ok.. i hope u can help me.. i have a bf with ADD/ADHD.. and he tells me he loves me and that he wants to be together forever... but sometimes he acts as though im not even there... we're both 16 yrs old.. and sometimes while im with him he gets too caught up in video games or even TV.. he seems to just ignore me the whole time... but at other times, he can be the sweetest bf ever and acts like he really cares about me... i watch tv and play video games too.. but after awhile it seems to get a little too boring.. u know?? But sometimes it get to the point where he's just not there with me.. he just totally spaced out.. he is on medication.. and sometimes it does tend to make him kinda feel low.. he tends to get real quiet and when i ask him if he's ok.. he either doesnt say anything.. or he says i dont know... sometimes i get the feeling "is he thinking about breaking up with me??".. i really love him, and i dont wanna lose him.. but all i wanna know is if he really cares for me or not!! but like i said, he can be the sweetest bf ever.. and he wants to hang out at times.. and of course, he tells me "I love you"... heck!.. he told me he loved me before we even started going together.

what do i do???? Do you think he really loves me???

princess

there is no way anyone can tell you if he loves you we are not him the only one that can tell you that is him .


and as for him being spaced out that is add/adhd he might want to ask the doc for stronger meds but thats up to him but it might help and it might not

but also have faith just because he does not answer you that dont mean he is thinking about breaking up with you read up on adhd/add and you will under stand it alot better one thing with add/adhd is the person is thinking of alot of things at once and it might not be important stuff at all but they think about it

You're not the first woman to complain of a zoned out partner. But yeah, ADDers hyperfocus and TV and video games is easy to zone out on.

I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he cares for you very much. He said he loved you before you were dating, so friendships are very often longer lasting than highschool sweethearts. (sorry to be a crummy grown up to say that, but the true love forever stories happen, but not nearly as often as we'd like to think)

I second PrivateEye...learn about ADD, the symptoms, etc. Visit the non-ADD partner section and teen section if you haven't already. The nicest thing my hubby does for me is accepts me and loves me for who I am and wants me to live to my full potential. He thinks I'm "cute", and often the things I say and do that are "cute" is straight from the ADD section of my brain. (realistically I can annoy him, but we're used to each other...mostly he doesn't want me to worry him)

Your bf has to take time to come into his own and figure out what he wants to be and what he wants his life to look like. Seldom does one have their life figured out at 16. Some don't figure it out til they're 30. (shoot for somewhere in the middle)

Two nice things I did with boyfriend(s)...

1) a guy I dated in high school was really into camping, hiking, etc. So my Mom took us all on a hiking trip and he and I also canoed together. So get out and find other hobbies, even if it's just for yourself. (try out for the school play together, or something)

2) another bf and I read together. Barnes and Noble has couches and cozy chairs so you can read for free there or at the library. Snuggle up to a magazine you don't have to buy. Ok, so I was a geek, we read Star Trek novels together...but if you're cooler than I ever was pick something that rocks your world. Harry Potter, anime, WWF, whatever. I heard of one couple that went to antique shows and collected Pez dispensers together. You get the idea.

Don't get paranoid. (said the pot to the kettle) If I remember correctly, break ups are pretty obvious. If he's not the talking type he'll just stop hangin' out with you altogether. Also, if I remember correctly, breaking up in high school totally sucks and you feel like dirt, you hate him, and it takes "forever" to get over it. I hope you have an easier time of it should this unfortunately happen...but don't count on it. Keep in touch with your girlfriends, cuz you're gonna need a sleep over with mega junk food especially chocolate and "Titanic" or some equally tear-jerking, sappy, romantic movie so you can all cry and b*tch about men together.


Did that help at all or did I just depress you?
Excuse me now, I'm down memory lane, 16 again and suddenly feel the need for a chick-flick.

awwwww.. lol.. thanks to the both of u trying to help me out.. and yes u did help me

I agree with eyeforgot, like she did with me. But like in my wife she is still learning to deal with me. And even though I know I had adhd my whole life my mom could not get them to do anything. They said not enough proof, but they didnt know a lot about it back then so now I'm takeing care of it. I'm 29, will be 30 in feb, and have just been on meds for about 2 weeks. The problem me and wife is having is my adhd was making our life together rough so we are learning how to deal with it together and let me tell ya it is rough and it will probably get rougher befor it get easy, but not sure.

This is our first marriage and we both agreed when we got married that we make a commitment and never quit on each other and never leave each other. We didnt say "I do" for nothing and we love each other verry verry much. We will get through this. My wife has anxiety and a little depression so we have to deal with that as well, and the doc said with my mood swings I could have some bipolar, but she said that is sometimes part of adhd/add so if my adhd med, which is concerta dont help the bipolar part I will have to probably take some other kind of med.

Me and my wife have been together for 5 yrs and married for about two this April. There is always trials and tribulations in any relationship but when people get married it make more trials and both people have to give 110 % to make it work and our marriage is warth all of that and more. I also want to go back to school. I've never been to college and not sure what I want to take and I'm almost 30. I want to take police academy and something in computers and plumbing. I used to dd plumbing but never was lic so I thought about taking all 3 things but at different times and spread them out so I would not get bored with school, then if I get tired of one I have the other, I guess, but not sure. Well I'm done blabbing my mouth. Hope I didnt bore anyone.