to write that Christmas letter that highlights the good things that have happened to me during the past year (but haven't listened to it yet). It makes me focus on good things. I am not overly religious but I enjoy listening to Christmas music. Last year I didn't listen to any until that long drive a couple of days before Christmas and did not feel I had had enough when the 25th came so am starting to listen to it earlier this year. When my daughter was a teenager she pointed out that almost all of my Christmas music came from dead people, many of whom had personal tragedies: Nat King Cole who died of lung cancer, Karen Carpenter who died from anorexia, Elvis Presley who died at a youngish age from drugs and poor lifestyle. He also seemed to be a very lonely man. Another, Bing Crosby, whose sons from his first marriage felt very neglected and at times abused; his first wife killed herself and at least one son killed himself. But Johnny Mathis, Tony Bennett, and Barbra Streisand seem happy and fulfilled after all these years. Since I no longer have a turntable, I can't listen to my records so have broadened my Christmas music.
I have relatively happy memories of my childhood Christmases, probably because I didn't know how miserable my parents actually were. As a single parent I felt I always struggled to give my daughter a happy Chistmas but feel I often failed at that due to my bouts of depression.
A very good TNT movie if you get to see it is "The Wool Cap" with William H. Macy. I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we don't have that we forget how many others are truly suffering. My daughter lives far away but she and her husband are doing well after struggling in their teens and 20s. I have a warm house, a job that is going well, and 2 loving dogs who I love to hear breathing nearby as I go to sleep at night.
Peace be with you all.
Coolwoman

And a peaceful season to you as well. (and everyone else too!) Overall, I'm relatively chilled. I am usually fairly stressed out because the holiday expectations overwhelm and drain me. But this year my perspective is a bit different, because I now officially know that I have ADHD which explains my harried, frazzled life. I was just diagnosed last month (though I had suspected it for at least a year but kept my opinion to myself until I finally got an evaluation). I am thankful because my husband is being supportive and has heard the distress in my voice. He has been very helpful in de-cluttering the house. I have been a terrible housekeeper which he has been patient with to begin with, but even with his attempts to keep order, my disorganization really has toppled his best efforts, but now that we know I have ADHD, he is taking a different angle by re-organizing and removing items-making space more open and less overwhelming for me. Our spare bedroom which I predominantly use as my "work" space (computer, bill-paying,etc) well, the room was a fiasco, and he cleaned it up. It is a real whopper of a start for me to finally, hopefully get a handle on this problem issue for me. A lot of ADHD people have family & friends who don't acknowledge or accept the ADHD as real. I am lucky because my husband recognizes my ADHD as real, but also sees that it's not an excuse for me to just continue the way I am too so will appropriately expect me to take responsibility too. But he knows that it's going to take time for a change to be felt. So this holiday season, I have already received one of the most important gifts of understanding.

Peace to all.

I too am pretty much alone this holiday. I will be visiting a friend for dinner, but my daughter is quite far away and I am looking forward to seeing her in January -- when we shop til we drop at the post-Christmas sales.

I have food, shelter, warmth, and friends. I too have a great canine friend to keep me company. I am also very grateful that my usual winter depression hasn't settled in yet.

So many people are so much worse off. I have visited a homeless shelter and met people without decent clothes, good nutrition, or even teeth -- real or false.

My home may be a mess, but at least I have one.

Yes. We can have a warm home; we can have our loving family; our sweet and furry friends. I do! :) & :rolleyes:

We can be surrounded by many people...our friends, co-workers, acquaintances and yet we can also have our feelings of loneliness, sadnesses. Me too! :(

Past losses and memories of can flood us with emotion at this time. This time of year has the "tendency" to do this to us....we are reminded that we are very human after all. Me too! :confused: and a bunch of other faces that are not suitable for print :p lol

And it is okay. We are entitled to feel these feelings; to own them and to move through our daily lives with them. I believe that [for me], this is a part of being human; what makes us compassionate and caring and what can allow us to give to others...no, not just during the holiday season but during every season of our lives.

Am I preaching.....sometimes I wonder. If I am, I am sorry. It just feels safer and saner to do this. But I do think that maybe I can say it and should say it.

The holidays suck. There it's out.

I cry, I think of my dead mother (her birthday is Christmas eve). I am always overwhelmed by shopping, writing cards and going all over the place.

And I am reminded that my husband died on January 13. And I remember...

and now what?

For me, I guess that I just go right back out there and live.

Peace

This was just forwarded to me from a co-worker. Thought you might enjoy it. (We work in a "human behavior" related department)

CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DYSFUNCTIONAL

Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are

Amnesia --- I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and

Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire

Hydrants and ..

Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me

Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ..

Agoraphobia --- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House

Autistic --- Jingle Bell Rock and Rock and Rock and Rock .

Senile Dementia --- Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe

Oppositional Defiant Disorder --- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House

Social Anxiety Disorder--- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate.

I cry, I think of my dead mother (her birthday is Christmas eve). I am always overwhelmed by shopping, writing cards and going all over the place.

And I am reminded that my husband died on January 13. And I remember...

and now what?

For me, I guess that I just go right back out there and live.

Peace
I am so sad for you. Of course this would be a difficult time for you with reminders of such losses.

I hope you can find some pleasure in the season despite these anniversaries.

Happy Holidays
and
Happy New Year

May you find Peace and Joy in this time of great challenges and strife

This morning I received a nice Christmas greeting in my work email from another department where I work.

I took my Adderall XR because I intended to do some work that I should have gotten done BUT I ended up spending many hours unsuccessfully trying to edit the Christmas greeting to send to others, and I finally ended up creating my own Christmas greeting that I emailed to some friends. Now, doesn't that sound just like an ADD day!!

Yes. Thank-you, Choral! I spoke to my therapist......

Right now I need to set my boundaries....my problem is that I have always held back all of my feelings; just stuffed them. And so my style is to walk around with this great pain [all the other childhood losses and trauma and stuff.] He tells me that I must get it all out now. I am going to do this---for my health and for my future.

I have been thinking about all of the stuff that I have been writing and I have to stop until I can get a handle on all of these emotions. He thinks that for now I need to keep away from the forum [until, at least, I can develop healthy bounderies and I can learn to pay attention to posts that will not trigger...]

It's just that there are so many triggers out there, especially on this forum. I feel and then I react.

He mentioned PSTD and I agree. And now that the holidays are here, well you can only imagine....... And the holidays do not really suck...I really love them. It's just the emotions that do....

thanks for caring.

My deepest Holiday greetings to all of ya here!! I too have emotinal triggers that send me in to over load....I cry at the slightest triggers..I lost my Dad right after Thanksgiving - 1989...been awhile and I should be healing but triggers send me into overload and I cry. My therapist thinks I cry too easily and I should take meds to prevent these tearful episodes. I DISAGREE totally and refuse to do that..I am who I am.. I think tears can be a great source of relief..I cry when I am happy, I cry when I am sad...I even have cried when a long overdue blessing; miraculously arrives...Thank God is my emotion then! Such as ex. just being diagnosed after all these years...Now I know why things have been the way they were. I too am lonely..after 3 failed mariages and a struggling relationship now that I am trying to save and restructure after dx....I too feel that pain. I will NEVER give up--I have great friends here that OUR very supportive...:)Emotions are what make us unique..I just woke up and realized in last couple days..I am SOMEBODY important and as I am aging I am getting more THANKFUL for the simple things in life...There's not one present under that Xmas tree that would mean as much to me as to Have good health, love and peace from close family and friends. That's all I want for Christmas..Peace, and love. The best things in life are simple and easily given...Enjoy!!

All these posts are wonderful

Thank all of you for sharing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deeper I would hope-selfishly I'm sure--that you do NOT remain away from ADD Forums for long I will truly miss your sharing.

Peace is a great wish for all!
Here's to HAPPY MEMORIES including the ones we are making now for others.

Deliver me out of my sadness.
Deliver me from all of the madness.

Deliver me the courage to guide me.
Deliver me the strength from inside inside me.

All of my life I've been in hiding,
wishing there were someone just like you
now that you are here;
now that I have found you....

I know that you are the one to help me.

Deliver me to loving and caring
Deliver me to giving and sharing
Deliver me from the cross that I'm bearing

All of my live I was in hiding
wishing there was someone just like you.....

from a Sarah Brightman cd

charlie----thank you.

My therapist thinks I cry too easily and I should take meds to prevent these tearful episodes. I DISAGREE totally and refuse to do that..I am who I am..
do you believe that the meds would blunt your emotions, and maybe even separate you from your deeper side. Will you become detatched from your feelings and maybe even a more profound truth....

I am now experiencing my emotions, and I wonder if this can get in the way of functioning more fully in my life. Or maybe, I need to just expose it all; get in touch with and really know this full range.

I just wish that this depth would not interfer so much and constantly surprise me...

and sometimes it does.


I think tears can be a great source of relief..I cry when I am happy, I cry when I am sad...I even have cried when a long overdue blessing; miraculously arrives...